"It's worth the risk to do the right thing."

roleplay account for sejanus plinth (tbosas). contains 18+ content.

[districttrifurcate]

This scene in the movie is so peak Snowjanus that I had to write out the alternative way it should have gone. As much as I love Snowjanus, I do think they'd fall apart as a couple for much the same reason that Snowbaird did. Coryo wants too much control and Sejanus refuses to abdicate his own sense of personal power. But the draw is there nevertheless, at least until the wrestling for dominance begins. (These comics were made in Photoshop and DAZ Studio, ain't no way I was hand-drawing those backgrounds. I'm still exploring workflows for using DAZ3D in comics, and projects like this are a great way to experiment with visual styles.)

[rimeoverreason]

@d2sejanus--plinth

It had all happened suddenly and without any prior warning or buildup. He had simply gone to bed one evening after a mentally laborious day of officer training in District Two and the next morning he'd been brought into his superior's office to hear he would be returning to the Capitol promptly. The sequence of events that followed were still a blur but they somehow led to where he now currently was, headed back home.

Coriolanus found himself aboard the train and the thoughts in his head were still whipping by as fast as the scenery out the window. There was only one District between him and the Capitol, between him and the life he fought hard to not forget. Tigris, the Grandma'am. That he's returning so soon should put a spark in their eyes and he couldn't wait to surprise them. There was another who also wrapped around his heart, one that he couldn't shake the feeling had something to do with his swift return. One whose hands he could still feel tug upon his dogtags. Would he be at the station waiting for him? The only one there for his arrival, just as he was the only one at the station in District 12 for his departure.

The concrete weight of reality began to settle upon his shoulders. This was one more chapter closing and a fresh page being flipped over. The expanse of barren land out through the window would soon give way to both familiar and untrodden paths. Coriolanus felt the pressure start to build in his head, felt the pull once again within his very core. He hoped he wouldn't have to get right into things. He hoped he would have some time to think, some time to just be.

The train began to slow and Coriolanus picked up his officer's cap which he'd set on the seat beside him. Sweeping his thumb over the stitching his teeth found his lower lip; even such intense training couldn't keep his nerves at bay. But he couldn't step off the train looking frazzled, even if the entire station was empty. He had to fill that pit in his stomach and meet this next chapter head on. After putting his cap on and slinging his back over his shoulder Coriolanus walked to the door of the train car and already the echoing sounds of the station met his ears. Not much had changed from what he could make out so far as he stepped down onto the platform and it filled him with a sense of anticipation.

It only took a few more steps before he was stopped, coming toe to toe with that presence he'd sorely been without for months. "You know you don't have to worry about making a good impression on me anymore," he stated, the words barely holding back an imminent flood of emotion.

[d2sejanus--plinth]

Nerves were not something foreign. They were intimate, even, familiar, but this time there was something different about them. The tendrils of anxiety were undermined by the budding excitement, and as he stood on the station and waited, it changed further: the flutters cutting clean right through his unwelcome strain, right in the center, bullseye, a bullet that brought devastation to his nervousness. 

They had not been easy months. It had not been an easy time, he over here, Coriolanus over there, the distance between them feeling like it spanned continents. He was not used to it, had never been without at least seeing Coriolanus for that long, ever in his life, and the new experience had been, to say the least, unsettling. Perhaps another would have taken time to examine his reckless dependency, his addiction, but not Sejanus. Turned out that, for him, distance did make the heart grow fonder. And it made him more combative, and it made him braver, and it made him a bully. Not like the ones he had when they attended the Academy, he wouldn’t say, no. It made him courageous to demand things, to play the game, to force a hand here and there. It made him shameless, in asking for what he wanted from his father and making dubious promises of obedience in return.

It paid off.

He had not mentioned this to Coriolanus in his last letter, wanting to spring a surprise on him. Sejanus knew that Coriolanus knew what Sejanus wanted. What all of this meant: the help, the regular contact, the extra benefits he might have gotten. Sejanus wasn’t manipulative. Sejanus only wanted honesty, wanted something real, wanted to see beyond the veil of self control, of repression. Wanted to see Coriolanus messy and raw and authentic. 

He didn’t think all too much about that right now. He was going to see Coriolanus in minutes, his heart drumming in his ears when the train stopped. He was dressed up, it was a most significant occasion, and he waited for Coriolanus in pressed, black dress pants, in a forest green button down shirt, with his rather recently purchased car waiting not too far away, parked, ready to swoop Coriolanus up. 

His heart was in his mouth when Coriolanus was in front of him, and he felt as if he could choke on his fucking tongue. “Officer Snow,” he managed with only a slight quaver of his voice, “Coryo,” before his spine caved in and he folded into Coriolanus’ arms. All sensations were new, all sensations were old, the line of Coriolanus’ body against his, the soft, thin skin at the back of his ear, the knobs of his spine as his hands, his fingertips counted them. 

He could disintegrate against him. His stomach churned. Old and new sensations. When he pulled back, his eyes were properly shiny, and he predicted a bit of a breakdown when they would be entirely shielded from intruders’ eyes. “Welcome back,” his voice was folding around a million of emotions; and even as the next words were still so jarring to him, as they tasted of ash on his tongue, he still said it, “welcome home.”

[rimeoverreason]

Coriolanus was sometimes infuriating. It wasn't a quality of his that he was unfamiliar with, not at all. He would do things that would drive Sejanus up the wall, that would make him click his tongue, that would make him worried.

He would do all those with a certain regularity. Right now, he'd been stuck in his office for well over six hours, mulling over the same paper, and Sejanus knew that, because he'd been there twice already, once, simply to check up on him, to ask if the headache from last night returned. And then the second time, going in with some cut slices of apple and some fresh strawberries for a sweet little break as he'd put it.

Now, it was the third time he was going in, and admittedly, he could recognize that he was probably being over the top. But Coriolanus did have that headache last night, and now, as he watched him from the threshold, eyebrows knitted and eyes a little cloudy, as he pored over that same paper, and then tender, bony knuckles pressing into his temples, he made up his mind. He needed a break, a real break. The fruit remained untouched, and a twinge of indignation rose inside of him.

He looked perfect, pristine even as he didn't have any meetings today. Coriolanus, his Coryo, was simply stunning, and when Sejanus dared to suggest that he wear more comfortable clothes when he has no meetings, he got a bit of a tirade in turn. There couldn't be a hair out of place while he was working.

Of course, that excluded the times Sejanus messed it all up. All the times he disrupted that perfection, because he could.

He strode into the office, and didn't say a word. Instead, he went over to Coriolanus, to his seat, and promptly plucked him from his chair, as if he were a doll. His strong arms held him firmly, with a little huff he lifted him, in one smooth boost, gathering his legs around his waist. “You've been staring at those documents for so long I think they might burst into flames.”

He didn't go very far, because, as rowdy as he was with disrupting Coriolanus' workflow, he knew when there was something important that he didn't want to be completely torn from it. He respected his work, as much as he hated it. He only made his way to one of the plush, big armchairs sitting to the side, with a little, tasteful coffee table in front of them.

Sitting down, he let Coriolanus curl up on his lap, and he kissed those same temples he dug his knuckles into, one side, then the other, his heart filled with warmth and worry. His lips found the line of Coriolanus' elegant neck. “Just sit with me, for a bit.”

It wasn't often that Coriolanus came upon a blockade as he followed different thoughts to different ends. The fault usually rested with those who came to him with problems, problems they didn't bother trying to sort out themselves. No, they always came to him and every time he spoke with them he watched as the confidence and courage left their eyes. A feeling would settle over the space then, that they'd made a mistake in taking up their President's precious time with their frivolousness.

This time, however, the fault laid with his own mind. As much as he looked over the draft of this year's arena, as much as he read and reread every word and picked apart every drawn line, he couldn't force his train of thought onward. It had reached the end of the line and Coriolanus knew that if he continued to try it would end up derailing and careen into the wall, rendering him utterly useless for the rest of the day.

He had barely lifted his gaze the first two times Sejanus came to check in on him. He was like one of those tiny figures in a clock, gliding in and out of those equally tiny doors to announce the hour. Leave it to his doctor to worry about a simple headache, though Coriolanus would rather have that than the alternative of him not caring. Perhaps he should eat the fruit he'd brought. Did he even have breakfast? Lunch? What time even was it . . .

The decision was made for him as Sejanus entered for the third time and strode over to him with a singular mission in mind. It still managed to surprise him, just how strong Sejanus was. He was picked up and wrapped around him like an empty sack and he hooked his arms around his neck, more so to keep close than for support. He'd wager he could be picked up easily with only one arm.

"They'd more likely decompose in that time than spontaneously combust," Coriolanus countered rather unseriously. In his mind the papers dissolved into his desk as he so dissolved into Sejanus' lap. The kisses to his temples like two shots of morphling bringing unparalleled relief, allowing his body to untense and gently lean against the other. No urging, not even the Capitol's soldiers would be able to move him from that spot. He exhaled deeply, longingly, with the sound of a contented mmmm as those lips greeted his neck. "I am sitting with you," he managed to mumble as he reached up a hand to run lazily through that dark and inviting hair.

[d2sejanus--plinth]

He used his strength liberally. For and against Coriolanus, and he wasn’t ashamed about it. Moments like this one were not rare, to his chagrin, where he had to manhandle him out of office, where he had to use force like this to prevent him from collapsing with exhaustion. He was still not catching it every time, but he was only getting better and better, and his stubbornness could rival Coriolanus’, and Coriolanus’ stubbornness could reach concerning levels usually. No matter how much time passed, he was still learning, and his mind and body were keeping pace with constant adaptation to Coriolanus, something involuntary, a process that could perhaps at this point even be called an automatism. 

It was Coriolanus. It was the love of his life. He was the most important. And his body and mind got the memo of that a long time ago, acting and reacting accordingly. 

He was relieved when there was no reluctance or pushback coming from Coriolanus. When they were settled on the armchair, Coriolanus’ weight on him was a balm. When anxiety poured from him, it gathered to Sejanus, too, he was a magnet and Coriolanus’ feelings were thousands and thousands of steel shards. In a way, this was as selfish as it was selfless, like most things were when it came to his feelings for Coriolanus. “Decompose like that fruit?” He questioned, but his tone was not cutting. His tone was a little chiding, but mostly concerned, his voice warmed with affection. He didn’t like it when Coriolanus didn’t eat. 

The kisses to his aching temples seemed to relieve Coriolanus a bit, he could feel him relax and go more languid in his lap, and while he didn’t hold him more tightly, his hold became fuller, more encompassing, over his waist and hips. It was perhaps strange to say he missed Coriolanus, when he had seen him all morning, and had mostly been just rooms away, but he did. His lips found the pale flesh of his neck, his nose burrowing to the curve there, and to his throat. He inhaled as Coriolanus exhaled, and for a moment, it felt as though they were one body, some unlikely beast that could inhale and exhale at the same time.

“Right, because I forced you to,” his voice was lighthearted, and a groan of pleasure escaped him when Coriolanus’ fingers curled into his hair. What a treat. “I don’t think you’ll ever learn to take regular breaks. Ever. It doesn’t seem like that’s a thing that you can do. Is this perhaps the only thing the grand Coriolanus Snow can’t do?” He was more mumbling than talking, over the soft underside of Coriolanus’ chin.

His lips slid upwards, and he kissed Coriolanus full on his sharp, beautiful, and gentle mouth. “We should spend our time most.. “ he lingered on that soft, cruel mouth, biting at it as if it were ripe fruit, “productively.”

