Cutie-Syakeko-chan is here (≧∇≦)/ @cutie-syakeko-chan - Tumblr Blog

You don’t need to overcome your disability or mental illness to be “worthy”.

There’s a lot of focus on people “defying the odds” and showing that their disability “can’t hold them back”.

But here’s the thing... sometimes your disability does hold you back. Sometimes, no matter how much you want to, you can’t do some things.

And it’s okay. You’re still worthy.

#reblog

omg i've been a fan of ur art for years!! i didnt know u were still active but im glad u are! do you have a discord?

Wow, really ? That definitely makes me happy ! (//ω//) And yes, still active, but not as much as I'd like unfortunately lol I do have a discord but generally I prefer to not share it.

(Also, sorry, I feel bad to have taken so long to reply, IRL has kinda been kicking my ass ^^')

#ask reply

socrateslasgalen

Repeat after me:

It is OKAY to have content preferences and to be uncomfortable with certain ships or topics, controversial or not. It is OKAY to distance yourself from such content and block certain tags or creators.

It is NOT OKAY to actively hate and harass real people for creating content of fictional characters that features things that make you uncomfortable.

triskhellion

#reblog

longlostdiaries

I don't know who needs to hear this but:

-"it only hurts a little" is still pain

-"I can ignore it" is still pain

-"I can cope with/manage it" is still pain

-"it's bearable" is still pain

-"I can push through it" is still pain

-"it doesn't hurt that much" is still pain

-"it doesn't stop me from doing x" is still pain

You don't need to be in agonizing pain to be in pain.

#reblog

justmydrawingsandfandomstuff

20 questions for fic writers

Thanks to @the-bar-sinister for inviting mutuals to answer these ^^ (I'm just posting it here since it's my fandom blog)

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

As of now : 26 (without counting those of mine I translated in french). 20 for OMORI & 6 for Cult of the Lamb. Plus 9 OMORI fics translated.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

As of now : 475 908 - 44 500 that is just translated works. So actually 431 408.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Mainly OMORI & more recently Cult of the Lamb.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Other kinky situations, BONUS, AU & more. (875 Kudos, Compilation of oneshots & requests, multiple ships)

Omori fanfic without a title cause I can't find one. (338 Kudos, ☀️🌻🏀🎀, My first ever fanfic, I'd advice to read the rewrite instead)

And so, he'd wait. (314 Kudos,☀️🌻, Yandere/Yandere, Trigger warnings in End Notes of each Chapters)

I already know they don't need me... (226 Kudos,🔪☀️ + 🌻🏀 ➡️ ☀️🌻🏀🎀, Angst with a Happy Ending)

Exploring kinks together. (204 Kudos, ☀️🌻 + ☀️🎀 + ☀️🌻🏀🎀 as Sex Friends + Minor 🍳🎹 & 🎀🍭 + Skippable ☀️🌻🏀🎀🍳🎹 as Occasional Sex Partners, Has a prequel)

All OMORI but here's a little top 3 of my CotL fics by kudos :

And what is the point in playing such a sick game ? (123 Kudos, Oneshot, NariLamb)

More interesting as a mortal than as a God ? (106 Kudos, Multi-chapters, NariLamb ➡️ Aym/Baal/The Lamb/Narinder + LambLeshy + LeshyCat)

When will you marry me ? (82 Kudos, Oneshot, NariLamb, First CotL fic !)

5. Do you respond to comments?

I try my best to, even if I can be slow and my replies are usually not wordy. Sometimes I just really don't know how to reply so I don't.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Hmm...I only write happy ends so...maybe a few oneshots (very few) in "Other kinky situations, BONUS, AU & more." ?

My hanahaki chapter might have a more bittersweet ending note, maybe ? (☀️🌻, kinda unrequited feelings but it's imply that it won't be for long...and a part 2 is in the work that confirm it becomes mutual)

Or the part 1 of my Twins AU chapter ? But part 2 & 3 make it all fine so... (🔪☀️🌻 but part 1 focus on the 🔪☀️)

There's also the part 1 of the one where Omega|Basil is assaulted by random alphas, I guess ? But part 2 is all about his lovers comforting him. (☀️🌻🏀🎀)

Again, at worst, my works end on a hopeful note and it's implied that everything will be okay. (or there's another part where things goes well)

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Again, I only write happy ends so it's a little hard to say...I guess all my Mari lives AU ones ?

