All Hail The Almighty Axolotl

Cypher • she/her // fae/faer Just gonna put random pointless stuff here and see what happens

[theinfamousodysseus]

[sarnai4]

First family dinner back in Ithaca

Penelope: Want some pork for dinner, Darling?

Odysseus (gagging): No, Beloved. I don't think I'll ever look at a pig the same way.

Telemachus: Ooh! Dad, how about some bee-

Odysseus (terrified): No! Don't even finish that suggestion! (Whispering) He'll hear you.

(Penelope and Telemachus look at one another with concern)

Penelope: Well, we also have some fish.

Odysseus: Perfect!

(Odysseus proceeds to stab it as violently as possible)

Telemachus:...Mom, was he like this before or...?

Penelope (swooning): No, but I'm into it.

[iodyllic]

i saw this image and immediately thought of them.Please tell me nobody has done this already LOL (。-∀-)

[ochiody]

really quick comic based on this post by @fangirling-phoenix

[polentaconleche]

I made an armour for the little wolf, what do u think? ;)

[sylusbitch]

my favorite hc is that penelope was told by the ladies in waiting to go and stay in her room and not to come out for anyone

and she hears screams and whatnot and is like oh fuck now theyve done it, the suitors are gonna destroy the place

only to hear the screams lessen in volume and being like ? are they killing each other?

but then she hears a scream clear as day "THIS WILL BE YOUR FATE" and she's like🧍‍♀️no fuckin shot my husband is down there on a murder spree

and she immediately starts pacing back and forth like "LADIES HELP ME PREPARE I NEED TO LOOK DIVINE" and it's a full makeover sequence

and they're posing her and being like "hold on, tilt your chin up a little bit, turn to the side like 12 degrees- BOOM my lady you are serving such cunt"

and then they hear odysseus' loud ass steps going up the stairs and all the ladies scatter while penelope tries to look nonchalant like "AHEM....😳 is it you? have my prayers been answered?"

[pumpkinhrat]

[fangirling-phoenix]

Can we please appreciate Odysseus being a silent stalker in the shadows, taking out suitors with his bow, not deigning to speak to them as he takes them out one by one

until some of them go "we have to strike him in the darkness too! we know the halls of this palace! the odds can be tilted!"

and Odysseus, built this palace with his very hands, has to step out of the shadows like "are you this fucking stupid"

[freezingwhitefire]

That was one of the best parts of the song honestly. Odysseus just not able to let them keep the idea they knew the place better than he did.

[nottspocket]

They know how to deal with each other better

[nottspocket]

Sometimes I forget how much I love drawing in my sketchbook. Paper texture got me fucked up

[junglejim4322]

Sometimes I talk a lot and sometimes I don’t talk at all and somehow both are embarrassing

[surelyimisheard]

avenge yourself!

[bramblefilm]

I think a sword and a walk in the forest would fix me

[lizardsfromspace]

"Sex is what makes us human" is stupid. Almost every species fucks. Humans are the only species that jumps motorcycles over school buses that are on fire. Some other things too probably

[roseworth]

i could get so much done in a day if i didnt decide my day was over at 4 pm. too bad theres no solution oh well

[surelyimisheard]

woe! perception be upon ye

[surelyimisheard]

smarmy dick weasel