[rimeoverreason]

Sleep was still not a smooth affair, not always. Sometimes he would fall asleep more easily, other times he would lie awake, with eyes open and yet unseeing, plunged into an odd headspace he couldn’t pull away from; and other times, like now, he would fall asleep, but then awaken suddenly, and not be able to gently fall into the embrace of unconsciousness again. It wasn’t a big problem, though he wasn’t happy about the pattern of disrupted sleep. He would try to sleep, and if it didn’t come, he would prop his pillow more firmly against the headboard and lean against it, and look over to the other side of the bed. Worshipfully. Endeared, Coriolanus’ hair spilled on the pillows, his stance relaxed and lax. He really didn’t look relaxed like that on many other occasions and it was a sight Sejanus cherished. He wore silk pajamas, and it felt like the natural transition, from staring away to fingering the collar of his top, and then sliding close, his scent, clean skin and roses, a delight to his senses. He buried his face in the crook of Coriolanus’ neck, his touch light, unassuming, the tip of his nose just grazing there. His body flooded with warmth, this gush of heat glowing inside of him, tingling to his fingertips, when he slid close, when the contours of his body molded to the side of Coriolanus’ body. He curled an arm over his tummy, over his waist, with languor, all touches kept unobtrusive. He took in a deep, slow breath, tracing a line to the base of Coriolanus’ neck with the tip of his nose, drawing his fragrance in greedily. He wanted to melt into him. Sometimes, when he held him like this, he was afraid to wake up the next day, eighteen again, having woken up from a self-indulgent, wonderful dream about Coryo. But this was reality. His reality, their reality.

He slid down a little, to keep his cheek flush to his collarbone, and his hand lightly pushed under the silky top, over the bare skin of his waist. He thought he could fall asleep, but it didn’t come, so instead, he pulled away a bit again, so he could watch him more comfortably, gaze drinking him in — the bridge of his strong nose, his petal lips, the tantalizing bit of his chest bared, he drew his fingers up, under his shirt, until they slid over his chest. He could feel his heartbeat, steady, a lulled pulse, so sweet. Roguishly, he pulled his hand away only to lean in and snap each button free gently, pushing tenderly at the fabric until he could take in the lovely view of Coriolanus’ chest, the sharp dip of his collarbones. His stomach felt hollow, aching suddenly, with hunger. His hand slid up in a tender caress, over his tummy, his chest, and he sidled up close, to press scattered kisses to his jaw, his cheek, over the bone at the top of his cheek, and into his hair. His breathing quickened, his heart rushing with need, his stomach twisted — he knew he didn’t want to stop there, and he didn’t. Coriolanus felt so languid, so pliable and soft, he kissed over his naked shoulder, venturing over to his throat, his kisses growing needier, his tongue darting out for a slick sweep, up over his chin, all the way till his lower lip. His eyes already black pools of need, endless, when his thigh curled over Coriolanus’ thigh, just enough for his hips to rock lazily against it, stifling a whimper with his teeth sinking into his lip. He gathered Coriolanus’ hand in his hand, it felt so limp, he held it and pulled it close to his face, kissed his wrist over and over again as he humped against his thigh like a dog, albeit more languidly, but still with a desperation that made his face feel hot. He kissed at his fingers, licked and sucked the forefinger over his tongue, almost certain Coriolanus would wake up any moment — tears gathered at the corners of his eyes, how needy, how rabid he felt and how quickly it came to it.

He climbed over Coriolanus, slotted between his thighs, leaning down to kiss his chest, rubbing himself against his groin, a full, deliberate contact, “Coryo,” he moaned, his breathing harsher, he needed, wanted him so badly it wasn’t a notion that he could even begin to grasp. Crazed, he slanted himself up a bit, reaching out to grab at the headboard, and began to thrust against Coriolanus’ groin in earnest, silk sliding on silk, skin burning for skin, but he took what he could, hand clutching over his thigh to wrap it over his hip, a slack connection. Coriolanus looked so, so gorgeous, his chest beautiful and pale, his hair tousled on the pillows, his cheeks tinged with the sweetest, faintest rosy color. He could feel the heat, prickling at his skin, making him feel clammy, his hairline felt sweaty. His breaths fell harder, little sobs and whines escaping now and again, and he could feel that Coriolanus was going to wake up — he let his full weight topple on him, ravenously taking his mouth, his soft, enticing mouth, he clenched his lips over his tongue and sucked, groaning, hands slithering up to hold at his face, to keep him in place, his head swam with pleasure.

It was a feverish dream which he could not escape from, though there was also no desire to escape. It was a cacophony of teeth and claws and burning skin. A passion play where the mind gave in to the temptations of the flesh and the air was thick and heavy with heat and want and need, where decorum and control were discarded unceremoniously. It was a feral sort of bliss and Coriolanus—whatever visage of him this one was—leapt into its ravishment with arms wide open.

Every touch, grope, and kiss seemed to pull to the surface what lied below: a lengthening of claws, a sprouting of spines, a curling of tail. This form was hungry, starving, and as Sejanus' form kept taking the pit in his stomach kept expanding. He wanted to tear him open and be torn open in turn, nuzzle and nestle amongst the warmth of organs and viscera, to be brought to fruition and completion. To enclose his lover's neck within his jaws as he feels him inside, pulsing in his core. It was all maddening and his skull felt as if it was about to burst from its seams.

Coriolanus' eyelids fluttered as the moaned word of his name traveled down into his subconscious. The heat was almost unbearable and he could feel it roiling in his abdomen and down to and between his legs. Perhaps now was the time to escape; he couldn't hold himself back for long. A spasm of his arm, a flaring of his nostrils. So close to breaking the surface. So close until—

The hand that was held limply grabbed at the back of Sejanus' head suddenly like a lunging snake and his eyes popped open as the weight of his body smothered him. The feel of that mouth upon his own made a shiver run the entire length of his body and he wriggled his tongue free from those lips before seeking out and biting down upon Sejanus'. The leg that was barely draped over Sejanus' hip tightened like a vice and he matched those desperate thrusts with his own slow drags, becoming aware of how hard he already was. It was all so achingly desperate.

He was far past the point of thinking and as his free hand swept from Sejanus' brow to his chest, mixing all those beads of sweat together, his breaths came harder. Every sharp inhale was pushed out into the furnace that was Sejanus' mouth with staggered moans. He didn't care that saliva was starting to drip down his chin, he would clamor for and savor every morsel that was dangled before him.

[rimeoverreason]

[ TOUCHED ] for receiver to trace one of sender's scars

It wasn't the first time Coriolanus had seen them, of course, he had plenty opportunities to see them. Sejanus wasn't embarrassed of them, he didn't consider them follies of the youth, but he wasn't feeling in any way positively about them, either. There was a neutral feeling about them, almost a detachment.

Sharp white, standing out against his tan skin some, the tops of his thighs peppered with them. There weren't many, he'd never cut so deep, and he didn't cut much. But a few stuck around, and only one or two were textured, a bit rougher to the touch. He really didn't mind them. He didn't think of them. But now Coriolanus was sitting across him and he reached out, his fingers tracing one of them with an inscrutable look on his face.

Coriolanus' bedroom was quiet as it always was; with the overstuffed duvet on the bed, the heavy window drapery, and solid furniture every sound was like a whisper no matter what or who it came from. It was a haven for the two of them during the times when they were completely enraptured with each other. This time, however, there were no voices that needed stifling, no sounds that needed muffling. Only their breathing penetrated the thick silence.

Sejanus had the sheet pulled up as far as his knees but his thighs were fully exposed. He had seen those scars numerous times before but they never passed through any deeper than sight. They were always something he noticed but the situations in which he noticed them never lent themselves to further discussion. But now, here in the comfort of their own selves, Coriolanus reached out and lightly traced one with his index finger.

It felt as if it was being copied directly onto his own skin, that burning, that tingling of the first red drop sliding downward. His thumb soon joined followed by his whole palm to rub over the strips of pale flesh. He smoothed them out and moved slower over the rougher ones, stitching them all into his memory. There was no faltering of his serious expression though the corners of his mouth felt like they quivered for a second. This time he was really looking at them. Taking them in.

"Sejanus. . ." Coriolanus finally spoke but any other words that would have followed were lost before he could formulate them. With that one hand remaining firmly upon the other's thigh he moved closer to place his other hand upon Sejanus' forearm and, slowly, rested their foreheads together. He wanted desperately to ask, wanted to know the answer to what had started to churn in his stomach. But for the moment it remained a fragment in the back of his mind, a small torment of a question.

Were any of these because of me?

[snowalwayslandsontop]

Coriolanus had returned to the reception, mildly irritated that Livia was no where to be found. She should have been here waiting for him. Perhaps she had gone to fix her hair or make up. Either way, he wouldn't waste time searching for her. He would continue to work the room, knowing every single conversation he had and every relationship formed was another vote when the time was right. He wouldn't waste a moment of tonight, when he had a captive audience in good spirits on such an occasion. If only he had been marrying Sejanus, tonight could have been perfect.

Livia finally returned, looking slightly flushed but he paid little attention as she kissed his cheek and asked him to come and dance with her. He could't deny her. It was expected after all, this was their wedding day. Certainly the display would give their guests enough sentimental feelings, it might earn him some support. He took her hand, leading her over to the dance floor as he wondered where Sejanus was. He hadn't seen him come in and he couldn't look for him now when all eyes were on them and he was only supposed to have eyes for his pretty Capitol bride.

The band switched to a slow song as they noticed the bride and groom had taken to the dance floor. Coriolanus was vaguely aware of the soft gazes they were receiving from their guests. Perfect. At least this wasn't a completely wasted moment if it was getting them the attention they - he - needed. Livia pressed close to him and they moved around the dance floor in time with the music. They let the silence settle between them, a small fact that Coriolanus was relieved about. He noticed Sejanus had returned to his table and his heart ached for a moment for his beloved, having to witness this display of false adoration.

Livia looked up at him with a small smile suddenly and then leaned in and kissed him. He was surprised but he allowed it. They had an audience and he wouldn't make a scene. Besides, this was their wedding to he supposed it was appropriate. She pulled away after a few moments before she tilted her head to press her cheek against his. He assumed that would be the end of it but then she whispered in his ear.

"So, how long have you been fucking Sejanus Plinth?"

Coriolanus' stomach dropped at the question, his heart pounding. She knew. How? Had she seen them out in the courtyard or had something else happened? Was that where she had been? He hadn't anticipated that she would find out so soon, even though he and Sejanus had spoken about Livia eventually learning the truth about them.

"I don't know what you're talking about." Coriolanus continued to move her around the dance floor, desperately wanting to look for Sejanus but he couldn't. Not now, not yet.

"Don't play coy Coriolanus. It's not becoming. Sejanus told me all about just a few minutes ago. About you two living together in the Penthouse. No wonder you wouldn't let me even visit, let alone have me move in to your little love nest."

Sejanus never would have told her that, Coriolanus was certain. What had happened? Surely she hadn't just figured all of this out and at their wedding too? Had she had him followed? No, he was too careful. Had she seen them together out in the courtyard? She must have. They'd only been hugging but had someone been watching, it might not have been too hard to guess the real relationship between them. Was she bluffing about the Penthouse? Sejanus would never have divulged such secrets. He trusted him completely.

"Cat got your tongue?" Livia looked up at that, the barest hint of a smirk on her face. She knew better than to cause a scene, with all of Panems elite watching them. "Might make a nice change from having it down Sejanus' throat."

"No need to be crass Livia. That isn't becoming of a lady." Coriolanus leaned in and pressed a kiss against her cheek. "Neither is having a vivid imagination."

Livia was giving him a sickly sweet smile and Coriolanus knew she was about to stick in a metaphorical dagger. She leaned in closer, brushing a kiss against his cheek before she pressed her lips against his ear. To anyone watching, it would look like a sweet moment before newlyweds. In reality, she whispered.

"Neither is taking a phone call from your fiance about the flowers for your wedding when you're bed fucking your boyfriend. At the gym were you? Sejanus told me everything!"

Coriolanus felt his grip on her tighten at her words. She couldn't have guessed that. No one else could have told her that either. Sejanus must have told her. Why would he have told her such a thing? His stomach tightened, thinking back to that day.

Coriolanus groaned as he rode Sejanus' cock in their bed. He felt so good inside him, he always did. He felt so full, a perfect stretch. He glanced down at Sejanus, who was gazing up at him. It was all heated, heavy lidded and he was moaning too, reaching up to grab his hips to tug him back down to bottom out inside him

"Fuck Sej, so good. Fuck, you feel so good inside me baby. I...." His phone ringing shattered the moment and he glared at the inanimate object as though it had personally offended him. Who was possibly calling him right now? Who cared...Not when Sejanus was fucking him like this. Whoever it was could wait.