Is it normal to have a crush on three persons ? (☀️🌻🏀🎀 + Minor 🍳🎹, Oneshot)

(10/31 - HALLOWEEN) (☀️🌻🏀🎀 + Minor 🍳🎹, Oneshot)

Nothing really had changed. (☀️🌻🏀🎀 + Minor 🍳🎹, 6 Chapter + 3 Extras)

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Sometimes but rare enough. I usually delete comments if they pass the limits (insults, slurs, death threats, suibaiting,…)

I don't really mind people stating their opinions as long as it stay polite and don't pollute the comments too much.

9. Do you write s.mut?

YES!! I try to include it in a natural and casual way, especially in multi-chapters fics, because that's what I like to read. It's part of life so it's only natural that it's also part of the characters' life.

I'm aroace & both romance- and sex-repulsed so I'm a little picky with what I like and writing those (romance&sex) can be a little bit of a challenge sometimes.

10. Do you write crossovers?

I never did and don't plan to in the future but you never know. Probably not though, not really my thing.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not by someone else. I translate my OMORI fics in french little by little myself. It's my first language but somehow writing is easier in english ?

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Nope, and I'm not sure I could.

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

Well, outside of poly ships (cause I really can't chose between those), I guess Sunflower ? It became such an OTP, that I feel genuine distress if I try to read an OMORI fic where they're explicitly not together.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

None. Unless something happens to me, I will finish all of them even if it takes me years :)

16. What are your writing strengths?

Um...I've been told that the way I write the characters dynamics is good ? I dunno, if there's some of my readers that see this and want to let me know what they think is my writing strengths, go ahead !

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Beside the way my disability mess with my ability to write so much that I need to use text generation (NovelAI) as an assistive tool ? I dunno, that's kinda the bigger one (￣￣|||)

Translating thoughts into words is pretty hard for me so...yeah.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I think I would only do it for a language I can speak well enough to not mess up too bad ?

19. First fandom you wrote for?

OMORI in 2022 <3

The need for more Plural|Sunny fics compelled me ! (It's canon, you can't change my mind)

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

Oof, tough choice. I love all my fics quite a lot and I can't really chose one so...

And so, he'd wait. (☀️🌻, mentioned before, I'm quite proud of this one and I love the Yandere/Yandere Unhealthy but Happy relationship going on there, someone once described it as the "healthiest unhealthy relationship" they've ever seen and...well I guess it fit lol)

It wasn't like things couldn't have been different... (☀️🌻 + ☀️🏀, Short: 4 chapter, Angst with a Happy Ending, the whole "I let my chance pass and now he's with someone else" but with a polyamorous resolution~, I also love the discussion between Polly and Basil in the last chapter <3)

Always there for you, always loved you. (🔪☀️ + ☀️🌻 ➡️ 🔪☀️🌻🍉 + Minor 🎀🍭, Not completed but I really have a soft spot for this fic, I always write Sunny and Basil as autistic but in this one I feel it's the most obvious, also the 🔪☀️🌻🍉!! I love that ship so much)

The door may be locked, but the window isn't. (☀️🌻 + ❓, Soft Yandere|Basil who wasn't involved in Mari's death here, Not completed but again love the Unhealthy but Happy relationship going on there, the...almost wholesome if you don't think about it vibe)

They've been brothers for millennia, why would that suddenly change now ? (The NariLesh oneshot !! Who became a twoshot but shh...I just really love the whole polycule aspect in this one, the NariLamb moment is so cute, the LeshyCat with Thory playing matchmaker, Leshy comparing Nari's size to the Lamb lol)

Also a bunch of oneshots like the Basil front while visiting Basil. (Basil/Basil) or the Solo-bloodplay & Phone sex. (Basil/Sunny) or the Headspace|Basil fucks Sunny's eye socket. (Headspace|Basil/Sunny) (A lot more wholesome than you'd think when seeing the title, I promise) or Transmasc|Ace|Sunny part 1 & part 2, or...!

Aaand I'm not nearly social enough to even have someone to tag so anyone who's reading this and wants to do it can consider themselves tagged (⌒‿⌒)

#from my fandom blog #about my fics

justmydrawingsandfandomstuff

🍱 Do you read your own fics?

(Sending this myself, because why not ? I wanna talk about my fics. If no one send more, I'll just do it myself again lol)

I do, I read and reread them often. I mean, there's a reason I made them so very self-indulgent lol

I have a lot of fun reading them, and even getting excited about how I wrote this or that. After all, I only put stuff I love reading about in them ^^

Though, when I read the older ones I often can't help but think about what I'd do differently if I were to write it today. Which is why I ended up rewriting my first fic, I wanted to be able to read a better version of that story and...well, it's very obvious that it's my first ever fanfic, damn, does the writing of the first chapters is bad.

