Jo

21. Medic. I enjoy many things.

[moreglitter]

normalize lying to matt lauer about seeing a clown explode to death in his little clown car

[shutyourmoustache]

[marsup]

one time in high school my french teacher told the class that his grandmother died and a kid in the class said “je regrette :(“ and the french teacher burst out laughing and was like “you’re gonna wanna say desolé in this context because je regrette means like…. my bad”

[m-dreamer-is-trans-inclusive]

You're laughing, he confessed to your grandmothers murder and you're laughing.

[notfunnycried]

tell your boyfriend if he says he’s got beef, that i’m a vegetarian and i

eat leaf

[dulect]

I don’t need you, I have other people to talk to

[stay-close]

“People, I have discovered, are layers and layers of secrets. You believe you know them, that you understand them, but their motives are always hidden from you, buried in their own hearts. You will never know them.”

— Veronica Roth (via thoughtkick)

[verylostpenguin]

It’s my grandpa’s birthday next week and he said “I don’t want to be 85” and my grandmother, his wife of 59 and a half years, said “well your only alternative is to die”, I can’t believe how affectionate they are

[verylostpenguin]

I was having lunch with them today and my grandpa started throwing napkins at my grandmother, and she balled it up and looked all set to throw it back but then she put it down and said “I will not throw it because I was brought up properly, you were dragged” she has spent ¾ of her life with this man

[verylostpenguin]

I thought I’d let you know how they’ve been getting on during lockdown, so here’s some of the FaceTime conversation from today:

“My goodness, the way technology is advancing - in 20 years we’ll be able to shake hands through the screen!”

“Rex, I don’t think we’ll be here in 20 years.”

“Well you can make your own plans, I shall only be 109.”

[verylostpenguin]

What’s up friends, it’s been 3 years, grandpa has made it to 88 and they’ve been married 62.5 years! Please enjoy another instalment:

Grandpa: the new packs are.. it’s.. what is it. It self destructs

Grandma : biodegradable, Rex.

[theriu]

Bless your grandparents, maximum relationship goals

[officialunitedstates]

FACT OF THE DAY:  zebras’ stripes are not always black and white.  sometimes they are black and orange

[throwing-lego]

this is a giraffe

[scorpiofactsdaily]

The only bitterness you need today is the delicious bitter taste of red wine and dark chocolate

[quaculaarchive]

what if i was evil and ran torwards you at very fast speeds

[nirtonic]

My arms are strong, I would catch you ands hug you

[1617]

sorry for not responding i just dont have the mental capacity to hold a conversation anymore

[kyliexgender]

[[adopting a baby]] “aww she’s so adorabl— wait when was she born?” “may 30th” “a gemini? hell no. what are my other options ??”

[chomametchi]

hmm it sure is bob, it sure is

[museofaesthetics]

i want a soft connection. i want to be asked how my day went and if i need anything. i want forehead kisses. i want the back of my hand kissed at red lights. i want to be asked how i’m mentally feeling. i want to hold hands everywhere we go. i want romantic gestures. i want my hair played in at the most unexpected moments. i want silent eye connections that lead to smiles. i want to take random walks.

[totallyfubar]

I love saying “of course” instead of “you’re welcome,” like of course I’m helping you that’s what I do, you were foolish to even consider an alternate dimension in which I’m not helping you. you idiot. you absolute buffoon.

[durrymuncher]

When you put a new profile picture on facebook and everyone’s liking it

[wizardpostsdotorg]

hi sorry for ghosting you im being tormented by psychic horrors beyond your wildest comprehensions