"Do you...if you have to..." Sejanus glanced at the phone in matching irritation at being interrupted.

"No..... for fucks sake." Coriolanus growled, angry at whoever the caller was and not at Sejanus. He reached over to the bedside table, wondering if he shouldn't just throw the damn thing against the wall. His eyes darkened in anger when he saw who the called was. "It's just bloody Livia." He threw the phone on the bed just as it stopped ringing. He breathed a sigh of relief for the silence before he started to move on his cock again with a groan. "Sej... Sej.... Fuck, I love your cock and I...."

The phone started to ring again and Coriolanus glared at it for the audacity of a second interruption. He was determined to ignore it but then Sejanus was grinning up at him wickedly.

"Answer it." Sejanus reached over to grab the phone and shoved it in Coriolanus' hands. He stared down at him, surprised but then he laughed softly, panting as he answered the phone. "What do you want Livia?"

The conversion had been boring, aggravating but watching the amusement and joy and arousal it had brought Sejanus was worth the interruption. He paused his own movements, trying to balance himself on Sejanus' lap with a phone in hand but then Sejanus was snapping his hips up, making a gasp falling from his lips. He couldn't help the glare he gave to Sejanus but then he was swallowing back a laugh at him and a hiss at Livia as he told her that he had just stubbed his toe on the treadmill because she was distracting him.

It hadn't been too long before he had hung up on her, snapping that she knew his family signature flower was roses so why was she even talking about orchids. She was wasting his time and with that he'd hung up on her. He'd thrown the phone aside before he looked down at Sejanus with a grin and a chuckle.

"You little minx!" he had leaned down and kissed him deeply then, hoping the little stunt had satisfied whatever Sejanus had felt the need for. "I almost think you want us to get caught."

Coriolanus came back to the present moment, his eyes now scanning the room for Sejanus. He saw him finally, still at the table. He could only make brief eye contact with him as he moved Livia around the dance floor. He needed to go to him, they needed to talk. He wanted to understand, wanting to know just what had happened. Was he alright? If Livia had upset him in any way, she would be incredibly displeased with the outcome.

[d2sejanus--plinth]

Needless to say, he was morose. His feelings tangled in his chest and the knot was just feeling tighter and tighter, even tighter now that he was ensconced inside, in the venue, in the place where the love of his life was getting married to someone else. It was all so very unfair, but he understood why Coriolanus needed to do this, and he was going to support him in everything he needed, they had plans for the future, they weaved a specific future that they needed to come true. For their safety, for their happiness, it will all be worth it. But, now, he did feel worried; Livia was supposed to find out, one day, they still hadn't decided exactly when, but they surely hadn't bet on it being so soon, right on the day of their sham wedding. It was a little too close for comfort, but they were married already, and Livia had her hands mostly tied - sure, maybe she could bother them personally, in their private lives, but in front of the public she wouldn't dare say anything, not when she knew the people would also gossip about her, that they'll say all kinds of awful things about her, as well.

He tried to calm himself down, he felt bad, too, for losing it on her, he regretted it now, but it was done, he couldn't tug it back, no matter how much he wanted. He tried to find Coriolanus with his gaze, to quiet his racing heart, his roaming mind, to help himself a little, to comfort himself. It worked when he first landed eyes on him, he felt that he could breathe a tad more easily, that his chest didn't feel as constricted. Then, Livia was taking Coriolanus for a dance, and Sejanus was nothing but tension personified. He couldn't tell what they were talking about, of course, but even so, he was attentive to the minutest shift in Coriolanus' expressions, most people didn't know him like he did, no one knew him like he did. Livia leaned in and kissed Coriolanus.

Fuck, it hurt. It was like a knife lanced his heart over and over and over and over again. Embedded there and then twisted, again and again. It wasn't Livia's lips that were supposed to be on Coriolanus', no, only his. Only Sejanus'. He swallowed a knot in his throat, averted his eyes for a moment; it would look bad, too, if he was staring at them the whole time, but he was so curious, so apprehensive of whatever Livia would be telling Coriolanus about now. He couldn't guess. He could maybe see the brief furrow of an eyebrow but everything was just so very brief it might have been his imagination. Whatever it was, Coriolanus kept his composure, and to everyone else he would look like a newlywed in love. Ugh. He felt like he was going to be sick. Maybe he could blame it on the food.

They swung around some more, and, again, Sejanus felt a stab of envy, of jealousy, of bitterness, how it could, should have been him. They looked good, they really did. Two good looking people, together. He supposed Livia was good looking, though he couldn't really say, but others found her pretty. And Coriolanus.. Coriolanus was gorgeous in every way.

His legs felt weak when Coriolanus caught his gaze. Just for a second it felt like, and he was almost positive he looked like a kicked puppy. He wanted this to end so badly. When it did end, he heaved a sigh of relief and called his driver over almost immediately. He'd dropped a text to Coriolanus that he'll wait for him, Coriolanus knew where, he didn't need to specify, of course it was home. He didn't stay in his apartment beneath the penthouse, because he never stayed there. Instead he went up into the penthouse, took a quick shower because he felt even physically gross after having witnessed all of that and after having dealt with Livia. Dressed in soft pyjamas, poured himself a cup of tea, and waited in the kitchen, seated. They did have to talk. Tears sprang to his eyes again and he blinked them back.

He took a shaky breath in when he heard the door open.

[snowalwayslandsontop]

Coriolanus had wanted nothing more than to leave the wedding reception as soon as he noticed that Sejanus had slipped out early. He couldn't blame him for not wanting to witness this farce any longer, especially now that Livia knew of the reality of their relationship. She was all too smug about it, hiding it from their guests but he knew she was going to try and cause trouble for him, for them. She would be in for a very rude awakening before too long but Coriolanus knew he had to smile and wave and keep up the pretence of being so completely besotted by his new bride. So he had spent the remainder of the evening speaking with their guests, dancing with Livia and celebrating before finally they could leave the reception to begin their honeymoon. Livia had lost her temper when he had told her that she would spending the evening alone. "Excuse me?" Livia asked Coriolanus in the backseat of the car when he told their driver to drop Mrs. Snow at her apartment and that he would be carrying on to the Penthouse. "You didn't think I wouldn't go and see Sejanus, did you?" Coriolanus' tone was cold as he glanced across at her. "He left the reception after your little performance and besides, I would rather spend this evening in his company than yours." "I am your wife, Coriolanus Snow!" Livia snapped at him. "This is our wedding night." "You make the grave mistake of thinking I care. You and I never pretended that we married one another for love. We both have something to gain from this marriage and you do not require my physical presence for that. You married me so you can eventually become First Lady and I will give you that in time." Coriolanus viewed her as a simple tool. He needed a pretty wife to help him get elected when the time came for him to run for the Presidency. "And if I cause you and your boyfriend trouble?" Livia snarled back at him, shaking in rage. Coriolanus fell still for a moment at her words. He was in no mood for her tantrums. It had been a long day and all he wanted to do was go home and see Sejanus. But he would not allow her threat to go unanswered. "You still throw tantrums as if you are still a child on the school playground Livia and I won't tolerate them. You will not cause trouble for Sejanus and I because if you do, I will divorce you in the most public way possible. I will embarrass you and leave you in disgrace. No one will ever marry you again and you will never be First Lady." It was a weak threat and he had far worse ones on the tip of his tongue but he held back for tonight. "You're going to smile and wave as I require and do as I tell you. You are a tool Livia and you'll do well to remember that."

The rest of the car ride was silent and soon Livia had been dropped off at their new apartment and he was on the way to the Penthouse. He bit his lower lip, worried about Sejanus. He had text him already, to assure him that he was on the way. He knew he would be waiting for him at the Penthouse, their home. It should have been Sejanus that he had married today. Marrying Livia had been a necessity but the entire day had felt wrong. It should have been Sejanus standing at the alter beside him. They should have been having their first dance, greeting their guests together and driving off for the honeymoon they deserved. Coriolanus knew he had made the choice to marry Livia instead and for a moment, he cursed himself. But this was necessary. He knew he needed to show the people of the Capitol what they wanted to see. He had been gaining popularity lately, especially since he had become Head Game Maker. The time was drawing closer, when Ravinstill would resign or die and there had to be someone ready to take his place. He knew others would run against him but no one else had a hope. However he needed a few little boosts in popularity and he knew some in the Capitol thought he was too harsh and cold. He needed to give them the image of a 'family man'. A pretty Capitol wife and perhaps a child or two, to soften his image. Some in the Capitol would not want to see a 'single' man take the Presidency and so this was all a strategic move. It would ensure he would become President. It would ensure he could keep himself and Sejanus safe because right now, there were threats always looming far too close for comfort. Finally, he was letting himself into the Penthouse and closing the door behind him. "Sejanus." he called out into the quite apartment. He knew he would only be in the living room or the kitchen and within moments he found him sitting at the small table in the kitchen, holding a teacup. "I'm sorry, I got here as quickly as I could." Coriolanus moved across the room before leaning down and gathering him in his arms as best as he could at this angle. "Are you alright? Of course, you're not alright." It was a stupid question to even ask. Would he have been alright, if he had just watched Sejanus marry someone else? He knew he would have killed whoever had dared to touch Sejanus. "Livia told me she knows, about us. I don't care that she knows and I've told her so. This changes nothing. I love you and I always have."

[d2sejanus--plinth]

As the day passed he felt rather deflated. The satisfaction he felt at telling Livia the truth and humbling her a little faded in time, it dwindled until all he was left with was an aching bruise, and then a numbness. He regretted it quite a lot, especially because of the potential of them, of Coriolanus, getting in trouble in case Livia decided she wanted to make their lives hell one way or another. She was going to find out about them eventually, but she wasn't supposed to know so early, and that left him more than a little bummed out, it left him feeling afraid for their future. He hoped Coriolanus wasn't mad because of his impulsivity; he didn't think he was, but he really hoped there was nothing of that, because he didn't think he could endure negative feelings coming from the love of his life tonight. The day was already awful as it was.

The text he'd received that Coriolanus was on the way managed to calm him down some, to soothe his frazzled nerves. He was still feeling very drained, and the grief that crossed him was unimaginably terrible, but the knowledge that he'll sink into Coriolanus' comforting embrace soon was enough to keep his head above the water. He knew it was going to be a difficult day, but somehow it ended up even more disastrous than he thought it would be, and it was only his fault. He sipped more tea, it helped a little, his stomach was still in knots, however. He needed Coriolanus to an excruciating degree, the images of he and Livia kissing and dressed so elegantly as bride and groom were still swirling in his mind and making him feel sick.

His heart drummed to the beat of Coriolanus' steps on the floor, coming to him, he was feeling emotional even before he saw his face, but when he did it was even more so, an intense feeling, "Coryo," spilled a little weakly between bitten lips, and when Coriolanus leant down to hug him he instead stood up quickly and curled himself all around him. Jumped at him enough that the force of the sudden hug was something else, but to feel him solid and to embrace him so tightly right away did help. His knees were shaky, his hands clutching so tight around handfuls of Coriolanus' shirt, right over his shoulder blades. "Fuck. Fuck." It was relief that made him curse, when Coriolanus said he didn't care that Livia knew.

"I'm sorry I told her. I got so angry, she got me so angry, I shouldn't have been alone with her, I should have left right away," tears spilled over his cheeks, and he pulled back just enough to look at Coriolanus, his frantic hands now caressing at his face, holding his jaw, as if assuring himself he were real, that he was there and not anywhere else, not with Livia, never. "I love you so much. I never meant to put you in danger," he swallowed thickly, leant in for a short but emotionally charged kiss, a little wet as he cried. "I'm not alright, but I'm strong. And I'm with you, Coryo," images of today washed over him again and he winced, "today was fucking torture, but it's done. It's done."