#ask game #from my fandom blog #about my fics

lifeafterpsychiatry

Friendly reminder that you don’t have to aim for a normal life.

You’re allowed to aim for a stable one. You’re allowed to aim for a fulfilling one. You’re allowed to aim for a meaningful one. You’re allowed to aim for a happy one. You’re allowed to aim for a manageable one. You’re allowed to aim for a sustainable one.

Yes, even when that means following a different road than the one most people walk. Yes, even when that means going in a wildly different direction than the one society expects and pressures you to move towards. Yes, even when it means disappointing society, other people or even yourself.

Living a normal life doesn’t have to be your goal.

#reblog #positivity #mental health support

steakandcheeeese

Lmao you’re an adult, you shouldn’t be using the word squick. Use trigger. Use your grown up adult words to explain how you feel instead of leaning on a cutesy uwu term that no one outside of tumblr uses. It’s embarrassing.

Idek if this is serious or ironic honestly

steakandcheeeese

#like...why use this baby word when you can just say how you feel about it

Found this in the original post tags and I just... SIGH

Here’s the thing, anon. Squick isn’t just ‘I don’t like this’, it’s ‘I think this is gross and it makes me deeply uncomfortable but I pass no judgement on those who enjoy it, because I acknowledge that everyone is different and those same people may have the same visceral reaction some of the things I enjoy’ and was originally made popular in the kink community.

So yeah, if you want to say that every time you come across a trope or whatever you find icky then go ahead, say that every time.

Also, this term dates back to Usenet in the early nineties, so sure, go off.

sugarfey

This frustrates me so much because squicks and triggers are fundamentally different things and as someone with PTSD, the distinction is super useful!

Squicks are things I find personally gross but may not be gross to someone else. They don’t upset me or provoke my PTSD, they simply do not pop my corn. Example: Omegaverse. I don’t like it, it makes me uncomfortable and I’m not going to read it, but if you like it, you do you.

Triggers are things which directly provoke my PTSD. This means that my triggers may seem completely normal and innocuous to someone else, because my triggers are so personal and intrinsically linked to a specific event in my life. My reactions to these triggers can include panic attacks and flashbacks to this traumatic event. Sometimes being triggered can affect me for several hours or even days.

Describing something as either a squick or a trigger allows me easily establish the difference in my potential reaction to something without having to go into painful detail about why bodily fluids might make me back button quickly but poker games might leave me a crying wreck.

oopsabird

Making this distinction, and having a specific word for something that is not your slice of pie, but also not an actual psychological trigger, is also REALLY important for making sure that the word “trigger” can retain its original, specific, purposeful, and collectively understood clinical meaning (both inside and outside online fannish communities).

If we encourage everyone to lump things that just make them slightly uncomfortable or simply aren’t to their taste in under the word “trigger”, it actually dilutes the meaning of the word. It makes it harder for us all to, for the most part, collectively agree on and understand what exactly is being described when the word gets used.

And that destruction of shared precise definitions is a problem! It is really useful to have the communal language to be able to clearly and quickly delineate between “this grosses me out, no thanks” and “this is going to set off a trauma episode, rattle my brain, and probably throw off the rest of my day/week as a result” while also maintaining your privacy, and to know that you will be understood in what you are saying. Not having it is actually detrimental to the effort of making our communities safe and navigable for people living with trauma. Which is a goal that is much more important to me, personally, than the idea of not being “cutesy” (a word which in this case which sounds a lot like it’s being used as a euphemism for “cringe”).

(Also, one has to wonder if people told Shakespeare he was being childish when he made up entirely new words that are still widely used in the English language today...... 🤔)

mumblingsage

My understanding is that “squick” was also created to avoid using more judgmental terms like “gross” or “disturbing”--like yeah, I do find X kink gross or disturbing, but that’s my personal feeling, not an objective fact about the world, and if I’m explaining to my friend who is super into X that I’d prefer they leave it out of the story they’re writing me in the fic exchange, I want to use politer language!

