Monger

I’m not real | 19 | he/him they/them

[cryptidmonger-blog]

I love staying up until 2am to finish a fanfiction only to find out theres a sequel :)

[hobwithluv]

im in philosophy and were talking about how you can doubt everything’s existence except for your own consciousness and the guy that sits in front of me just turns around tears streaming down his face and goes “i am on so many drugs”

[insideabasketcase]

Imagine if we treated other things like we do astral signs

Omg you’re such a Wednesday’s child :/

[phantom-solitaire]

Well there is a rhyme about that…

At some point people did.

[icarusalis]

Tell me 😃

[phantom-solitaire]

This is the poem in question, and people have been using it for a long while (poem is attributed to 1500s old English) to give personality traits. So you know…

[dwergas-deactivated20180817]

french = joke language. someone made it up in a hot summer sunday for a laugh and it caught on

[dwergas-deactivated20180817]

typical gallo-roman sitting down speaking vulgar latin and said “ouh la la…” for a joke and the rest is history

[sometimestuesday-deactivated202]

It’s so weird how sometimes when I read a poem it just feels like a bunch of words and sometimes when I read a poem it feels like someone ripping my heart out of my body and throwing it at my face at 90 mph

[valtsv]

i just realized in like 30 years or so there’s gonna be gay teens making posts like “imagine being a gay person in the 2010s and hearing ‘take me to church’ by hozier for the first time” like… the solidarity of it all

[anxietyproblem]

[biggest-goldiest-fish]

[thusspoketrish]

hahaha, that gif thoooo. perf. 

[gamerfreddie]

Oh look, it me

[delirialsoul]

@biggest-gaudiest-patronuses @masochist-incarnate @thebootydiaries @the-german-russian-skinwalker how do I become a shitpost god?

[eternal-fractal]

Eat shit. Then you can shitpost. Or shitpoop. Idk

[cryptidmonger-blog]

Get a lobotomy

[delirialsoul]

I do not condom surgery

[cryptidmonger-blog]

Surgery on a grape

[delirialsoul]

@biggest-gaudiest-patronuses @masochist-incarnate @thebootydiaries @the-german-russian-skinwalker how do I become a shitpost god?

[eternal-fractal]

Eat shit. Then you can shitpost. Or shitpoop. Idk

[cryptidmonger-blog]

Get a lobotomy

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

my earliest memory is of throwing up on my own knees

mine’s throwing up on my preschool teacher’s lap

[cryptidmonger-blog]

My earliest memory is of me at 4 drinking a whole bottle of cheap perfume

[beautifulandscary]

I wanna know what people assume about me because of my tumblr.

[telvi1]

Put an assumption in my ask. I’ll confirm or dispute it. I’m not gonna be mean or anything, I’m just very interested. You can go anon if you want.

[cryptidmonger-blog]

I'm looking into becoming a forensic photographer, and I was reading this article that had this picture as it's header and I haven't stopped laughing since

"I know you're dead but this makes me happy so say 'cheese'!"

[newtgeiszler]

people are probably gonna exist for a very long time after global warming is irreversible but imagine being in the year 3019 and reading a history book and learning that your ancestors had every power to stop the world from being a shitty hell dimension but they didn’t because short term money making was more valuable to them

[guy]

does anyone have like ten thousand dollars they don’t want

[hydro-homies]

“YOU ATE MY SALMON, YOU LITTLE SHIT”

[powerburial]

ahhhh!!! 400 devils!!!! just kidding

[k-venice-666]

don’t ever scare me like that again

[padme-amidalas-will-to-live]

don’t ever arouse me like that again

[besnouted]