𓍊𓋼𓍊

I'm the invasive species your ecosystem warned you about

[pinkcarabiner]

*clips my carabiner to yours so you don't get lost*

[roseartart]

John Kacere Assorted paintings, 1969–1990s

[doppelgender]

you have to grom it "but im scared" then grom it scared

[doppelgender]

[lakemojave]

"Please don't hit on anyone when we go out later you keep swearing chivalric oaths of fealty"

Me after one beer talking to a woman two inches taller than me: I could be yuor sword

[nycswebhead]

theres a new villain roaming around new york that has all the powers of a tapir. give me an hour or two im gonna go google what the fuck tapirs do ill let you know if we need to be scared

[nycswebhead]

OK it seems if you are fruits or berries this is really really bad news for you otherwise youre fine

[ripu2shreds]

Each and every morning ive gotta sharpen my Claws and my Fangs and ive Got to brush and Wash my Fur and Make it shiny and glossy Just for it to be blood matted And my claws and fangs Made Dull in the Evning becausee of Enemies like you.

[real-horse-facts]

let me eat oats out of your hands i promise i'll be niceys this time

[real-horse-facts]

i was lying. fingers fingers fingers fingers fingers fin-

[smalllfieldmouse]

red bull cigarette no food 5 hours thought i had a snack in my bag checked bag no snack vending machines dont take my stupid debit card physics class barely can stand upright zeroing in on big soda on my professors desk. If i was quick enough he would probably just think he misplaced it. I need 500 calories of corn syrup so bad

[mattpresents]

How do you know you're not Asexual? Maybe you just haven't met the right nobody.

[wizardjpeg]

mostly i do god knows what

[tony-the-tigers-juicy-armpit]

How quickly we forget the dangerous crow boy who’s job it is to destroy plastic

[zinesbycee]

(nods sagely) (nods basily) (nods rosemarily) (nods saltly) (nods star anisely)

[amoebasapph]

auto suggest bewilders me

[biglawbear]

No worries! I'm out walking

THE corpse

🚶🏻‍♀️🚶🏻‍♂️

[leidensygdom]

me of late

[excuse-me-thanks]

“i should take a walk for my mental health” boring, tired, i don’t even really wanna do it tbh

“i need to check the perimeter” i need to check the perimeter

[lezbianz]

this is for a part-time job as a barista

[inactiveaccount082024]

on an application to work the front desk of a hotel

[chasetriesagain]

If minimum wage you'd like to make, This ancient quiz you'll have to take.

Step right up, but be prepared. Those who fail are poverty-snared. Question One! If your labor proves most fruitful, Raking quarters by the bootful, Who should excess profits reap, Me the wolf or you the sheep? Question Two! If, by merit, you're made pope, What will be your fervent hope? Law and order justly paired? Or mercy and the guilty spared?

Question Three! If a train should leave Topeka Driven by a solar squeaker, How then should the cat behave? Give it milk or give it grave? Question Four! Do you have a criminal record?

[dragon-in-a-fez]

does the body ALWAYS have to keep the score? maybe we could just have a friendly game this time. maybe we can just have fun without putting numbers on it