"Did she say anything? Did she threaten you?" he asked with glistening eyes, holding over Coriolanus' face, cupping his cheeks, and he was sure he looked murderous, because even the thought of Livia doing anything of the sort just ignited incandescent rage inside of him. "I know it's not going to be easy, but it's you and I, love. And we can do anything." He was sure of it, and he's always been sure of it; they were unstoppable together, and Coriolanus was going to get what he wanted, and Sejanus was going to get what he wanted, too, the most important of all being a happy, satisfied, right at the top Coriolanus Snow.

[snowalwayslandsontop]

Coriolanus could hear the pain in Sejanus' words as the gravity of the situation fully dawned upon him. Yes, forcing Sejanus to watch the Games was indeed awful especially because he believed Ravinstill knew of Sejanus' distaste and even hatred for them. But it was also far bigger than that, it was a lingering threat against the two of them. He could get Sejanus through seeing the first few hours of the Games as they played out, he was sure of it. But it would be a great deal harder to guide them through the treacherous road ahead of them with Ravinstill as an enemy. He was still the most powerful man in the country and that meant they were at risk. Coriolanus pressed a kiss against his forehead as Sejanus promised him that he would protect him. He knew exactly what he meant, even if he hadn't said the words outright. It pleased him, made him feel completely and utterly loved and adored. It aroused him too, his gaze becoming heated as he thought of Sejanus being willing to kill for him. He would never ask him to do that. He would never want him to do that. Sejanus needed to keep his hands clean, as best as he could being his partner. He knew things became murky sometimes, messy. He knew Sejanus knew about Highbottom and Gaul, even if they never spoke about it. He didn't want Sejanus to get blood on his hands. He was willing to do that for them and Ravinstill would be no different. He would die when the time was right. Poison maybe, or suffering a heart attack or stroke. Perhaps a tragic assassination by rebels, where Coriolanus could use the chance to wield his power as Head of the War Department against the Districts and then be elected by a landslide soon afterwards.

"I know you would but I would never ask that of you. I love you too and I know what that would cost you." Coriolanus knew Sejanus already struggled with his position, bought and paid for in blood. At least that's how Sejanus saw it. Paid for by his fathers business, by him too as Game Maker. He had told him enough during some of their fights. He didn't want Sejanus to have to kill for him. He would find a way to keep them safe but until he could take care of Ravinstill with finality, they were going to have to tread very carefully. He had promised Strabo a long time ago that he would keep Sejanus safe and he would always uphold that promise. For Sejanus' parents but mostly for himself. He couldn't begin to imagine his life without Sejanus. To die with Sejanus was less horrifying than losing him. He knew he wouldn't survive long without him. He wouldn't want to Perhaps just long enough to burn down the world around him as a final vengeance before he would kill himself to be with his beloved.

He breathed a soft sigh of relief as Sejanus assured him that he hadn't sent anything to the Districts for almost 2 years. It was unlikely Ravinstill had discovered Sejanus' small acts of rebellion after such a long time. He knew he had always been careful and it had been almost impossible to trace back to him but he had always been worried. There was only so much he and Strabo could do to save him from the wrath of an unforgiving government. "Good." He rubbed his back softly. He knew how much Sejanus would have loathed to cease all assistance but it had been necessary once he had been promoted. The risk to them wasn't worth it. It never had been was but even more so now. Nothing was worth risking the life they had built together. "Oh? You think I will be President one day?" Coriolanus attempted to lighten the mood slightly with a warm smile as he stroked his cheek. Sejanus had always believed in him and the day they had been working towards was getting closer. This was simply yet another bump in the road. "Unfortunately, he has thrown me off balance and surprised me today. He knows it too, or at least suspects it." He cursed himself, at how quick he had tried to turn down the Presidents 'invitation', knowing Ravinstill had felt his reluctance. "I know I can't let him get to me but he knows exactly what he's doing by using you in this way." They had been more open about their relationship for many years now. They couldn't legally get married but they were husbands to one another in every other way. He knew they tried to hide just how truly devoted they were to one another, neither wanting it to be used against them. But he knew many suspected it and Ravinstill was clearly testing the waters here.

[d2sejanus--plinth]

Before, before this, before Coriolanus, before knowing what sickening devotion felt like, he would have never imagined that the thought of killing someone would ever cross his mind, even in self-defense - a man cursed with a gift of marksmanship, wanting so badly to be a pacifist, to help, to heal. He couldn't think too deeply about what he was doing nowadays, about the fact that, while his work at the hospital was important and he helped many people, he wasn't really helping the people who needed it most, but it kept him sane, somewhat sane. Coriolanus knew, too, that killing someone would be an inevitable deterioration of his soul, that he would be changed forever, and probably not in a good way, how could he? So, even as he knew that he was entirely willing and capable to do it, he felt relief too, flooding in, when Coriolanus assured him he didn't have to resort to anything like that. His sweetheart will take care of it, get blood on his hands, again.

"I love you. More than anything." He sighed, his chest felt all twisted up still, the tension still tight in his body, but Coriolanus' closeness, the way he stroked his back, his hair, his voice so close to him, sounding sweet and warm, it all helped, it helped him come back to his body, feel more grounded, more anchored into the moment rather than a ghost floating somewhere high to the ceiling, watching himself be absolutely broken. Coriolanus asked him whether he was still sending help to the districts, and he told him that no, not for a while, not since Coriolanus was promoted. It hurt, when he took that decision, he felt sick, he agonized over it, but he burrowed himself under work and more work and the warmth of Coriolanus' body against his and the sweetness of his mouth, he never forgot, not entirely, but, horrifyingly he discovered that over time he could live with it a bit easier, breathe a bit more easily. "Mm. I know I.. have to protect you. Protect us both."

He felt a bit more balanced, and he felt angry, too, and scared. As those emotions swirled within him, Coriolanus quipped, and his little witty remark made him smile, the stroke to his cheek was so tender - halfheartedly he smacked at Coriolanus' arm, very softly. "No. I know you will. Mister President." He had absolute confidence in that, and absolute confidence in Coriolanus, his drive and ambition. He leaned in, nuzzled his cheek against Coriolanus' cheek, felt more determined but still he was shaking, twitching a bit, it was getting better, "Yeah. It was calculating on his part. But you have to be stone. Impervious, my love." His cheeks still felt wet, but he was breathing easier now, his lips found Coriolanus', just a brush, he breathed shakily against them. "You can't think about me when you're doing your job. Not at all. I will be alright. I will do so well."

[snowalwayslandsontop]

"I love you too Sejanus. More than anything. I promise I'll keep you - us - safe." Coriolanus held him tightly against his chest, stroking his hair gently. He could feel him coming down from his panic attack, feeling his breathing slowly and his heart no longer racing as it had been. He was used to these panic attacks, which had happened more in their younger years than now. He had them too on occasion. From the war, from the 10th Games and sometimes even over what happened in 12. They'd been through so much. Apart and together. But now they had each other and Coriolanus was certain they could get through anything, as long as they had each other. "We will protect each other." Coriolanus knew that he couldn't do this alone. Not this time. Ravinstills time would come. But in the meantime, he and Sejanus were going to have to do this together. Sejanus had been roped into participating. "I know I won't be able to be with you during the Games and I am sorry for that." Sejanus had attended last years Victors crowning, wanting to show his support for him. He knew it hadn't been easy but a necessary move, to ensure they presented a united front. He wouldn't be able to be there, quietly reassuring him with a glance or a hand at his back or a soft touch of his hand. He was used to navigating the Capitol but this was different. They wasn't a polo match or a night at the opera. "Maybe you can take Maple? Makes you appear a little more eccentric." His tone was lighter than he felt and pressed a kiss against his temple. Their dog was hardly the same as him being there but she would be company and provide some comfort. "I can see if Clemmie has been invited but I doubt she scored an invitation from the President." This was a rather exclusive invitation list. Only the closest to the President and the Games were welcome.

Sejanus' quip of calling him Mr President made him smile and he felt the tension ease slightly in his body. It was something they had been speaking about for some time, even out in 12 and certainly since they had returned to the Capitol. The time was coming, the prize was in sight now. The soft nuzzle Sejanus gave him calmed him further but his grip tightened as he felt Sejanus was still shaking. Yes, it was a calculating move on Ravinstills part. He had known exactly what he was doing. He knew Sejanus was right, that he couldn't spend those opening hours of the Game being distracted. A mistake could cost them everything, even their lives. "I know you'll do well Sej. We both will." The soft kiss made him smile and he stroked his cheek, feeling the dampness there from his earlier tears. "We're in this, together." He leaned forward to press their foreheads together.

[d2sejanus--plinth]

"I know you will, my love," his temporary insanity earlier was just that, temporary insanity, his mind broke when he panicked and he registered even Coriolanus as danger, but now he was starting to come down from that terrible feeling entirely, the dread the was deflating some, wasn't feeling as urgent. Of course, one couldn't help but feel afraid of one's own life, it was only instinctive, but more than his own life he was always terrified for Coriolanus' life and for what would happen to him if he were to be dispensed with. He didn't want to leave him alone, his stomach twisted uncomfortably, a stab of fear hitting his heart again.

"I love you. I know you would've been with me, if you could. I know you'd have held my hand," his smile was small, Coriolanus' touch, no matter how little, was always a soothing balm, such a cloud of comfort settling over him, even the paltriest thing, even a pinky touching his wrist, "you have your work to do. It's okay." And what work! Terrible work, but also one of the most important in the Capitol. He was dreading everything that had to do with it, even more because he knew it could take hours, though, of course, the guests to attend the viewing weren't forced to stay there every minute, and they could take breaks. He knew he'll have to take breaks when the majority of them took them, and not evade it more times than necessary, to not stand out.

He burrowed further in Coriolanus' embrace, kissing at his chin, his jaw. Nuzzling against it and wanting to just roll around in his scent, in his warmth, the safety that he represented. Coriolanus' suggestion made him hum, it wasn't a bad proposal, though he hoped Maple could sleep or something during the viewing, so that their baby wouldn't have to see all that grotesque horror. "Yeah. It would calm me down a bit to have Maple there." He laughed when Coriolanus finished off with how it could make him look a bit more eccentric. "Eccentric.. should I also get a cane or something? I can say it's for my knee. That it acts up sometimes." It acted up very rarely, and it recovered nicely, but he figured Coriolanus didn't mind if he intrigued some people. Coriolanus himself liked to appear a bit mysterious. It was mostly a joke, mostly.

Of course Sejanus knew he was going to be president. He was on the track for it, and he was already very popular — once Ravinstill was gone, by whatever means, Coriolanus was going to swoop in and he knew the people were going to be charmed. He leant close, arms wrapped around Coriolanus however he could, kissing him, a tender brush of lips that made his heart flutter with love, again that all encompassing feeling of safety. "Yeah. I trust you." He cupped Coriolanus' face, fingers stroking tenderly over his cheekbones, "You and I, Coryo." He felt softer now, more languid, a lot of the tension leaking out from him until it left him a mush in Coriolanus' arms. "I should have greeted you with yummy food and instead it was.. this," Ravinstill had definitely spoiled their night, but it could be recovered, "can we have some wine? Take a bath? Just do something relaxing together. I don't want to think."

