im paid to be nice to you

i work two cutomer service jobs. This is where i plan to vent my fustration about that.

[writingpromptsforkate]

The villain gives their customary “join me and we can be great” speech. The hero accepts.

[couriers-mile]

“Join me, and we could rule the world together! Hell, the UNIVERSE! Why, with my vision and your raw power, we could–”

“Okay.”

“… I’m… sorry?”

“Well I mean you should be, you’ve been acting like an ass this whole time, but whatever, okay. I’ll join you.”

“You– wha?”

“Well I already can’t use my powers to rescue a kitten from a tree without being eyeball deep in Should Supers Be Government Regulated discourse. And selective media coverage that makes me look like a prick. And have you seen the memes? I’m done.”

“I–”

“And I got a tooth knocked out in a fight last week but I don’t get dental coverage for this gig. Or, you know. Income of any kind, livable or not. But you own a multi-billion dollar evil corporation so I assume there’s benefits?”

“Yes. There’s… yes.”

“So whatever, I’m in. Evil’s my middle name, or something. What’s our plan?”

“…”

“Do you… what, do you not have a plan?”

“Honestly no, I really didn’t think you’d be on board, I– I’m not sure how to proceed from here.”

“Talk it out over drinks on you?”

“… deal.”

[thelastvictorian]

YES

[talesfrom]

TalesFromRetail: You got it home...

I work in a liquor store. As with most stores that I’m aware of, if a customer or an employee busts a bottle in the store, we write it off as a comp to the distributor or as “lost product” or something to that effect. No big deal, accidents happen.

In my store, moonshine is a big seller. Tourists AND locals are crazy for the stuff. I had a lady come in and buy 2 jars. The transaction went totally fine and she left.

About 25 minutes later, the phone rings:

Me: liquor store and city How may I help you?

Lady: Hi, I was in the store a while ago and bought two jars of moonshine…

M: Yes ma'am?

L: I just got home and I dropped them in my driveway.

M: I’m so sorry to hear that ma'am!

L: Yeah! I didn’t even open them. Can I bring them back?

M: …I’m sorry?

L: I didn’t even open the jars. Can I bring them back in and exchange them?

M: Are the jars broken?

L: Yeah, they broke. But I didn’t even open them! There’s nothing you can do?

M: No ma'am. Had the product broken here, I could help. But you got it home. I’m sorry.

L: Well that’s just great! hangs up

To this day, I still don’t know where this lady’s logic came from.

Tl;dr: lady buys moonshine, gets it home, breaks it, wants to return it, gets mad when she can’t.

EDIT: I can’t spell

By: ColeELTH

[customer-service-hell-blog]

Once when i was in a petrol station a little boy came in with 2 bottle of milk that he dropped and busted on his way home, and the attendant swapped them out However milk is a fuckton cheaper than moonshine.

[dalishpariah]

we opened at 11 this morning. i watched an old man literally pry the fucking sliding doors open at 10:43 and stand there just staring into the empty store and my coworker & i were like sir. for the love of fuck

[mintzy]

I worked in a restaurant for while and a woman climbed past an A board sign, ignored the sign on a the door saying the opening times and trotted on in. When told we were not open she asked why the door was unlocked. My manager explained that it has to be unlocked when people are in the building to comply with fire regulations. Which lead to my favourite exchange with a customer: Woman: But there are no people in here. Manager: Madam. The staff count as people. Woman: That’s ridiculous. *Storms out*

[laysiaprincess]

“The staff count as people” has me dead

[fuck-customers]

Years ago I worked in a hardware store. There was a regular customer that would come in maybe twice a week. All the staff members recognized his truck in the lot and we’d all do our best to scatter so we wouldn’t have to deal with him.

So this old fart (mid 60s I reckon) comes in one day and his first step in the door is a loud WHOOP noise, almost as if to announce his presence. I manage to duck away and help another customer and avoid him.

He winds up getting one of our managers to basically escort him around the store for an hour and a half, getting super hung up on industrial strength water hoses and their appropriate warranties.

After his self imposed tour, he settles on a 70 dollar hose, pressing “ITS GOT A LIFETIME WARRANTY RIGHT? MEANING FOREVER?!” And we concede to him. He pays, he leaves.

Thirty minutes later, his run down ol Ford truck comes screeching into the parking lot like a bat out of hell, and he gets out with this mutilated water hose in his hands and he looks about ready to spit bees.

He walks in, throws this mangled and dirty mess of what was once a hose on my counter and shrieks “YALL SAID IT HAD A LIFETIME WARRANTY. I TOOK IT HOME AND RAN OVER IT WITH MY BOX BLADE AND NOW ITS RUINED AND I WANT MY MONEY BACK.”