“Squick” does sound silly, like onomatopoeia, but I think that’s part of its role--it’s a word that defuses if, again, you’re saying something squicks you in front of an audience that may include its connoisseurs. When I say I’m squicked, I’m clearly not getting onto a high horse of dignity and moral righteousness. At the same time I’m not being so indirect for the sake of politeness--”oh, it’s not my favorite thing, I’m not sure it works for me, I haven’t found a fic about it that clicks for me”--that someone could misunderstand how much I do not want to see it.

ruffboi-mags

And, to reiterate, it is a grown up word made by grown up nerds in the 90s so if you think it was somehow born on and limited to Tumblr I'm going to need you to actually do some fandom history research before you ever speak authoritatively again about anything fandom-related or adjacent.

littlethingwithfeathers

I love and deeply miss the term “squick” and really want to see it brought back. It allows dislike for its own sake and without judgement. It’s polite, gentle, and has an air of “you do you.” A squick is not a trigger. Triggers are related to trauma. You’re allowed to not like things and not have them related to anything other than just finding them unpleasant. And that aversion can be strong! That’s okay! I really don’t like watersports. Like, gag-reflex levels of aversion, but it’s not triggering. I just really don’t like it. I feel like we’ve lost the right/ability to just... quietly not like things and move on with our lives. Not everything is for everyone, and you don’t need a reason to not like something. Just politely and quietly excuse yourself. No need to draw attention, and if someone asks you why you just say, “No, it squicks me out.” No judgement. No narrative necessary.

lilykep

There is a sad trend of trying to make everything you personally dislike morally reprehensible in some way to justify your dislike of it. You're allowed to just not like something for no real reason. You do not have to justify why you dislike something, and the word "squick" is perfect for that. It say "look I really really don't like this thing, but it's ok if you do" and that is useful.

ruffboi-mags

I think the biggest problem is that a lot of these kids are VERY into the whole fandom purity culture thing, so they actually DO want to make it out to be morally reprehensible, and they DON'T think it's ok that other ppl might be into it.

neil-gaiman

Cheerfully using “squick” since 1992, because it means a specific thing and other words do not mean that thing.

#reblog

genderqueerdykes

anyone of any gender or identity can use whatever pronouns they want. trans men can use she/her, trans women can use he/him, nonbinary people don't have to use they/them or neopronouns, genderfluid people don't have to alternate pronouns, anyone can use they/them, it/its, ze/hir, xe/xem or neopronouns, cishet people can use whatever pronouns they want. anyone can use whatever pronouns they want

pronouns are not locked or tied to genders. destroy the binary in your mind that dictates that pronouns have an assigned gender, presentation, or identity. they don't. the only thing a pronoun set means about you is that you like to use those pronouns. have fun, be yourself

#reblog

irrealisms

tired of medication positivity posts that assume everyone has a positive relationship with medication

here’s to people who don’t take medication that their doctors want them to take. here’s to people who get marked noncompliant. here’s to people who get sectioned or hospitalized bc they won’t take their meds. here’s to people who self-medicate w nonprescription drugs. here’s to the people in withdrawal. here’s to the people who would rather deal with their symptoms than medication side effects. here’s to the “treatment-resistant” people who have never found medication that helps at all. here’s to the people who are only on meds nonconsensually. here’s to people who refuse meds for “irrational” or “stupid” reasons. here’s to people for whom taking meds is a trauma trigger. here’s to people who are disabled from past medications. here’s to people who are constantly being pressured into taking meds they don’t want and having to defend their “no” over and over again

yes, lots of people need their meds. yes, meds can be important. but don’t forget us

fuck everyone who calls us anti-science or anti-recovery. who says we are hurting other ppl by talking about our choices. bodily autonomy includes the right to say NO. even to medical treatment.

#reblog

cutie-syakeko-chan

I have to say that it can be a bit hard sometimes to have a trauma about therapy&co in the OMORI fandom, because there’s a lot of positive mentions of it. (I’m doing okay by the way, just wanted to rant a bit about it)

I once mentioned in one of my fanfics that I dislike how people often say that the characters need therapy, and I know that what people often mean is “I want them to get support and help” but for me, therapy is synonym with trauma and dehumanization so it hit different.

And sometimes there’s an insinuation that it would be impossible for the characters to get better without therapy and…no. It is possible to get better even without therapy. (or else I would be dead by now)

I have nothing against people who had positive experiences with therapy (that’s great ! I’m genuinely glad for for you) and/or headcanon/write that the characters get therapy and it help them. I deal pretty well with my triggers, either avoiding or interacting with caution, but it can be a bit frustrating to see some people kinda placing therapy on a pedestal.

I can’t really talk more about that subject because…well, it’s quite triggering, obviously.

