[halfafreak-a]

wow, am not back and have not missed this but uh... considered it, peeked in and saw some shit so had to say something quick. i am sorry for anyone that has been hurt by ares (?? whatever he calls himself now. ) in my hearty support, i didn't see so many warning signs and people do deserve much better than that shit. and i am ashamed that hate has been sent in any of our names. that is not okay.

however, i am not ashamed for what i've written. i am not ashamed for what i've stood up for when it comes to writing fiction. i stand by it. if something is properly tagged, there is no reason you should be seeing it and being triggered unless you look for that. and it is not your fault for being triggered, but tag blockers all exist for a reason? so maybe... use them? and leave people the fuck alone. i miss writing and i miss my friends here but i do not miss being called things i am not. and i know i am not in the wrong for writing things that you could easily block yourself from. and if i ever do come back, that wont change. the links they posted still exist because i see no reason to be ashamed. i know what i am and i know what i am not. writing things does not mean you condone them and does not make you the things you write. that logic is flawed and anyone who believes it needs some serious help. and, while i have missed this place, i am so much happier and freer writing whatever the fuck i want elsewhere. if you want to still contact me, disco is available upon request but i don't know if i can promise a return. but if i ever do come back: fuck y'all and i'm gonna write what the fuck i want to in a tagged and consensual way with whoever will write with me should i return. bye guys.

[kiiteiru-a-deactivated20210721]

You guys know shaming criminals and not getting them the help they need but instead locking them up in frankly inhumane living situations is part of why people leave prison and just do the exact same shit, right? Trust me. Criminal shaming and dehumanizing them just makes them not care about anything anymore. So what if they commit the crime again and get caught? They’re not human to anyone anyway so it doesn’t matter. I’ve seen some of the conditions people here in Texas prisons endure. It’s not okay and you berating them when they’ve gotten the justified sentence is not okay. It only continues an abusive cycle. 

This is coming from a kid who’s teenage abuser didn’t get charged but instead underwent intensive psychiatric treatment and came out wholly apologetic and horrified by what he’d done to me. Our relationship is different now but he’s still in my life and guess what? It took therapy on my end too but i frankly love him. He’s still a part of my family circle. 

On top of that my oldest brother is in prison at this moment. He goes without dinner half the time Because guards picked him out to abuse and also the food’s questionably prepared. He had to fight and fight for months because the system refused to give him essential psychiatric and arthritis meds but they were fine with him being on constant suicide watch bc of the lack of meds. And this is at a ‘nicer’ prison. There’s broken AC in Texas heat. There’s no heat when the rare cold comes in either. He’s my brother. He’s done awful terrible things yet he’s my brother. He knows what he did was wrong. He fucking turned himself in. He’s going through enough hell without people online with no perspective of what he’s gone through to change screaming that he should die. I literally cannot comprehend how bitter and hurt you must be to do that. Or to do that to a person for writing an awful character trying to change. It’s a sign of emotional immaturity and all i can say is that i hope you find a way to heal and move on from this phase in your life. You deserve it. 

[cursedempathy]

and this is just you going off about FICTIONAL criminals so i can only imagine how true it is for the real deal.

[venuscommissions]

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[cursedempathy]

on a lighter note, my cat had her kittens on friday morning and it’s so cute. they’re all so precious and healthy!!! and she’s such a happy mama!! most of the time when i look at her in there with her kittens she just looks so blissed out and has barely stopped purring ( except for some of the time last night during the shit that stressed us out ) and man.... oh man... i’m so in love

[cursedempathy]

crestburned‌:

@cursedempathy liked for a modern!byleth starter!!

 it’s  maybe  the  third  time  he’s  done  this  ,  excluding  the  one  he’d  set  a  container  on  his  neighbor’s  doorstep  on  his  way  to  school  .  by  now  ,  any  nerves  at  knocking  on  the  other  man’s  door  have  long  since  faded  .  its  a  bit  of  a  struggle  this  time  around  ,  juggling  a  massive  plastic  domed  container  and  several  paper  plates  .  (  it’s  possible  he  went  a  bit  overboard  this  time  .  but  then  ,  midterms  are  coming  up  and  the  stress  just  bleeds  out  of  him  .  )

 in  the  end  ,  he  just  kicks  the  door  lightly  with  one  foot  ,  hoping  cam  is  actually  home  .

