Rambling – Knowing Me & You
*We are broken into fragments that must be discovered and uncovered and found out. We must be studied and learned, one fragmented bit at a time.*
Can you ever know another? Is it possible to know yourself? And will the discovery and uncovering of one’s fragments make them and object to be possessed by another? Can we ever really belong to one another? To anyone? To ourselves?
I’ve thought, for some time, that it is impossible to give yourself away without knowing yourself first. I believe it is important, in this life, to become one’s own.
So, I search and learn and discover. And challenge myself mentally, emotionally, physically, in order to determine what I am and am not capable of. People are constantly in a state of change, of growth. So, will working towards knowing myself lead to complete knowledge and possession of myself?
Will I always be running towards myself, never reaching my goal?
When I think about love and how you give yourself to another, I’m deeply puzzled. I just don’t think it is possible. How can I give myself to someone if I am never really my own?
If I have, in my possession, something that I treasure and hold dear and would never ever dream of parting with, would I give it to the object of my affection? I would. Because it was mine to give.
But would they care for it with equal fervor? Could they? If they had not kept it and polished it and molded it and shaped it completely? I’d hope so.
On that note, maybe they would have to steal it.
Now, if was never truly mine to give to begin with, who would a suitor ask for me?
From whom would they take it if it did not belong to me?
I can only think they’d ask God. Or prove themselves worthy of caring for and possessing His treasure. and if it is God’s to begin with, wont it always be? And wont the suitor be God’s also? Wont the he be of equal value and treasure to God? Yes. But then what would this person need to prove? Nothing? Everything? His devotion to God probably. His submission. The giving of himself to God who already owns him.
But we don’t always know where to find God. Or how to find God. Or hear Him. Does our journey through the noise prove our worthiness? I hope so.
I believe wholeheartedly that we all belong to God. And maybe, it is ourselves to whom we don’t belong. But our search for ourselves is intertwined with our search for Him. It is our act of worship. Perhaps it is how we can give ourselves to one another. It is the currency with which we trade one for another, me for you. With the promise that each will help the other learn and possess themselves fully, by allowing another to do so…how frightening, to trust another with one’s self!
God? Yes. Another? I’m not so sure…
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