[snowalwayslandsontop]

Coriolanus was pleased that Sejanus reacted positively to the suggestion that Maple could perhaps attend with him. It wasn't ideal but it was something. He knew Sejanus found great comfort in her company. It was why he had surprised Sejanus with it shortly after he had been promoted. He had known his hours would becoming even longer and more erratic and he loathed the idea of Sejanus being here in the apartment alone. Coriolanus laughed at the suggestion of Sejanus adding a cane to his look for the Games, sobering only slightly at the mention of his old knee injury. He could still hear the crunch when Sejanus had crashed into the barrier in the arena, the snap of the bone sickening loud in the all too quite Arena. He reached out with a soft him, his hand stroking his knee through his pants. "Hmm, yes and just the right hat too. Perhaps we can find Maple a matching one?" He was only half kidding, although it would certainly be a sight to behold. Would it show Sejanus as a weakness and a liability to him or assure the President that Sejanus was no threat to him? "I love you too Sejanus." Coriolanus had long been comfortable with uttering those words quietly between them, ever since they'd been together in 12. It had confused and terrified him at first and yet, somehow being with Sejanus had just felt right, from the first moment they'd kissed one another. "I'm still sorry that you're getting swept up in all of this." It was inevitable, a natural outcome to everything he - they - had been working towards. He couldn't take credit for it all because he knew the role Sejanus had played in all of this. His loving and supportive partner in all of this since the beginning. They'd both become popular as a couple since returning to the Capitol, especially in the past few years. Naturally Ravinstill saw him as a threat now and unfortunately that extended to Sejanus too. Things were different now. The Capitol had completely much of it's rebuild and relied less on the Plinth bank account. What might have kept Sejanus and even him protected by proxy was no longer a factor and he knew Ravinstill would see them both executed if it served his purpose. Coriolanus needed to make sure that they ended up the Victors and not the defeated. "You greeted me with you, looking peaceful and resting which is more than I could have hoped for." He wasn't sure he could stomach much food tonight, even though Sejanus did enjoy spoiling him with the most delicious meals. They had staff who cooked and cleaned but Sejanus insisted on cooking at least a few times a week where their schedules allowed it. He enjoyed the soft touches Sejanus offered him, the caresses calming them both down. He leaned down to press their foreheads together with a soft sigh. "You and I Sej. Always." Coriolanus knew there wasn't anything he wouldn't do to protect Sejanus, to protect them both. Snow lands on Top and while Sejanus wasn't officially a Snow yet , he was in all but name only. "A bath and some wine sounds perfect. "Would you like me to set up the bathroom while you get the wine?" A relaxing bath with him sounded a perfect way to try and salvage the evening.

[d2sejanus--plinth]

"A whimsical hat.. it would make a lasting impression, that's for sure," he could see, around him, that people were more and more eccentric as time passed, as the wealth of the Capitol increased (while the Districts starved), that people indulged in what Tigris would call high fashion. Bold, gaudy colors that weren't exactly to his taste, sure, a more eye-catching color now and again was nice, but he preferred not to stand out. He figured, with Coriolanus right now and even more into the future in his role as President he will have to get used to standing out; the man at the president's right side, always, someone who would, inadvertently, also be into the spotlight. Scrutinized. It was already happening, a lot, their more public dates weren't without incidents, ranging from the mildest offenses like people staring too long, to something more serious like reporters wanting to come up with some ludicrous story. "Could work. All I know is that Maple would look very adorable."

"I love you more," and he did, even with all the chaos, even with all that happen and will inevitably happen, the strength of his love was unwavering, it wasn't something to be trifled with, something to toy around with. His love, his loyalty for Coriolanus shined through always. "Thank you for saying that, love. That means a lot. I know you'd rather keep me safe from.. all that." Logically, of course, he knew. Sometimes emotions stirred and deep down he did know that this was the result of Coriolanus going after what he wanted, but he was willing to endure anything for him.

He cupped Coriolanus' face gently, held that precious face that he loved in his hands, that cold, beautiful, determined face, and leaned his forehead against his, drawing strength from mere contact. It was grounding, and now his panic attack seemed very far away, which he was grateful for. Coriolanus had dealt with it and with him very carefully, it was sweet. "Yeah. I suppose. I know you like watching me sleep sometimes," he said it with a grin as if he was about to call him creep, but it was the pot calling the kettle black, he also enjoyed watching Coriolanus sleeping now and again, when his features were so soft and serene. "Always, always. You're my beating heart, Coryo."

He kissed Coriolanus again, gently, all over his face, over his cheeks and his nose. His smile was soft, and he was truly feeling like mush, eager to sit against Coriolanus' chest and relax. "Yeah. Please. You can put in some of the lavender oil. Something sweet for tonight, my love? Red wine." He was always conflicted when he enjoyed such luxuries; but now he simply wanted to melt into Coriolanus' arms and forget about whatever was going on in the outside world. He pressed another kiss to his soft mouth, then scurried away to pick up the bottle of wine and two glasses, looking back at Coriolanus as he went, "Don't make it too hot, love."

[snowalwayslandsontop]

Coriolanus watched silently as Sejanus continued to cook the pancakes, the scent of them filling the apartment. It was comforting, domestic in a way he knew he had never felt before. Of course, he had a family home and a family in Tigris and Grandma'am. But they had struggled for so long, ever since the war they had always been scrambling. To pay the money owed on the Penthouse, to put food on the table, to pay their bills, to keep warm in winter and cool in summer with the holes in their walls. Home had always been a point of stress for him, feeling the pressure to care for their Grandma'am and provide for his family when he couldn't even get a job while at the Academy. But this, this was blissful. Certainly not having to starve or make every piece of food they had stretch as far as possible was a relief but Coriolanus knew it was more about the company than anything else. Just indulging in each others company was more than Coriolanus could have asked for. They had been together in 12, almost all day, every day. But they had always needed to hide their true feelings for one another. Amongst the other Peacekeepers, they were simply friends. Best friends certainly but they'd had to sneak around to share even the vaguest hint of affection for one another. Here, at least in the apartment, they could just be together in whatever way they desired. "I'm happy to undertake the sacrifice of the burnt pancake. I did distract you after all." Coriolanus teased as he went about preparing their coffee and collecting their coffee mugs and bringing them over to the table as Sejanus finished making the pancakes and taking the fruit from the fridge. A feast that Coriolanus could have only dreamed about once. His stomach growled quietly and he was about to sit down across from Sejanus when he caught his wrist and tugged him closer, telling him to sit on his lap. Coriolanus chuckled softly. Once he did that, he knew breakfast would swiftly be forgotten but he also couldn't resist. "Hmm they do smell good but you smell better." He teased as he moved to sit down on Sejanus' lap. He leaned in and pressed a kiss against the side of his neck. "Are you trying to distract me from the meal you just spent time cooking?" He pressed another kiss just beneath his ear before he reached over to pour them both coffee from the pot he had placed down on the tray. "It's a shame we couldn't eat meals like this in 12. We would have caused quite a stir in the mess hall."

[d2sejanus--plinth]

He was more than happy to provide Coriolanus with the life he deserved, he always loved to spoil him, he could feel a bit of resistance back in Twelve, he could practically feel the stiffness Coriolanus would sometimes assume when Sejanus talked about giving him some of his money to send home, or anything like that. He knew that Coriolanus had quite the challenging time to not think of it as charity, as pity, to not feel offended, even, he always had that notion in his head that he needed to succeed himself, on his own, that he couldn't beg and he couldn't ask for help from others. He knew he had complicated, mixed feelings about it, but Sejanus couldn't feel more relieved when they were back in the Capitol and it seemed that Coriolanus' reluctance fell away. They were partners, in every way, and Sejanus needed him to understand that that meant they shared everything. Material or not, everything Sejanus had was Coriolanus', as well.

Even just watching him eat has been a delight, sure, in Twelve they were getting fed, but it wasn't anything tasty. Seeing Coriolanus enjoy something scrumptious and decadent was an experience in itself for Sejanus. He watched as Coriolanus moved about, gaze darting all over his body shamelessly, watching his slim, beautiful waist with a fond gleam. No way he wasn't going to hold that waist while they ate. "You did distract me. You're an incredible distraction." His smile was wide, and he caught onto Coriolanus' wrist, he was in his lap a second later, the air whooshing with the motion. It felt so good with him in his lap, the steady weight of him, the kiss to the crook of his neck making him shiver, such a pleasurable sensation. He was so beautiful. "Yeah? Even better than fluffy pancakes?" he nuzzled Coriolanus' temple and then into his hair, still clinging to him as he stretched to pour them coffee.

His hand was gentle on his waist, but a sure grip. Steady. "I'm not trying to distract you, I'm just trying to love you, handsome," he sounded entirely besotted, "I still can't believe I can just be all over you, however much I want. Ah, I just want to bite you." There wasn't a bite, but a kiss, on the shell of his pale ear, then a multitude of them showered on his perfect, broad shoulder. His lips twisted into a smile, one that was intrigued, and amused. "Quite the stir? We'd have caused a huge ruckus.. but I just know some of them would've also been envious of me." He was sure of it, Coriolanus was desirable anywhere, and he had seen his fellow peacekeepers, men and women, look his way a little longingly sometimes. He took a strong sip of his coffee. "I think a lot of them knew that you were my boy, though," his smile turned into a smirk, and he kissed Coriolanus' jaw, "as much as we tried to hide." Well, they did try, but sometimes they were reckless, too, driven by uncontrollable desire to be with each other. He pressed a kiss right on Coriolanus' soft mouth, before he cut into his pancake and took his first bite. "Try it, love. It's really good."

[d2sejanus--plinth]

[for our Modern AU because]

It was hot. It was too damn hot. Most of the shades in the apartment were down and the air conditioning was running constantly, but just knowing how hot it was was enough to feel it on the skin. The bare popsicle stick that hung from between Coriolanus' teeth, it's fresh and cold surroundings long gone, felt like a relic of better times.

Dressed only in gym shorts and a loose shirt that hung low off one shoulder, he walked languidly over to where Sejanus was and had been for at least the past half hour. He could ask him to make them both a drink but even that required more effort than he was willing to put out (he would have helped out, of course).

Draping himself over the back of the couch Coriolanus bit down on the now softened stick before taking it out of his mouth. "I can't take being cooped up in here anymore, it's like torture." He groaned next to Sejanus' head and poked his cheek listlessly with the popsicle stick. "And we're out of these."

The whirr of the air conditioning was the only sound he could hear for a while, after the slick noise of Coriolanus sucking on his popsicle stopped. It really was too hot, and even stripped down to his skin, he couldn't feel properly comfortable. The shorts he wore were his shortest pair, and he felt like ripping those off his legs, too. He watched Coriolanus languidly, and his lip turned up a fraction when he seemed bummed out about his icy treat now being gone. He looked cute when he was all dejected, and it never failed to make Sejanus want to rectify that immediately, the need simply tugging insistently at his heart.

His gaze took him in, wandering over his lovely legs and up his smooth, naked shoulder, over his pretty, dispirited face. "What if we take a cold bath," he suggested lazily, then couldn't stifle a chuckle at Coriolanus' dramatic groan and the way he poked his cheek with that popsicle stick. "No, we're not.. " He always kept a secret stash, because sometimes Coriolanus was going through them so darn quickly. And it truly was a crisis when he didn't have one at the ready, which was why Sejanus kept a few in hidden places. It was a bit of fun, and he loved taunting Coriolanus about it. "But I think there are only lemon flavored ones left." No, there weren't. Coriolanus' favorite, cherry, he always stocked up on.

He tilted his head, so his lips brushed Coriolanus' jaw, and then he nibbled there, sucked on the line of his jaw and then bit down. Coriolanus tasted salty, and he bet he tasted the same. His nape felt a little wet with sweat. The ice cubes in his water were not melted yet, and he beckoned Coriolanus over. "Come here, babe." He snagged his waist before he knew it and got him in his lap, straddling him, and fuck, it was hot. Distractedly, he scooped the ice cube out of his glass and pressed it to Coriolanus' neck. It seeped almost right away, water trickling to Coriolanus' collarbone, wetting his shirt, too. He smeared it all over Coriolanus' throat with a dazed smile, leaned in to kiss and bury his face to the cold skin, to suck up the drips of water.

[d2sejanus--plinth]

@snowalwayslandsontop

Today marked six months since Coriolanus was sworn in as President of Panem. It had been a horrifically busy six months, which both of them anticipated, but it was filled with many good things, too, and the best of them was their wedding preparations. Sejanus was never going to put up with Coriolanus leaving all of the organization to him, and he didn't, no, he was accompanying him to every important appointment, be it their venue, or their choosing their suits, or the flowers for the wedding, Coriolanus was as involved as he'd hoped and wanted, and he was burning to get married to him, even as they'd lived together, as good as married, for years. He was looking forward to this much more than he looked forward to Coriolanus becoming President, but of course that was a monumental, incredible moment, for him, too, but especially for his soon to be husband, who radiated satisfaction and reserved joy that day, his beautiful man who charmed the crowd with a few carefully selected words.

