respect james madison etc etc

a writer (every six months) || older than legal drinking age || also @cyanspica on ao3 multishipper || icon by @ovrarches

[eyyomayo]

doodling hamilton everywhere i go 👍

tldr i went to hang out w/ a few of my friends some days ago and doodled hamilton wherever possible LMAO

also i drew these without references cuz i didnt have internet so if he looks scuffed thats why 🥀 (i literally almost forgot his facial hair in the first one and i kept looking at it wondering why it didnt look like him, my friend had to remind me about it 😭😭😭)

we found a wall with a bunch of post it notes of fanart for a bunch of fandoms (lots of alien stage stuff, i was kinda surprised tbh-), so ofc we had to add a few of our own on there ^^ ( @comradesaladcat drew leon kennedy and @minilearnr added joe bart lol)

shout out to the restaurant i went to that used green paper for one of their menus. (which is what i drew this on) lol.

[pumkinet]

can’t believe last time i posted something here was months ago,,,, well have a Lafayette bc idk tbh

[jennicatzies]

Haven't drawn this guy in a hot minute

Idea from @d4lul-air

[youngleeks]

Excuse me Miss, I know it’s not funny But your perfume smells like your daddy’s got money!

You know I love a good musical with historical costumes. I gave them some summer sunhats and mixed up their gowns a bit.

[cyanspica]

hii! I have another head cannon for your DOAN fic lol. I've been thinking a lot about Hamilton's friend group, and the drama that went down specifically with the schylur sisters. Now I imagine it's still the same where Alex and eliza fell head over heels at first sight as it's been stated multiple times across the series. But I imagine Alex had a special connection with Angelica and she felt very strongly about him in return. I imagine he started to fall in love with the schylurs mainly for the family dynamic, they each reminded him of his mother and being a sibling/brother to someone again. I imagine that maybe Alex still cheated on eliza but based on how John doesn't know what happened, he didn't post about it on the school webpage or smth like the reynolds pamphlet. I'm think it might be that Alex and Angelica were caught together. Either having a conversation of possibly being with both sisters or them being horny college kids and making out, which really upsets eliza who I imagine has a more traditional mindset at this point in her life of having a husband and running a home with many kids and then going to school to be a teacher. (Also head cannon that if we see her in DOAN she's a teacher for all the kids in the community and uses Alex's essays n journals from a backpack she kept from chapter 1 (or that they somehow went back to NYC and miraculously his apartment building wasn't destroyed) to teach em how to write n read) One of the most difficult aspects of being a teacher since 2010 is being an open minded, non judgment safe space for students who are experimenting with their sexuality. I'd imagine for a 18-20 yr old eliza who came from a more privileged, uptown, senators-daughter lifestyle it'd take her while to be open to understanding that kind of lifestyle. Especially when it's someone that's so close to her circle. So for Alex to come to her and tell her he's having some poly feelings and possibly open up about his bisexuality she might have a more severe reaction sprinkled with misunderstandings...if Alex actually communicated which I'm imagining he never did and eliza just caught him and this all came out in a big fight. Regardless it takes a while for things to cool down between everyone and in the time it takes for Aaron to be added to the group and John and Alex to get together, eliza and Alex actually talk and come to an understanding that still allowed them to be in each other's lives and it prolly brought them closer together now that Alex is freely with a man and not constantly debating how to express himself on such a personal matter. I love how cagey you make Alex in this tho, like it makes sense bc its an easy coping mechanism but also its such a fun way for the audience and other characters like James n Thomas to see these other aspects of his life and how he gives it away. Our boy has been through a lot in his 25 yrs of living and I imagine there are things that not a single soul in america knows about. Him giving those pieces of his life to somebody is a very simple and beautiful way of showing vulnerability. I can imagine how shocked and slightly impressed thomas would be when he finds out that while he was using angelica as a rebound for James, she was doing the same with her n Alex lmao.

i think the domesticity and stability of eliza are definitely thinks that attract alex, who has experienced these things basically Never since his mom died many years ago!

but you’re so right that their backgrounds are very different and that leads to fundamental differences between them and how they perceive the world; i think madison and jefferson also have a certain brokenness or damage or hurt or whatever you want to call it from their upbringings that make them more compatible with hamilton, because they all share a common language on that level, so to speak, whereas eliza (stable, loving, family home) fundamentally can’t understand where alex is coming from in key ways at key times

i obviously write with a lot of ambiguity because i like leavings things open for the reader (and sometimes i honestly don’t have a real answer/explanation behind things, it just Is Ambigous… one such major case is coming up in the next couple chapters) — so i won’t weigh in on the exact nature of their breakup, but you definitely hit a lot of things on the head here with alex’s caginess, and i loved reading all of your thoughts on his relationships!!!