          cameron  still  isn’t  used  to  it.  having  visitors.  well,  a  visitor.  singular.  but  that  doesn’t  make  it  any  less...  unusual.  he  nearly  jumps  out  of  his  skin  when  he  hears  the  rapping  at  the  door.  pencil  scratches  against  the  notepad  and  brown  eyes  fly  to  the  door.  he  hesitates  for  a  moment,  but  recognizes  the  muted  emotions  from  behind  the  door  pretty  quickly.  another  strange  thing;  he’d  never  noticed  with  his  family,  but  he  can  start  to  tell  who  someone  is  by  how  they  feel  things  (  when  he  realizes  that  the  feelings  are  not  his  own.  not  always  an  easy  task.  )           “hello,  byleth.”  he  smiles  shyly  as  he  opens  the  door.  still  hasn’t  mastered  meeting  anyone’s  eyes,  so  his  own  are  downcast;  helps  him  notice  the  container  and  plates  easier.  he’s  not  unused  to  byleth  coming  with  some  sort  of  treat,  but  the  size  of  this  one...  “oh  --  wow,  what’s  all  this?  can  i  help?”

[cursedempathy]

stardustend‌:

          unfortunately for tymek, and the stranger he’s just flagged down, technology was still almost lost on him. he had one of the most basic phones he could find that still would let him do simple tasks. once the stranger hands it over to him, ty takes it, but quickly holds it back. “ sorry…how do you unlock it? ”

          “oh,  right.”  he  looks  embarrassed,  like  that  was  a  slight  on  his  part.  and  part  of  him  of  him  believes  it  to  be  true.  he  takes  it  back,  but  holds  it  so  the  stranger  can  see  and  demonstrates  his  very  simple  unlock  code  with  a,  “like...  that.  there  you  go.”  and  then  he  hands  it  back  over.

[cursedempathy]

cursedempathy‌:

arousal / pleasure ( obviously ) does count as an emotion cameron can feel, which has lead to some awkward moments. he usually tries to ignore it when it’s around him at this point but when he was younger and had a lot less control??? it wasn’t so easy. also, expanding on this, cam could get off on someone else touching themselves ( or someone else ) because he’ll be able to feel the pleasure that they’re feeling. he’ll never do it without explicit permission from all parties involved, though, as he already feels his powers are a huge invasion of privacy as is. this also makes him very easy to, ah…. tease.

[cursedempathy]

rmwtsn‌:

why  was  she  trying  small  talk??  she  could’ve  just  let  him  sit  down  ,  do  whatever  he  wanted  to  do.  but  ,  she  never  liked  to  sit  in  silence.  she  was  always  talking  when  she  could. “oh  THAT’S  cool.  a  park  is  the  best  way  to  get  some  fresh  air.”  lame  ,  lame  conversation  she  knows.  lips  pursed  for  the  moment. “oh  ,  i  was  just  going  for  a  walk. hope  to  see  some  animals  and  stuff.”

          he  just  smiles,  light  and  warm.  a  genuine  one  at  that,  prompted  by  her  awkward  speech.  at  the  knowledge  that  he’s  not  the  only  one  feeling  it.  it’s  even  more  genuine  at  hearing  she’d  hoped  to  see  animals.  it's  overly  honest,  and  feels  genuine.  and  it’s  nice;  she  seems  nice.  it  helps  him  relax  a  little.  cameron  hesitates  a  moment,  and  then,  “have  you  seen  any  good  animals?”

[cursedempathy]

youthblamed‌:

               “ what do you mean, i fell off of my — ” he looks to his right, where his broom should’ve landed by his side when he fell, and a crease settles between his eyebrows when it’s not. it’s an old thing, made by hand by someone who’s long dead now, one of the few things of value that he owns, an heirloom from the russian side of his family. but it has a mind of its own sometimes, with all the magic that’s built up inside of it from all of the people that have flown it over its lifespan. 

              he sits up quickly, despite the swimming in his head when he does — it feels like his brain was left behind on the ground for a moment — looks around himself and over his shoulder in the direction he’d been going. it doesn’t even occur to him that he’s landed on a grassy hill who-knows-where, and the other boy might not have a clue what he’s even talking about. ( and if he doesn’t, levi’s breaking some serious laws. ) “ wait, shit, where’d it go? ”

          fell  of  my  --           cameron  catches  that,  but  still  doesn’t  push.  it’s  none  of  his  business.  besides,  he’s  far  more  concerned  than  he  is  curious  about  just  how  the  boy  had  taken  the  fall  he  had.           “where  did  what  go?”  gentle.  patient.  brown  eyes  leave  the  stranger  for  the  first  time  since  he’d  stopped  to  help  and  he  glances  around  them  despite  having  no  idea  just  what  he  was  helping  search  for.  it  lasts  a  total  of  five  seconds,  and  then  his  gaze  is  back  on  the  stranger.  and,  because  he  realizes  he  has  not  actually  asked,  he’s  suddenly  muttering  a,  “are  you  okay?”

