while plotting on how to get back at your family for years of competitive family holiday dinners, you finally concoct a plan with one key detail, your best friend.
warnings: lowkey toxic family dynamics, self-doubt, angst (with a happy ending), partially proof-read
back to m.list <3
this was made for @emmiesoverthemoon and @makeitworse secret stay event for @hyunjincanraptoo. i am SO sorry this is late, work and life have been absolutely kicking my ass recently but i hope you enjoy and happy holidays! thank you emmie and attie for organizing this and helping me get back into the swing of writing <33
wc: 2.1k
sc count: 2
The holidays always seemed like a competition between the members of the family. The eldest two cousins comparing salaries, explaining how they were “working their way up the corporate ladder”, the youngest of the cousins showing off flashy phones or gaming consoles. It all seemed so shallow, avoiding the true meaning of the holidays; the togetherness. After years of coming with nothing to show off but an “in progress” oil painting, you decided that this would be the year to show off.
It started with a simple text, one you knew Hyunjin would maybe laugh at but not something he would call you insane over.
At 9:36 the next evening, the text that he had arrived back to the dorms finally hit your phone screen, lighting up the display as you chipped away at a painting that you swore would be the death of you. And with a quick drive down the much too noisy Seoul streets, you stood in front of his dorm door, coffee in hand. As soon as your knuckles rapped on the door, a casual looking Hyunjin padded his way to it with sock clad feet, a tired, yet excited smile on his face as he pulled the wood open.
“About time you got here.” He chuckled lightly, wrapping his arms around you, one around your shoulders, the other around your waist. The hug was brief, but it still held that home-y feeling it had since you were kids together, playing on the small playground a short walk from your childhood home. “Well someone requested a coffee from halfway across the city that I had to go and get first.” You replied, displaying the coffee to him like it was your newest work of art, him accepting it like a school kid getting a piece of candy.
“Do you want a fake boyfriend or not?” He jabbed back, pulling you into the dorm and closing the door behind you. The dorm was a quiet space for him and Changbin, the newly-wed dorm as you had seen Hyunjin’s fans say online. And while you couldn’t quite argue with the fact that the two bumbling, overgrown boys did act like husband and wife, it was still puzzling to you how his fans had such a good glimpse into their private day-to-day lives. Further into the livingroom, you both took a seat on the couch, plush fabric of Changbin’s choosing nearly swallowing you whole.
“Okay so we need a plan, right?” Hyunjin started, straw between his lips as he sipped on the sugary coffee in his hands. “Right. I was thinking we could show up maybe just a bit late. I’ll walk in, greet everyone like normal and act as if everything is casual. Then, you come in.” Hyunjin nodded, eyes glued to your face like an enthralling movie. “Okay, drama, I love it. Tell me more.”
“My cousin is going to be ranting and raving about her wedding in April, apparently she booked this crazy expensive hotel for the entire weekend in Jeju, so we need a way to upstage her.”
“Say no more. I already have a plan.” Hyunjin’s expression moved slightly, in a way you hadn’t seen before. Sure, seeing him plotting wasn’t anything new, but this expression… It seemed almost as if he was holding back saying something but you weren’t sure what. “Spill, what’s your plan?” You asked, your tone as normal as you could muster with the small bit of unease that has crept into your stomach at the change in his eyes.
“You need to be surprised for it to really have that “wow” factor! Come on, you’ve seen my acting on music video sets, I got this!” All you could do was nod because, yeah, he was right. The times you had seen him snap into this persona while under the lights and camera lenses for the few times he had actually convinced his managers to let you on set, it was something of a work of art. “Alright, I’m trusting you, Jin.”
After a few more hours of laying the ground work, small details to really sell the performance, it came time for you to go back to your cave of unfinished works. “I’ll pick you up at two on Saturday, we’ll head to my family’s from there.” You spoke, sliding your shoes back on, shouldering your jacket to brave the short walk back to your car. “I’ll be ready, girlfriend.” He held out the last syllable for an extra second, making the word sing-song and floaty. And, much to your better judgement, your eyes snapped up to meet his, the word sounding like a new language coming from his lips. “Let’s save the method acting for Saturday.” You say, clearing your throat as the door opens in front of you, exposing you to the brisk cold that had very quickly fallen over the city.
“See you!” Hyunjin chimed, as if he hadn’t just shocked you to your core, and you were off, back to normalcy.
Saturday came much faster than you had expected between your regular office job that, you swore, stole some of your creativity everyday, and the regular hustle of the holiday season. Dressed in something ‘casual but still elevated’ because, according to Hyunjin, you couldn’t show up in your regular paint splotched jeans if you were truly playing the part of his girlfriend, you loaded the small gift boxes wrapped for family into the car.
You picked up Hyunjin without fault and made your way to the house where the party was being held. “Okay, quick recap before we go in. We’ve been together for 9 months, they already know you from when we were kids so no need for a ‘how we got together’ story. I’ll walk in first, you wait two minutes and then walk in through the front door. Got it?”
“Got it.” Hyunjin nodded, that same plotting smirk marking his lips once again. Too much was riding on this, so you decided to bury the confused feelings that resurfaced from the night this whole act was planned and collected the gifts, making your way inside.