He looked just as stunning now, talking over the podium, looking sharp, his voice booming and yet still so calm and steady, and his people stopped their clamoring to hear all that he had to say. The power that he wielded was dizzying, Sejanus couldn't deny. He, too, in a way, was only one of Coriolanus' followers, if only a bit more important. Maybe a lot more. He was transfixed, watching from the sidelines as Coriolanus went on to talk about the inaguration of a new wing to the children's hospital, new and shiny equipment soon to follow. Sejanus was ecstatic for his fellow doctors who worked there, and maybe it was Sejanus, too, who gave Coriolanus a little push in this direction. No one knew that their fresh, poised president could be convinced with a few thigh kisses and a honeyed voice, no one needed to know.

He clapped vigorously along with everyone else beside him and the crowd, watching Coriolanus with shining eyes. Coriolanus turned, a little into his direction, and gave him a tight lipped smile that Sejanus returned helplessly, grinning from ear to ear. It was loud, the clamoring of the people was far from defeaning but it was far from insignificant too. Even through all the ruckus, he heard it clearly, so intimately familiar with the sound that he couldn't possibly mistake it for anything else: a gunshot.

His ears clogged immediately. Coriolanus was still looking at him, but now he could see only horror clamping his sweet face, his eyes wide. When Sejanus' gaze darted downwards, he could see the left side of the chest of his suit become saturated with blood.

His suit was white. His suit was red..

"Let me through! Let me through.." he could hear his voice as if it were above him, muffled, there was a circle formed around Coriolanus already, before he even stood up, and he wrestled his way in, elbows digging into the sides of whoever tried to slow him down, he thought he roughly pushed someone to the side, but he wasn't sure. Sweat poured from his scalp, his heart beating a mile per minute.

"Coryo! Coryo," his throat was stinging, how many times had he called out his name? It was a blur, he found himself on his knees with Coriolanus on the ground and the screaming coming from all sides, from the crowd, from the people surrounding them, he was panting, his chest heaving with his struggling breaths. His hands were bloody where he pressed on the wound.

More blood gushed out and his hands were slick, he was desperately trying to push down, to make the bleeding slow down, tears were flying from his cheeks and onto his hands as well, onto Coriolanus' chest. Everything was spinning, and he thought he was going to pass out. "They're coming, they're coming, please— please, don't die. Don't leave me alone. Please. Please!"

[snowalwayslandsontop]

Coriolanus could hear the pain in Sejanus' words as the gravity of the situation fully dawned upon him. Yes, forcing Sejanus to watch the Games was indeed awful especially because he believed Ravinstill knew of Sejanus' distaste and even hatred for them. But it was also far bigger than that, it was a lingering threat against the two of them. He could get Sejanus through seeing the first few hours of the Games as they played out, he was sure of it. But it would be a great deal harder to guide them through the treacherous road ahead of them with Ravinstill as an enemy. He was still the most powerful man in the country and that meant they were at risk. Coriolanus pressed a kiss against his forehead as Sejanus promised him that he would protect him. He knew exactly what he meant, even if he hadn't said the words outright. It pleased him, made him feel completely and utterly loved and adored. It aroused him too, his gaze becoming heated as he thought of Sejanus being willing to kill for him. He would never ask him to do that. He would never want him to do that. Sejanus needed to keep his hands clean, as best as he could being his partner. He knew things became murky sometimes, messy. He knew Sejanus knew about Highbottom and Gaul, even if they never spoke about it. He didn't want Sejanus to get blood on his hands. He was willing to do that for them and Ravinstill would be no different. He would die when the time was right. Poison maybe, or suffering a heart attack or stroke. Perhaps a tragic assassination by rebels, where Coriolanus could use the chance to wield his power as Head of the War Department against the Districts and then be elected by a landslide soon afterwards.

"I know you would but I would never ask that of you. I love you too and I know what that would cost you." Coriolanus knew Sejanus already struggled with his position, bought and paid for in blood. At least that's how Sejanus saw it. Paid for by his fathers business, by him too as Game Maker. He had told him enough during some of their fights. He didn't want Sejanus to have to kill for him. He would find a way to keep them safe but until he could take care of Ravinstill with finality, they were going to have to tread very carefully. He had promised Strabo a long time ago that he would keep Sejanus safe and he would always uphold that promise. For Sejanus' parents but mostly for himself. He couldn't begin to imagine his life without Sejanus. To die with Sejanus was less horrifying than losing him. He knew he wouldn't survive long without him. He wouldn't want to Perhaps just long enough to burn down the world around him as a final vengeance before he would kill himself to be with his beloved.

He breathed a soft sigh of relief as Sejanus assured him that he hadn't sent anything to the Districts for almost 2 years. It was unlikely Ravinstill had discovered Sejanus' small acts of rebellion after such a long time. He knew he had always been careful and it had been almost impossible to trace back to him but he had always been worried. There was only so much he and Strabo could do to save him from the wrath of an unforgiving government. "Good." He rubbed his back softly. He knew how much Sejanus would have loathed to cease all assistance but it had been necessary once he had been promoted. The risk to them wasn't worth it. It never had been was but even more so now. Nothing was worth risking the life they had built together. "Oh? You think I will be President one day?" Coriolanus attempted to lighten the mood slightly with a warm smile as he stroked his cheek. Sejanus had always believed in him and the day they had been working towards was getting closer. This was simply yet another bump in the road. "Unfortunately, he has thrown me off balance and surprised me today. He knows it too, or at least suspects it." He cursed himself, at how quick he had tried to turn down the Presidents 'invitation', knowing Ravinstill had felt his reluctance. "I know I can't let him get to me but he knows exactly what he's doing by using you in this way." They had been more open about their relationship for many years now. They couldn't legally get married but they were husbands to one another in every other way. He knew they tried to hide just how truly devoted they were to one another, neither wanting it to be used against them. But he knew many suspected it and Ravinstill was clearly testing the waters here.

[d2sejanus--plinth]

Before, before this, before Coriolanus, before knowing what sickening devotion felt like, he would have never imagined that the thought of killing someone would ever cross his mind, even in self-defense - a man cursed with a gift of marksmanship, wanting so badly to be a pacifist, to help, to heal. He couldn't think too deeply about what he was doing nowadays, about the fact that, while his work at the hospital was important and he helped many people, he wasn't really helping the people who needed it most, but it kept him sane, somewhat sane. Coriolanus knew, too, that killing someone would be an inevitable deterioration of his soul, that he would be changed forever, and probably not in a good way, how could he? So, even as he knew that he was entirely willing and capable to do it, he felt relief too, flooding in, when Coriolanus assured him he didn't have to resort to anything like that. His sweetheart will take care of it, get blood on his hands, again.

"I love you. More than anything." He sighed, his chest felt all twisted up still, the tension still tight in his body, but Coriolanus' closeness, the way he stroked his back, his hair, his voice so close to him, sounding sweet and warm, it all helped, it helped him come back to his body, feel more grounded, more anchored into the moment rather than a ghost floating somewhere high to the ceiling, watching himself be absolutely broken. Coriolanus asked him whether he was still sending help to the districts, and he told him that no, not for a while, not since Coriolanus was promoted. It hurt, when he took that decision, he felt sick, he agonized over it, but he burrowed himself under work and more work and the warmth of Coriolanus' body against his and the sweetness of his mouth, he never forgot, not entirely, but, horrifyingly he discovered that over time he could live with it a bit easier, breathe a bit more easily. "Mm. I know I.. have to protect you. Protect us both."

He felt a bit more balanced, and he felt angry, too, and scared. As those emotions swirled within him, Coriolanus quipped, and his little witty remark made him smile, the stroke to his cheek was so tender - halfheartedly he smacked at Coriolanus' arm, very softly. "No. I know you will. Mister President." He had absolute confidence in that, and absolute confidence in Coriolanus, his drive and ambition. He leaned in, nuzzled his cheek against Coriolanus' cheek, felt more determined but still he was shaking, twitching a bit, it was getting better, "Yeah. It was calculating on his part. But you have to be stone. Impervious, my love." His cheeks still felt wet, but he was breathing easier now, his lips found Coriolanus', just a brush, he breathed shakily against them. "You can't think about me when you're doing your job. Not at all. I will be alright. I will do so well."

[snowalwayslandsontop]

"I love you too Sejanus. More than anything. I promise I'll keep you - us - safe." Coriolanus held him tightly against his chest, stroking his hair gently. He could feel him coming down from his panic attack, feeling his breathing slowly and his heart no longer racing as it had been. He was used to these panic attacks, which had happened more in their younger years than now. He had them too on occasion. From the war, from the 10th Games and sometimes even over what happened in 12. They'd been through so much. Apart and together. But now they had each other and Coriolanus was certain they could get through anything, as long as they had each other. "We will protect each other." Coriolanus knew that he couldn't do this alone. Not this time. Ravinstills time would come. But in the meantime, he and Sejanus were going to have to do this together. Sejanus had been roped into participating. "I know I won't be able to be with you during the Games and I am sorry for that." Sejanus had attended last years Victors crowning, wanting to show his support for him. He knew it hadn't been easy but a necessary move, to ensure they presented a united front. He wouldn't be able to be there, quietly reassuring him with a glance or a hand at his back or a soft touch of his hand. He was used to navigating the Capitol but this was different. They wasn't a polo match or a night at the opera. "Maybe you can take Maple? Makes you appear a little more eccentric." His tone was lighter than he felt and pressed a kiss against his temple. Their dog was hardly the same as him being there but she would be company and provide some comfort. "I can see if Clemmie has been invited but I doubt she scored an invitation from the President." This was a rather exclusive invitation list. Only the closest to the President and the Games were welcome.

Sejanus' quip of calling him Mr President made him smile and he felt the tension ease slightly in his body. It was something they had been speaking about for some time, even out in 12 and certainly since they had returned to the Capitol. The time was coming, the prize was in sight now. The soft nuzzle Sejanus gave him calmed him further but his grip tightened as he felt Sejanus was still shaking. Yes, it was a calculating move on Ravinstills part. He had known exactly what he was doing. He knew Sejanus was right, that he couldn't spend those opening hours of the Game being distracted. A mistake could cost them everything, even their lives. "I know you'll do well Sej. We both will." The soft kiss made him smile and he stroked his cheek, feeling the dampness there from his earlier tears. "We're in this, together." He leaned forward to press their foreheads together.

[d2sejanus--plinth]

"I know you will, my love," his temporary insanity earlier was just that, temporary insanity, his mind broke when he panicked and he registered even Coriolanus as danger, but now he was starting to come down from that terrible feeling entirely, the dread the was deflating some, wasn't feeling as urgent. Of course, one couldn't help but feel afraid of one's own life, it was only instinctive, but more than his own life he was always terrified for Coriolanus' life and for what would happen to him if he were to be dispensed with. He didn't want to leave him alone, his stomach twisted uncomfortably, a stab of fear hitting his heart again.

"I love you. I know you would've been with me, if you could. I know you'd have held my hand," his smile was small, Coriolanus' touch, no matter how little, was always a soothing balm, such a cloud of comfort settling over him, even the paltriest thing, even a pinky touching his wrist, "you have your work to do. It's okay." And what work! Terrible work, but also one of the most important in the Capitol. He was dreading everything that had to do with it, even more because he knew it could take hours, though, of course, the guests to attend the viewing weren't forced to stay there every minute, and they could take breaks. He knew he'll have to take breaks when the majority of them took them, and not evade it more times than necessary, to not stand out.

He burrowed further in Coriolanus' embrace, kissing at his chin, his jaw. Nuzzling against it and wanting to just roll around in his scent, in his warmth, the safety that he represented. Coriolanus' suggestion made him hum, it wasn't a bad proposal, though he hoped Maple could sleep or something during the viewing, so that their baby wouldn't have to see all that grotesque horror. "Yeah. It would calm me down a bit to have Maple there." He laughed when Coriolanus finished off with how it could make him look a bit more eccentric. "Eccentric.. should I also get a cane or something? I can say it's for my knee. That it acts up sometimes." It acted up very rarely, and it recovered nicely, but he figured Coriolanus didn't mind if he intrigued some people. Coriolanus himself liked to appear a bit mysterious. It was mostly a joke, mostly.