[cursedempathy]

i want.... stuff w/ cam in high school.... he was even worse back then ( if you can believe it )

[cursedempathy]

oldhearts‌:

@cursedempathy || cam&nadia

            “Ok – no, I am not the welcome committee and this seat is –” glowing eyes turn up as her head turns up to catch the eyes of a much more mousy boy than she’s used to around here. Oh. Well – that’s much better. ( Take a breath. Start again. Flash that fangless smile. ) “– I’m sorry did you say you were new here?”

          cameron  doesn’t  do  things  like  this  often,  and  he  hates  that  it’s  obvious.  nerves  are  high  and  the  emotions  oozing  off  of  every  individual  around  him  helps  nothing.  he  wishes  he  was  in  the  safety  of  his  home,  four  thick  walls  between  him  and  all  the...  noise.  but  that  would  defeat  the  purpose  of  agreeing  to  go  out.  he’s  trying  to  get  better  at  all  of  this.  having  to  actually  interact  with  the  people  isn’t  easy,  though.           “i  --  i  didn’t...  i  was  only  asking  if  i  could...”  he  stammers,  heart  hammering.  her  initial  beginning  has  his  anxiety  skyrocketing  all  the  higher.  “i  mean,  i  was  asking  if  the  seat  was  taken...  but...  but  it  is,  you  said,  so.  so  i’ll  just  --”

[cursedempathy]

honestly, in relation to that soft spoken post: probably over half the reason i still write anything taboo is to spite all the people that keep attacking me and telling me not to. sorry not sorry

[adivinegod]

adivinegod‌:

if you’re the kind of person who would constantly swarm someone you don’t like with images of their trigger, then please get off my blog. block me. go jump off a cliff. idc. bc i don’t want to associate with bullies who’d do shit like that. if you don’t like someone then block them and move on. be a goddamn adult.

also, if you’re the kind of person who would then make a “positivity blog” where the mascot of said blog is the same animal that triggers the person that was having those images sent to them as an attack, then you need to get off my blog too. you know what you’re doing. you can hate a person and not then go ahead and post things meant to send them into full-on panic attacks.

triggers are not a joke and if you don’t want anyone to use triggers as an attack against you, you shouldn’t use them on other people.

[rpchelpingtime]

A soft spoken but actually rather serious PSA for the RPC: 

Whilst I understand wanting to chase toxic, abusive and dangerous people from a safe community I think some of you need to take a small moment and remember that fictional content is a form of exploration and understanding.

Yes. There are gross people who fetashize, who use dark topics as a way to worm into things they shouldn’t. I understand that, entirely.

But whilst you’re all hopping on every blog who breathes something you don’t agree with, can we take a second to remember that it is incredibly common for survivors and mentally ill people to turn to dark, problematic or messed up fiction as a way to understand, work through, dissect and rationalise their abuse?

There are people writing Topics you don’t like as an outlet for their incredibly bad days and this instant demonisation of anyone who writes something you don’t personally agree with? It’s not creating a safe space, or a safe environment.

And the funny thing is, people do not owe you an abuse check list card for you to decide they’re abused enough to be allowed to write it. You have no right to demand someones trauma to validate your control over their content. How would you feel if someone asked you to prove your history in order to find an outlet for your abuse? If you truly understand then you’d understand why that isn’t alright. 

People will take advantage of dark fiction, I’m not going to argue with you. Except that people will take advantage of anything, childrens stories, safe spaces, the purest content you can imagine will be twisted at some point. Some people are absolute pricks about it. Some of its triggering, some of its uncomfortable.

Again, I get it. 

But you do not get to turn around and place your personal comfort levels onto everyone around you as a way of controlling your area.

Whilst some people cope through completely blocking out, turning from and needing no contact with their abuse (understandable) others need a fictional outlet to handle thoughts they can’t handle otherwise.

Writing fiction with dark, problematic content is a safe, taggable, block-able way for people to have an outlet. You’re taking a safe space from survivors on the off chance you’ll catch someone abusing the system. That’s not helping anyone, gatekeeping doesn’t fix anything.

Making your space safe for you is important but so is respecting other people’s. If someone on tumblr is a genuine danger, a proven danger, then contact law enforcement or report it to the appropriate authorities, they’ll decide from there. If however you are placing the lives of not real, not harm-able, not living fictional characters above the realities of real people? I think you need to sit down and ask yourself if you’re actually trying to help people or control your space.

Your trauma does not give you the right to dictate other people’s trauma.

Fiction is not real. Yes, it effects people in real time However just like it triggers you, it helps someone else. It’s your responsibility to be safe on this site, it’s parents responsibility to protect their children from finding or seeing that content (Adults deserve safe spaces also, remember that) and it’s the bloggers responsibility to tag and not take over.