[cyanspica]

hello !!! how’s it going,,,, can i ask what you think of the schuyler sisters’ relationships & dynamics within themselves (like all three, angelica&peggy, eliza&peggy, and espppp angelica&eliza oughh)? doan is SO juicy with the possibilities of ss angst im !!!! /no pressure

ooooooh interesting! i haven’t put thought into these as much, although i do think a Lot about angelica, who is the most interesting to me for various reasons (including that i just find her the most relatable and ripe for headcanons, since eliza’s character is very well established and peggy is the reverse of very unestablished but without much meat to cook the soup around)

i think i do view them as a very close sibling unit with angelica as the protector figure, eliza as the peacemaker more or less, and peggy as the mischievous younger sibling. they all know each other better than anyone else, including to the point of being able to call each other out on their individual kinds of bullshit

i borrowed from history/canon in having peggy die first; a lot of that yellow symbolism continues to carry throughout the fic (and might even be the first time i mentioned it…?). peggy was very much a glue that held them together in common, the sister they could go to with secrets they thought the other would judge them for (peggy certainly knew how angelica felt about alex; i think eliza knew deep down but choose to be blind to it, like the original cut of first burn implies)

obviously, this was devastating to angelica and eliza; angelica was the one who attempted the leg amputation, because she had been bitten. obviously she died regardless, perhaps because or in spite of this effort. the real reason doesn’t matter so much as that angelica has to keep living with this ambiguity and the feeling of Failure as the oldest, protective, Strongest sibling. she would sacrifice anything for either of them, but she never prepared for that eventuality (and this all leads into lots of Other Separate Events happening within their surviving group)

i personally view angelica and hamilton as very similar characters in many lenses. i’m not sure i can explain this as clearly as i would like to, but i think they share very bright desires; in DOAN, that manifests a lot as suppressing what they want but perceive as destructive

there are some allusions to the schuyler sisters in the side fic about the pre-apocalypse life: angelica’s pre fic background of course includes stepping aside from pursuing ham because of realizing eliza’s feelings for him, true to canon. i think even after their relationship failed, she perceived (correctly) that they couldn’t be together without baggage from eliza’s side, and there is a deep regret in her over that (that occasionally slides into guilty resentment in her weaker moments, of which there are many in the end of the world)

eliza i think is obviously not really suited for the post apocalyptic world the way hamilton or angelica is, and losing peggy both tightens angelica’s feeling of need to protect her, perhaps to unrealistic and unhealthy extents. i think eliza feels much more deeply and lets herself feel, so whereas angelica is grieving but also trying to suppress that grief to be a more effective protector, eliza is feeling that actively, and that mismatch frustrates them both

angelica’s attitude is one of i don’t care if you hate me, because you if hate me, that means you’re still alive, and that’s what matters most

of course, burr is the interesting character between them, and his role in their remaining group does play a significant role in both mitigating and increasing those tensions between them, but that’s a whole separate conversation

i hope that this answered some of your questions!! it was fun to write out, and even if it isn’t relevant to the story, i do have Many Thoughts about this whole side of the dynamic/universe, even if I won’t ever formally explore them in writing !!

[cyanspica]

points threateningly death of a nation made me cry at 9pm on some fuckass sunday and i am so not okat. watch your back. i am approaching. 🫵

it’s ok i can outrun you. i went to the hamilton school of running away from things (feelings)

🏃‍♂️💨💨💨

[cyanspica]

Hey there! How have you been? Hope your job is not sucking up your energy too bad.

Your fic, doan, is one of those fics that come back to me once every year or so. Been keeping up with the fic since its first chapter. Just wanted you to know how much it means to me. Thanks for writing it.

i think i have a different job now than when this was sent…. my bad. i now work roughly 60 hours a week. politics am i right???? :,) anyways life is crazy and good and the ao3 curse hits me and then reverses on itself but things generally work out in the end

i am so glad you have looked in on doan for so long!! it means so much to me too… publishing that last chapter someday will be both a relief and devastating. i hope the story continues to bring you as much happiness as it does to me to read everyone’s comments!