Of course Sejanus knew he was going to be president. He was on the track for it, and he was already very popular — once Ravinstill was gone, by whatever means, Coriolanus was going to swoop in and he knew the people were going to be charmed. He leant close, arms wrapped around Coriolanus however he could, kissing him, a tender brush of lips that made his heart flutter with love, again that all encompassing feeling of safety. "Yeah. I trust you." He cupped Coriolanus' face, fingers stroking tenderly over his cheekbones, "You and I, Coryo." He felt softer now, more languid, a lot of the tension leaking out from him until it left him a mush in Coriolanus' arms. "I should have greeted you with yummy food and instead it was.. this," Ravinstill had definitely spoiled their night, but it could be recovered, "can we have some wine? Take a bath? Just do something relaxing together. I don't want to think."

[snowalwayslandsontop]

Coriolanus couldn't help the grin that spilled from his lips as Sejanus teased him about taking him over the counter. Oh, but they'd already had sex everywhere through the apartment at every opportunity. It seemed that they couldn't keep their hands off on another. Now that they had much in 12 either, although they'd had to be restrained there. No one could know they were together. Peacekeepers were not permitted to date one another, lest they form loyalty to one another and not serving Panem. But here they could just be together, at least open in their own apartment. They hadn't really spoken about whether they would take their relationship public yet. He hadn't mentioned it to Tigris and he knew Sejanus hadn't told his parents yet but no one had made a comment on the fact they'd decided to live together. Coriolanus knew he didn't want to live apart from Sejanus, to used to sharing a space with him even if it had been at the barracks. They'd only shared a bed a few times, the last only a few weeks ago. The day of the Reaping of the 12th Hunger Games. He had known Sejanus had needed comforting. So had he. Both of their thoughts on everything that had happened during the 10th Games. How close they'd come to losing one another. He had crawled into his bed at 2am, knowing he was awake and just held him for hours just until the sun was rising and he knew the alarm would start to go off to rouse them all from sleep. At least now he could hold Sejanus whenever he wanted, which was all the time. He immediately felt the loss of him as he pulled away but reluctantly let him go and caught the boxers he threw him. "For safety." he agreed with a chuckle, pulling them on just before Sejanus grabbed his hand and tugged him out into their kitchen. Their kitchen. The thought made him smile. Theirs. He was kissing him again and again with a soft laugh before Sejanus pulled away to start the pancakes and he turned around to get a pot of coffee brewing. It still seemed strange, unfamiliar to simply have all this food in the cupboards. Food in the barracks had been plentiful but he would never forget how sparse things had been before he had left. He had already taken several bags of groceries over to Tigris and his Grandma'am and he knew he needed to find a way to get them into a better apartment than they were in now. Maybe even find a way to get the Penthouse back. It hadn't sold yet, he had already checked. He took out the mugs, plates and cutlery for their meal, setting the table before he returned to the kitchen. Sejanus was busy mixing the batter and he couldn't resist moving over to wrap his arms around him from behind, placing a soft kiss against the back of his neck. They were back in the Capitol. Together. Safe. It was more than he could have hoped for.

[d2sejanus--plinth]

This was exactly what they needed — a few weeks, really, away from everything, a little delay to the beginning of the rest of their lives, it was too soon to get entrenched in all that meant Capitol and whatever else were their plans for their future, he didn't want to think, he didn't want to think too much, just wanted to love Coriolanus, to snag every precious moment he could get with him. To be affectionate openly in their own sanctuary, to foster and nurture intimacy so their bond would strenghten. While physical intimacy was hardly the most important pylon for their relationship, it was one that also needed to be paid attention to, especially as they couldn't love each other freely back in Twelve.

That was his only plan for today, and tomorrow, and the day after tomorrow, to love Coriolanus, so, with that in mind, he brought the man along with him and into the kitchen, ready to make him some thick, fluffy pancakes to feast on, they needed the energy. He was stupidly pleased to see Coriolanus eat decently much these days, he had filled out when they were peacekeepers, had grown some muscle, and Sejanus was just starry eyed watching him when he indulged. He had to kiss him a few times before he could get anything started, just addicted to those lips, but, eventually, he managed to gather the needed ingredients for the batter. A comfortable silence settled over them, there was the sound of utensils being used and the brewing of the coffee and the sound of Coriolanus setting up their table, but there were no words, for a little while.

It felt so domestic — it was domestic, and Sejanus felt all giddy knowing that this was just going to be part of a routine, this was his life when he was being loved by Coriolanus Snow. Tranquil and yet exciting at the same time. All he's ever wanted, truly, from an age that was so tender. Even as the days passed and they'd been together for a while now, now and again he still had to pinch himself to check if it was all true.

Coriolanus came back into the kitchen, and Sejanus knew his steps by heart, anywhere he would recognize that gait. He felt those arms wrap around him in a sweet embrace, and that kiss on his nape melted him entirely, he felt his knees weaken. "I want to tell you to keep doing that, I don't know if I'll make some ugly pancakes, though," he laughed, took a fond glance back at Coriolanus, "because I'll be distracted." He took the ladle and scooped some of the batter, and poured it into the hot pan. Leaned back to kiss Coriolanus, to kiss along his jaw and his cheek, one of his hands going to the hands that were settled around his waist, to squeeze affectionately. "I like this a lot. I love this a lot," he whispered, delighted, kissed Coriolanus' lips quickly, once, twice, "I love you a lot." Then, he remembered as he was gazing away at Coriolanus, "My pancake!" It was a little burnt, but it was fine. He looked a little sheepish, and he poured another. "What did I tell you."

[snowalwayslandsontop]

Coriolanus smiled against Sejanus' neck, enjoying the quite intimacy they had settled between them since arriving back in the Capitol. He knew they'd both been nervous when they'd boarded the train, neither quite sure what to expect upon their return. Coriolanus hadn't know what would happen when he had sent that letter to Strabo. All he had known was that he'd had to get Sejanus out of 12. It had been become far too dangerous, far too risky. His involvements with the rebels, while meant with good heart, had become dangerous and treasonous. He had killed for Sejanus, again. Mayfair and Billy Taupe and Spruce. There had been no other way but even their deaths hadn't been enough to ensure Sejanus would remain safe. He'd sent the letter, not expecting that Strabo would also buy him a discharge and a trip home to the Capitol. "I love you alot. I don't care about ugly pancakes. Not once I have you in my arms." Coriolanus confessed as Sejanus turned around and kissed him, once, twice and then he went in to kiss him a third time. He loved this too. He loved him. He had been such a fool, blind for just how long over his true feelings for Sejanus. Had he always felt like this? Perhaps so but certainly since he had entered the Arena to save him, knowing there was a chance neither of them would come out of there alive. 'You have to stop rescuing me' 'I can't seem to control it. It's like a tic.' It had been true in the Capitol, when it was something simple as saving Sejanus from Gauls questions by deflecting or something as serious as saving Sejanus' life by taking the lives of three others. How many more times would he kill to save Sejanus? He knew he was prepared to do whatever it took to keep him safe. But for now, today, they were safe. They were together and they had a chance to indulge in one another. Even in 12, they'd had to hide their involvements. Always sneaking around and worried they'd be discovered. But here in their own home - and it was theirs - they could just be together. Coriolanus laughed when Sejanus declared that his pancake was now burnt, just as he had warned him. "It was worth it." He pressed a kiss against her shoulder. "I'll eat that one and I'll leave you in peace to cook the rest." He gave him one final squeeze around his waist before stepped back and went to pour them both coffee from the pot that was now ready.

[d2sejanus--plinth]

He did feel selfish for taking this happiness now, after all that happened, knowing how it all wrapped up neatly like this, for them, not for others, for others it ended horribly, others were killed, and some by his dearest Coriolanus, he thought he'd always carry his guilt around, but there were moments, like this one, when he was able to cast it aside, to shove it deep down, to ignore it. It was easy with the lush intimacy Coriolanus gave him, the attention, the affection, to be swayed by it, not only because he'd been lonely almost all of his life and he needed some random's attention, but because it was Coriolanus. The man that his heart settled on stubbornly, the boy that his heart clung to since they were eight years old.

Now, they were relaxing in their apartment, and Coriolanus was hugging him from behind, stealing his attention, so beguiling as always, Sejanus couldn't resist him. He turned in his arms and kissed him, once, twice, thrice, told him about how much he loves him, his heart constricted with it, his chest felt full, tight. More when Coriolanus told him he loved him a lot, that he didn't care about the pancakes being ugly at all, he was precious. He cradled his jaw in hand, leaned in again for a soft kiss, and then the idea of that pancake floated in his busy mind again. It was a little burnt, but nothing too bad.

"I have to agree, it was worth it for your lips," he smiled, leaned into Coriolanus' embrace, into that squeeze over his waist, "but you don't have to eat it. I can eat it. Or maybe we can share." It was a little thing, really, eating a slightly burnt pancake wouldn't be such an aggravating thing at all, but he did pride himself on making good food for Coriolanus. Even on just the short time they'd been back he already was almost always making some food for them, whatever he learnt from his mother, and he was delighted and felt so warm when Coriolanus liked it, when he devoured it.

There were about five more, sizeable pancakes that he flipped into the plate after, thick ones that will definitely sate their hunger. He cut up some fruit, strawberries and peaches, and took the chocolate spread from the cupboard, too, brought them all to the table. He sat down and snagged at Coriolanus' waist, "Sit in my lap, please?" so needily he asked, and he wasn't ashamed to be needy. "They smell so good, right? Look how golden."

[rimeoverreason]

It felt as if he was helping support a pillar, that if he were to let go of the umbrella handle the entire sky would fall down on top of them and crush them. It already felt like the air was being pulled out from his lungs as they continued to walk side by side with the thunder now almost a physical weight against them. But Coriolanus kept his breathing steady along with his hand, matching Sejanus' small smile with his own. "Just keep them in check, unless you're up for carrying me the rest of the way." There always seemed to be something extra just behind those deep brown eyes, some half-finished thought or action that continuously hovered about but never came in to land.

As Sejanus began speaking again he listened closely, the sound of the rain against the umbrella matching the tone of his words. A complimentary accompaniment that he'd have no problem listening to for the remainder of their walk. Though when he looked at him something caught in his throat when he brought up his family. As much as Coriolanus knew about how the Plinths were talked about there in the Capitol he was completely unaware of how they were treated back in their home District. He had a feeling it was far from pretty; the fact Sejanus' father got to where he was by aiding the Capitol would certainly not garner them any warmth from their own people, but the mention of gunshots pained an entirely new picture.

A picture not all too different from his own.

Coriolanus' hand dropped a bit down the handle, quite clearly hearing the echo of gunfire in his skull. Gunfire mixed with bomb detonations and parts of buildings collapsing. It took a moment for him to realize his hand was slightly overlapping Sejanus' and gripping the handle hard enough to turn his knuckles white. After a small shake of his head he let go, looking ahead though not focusing on anything. His stomach turned as he was asked the same question. Who knew that a simple walk home would result in such conversation. He'd been entrusted with his friend's story--friend? really?--and though he felt a burning rise up into his throat he wanted to get out what he'd kept to himself.

"The . . . it was the first big air raid here. I can still feel Tigris holding onto me, trying to keep me calm when she should've been the one being held. My mother should have been holding me but . . ." Coriolanus' voice faded as he continued to stare straight ahead, though the rainfall, as if he were looking far past the borders of the Capitol itself. A numbing sensation traveled downward from his head and his pace slowed. It was safe at home in his drawer, his mother's compact, safe and dry, and so he tried to imagine the smell of roses surrounding him, enfolding him. He didn't bother wiping his eyes even though he felt that particular pressure start to build behind them. "I was going to have a baby sister, I was supposed to, but," he stated before swallowing the lump in his throat, "but my mother couldn't get to a hospital so I lost them both."

