American Psycho

Just your average depressed human

[cybergoth66]

🖤name: Jazz👩🏾

❤️‍🔥31 yr old 😎🤘🏾

🖤Just here to express myself😔

🔥👹💀👻🔪🩸🪓⚰️🍷

[neon-wonderlands]

[cybergoth66]

[cybergoth66]

[cybergoth66]

You’re really done losing weight?

For now, yes I am.

[cybergoth66]

Reached my UGW, 120 lbs! 🎉

Total lost: 44 lbs 🔥

I think I like where I’m at so I’ll maintain this. It’s gonna be so weird to eat regular (of course healthy) again. I’ll start slow and work my way up, so I don’t have a panic attack. I haven’t eaten like a regular person in like 5 months lol now to the next phase of my journey, getting toned and strong 💪🏾 🏋🏾‍♀️ no I’m not leaving my blog or the community, I’ll will always be here and give updates🫶🏾🖤❤️🖤

[cybergoth66]

Suddenly I have all this energy lol managed to get through my morning workout like normal. I think it’s all the chai tea ☕️ I’ve been drinking lol I replaced the craving for cigarettes with tea (or coffee). All this added caffeine is a big help. Should be able to make it to my ugw now 😌

[cybergoth66]

If I don’t see some sort of progress after this weekend I might have to put a pause on the weight loss and maintain where I’m at (122 lbs) for a little bit, so I can regain my strength and energy. I’m weak AF, I can’t exercise like I used to, I can barely walk or stand for long periods of time. I know it sounds great to others but I’m a mom of 2 boys under the age of 5, I need energy to keep up. This was a hard decision to make. Hopefully I lose at least another pound. 😞🤞🏾I’m so close to the end

[cybergoth66]

I’m so conflicted and torn. Like at a crossroads. I’m 2 pounds away from my UGW. My goal is to also be fit and strong, not skin and bones like last time. I’m so fucking weak and tired I can’t keep up with my exercise routine. I’m losing weight but I’m also not achieving my other goal at the same time. I know I should eat a little more to regain energy so I can workout and be stronger. But I just gotta lose 2 more pounds to reach my goal and eating a little more might affect my progress. Uuuuuggghhhhh!!!! FML ! I’m so close and now my body wants to give up on me.

[cybergoth66]

Smoking my last cigarette 🚬 gonna really try to quit this time. I’m scared because my depression is going to ramp up and I’ll be moody for awhile 😞😔😢🤬 I’m also terrified it will affect my progress with weight loss. Smoking helped curve my appetite. When I don’t smoke I tend to eat. Maybe I’ll try gum. Fingers crossed 🤞🏾 guys I succeed

[cybergoth66]

Let’s be honest. The walk you take with 4na, it feels amazing in the beginning. Slowly but surely you see results. Sometimes you fail, but we get back on the horse and get on track. Slowly you gain control, the number on the scale goes down. You start to feel the effects of it. Dizzy, weak, hunger pains, headache, the list goes on. It’s all great because we’re all doing it for the goal, the UGW, the LW. Then…the shit starts getting old. You’re tired all the time, hell you’re sick and tired of being sick and tired. And you start questioning yourself and everything you’ve done to yourself…but it doesn’t matter, it’s the goal. It’s the number on the scale and how you see yourself in the mirror that matters….so we keep going, and continue our walk with 4na.,

Thanks for coming to my TedTalk lol I’m just ranting🤦🏾‍♀️

[cybergoth66]

I feel so weak due to lack of food. It’s really hitting hard on me. Had the WORST workout session today. I could barely finish. I can barely move. Ugh! 😩 but I’m so close to my ugw, so close I can taste it (lol). I gotta keep going, it’s just getting harder now because I’m so weak😔

[cybergoth66]

[cybergoth66]

Reached my 3rd UGW, 125.6 lbs🎉

Total lost: 39 lbs 🔥

Starting to like the results now, 5 more pounds to lose until I reach the end. I came so far, lots of hard work, almost there. Plotting on what I’m going to do when I reach the end of this. Will I stop and maintain or keep going🤔💭

[cybergoth66]

Ana working on me because I stand up and the whole room spinning 😵‍💫 lol

[cybergoth66]

Thought I post an old picture of me. This was taken December 3rd, 2021. I was 97 lbs. my ed had a grip on me lol it was nice being skinny and seeing all my bones. I got pregnant again so I had to recover. Now I’ve relapsed and back on my bull shit lol I don’t think I’ll be that small again. Going in a different direction this time. We’ll see what happens.

[cybergoth66]