[cyanspica]

I LOVED chapter 12 of DOAN, the kiss, the fights, the silly attempts at banter. All of it was perfect. Can't wait to see what you do next with our boys but I have a question on whether other survivors will be showing up all at once or maybe 1 or 2 at a time then lead back to a community, kinda like in tlou show. I've had this scenario play out in my head for a week thinking about how this could go down. I read one comment on ao3 who suggested that the boys go out in search of madison, who's prolly been picked up by other survivors due to his weak immune system, but I believe the boys deserve to have somewhere to stay and instead...someone brings the fight to them. Maybe they're after alex bc of his immunity or they're after thomas for revenge, idk you'll think of something much more clever but I imagine the house gets attacked and they get separated and one of the boys gets captured forcing the other to go after him. While they're captured (or infiltrating the group/camp) they meet a survivor who leads them to the others. In my head I've been imagining Alex gets captured and runs into Lafayette who is just delighted to meet THE alexander hamilton he's heard so much about but never got to meet. I've been imagining the scenes with Ellie biting the guys finger and screaming her name after him, and I'm thinking Hamilton would ABSOLUTELY do something like that to his captors lmal. Idk I just love how much of a completely unhinged badass hamilton is and there's not enough appreciation for that, and I imagine Lafayette has very similar energy 🤣 I don't imagine we'll get into this concept in the very next chapter just bc there's still a lot of character development to be done with jamilton that I am so down for. But I adore a laf × ham friendship and I just think it would be so funny if laf calls Alex different pet names (like the oh so favorite "petite lion") and it confuses him so much but ticks madison and jefferson who can't even call hamilton darling/dear without bringing up too many feelings.

i LOVE receiving theories but oof they are so hard to respond to without showing my Plot Cards so i have to be very ambiguous in how i respond to them —- especially where it regards Ending Content because i have the general structure sorted out but not all of the details filled in

anyways (i also wrote out an extremely lengthy response to this before and then tumblr didn’t save it :///// ) i’m just going to respond to parts of your message randomly

chapter 12 had it all! drama! reunions! feelings! a kiss?!?!? i’m sure things will be totally normal tomorrow

on the note of hamilton: yes LOTS of people of various backgrounds and motivations know who he is by now but obviously he’s very isolated for multiple reasons. it’s funny to me because many people are looking for him and he’s just like i literally don’t want to be Here anymore leave me alone leave me alone leave—but hey! he has A Reputation! so it’s not all lost alex <3

also yes alex IS indeed a biter. i don’t think he’s bitten anyone yet!?? but there is an extremely high likelihood that he will for anyone else familiar with the source material from TLOU i do have some similar plot points in mind derived from that. hamilton will do almost anything to survive and biting is DEFINITELY on the table…

love lafayette, he definitely does have a similar chaotic energy and it’s a shame he hasn’t really appeared in this fic because i do love a ham x alex friendship. i don’t have as many deep tortured headcanons for Laf because i think he’s usually a bit simpler and more of what you see is what you get but he’s a joy to write! no comment on whether he is alive/whether he will reappear in this story however

the next chapter is really fun for lots of reasons including Fallout but i’m more excited for the chapter that will Follow that one…. for reasons I cannot say but it will be a Journey

thank you for all your thoughts!!! i hope the story as it turns out will be fun to follow and see what you were right on :)

[cyanspica]

Hi! I wanted to tell you that Death of a Nation genuinely made me need therapy again/j. No but seriously your writing style is actually fantastic, everything flows so well and the characterisation is so good and consistent it makes me want to break things sometimes. I just wanted to point out, in case you'd never heard it, that Cop Car by mitski reminds me PERFECTLY of your Alex and I couldn't stop thinking about your fic listening to it. Thank you for sharing your art <3.

thank you!!!!! my stories are like usually 80% characterization and 20% plot (usually the most insane plots…. DOAN obv not as much, but actually a lot of my fics are inspired by Actual Shit that happened to me lol and even moreso by whatever emotions i feel DOAN is literally my covid experience on some levels)

i have listened to this song!!!! i’m not a huge mitski fan but i actually really like this one because it IS very DOAN alex coded i may end up adding it to my doan playlist….

thank you so much for taking the time to type all this out!!! i am in a Writing Mood and so i hope the next chapter will continue to deliver!

[fullybakedbrownie]

quiet

based on a frame from this (screenshot courtesy of NORTHPEARL)

[here-a-lee-there-a-lee]

sigh…yet another year of Adams chiding Jefferson…

happy Fourth of July!!! 😝

[mxrderscenes]

writing is so funny because i could write nonstop for 9hrs and then hit a block where im like "how do i transition between this moment and the next?" and then i just dont touch it for 6 months

[fullybakedbrownie]

happy pride

[midniight-fix]

the only time tjeffs will agree to what hamilton says is when he’s in his lap :/

[northpearl4core]

SZIN'S WHAT DID I MISS ANIMATIC GIFS PT 2

WATCH IT

[fullybakedbrownie]

james madison switching sides the second he heard that first jazz chord 🔥🔥

them 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