Also, I really don’t think that sending them to a psychiatric prison would help them. (and yes, I’m calling them that because that’s what they are, you basically have no right there)

cutie-syakeko-chan

@evrenchan

It’s totally fine to reblog, and it’s definitely nice to see someone with similar feelings about that. Also I’m bad at putting things into words but yes, the whole acting like therapy is some magical fix and the x ship can only happen after therapy ugh…

It make me want to write a fic where after therapy they’re actually even more traumatized and it’s only with each other that they start to heal…actually I might do it if it doesn’t trigger me too much.

evrenstation

Replying to this very late because I took a bit of a break from tumblr, but please let me know if you ever did manage to write something like that because I’d love to read it ! It’d def be a well needed change of pace from the usual direction people tend to take things, and I think I’d find it very cathartic.

cutie-syakeko-chan

It’s fine, personally I more or less completely moved to aethy so I didn’t saw your reply right away ^^’

I’ll let you know if I manage to, for now I've jotted down some ideas for it and put it on my to do list. I’m not completely sure how to go about it yet, and I can’t think about it too hard because of the subject, but I’m determinate to try.

the-bar-sinister

Don't fall prey to anti-AO3 fearmongering!

I have been seeing more and more threads over the last few days that are either deliberately or unintentionally using the current AO3 drama to scaremonger and turn public opinion against the archive.

Words like

👉 ABUSE

👉 CHILD PORN

👉 CRIMINAL/ILLEGAL

These words are being used to short circuit your brain and force you into an emotional reaction before you have the information to come to a reasoned conclusion about the facts.

What is actually happening?

Archive volunteers (all AO3 labor is volunteered, there are no paid employees) were exposed to images of Child Sexual Abuse during a violent, terroristic attack by malicious actors against the archive. Additionally, malicious actors continue to attempt to upload links to AO3 containing images of CSAM hosted off site.

The allegations of abuse are that AO3 and its parent organization OTW did not sufficiently protect itself (its volunteers) from the images that were used to attack it.

⭐ AO3 is being accused of failing to sufficiently protect itself, and being called criminal for it. On an individual level rather than an organizational level we would call this 'victim blaming'.

⭐ There is a rumor that AO3 is somehow in criminal violation of the law and is coded in such a way that it cannot comply with the law.

⭐ This rumor is false.

AO3 has already clarified that they are confident they are not in violation of the law.

Yet rumors continue to spread and scare people away from using the archive.

This is potentially intentional!

This is potentially a campaign to fearmonger, sew discord, and shake support for the archive.

Please do not fall prey to fearmongering rumors, and investigate the situation for yourself.

#reblog

the-bar-sinister

I love seeing no hate for the people sending ao3 CSEM, or the people causing a false panic about it. Its all ao3 hate.

Its almost like they wanted a reason to hate ao3, so they take everything against it in the most alarmist way possible.

What a shock! It's almost like they're just jumping on an excuse to browbeat an organization they already hate!

People are deliberately misinterpreting and distorting the situation when they talk about it to make it seem like AO3 is in the wrong here.

"they mishandled CSEM"

the CSEM they were attacked with? the CSEM literally sent to them in an attempt to terrorize their volunteers and destroy the archive? that CSEM??

marshemillow

The response people are giving this situation is driving me INSANE. I'm literally about to lose my shit over it and I only just heard about the situation a few hours ago.

"Oh nooo the organization that runs on free volunteer work from the site that needs donations just to survive didn't properly protect their literal labor-of-love website from an actual violent malicious attack!!!!! They're evil!!!!! Lock them up for a million years!!!!!"

Like, are you fucking joking??????????

I cannot stress this enough; These idiots have been blaming the wrong people.

To those idiots; YOU ARE QUITE LITERALLY BLAMING THE VICTIMS OF A VIOLENT ATTACK INSTEAD OF THE MONSTERS WHO ARE ACTIVELY CREATING AND DISTRIBUTING REAL CSEM, POSTING IT EN-MASSE TO THE SITE LIKE A DOS ATTACK, AND INSTEAD OF RIGHTFULLY CALLING OUT THE ATTACKERS WHO ARE VERY BADLY BREAKING THE LAW, YOU DECIDE TO BLAME THE SMALL HANDFUL OF UNTRAINED VOLUNTEERS ON A POPULAR FANFICTION WEBSITE WHO WERE TARGETED FOR SAID ATTACK FOR NOT HANDLING THE ATTACK WELL ENOUGH.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?????

#reblog #this

phoebe-delia

Just so y’all know: I can’t speak for every other fic author but I can say that I remember when people leave me kind comments. I recognize your urls and/or usernames on AO3. I remember you and sometimes in writing my fics I think to myself, “Oh, I hope this person sees this because they liked x in this other fic I did.”

Not only that—I go back and reread comments when I’m feeling low. I look at tags and reblogs and asks and wish I could hold them in my hand like a note from a friend on an old, torn piece of notebook paper.

Your comments have so much more impact than you know. So thanks to those who use the comment section to spread love and encouragement. We appreciate you.

#reblog