Unpretty things @cutcanniecut - Tumblr Blog

They should invent a new kind of Being Alive where it's not painful and it doesn't hurt constantly and actually feels worth it and you're happy for more than a few hours at a time

disgustinggf

getting better but also becoming worse. u wouldn't get it

chasing-perfection26-deactivate

Me: *hates existing and goes to bed*

chasing-perfection26-deactivate

Me: *hates existing and goes to bed*

does anyone else do the avpd thing where the more you like or care about someone, the more you subconsciously avoid them way more than you avoid other people (to the point of not even looking at them)?

because i do and i’m constantly terrified that the people i like and care about the most are going to think i hate them because my brain won’t let me act like i like them or engage with them at all. and it kills me that it’s not even a stretch for them to think i hate them because yeah, if i’m smiling at and even having little chats with other people but i can’t even look at them, it sure does look like i hate them, doesn’t it?

but it’s not like i’m making a conscious choice to avoid them or act cold toward them, it’s just an instinct that i don’t really even notice i’m slipping into again until it’s too late. in the moment, it feels just like my usual avoidance and it’s only once i’m with other people again that i realize how much of an asshole i was.

aavpdyapping

it fucks me up so bad that thinking you're the scum of the earth can lead to you acting like a Bad Friend. my avoidant behaviours can easily come across as arrogantly, or laziness, or uncaring-ness. like god

ihopeucomehomesoon

i don’t feel like an adult and i don’t feel like a real person and i don’t feel like i have autonomy or agency in my life although i’ve made every decision of my free will