This is the whole game after a certain amount of runs.
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YOU ARE THE REASON
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@crystalzelda
This is the whole game after a certain amount of runs.
I’m about to save you thousands of dollars in therapy by teaching you what I learned paying thousands of dollars for therapy:
It may sound woo woo but it’s an important skill capitalism and hyper individualism have robbed us of as human beings.
Learn to process your emotions. It will improve your mental health and quality of life. Emotions serve a biological purpose, they aren’t just things that happen for no reason.
1. Pause and notice you’re having a big feeling or reaching for a distraction to maybe avoid a feeling. Notice what triggered the feeling or need for a distraction without judgement. Just note that it’s there. Don’t label it as good or bad.
2. Find it in your body. Where do you feel it? Your chest? Your head? Your stomach? Does it feel like a weight everywhere? Does it feel like you’re vibrating? Does it feel like you’re numb all over?
3. Name the feeling. Look up an emotion chart if you need to. Find the feeling that resonates the most with what you’re feeling. Is it disappointment? Heartbreak? Anxiety? Anger? Humiliation?
4. Validate the feeling. Sometimes feelings misfire or are disproportionately big, but they’re still valid. You don’t have to justify what you’re feeling, it’s just valid. Tell yourself “yeah it makes sense that you feel that right now.” Or something as simple as “I hear you.” For example: If I get really big feelings of humiliation when I lose at a game of chess, the feeling may not be necessary, but it is valid and makes sense if I grew up with parents who berated me every time I did something wrong. So I could say “Yeah I understand why we are feeling that way given how we were treated growing up. That’s valid.”
5. Do something with your body that’s not a mental distraction from the feeling. Something where you can still think. Go on a walk. Do something with your hands like art or crochet or baking. Journal. Clean a room. Figure out what works best for you.
6. Repeat, it takes practice but is a skill you can learn :)
I have been in EMDR therapy recently to help with past trauma and like 90% of the appointments are just this post. Which I thought was silly at first bcs I was like "well I know how I'm feeling, I feel bad" but man you have no idea. Literally JUST talking through whatever stressful thing I have going on at the moment and whenever I feel a Big Emotion stopping and acknowledging, naming, and sitting with it makes a huge difference. I've made more progress with my trauma and mental illnesses just doing this in a single year than I have in like 10+ years of therapy.
It might feel silly or pointless at first but stick with it, it really helps.
PRO TIP: "bad" "uncomfortable" "unhappy", anything with an "un" at the front is not actually naming the feeling. It's naming what you're not feeling, or how you feel about the feeling. Try to name what you are feeling, instead! This will give you more information about what the feeling is trying to tell you, so you can determine whether it's giving good advice.
The Validating step is a big one I'd like to tout the benefits of!
Especially for those of us with CPTSD or who are emotional abuse survivors. If you have trauma related to that, it's highly likely that you've been taught that your feelings are "wrong", "a burden", or "out of proportion" if not perfectly mid-line and peaceful. So, a lot of the time, we'll have a knee-jerk reaction to feel panic/shame/guilt just from identifying that we're experiencing things like anger, discomfort, wanting to stop/not do something, anything that needs action other than agreement/participation. We'll try to either pretend the feeling isn't happening - masking it, ignoring it, etc. Or, if we force ourselves to acknowledge it, there's this rush to fix it or stop it. To try and speed through the processing part so we can return to something less "abrasive" which therefore feels safer.
There is nothing wrong with feeling "bad" things. An emotion - ALL of them - is a reaction to a stimulus of some kind. You are mad for a reason. It might not be logical and as the OP says, it might not be proportional, but it's not incorrect. It is normal and human to get mad at things sometimes. Managing what you DO about the feeling is good, it's not a license to do whatever you want, but forcing yourself to work through it/get over it as quickly as possible isn't necessary. You don't have to feel bad just for having it.
Making myself validate that I am allowed to experience negative things and I'm allowed to take my time with them and don't have to "fix" them has been REALLY helpful in managing my CPTSD.
there’s something very beautiful about being able to try again tomorrow
I have been trying tomorrow for the past 3 years
and you still have tomorrow to try again
If you're having a private phone conversation with the phone off your ear, no headphones, and the speaker on in public, that's a public conversation now. That's an open invite, and I'm going to chime in if I have an opinion. This is now OUR disagreement about your boyfriend's spending habits.
True compassion and nuance is sometimes and often really fucking annoying and hard to do. And that's why it's hard. Compassion is as complex and difficult as people are. That's the point.
we can all agree that ACTUAL war criminals don't though, right?
No.
Actual war criminals need to face consequences, their victims deserve justice, AND they are still human. Human rights means all humans.
maomao and her dedication to never discovering anything about jinshi's personal life
fake idgafer final boss
every now and then I am reminded to my great chagrin that my mother is funnier than I am
🌾🌾🌾
Harvesting my wheat
Hehehehehe
Can I fucking help you?
people don't really get mad about millennials anymore. we have become the new gen x. people don't care about us anymore. like at most they feel a bit sorry for us. this is wild because ten years ago we were destroying the world
being the last one to send a message before the chat falls into sudden silence always feels like u just made the worst faux pas of your life and you go sorry guys was that weird and they're all like no sorry I was just looking at a leaf on tbe ground leaf.jpg like oh ok
I hate when a tiny stupid thing pushes you over the edge and makes you freak the fuck out because it makes you look like a completely irrational tar pit of a human being. Like no I promise this is warranted just maybe not about that specifically I swear I'm well adjusted. Come closer stick your fingers in my cage
@crystalzelda started baldur’s gate 3 last night and I got her permission to share her reaction to meeting astarion because it was fantastic
(please don’t post spoilers in response to this, she’s still early game)
I said what I said. The brush off? Me???
MOI????? I will have Papa throw him in jail, 10,000 years dungeon. Yeah, we’ll run in different circles when you’re in JAIL, prick!
Robby | 1.15 + text posts