I’m the last person to tell you to ignore dangers, what I’m saying is that if you’re actively searching triggering content as a way to force people to censor themselves for your contentment? You’re only harming yourself, that’s an incredibly dangerous habit.

That is a form of self harm.

So leave dark/problematic writers alone. There are people who abuse the system but you’re not the police, you’re not a militia who can actually prove anything, stop anything or change anything. Do you not think on what happens when people lump everyone together to find one needle? As someone in the mental health system I know what it’s like to loose help to people who are turning their nose up at maybes, ifs and potential takers.

Donate to survivors charities, go out and do marches, help REAL people instead of worrying about NOT REAL people.

Survivors who cope through fiction are as valid as survivors who escape through it, neither of us should be forced to stop coping. From one survivor to another: What makes your trauma more valid than mine?

If you have the time, please read the following links - be aware of heavy trigger warnings

An Explanation on dangers of Censorship  Staying safe online  Coping after sexual abuse The reality of dealing with abuse and fictional outlets Resilience and Trauma Theory of Adult Incest Survivors Assault and Rape writing power for survivors Real Survivors Discuss Coping After Assault (including dark writing) 

[silvertonguedaggermaw-deactivat]

 I’m also going to say this as an artist, a student of the humanities, and someone with a penchant for fiction that confronts rather than ignores tough subject matter:

 You don’t need to have a “survivor card” to be “allowed” to write anything.

 This isn’t presumptuous, it’s respectful of the fact that forcing an entire bloody society to stick their collective heads in the sand about matters that affect the people within it, is not going to change anything for the better. It’s just going to cause those issues to fester unspoken about, because everyone’s too ashamed to talk about it. Because everyone’s obsessed with being that pure, good community where nothing like that ever happens, to the point where any skeletons are kept locked firmly out of sight.

 It’s worth noting that there’s a long and storied literary tradition of using fiction to address social ills, as a way to critique the problems within a society and to raise awareness of ways in which things can be improved. This is an important and eye-opening facet of fiction, as not only does it allow social issues to be brought into popular discourse, but it also gives an opportunity to do so without anyone having to come forth with painful personal accounts.

 And also… the more taboo something is, the more fascination it garners. Like the cookie jar that’s placed tantalisingly out of reach of a child, forbidden things become all the more intriguing because you want to know why, or - as is often for me with my strongly antiauthoritarian leanings - you think that the individual or organisation withholding the thing is being patronising, nannying, and doesn’t think that you’re capable of making informed decisions for yourself. After all, there’s a point where someone who thinks that they’re “protecting” others from the world ends up stifling those they care (too much) about.

 Which, ironically enough, can easily become a form of abuse. It’s controlling behaviour. And more often than not, the “arguments” put forth consist largely of appeals to emotion, AKA: guilt tripping. More often than not, this incites me to anger and disappointment than feelings of guilt or pity; and whilst this isn’t particularly diplomatic, I don’t consider calls for censorship to be something worth tolerating. It’s fine to ask for things to be tagged, to look for ways to filter content that you don’t want to see - for whatever reason - because that’s you exerting a healthy amount of control over your own boundaries, and not impinging on the right of others to express themselves.

 Yes, there are cases where subjects that should be handled delicately have been treated with all the care of a rampaging bull, but that warrants critique, not an outright ban on all material of its kind. To censor it all would be to silence sympathetic and nuanced voices.

 The vast majority of interpersonal conflict-based fiction needs “problematic” characters doing “problematic” things for there to be a plot at all. Not everything should be the same fluffy interactions again and again, for that would get boring quickly. And even Man vs Self and Man vs Nature plotlines are likely to have the characters wrestling with their own inner demons. (which again, aren’t going to be all hearts and sparkles.

 In the end, all the censorship wank does is that it makes me want to reread män som hatar kvinnor again. (på engelska: the Girl with the Dragon Tattoo; which is a crime thriller that explores themes of dormestic violence, ableism, and institutionalised abuse) Spite: it’s a solid motivator.

[cursedempathy]

i keep promising to write and then having major mood drops bc of one thing or another lol, may not be around. if i am ill be slow.

[son-of-eden]

Please reblog this if you’re someone who would be interested in roleplaying polyamorous relationships.

As someone who is poly, there is very little representation of my relationship structure in media/RP, and that’s sort of frustrating. I would like to find more people to rp this type of relationship with.

[cursedempathy]

just sent a long and lovely email to the [email protected] email and now it’s time to write! does anyone want a short starter??? or for me to come at them for plotting??? also note... i’ll prob be working on a.... new blog :/ but i’m gonna do writing here this weekend i swear it >:/