Through the doors, the noise was already suffocating. Your aunt was droning on about her oldest son who had just made it into an elite program for one of his sports, your little cousins screamed from the livingroom, chasing the poor family dog around the couch. Meekly, you said hello to those family members that you passed and placed the gifts under the tree. Taking a seat by the fireplace, you waited, eyes trained on the front door. And as if on queue, Hyunjin walked in with a bright smile and a huge hug for your mom.
“Oh, Hyunjin! What a surprise! We didn’t know you’d be joining us this year!” Your aunt fawned over him, his smile polite but his eyes searching for you, and as soon as you were spotted you fell into place at his side. “I thought I'd invite him this year because… we’re together!”
As soon as the words left your lips, a hush fell over the family. Your smile soon turned awkward as you spotted two of your cousins whispering to one another. As soon as it started, you regretted this plan with everything inside yourself.
Throughout the party, jabs at your character were thrown at you in the shape of questions about your ‘relationship.’
“When did you guys decide to get together?”
“His life is so much more different than yours, isn’t it?”
“Isn’t he super busy on tour?”
“How do you know what he’s up to?”
Clear disbelief that Hyunjin of all people would even consider dating someone like yourself. And maybe they were right. Maybe this plan was so stupid no one would even think about it being real. Quietly, you excused yourself.
As if a ghost in a house full with your family, you slipped out the front door, sitting on the steps leading up to the door with a sigh, the cold wind hitting your embarrassed flushed cheeks. Hyunjin was, as a fact, out of your league. Successful, multi-talented, absolutely gorgeous, millions of fans screaming his name on every platform. And you, his best friend from a life he had grown up from. Outgrown, maybe. Wetness gathers under your eyes, but you refuse to let it fall, sniffling back the feeling in the back of your throat, knees to your chest.
Quietly, the door behind you opened, the familiar heavy footsteps of Hyunjin sounding behind you. “There you are…” He spoke, voice softer, as if he knew just how fragile your ego felt in the moment. “Don’t worry about me Jin. Go visit, I know everyone missed you.” You quickly wiped at your eyes, the salty dampness soaking into the sleeve of your sweater.
“I’m okay here.” His voice leaves no room for argument as he sits down beside you, an arm gently placed over your shoulder. His touch is warm, a balm over the insults that had been thrown at you for the past few hours. Leaning against his shoulder, a breath leaves your lungs you didn’t know you were holding in, the warm hair turning to fog in the bitter air.
“I didn’t miss the comments they were making, by the way.” He finally speaks up after a while of sitting in silence. His voice makes your throat tighten, a mix of embarrassment and shame drawing up in your body. You shutter, pulling away slightly. “Hey, no. Don’t do that. Please tell me you don’t believe them.” Hyunjin turns his face to look at you, his eyes narrowed slightly, twinges of anger glossing over the chocolate of his irises. You only manage a chuckle, eyes only meeting his for a second before darting back down to the suddenly interesting concrete under your feet.
“Look at me.” His hand finds your cheek, his warm palm holding the skin in a manner that made your already flushed cheeks burn harshly. With a gentle tug, he forces your eyes to meet. “Do not believe them for a moment. In no world would I ever get such a big head that I would forget who pushed me to do all of this in the first place. It’s been you since day one.”
“I just can't help but feel like you’re embarrassing yourself by being here, being considered my date.”
A scoff leaves Hyunjin’s lips but there’s no venom or malice behind it. “Listen. Being around you could never be embarrassing to me. Around you, I am finally able to be me. Not some global super star or another face for some expensive brand. I just get to be Hyunjin. Your Jinnie.”
The air between you thins, eyes searching his, looking for any hesitation from his words, only finding warmth, honesty, behind them. “Jin…”
“No, stop, let me speak.”
“Every single time we are away from each other because I'm off on some other continent, wearing too many rhinestones and hairspray, I'm reminded why I do what I do. I’m reminded of middle school when you would sit with me for hours in the empty gym even after class let out just so I wouldn’t be alone while I danced. I’m reminded of every late night call when I felt homesick during my training, every time you told me to just hold on because I was going to make it big.”
He sucks in a mix of a breath and a chuckle, looking down for a moment.
“I’m reminded why being away is so hard.” His thumb strokes over your cheekbone. Slow. Reverent. Worshiping.
“You’re always my reason why.” He finishes. His lips holding this dorky, lopsided smile that he seemed to only hold for you. “Its always been you.”
The way he says those last four words steals the air from your lungs, holding still as if the moment would disappear into thin air if you moved too much.
“You’re such a dork…” You breathe, blinking back the tears that clung to your waterline and finally, as if it was exactly what he was looking for, a smile slowly forms on your lips. The exact smile that he begged the universe to see every day while thousands of miles away. The smile that could turn any doubt into clarity.
The smile he fell in love with.
“Can this dork… kiss you?” He asks, his voice barely a whisper, as if he too thought this moment would dissipate into thin air if he moved too suddenly.
He didn’t need to ask a second time as you finally bridged the gap, connecting your lips with his plush, warm lips, locking them together in a kiss that tasted like your uncle’s cherry pie and forever.
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