In desperation, I deferred to the manager again who simply did not know how to handle the situation given to us.

He wound up throwing such a fit he got a full refund despite deliberately ruining his own purchase. Right after he walked outside he dropped trou and had himself a whizz in the middle of the parking lot.

To this day I’ve never run into anything quite as unique.

[customer-service-hell-blog]

By far my favourite trip advisor reviews are " this was nothing at all like spain!" Bitch, maybe thats because we're in the middle of bum fuck nowhere, Australia?

[spookyloop]

Some guy just came in to the store where I work and he stayed really close to the doors and kept eyeing where I was every now and then probably thinking I didn’t notice. Then suddenly he grabbed some incense from the table right in front of the doors and bolted out with a smirk on his face. He looked really proud of himself, especially since I wasn’t running after him and he knew he got away with it. Way to go dude, you just stole some free samples.

[gasstationdiaries]

I hope to God someone told him later “Dude….those were FREE.” I want to picture the look on his face being told that.

[fuck-customers]

I was 2 minutes late and my boss calls me to ask where I am. When everyone else is 30 minutes she doesn't care or call.

[customer-service-hell-blog]

I once got called 5 minuites before my shift was supposed to start to see where i was, because i am always so early

[dalishpariah]

we opened at 11 this morning. i watched an old man literally pry the fucking sliding doors open at 10:43 and stand there just staring into the empty store and my coworker & i were like sir. for the love of fuck

[mintzy]

I worked in a restaurant for while and a woman climbed past an A board sign, ignored the sign on a the door saying the opening times and trotted on in. When told we were not open she asked why the door was unlocked. My manager explained that it has to be unlocked when people are in the building to comply with fire regulations. Which lead to my favourite exchange with a customer: Woman: But there are no people in here. Manager: Madam. The staff count as people. Woman: That’s ridiculous. *Storms out*

[customer-service-hell-blog]

Foiled

So i recieved a call to update my references about a nursing job and the first thing they said was ' your reference shes your mum right' and im all like hahaha yeah I'll give you one from my hospitality job Not gonna tell ya shes my sister in law tho

[fuck-customers]

I work at coffee shop that sells no food besides pastries. We are located next to a pizza shop. One early afternoon a man came into our store and tried to order a pizza. When I kindly told him the pizza shop was actually next door he said “I know, but they’re closed”. I tried to explain that we don’t have pizza, reglardless of the pizza shop’s hours, and that I can’t just break into the shop next door to make him a pizza. He proceeded to yell at me for the “poor customer service”.

[waitress-struggles]

When all the tables are clear accept one, and the customer still chooses to sit there.

[fuck-customers]

i work at the golden arches, and we’ve never accepted 50s or 100s, and every time, without a doubt, when i tell ppl this, they start yelling at me about how:

“other [store name] accepts it!!!” (not true)

“ive done it here before!!!!” (also not true)

“how am i supposed to pay for my food!!?!?” like buddy pal theres signs on every door and window telling you we dont accept them okay this isnt a new policy and its 100% not my problem that you only carry 100s!!!

and 99% of the time, after they’ve yelled at me for a solid 5 or so minutes, they pull out a 20. like. dont yell at me bc you’re too lazy to go to the bank to break your bill!!! your entire order costs less than $10.00 and its not my responsibility to provide you with small bills lmao bye!!

[customer-service-hell-blog]

Things you will be shocked to learn aren't actaully a servers responsibility #1

Cleaning up your brats spilled juice after your dumb ass took the lid of the cup!

[customer-service-hell-blog]

New Years Eve

So in New Years we sat 150 people with 4 waitresses. And douchebag on trip advisor said 'it would be nice if service staff put in a little more effort' Fuck you mate, we were so busy i wanted to cry and this was at the end of a week from hell. I hope you step on a lego.

[obviousplant]

So, like, 11pm?

[customer-service-hell-blog]

Trip advisor be like: The resturant was so busy, they need more staff on! It's busy we already have ALL the staff on. Pull your head out of your ass and live in the real world for a moment please. Like where the hell are we supposed to get these magical "extra staff" from?

[customer-service-hell-blog]

People really don't have a consept of how much waitresses really have to do. Like if it takes a couple of minuites for us to get you your menus it because we are busy. Like people can excuse a 50 min wait on food but complain because the waitresses are busy. Who do you think made the wait? ( tip its the waitresses). Like at 7.30 there is always the second rush of people coming in and then heaps of food coming out and a ton of drinks that need to be made. Plus tables to be cleared to seat the new tables and we only 4 waitress in the whole place. It just so fustrating that people think that we don't get to them quickly on purpose. We only do what we can.