Office Haiku @cubicle-haiku - Tumblr Blog

If you're not playing the game, and you're not the game, you're not in the game. #haiku

#be relevant

#the game

#be relevant #corporatespeak #cubicle life #the game

Herding cats

#cubicle life #office haiki

Once you lift the cover off the plate and start picking at the meal ...

#office haiku #cubicle life

Paint by numbers, coloring in another palette

#corporatespeak #cubicle haiku

The Hammer: we can wave it around and people will be worried, even if we can't hit anyone with it

#office haiku #corporatespeak

They're not SMART goals, but they try real hard. They get an A for effort

#office haiku #jargon #corporatespeak

This TED Playlist looks useful and helpful, but I have to find time to watch. Work smarter more about watching TED Talks on all of your favorite platforms: https://www.ted.com/about/programs-initiatives/ted-talks/ways-to-get-ted-talks

Some Assembly Required

This regulation is like an IKEA table. I looks good when you buy it, but then you get the instructions and you can't read them.

-- And there are extra screws that don't fit.

-- And no Allen wrench.

#managing metaphors #ikea #instructions #bad laws

For the lover in the office

Boss: We want the info in the report, but we don't want to highlight it. We want to slow-jam the data.

Pop the cork on the champagne and start drinking

We've finished successfully and we can relax.

Some Assembly Required

This regulation is like an IKEA table. I looks good when you buy it, but then you get the instructions and you can't read them.

-- And there are extra screws that don't fit.

-- And no Allen wrench.

For the lover in the office

Boss: We want the info in the report, but we don't want to highlight it. We want to slow-jam the data.

#jimmy fallon #statistics #damn lies

They’re not SMART goals. They try real hard, though, and should get an ‘A’ for effort.

Originally, a take off on the goal-setting SMART paradigm - effective goals should be Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, and Time-Limited.

Good idea in theory, but sometimes they miss the mark (or you just feel like deriding whoever is making you give direction to your wandering). They become Special Goals.

http://www.hr.virginia.edu/uploads/documents/media/Writing_SMART_Goals.pdf

#managing metaphors #smart goals #specific

There's no ‘FUCK YOU’ in T-E-A-M.

Originally, this reflected the need for team members to not be unnecessarily antagonistic or undercutting when working together. Other people found more.

#managing metaphors #teamwork #aggression #conflict

Engineers in a world of social sciences

The ones who want a frickin’ answer instead of a lot hopeful talk. Yes, it’s often the number people against the policy people.

#engineer #social sienc

Fenced in

“If they’re going to let us wander around inside the fence, we will, but I hope the fence isn’t electrified.”

You have a certain degree of latitude on your project, though you know your limits. You don’t know how severe the penalties might before challenging assumptions.

#managing metaphors #get back in the box #fences

Acronyms out of control

The acronym was ICAPRA, but people had forgotten what the ‘R’ meant. Was it Recovery? Remedies? Return?

#managing metaphors #jargon #acronym

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