He didn't care about not getting wet anymore. He felt like one solid wave of water had hit him straight on and stopped him dead in his tracks. He didn't want to look at Sejanus, didn't want to see how he was being looked at. All he wanted was for the walk to be over and to put that memory back into place. Back into the dark.

[d2sejanus--plinth]

I'm up for carrying you the rest of the way, he thought shamefully, a blush blossoming on his cheeks despite his attempts to push it down, to not let the heat of embarassment take over, it was all futile, the image popped in his head and couldn't, wouldn't leave, taunting him, the manifestation of a very small part of his desires. He knew he shouldn't feel ashamed of having those feelings, and he wasn't, not about the feelings themselves, but about them being about Coriolanus, who was likely entrusting him to have.. well, appropriate, friendly feelings for him, and not those mutinous, defiant feelings of want. Of warm, so warm of an affection, so all-encompassing. "Understood," it slipped, a bit belated, still with that impression of a smile on his face, inevitably shy and hoping Coriolanus either wouldn't catch up on it or wouldn't pry, though, he had a distinct feeling that he won't — Coriolanus was smart, he was brilliant, but sometimes more trivial things escaped his scrutiny easily, maybe he simply didn't pay attention to them.

When Coriolanus asked him why he didn't like the thunder, he debated for a second whether to say the simple truth or maybe turn the conversation to something less depressing, but he didn't want to lie or deceive Coriolanus in any way, and so, he was telling him — he was telling him about how they were despised in Two, infamous, about how they were targeted, about how the thunder eerily reminded him of gunshots when his thoughts drifted a bit, when his line of thinking caught in those memories. Like an arrowhead of a fish hook, his thoughts lanced into that memory and couldn't let go easily, couldn't come out cleanly. Every time it happened, it left him shaky. Coriolanus was looking at him, and he was looking at him, too, with a bit of an awkward smile. What a topic to bring up, what a dispiriting little story. There was a tingling feeling that spread from his hand, where Coriolanus' hand overlapped his, and into his arm and into his shoulder, so potent, but Coriolanus was squeezing tight, tight over his hand, and asking him if something was wrong was at the tip of his tongue.

The moment passed for him to ask, when Coriolanus looked ahead, and instead he asked about the thunder, about the fear of the thunder. He started to wonder if it was a good idea to ask when Coriolanus seemed.. a bit off, tilted, and he figured it must've been another story like his own. Coriolanus mentioned the bombs and — it made sense. He continued to watch him, tried not to stare, but just watch gently as he spoke, his heart taking on a quicker pace when Coriolanus' voice tapered off. "Yeah?" He didn't even know if he wanted to encourage the rest of that phrase, stunned when Coriolanus did finish it. Stunned, shocked, his nose burning right away, tears springing to his eyes. A tear that fell at the corner of his eye and he quickly wiped away.

"Oh, Coriolanus." What could one say, to such a tragedy? Coriolanus was so young then. "That must have been so awful." He couldn't imagine — yes, their other family, their family friends, too, all abandoned them, but he still had his parents, it was inconceivable. Coriolanus was slowing down, and he seemed dazed, the noise of the raindrops seemed suddenly defeaning. "Coriolanus," he tried again, touching over Coriolanus' hand that was gripping the handle, so very delicately, looking at him, the need to comfort him was an almost a physical thing, he felt like he would die if he didn't. "I'm so sorry that—that happened. Oh, Coryo." The moniker slipped out, he'd called him that only in his thoughts, but he didn't care to be embarrassed now, he held the umbrella with his other hand, and his arm curled a bit tentatively over Coriolanus' shoulders, patting him lightly on his shoulder blade, in a rhythmic motion. It was what his mother did, when he embraced him when he was upset.

They stopped in their tracks. The raindrops were loud, hitting the pavement, but not as defeaning as they felt earlier. Another thunder cracked the sky, and his hand gripped involuntarily at Coriolanus' shoulder. He was touching him more than he'd done, maybe ever, but it was all so instinctive he couldn't have stopped himself.

[snowalwayslandsontop]

Coriolanus had returned to the reception, mildly irritated that Livia was no where to be found. She should have been here waiting for him. Perhaps she had gone to fix her hair or make up. Either way, he wouldn't waste time searching for her. He would continue to work the room, knowing every single conversation he had and every relationship formed was another vote when the time was right. He wouldn't waste a moment of tonight, when he had a captive audience in good spirits on such an occasion. If only he had been marrying Sejanus, tonight could have been perfect.

Livia finally returned, looking slightly flushed but he paid little attention as she kissed his cheek and asked him to come and dance with her. He could't deny her. It was expected after all, this was their wedding day. Certainly the display would give their guests enough sentimental feelings, it might earn him some support. He took her hand, leading her over to the dance floor as he wondered where Sejanus was. He hadn't seen him come in and he couldn't look for him now when all eyes were on them and he was only supposed to have eyes for his pretty Capitol bride.

The band switched to a slow song as they noticed the bride and groom had taken to the dance floor. Coriolanus was vaguely aware of the soft gazes they were receiving from their guests. Perfect. At least this wasn't a completely wasted moment if it was getting them the attention they - he - needed. Livia pressed close to him and they moved around the dance floor in time with the music. They let the silence settle between them, a small fact that Coriolanus was relieved about. He noticed Sejanus had returned to his table and his heart ached for a moment for his beloved, having to witness this display of false adoration.

Livia looked up at him with a small smile suddenly and then leaned in and kissed him. He was surprised but he allowed it. They had an audience and he wouldn't make a scene. Besides, this was their wedding to he supposed it was appropriate. She pulled away after a few moments before she tilted her head to press her cheek against his. He assumed that would be the end of it but then she whispered in his ear.

"So, how long have you been fucking Sejanus Plinth?"

Coriolanus' stomach dropped at the question, his heart pounding. She knew. How? Had she seen them out in the courtyard or had something else happened? Was that where she had been? He hadn't anticipated that she would find out so soon, even though he and Sejanus had spoken about Livia eventually learning the truth about them.

"I don't know what you're talking about." Coriolanus continued to move her around the dance floor, desperately wanting to look for Sejanus but he couldn't. Not now, not yet.

"Don't play coy Coriolanus. It's not becoming. Sejanus told me all about just a few minutes ago. About you two living together in the Penthouse. No wonder you wouldn't let me even visit, let alone have me move in to your little love nest."

Sejanus never would have told her that, Coriolanus was certain. What had happened? Surely she hadn't just figured all of this out and at their wedding too? Had she had him followed? No, he was too careful. Had she seen them together out in the courtyard? She must have. They'd only been hugging but had someone been watching, it might not have been too hard to guess the real relationship between them. Was she bluffing about the Penthouse? Sejanus would never have divulged such secrets. He trusted him completely.

"Cat got your tongue?" Livia looked up at that, the barest hint of a smirk on her face. She knew better than to cause a scene, with all of Panems elite watching them. "Might make a nice change from having it down Sejanus' throat."

"No need to be crass Livia. That isn't becoming of a lady." Coriolanus leaned in and pressed a kiss against her cheek. "Neither is having a vivid imagination."

Livia was giving him a sickly sweet smile and Coriolanus knew she was about to stick in a metaphorical dagger. She leaned in closer, brushing a kiss against his cheek before she pressed her lips against his ear. To anyone watching, it would look like a sweet moment before newlyweds. In reality, she whispered.

"Neither is taking a phone call from your fiance about the flowers for your wedding when you're bed fucking your boyfriend. At the gym were you? Sejanus told me everything!"

Coriolanus felt his grip on her tighten at her words. She couldn't have guessed that. No one else could have told her that either. Sejanus must have told her. Why would he have told her such a thing? His stomach tightened, thinking back to that day.

Coriolanus groaned as he rode Sejanus' cock in their bed. He felt so good inside him, he always did. He felt so full, a perfect stretch. He glanced down at Sejanus, who was gazing up at him. It was all heated, heavy lidded and he was moaning too, reaching up to grab his hips to tug him back down to bottom out inside him

"Fuck Sej, so good. Fuck, you feel so good inside me baby. I...." His phone ringing shattered the moment and he glared at the inanimate object as though it had personally offended him. Who was possibly calling him right now? Who cared...Not when Sejanus was fucking him like this. Whoever it was could wait.

"Do you...if you have to..." Sejanus glanced at the phone in matching irritation at being interrupted.

"No..... for fucks sake." Coriolanus growled, angry at whoever the caller was and not at Sejanus. He reached over to the bedside table, wondering if he shouldn't just throw the damn thing against the wall. His eyes darkened in anger when he saw who the called was. "It's just bloody Livia." He threw the phone on the bed just as it stopped ringing. He breathed a sigh of relief for the silence before he started to move on his cock again with a groan. "Sej... Sej.... Fuck, I love your cock and I...."

The phone started to ring again and Coriolanus glared at it for the audacity of a second interruption. He was determined to ignore it but then Sejanus was grinning up at him wickedly.

"Answer it." Sejanus reached over to grab the phone and shoved it in Coriolanus' hands. He stared down at him, surprised but then he laughed softly, panting as he answered the phone. "What do you want Livia?"

The conversion had been boring, aggravating but watching the amusement and joy and arousal it had brought Sejanus was worth the interruption. He paused his own movements, trying to balance himself on Sejanus' lap with a phone in hand but then Sejanus was snapping his hips up, making a gasp falling from his lips. He couldn't help the glare he gave to Sejanus but then he was swallowing back a laugh at him and a hiss at Livia as he told her that he had just stubbed his toe on the treadmill because she was distracting him.

It hadn't been too long before he had hung up on her, snapping that she knew his family signature flower was roses so why was she even talking about orchids. She was wasting his time and with that he'd hung up on her. He'd thrown the phone aside before he looked down at Sejanus with a grin and a chuckle.

"You little minx!" he had leaned down and kissed him deeply then, hoping the little stunt had satisfied whatever Sejanus had felt the need for. "I almost think you want us to get caught."

Coriolanus came back to the present moment, his eyes now scanning the room for Sejanus. He saw him finally, still at the table. He could only make brief eye contact with him as he moved Livia around the dance floor. He needed to go to him, they needed to talk. He wanted to understand, wanting to know just what had happened. Was he alright? If Livia had upset him in any way, she would be incredibly displeased with the outcome.

[d2sejanus--plinth]

Needless to say, he was morose. His feelings tangled in his chest and the knot was just feeling tighter and tighter, even tighter now that he was ensconced inside, in the venue, in the place where the love of his life was getting married to someone else. It was all so very unfair, but he understood why Coriolanus needed to do this, and he was going to support him in everything he needed, they had plans for the future, they weaved a specific future that they needed to come true. For their safety, for their happiness, it will all be worth it. But, now, he did feel worried; Livia was supposed to find out, one day, they still hadn't decided exactly when, but they surely hadn't bet on it being so soon, right on the day of their sham wedding. It was a little too close for comfort, but they were married already, and Livia had her hands mostly tied - sure, maybe she could bother them personally, in their private lives, but in front of the public she wouldn't dare say anything, not when she knew the people would also gossip about her, that they'll say all kinds of awful things about her, as well.

He tried to calm himself down, he felt bad, too, for losing it on her, he regretted it now, but it was done, he couldn't tug it back, no matter how much he wanted. He tried to find Coriolanus with his gaze, to quiet his racing heart, his roaming mind, to help himself a little, to comfort himself. It worked when he first landed eyes on him, he felt that he could breathe a tad more easily, that his chest didn't feel as constricted. Then, Livia was taking Coriolanus for a dance, and Sejanus was nothing but tension personified. He couldn't tell what they were talking about, of course, but even so, he was attentive to the minutest shift in Coriolanus' expressions, most people didn't know him like he did, no one knew him like he did. Livia leaned in and kissed Coriolanus.

Fuck, it hurt. It was like a knife lanced his heart over and over and over and over again. Embedded there and then twisted, again and again. It wasn't Livia's lips that were supposed to be on Coriolanus', no, only his. Only Sejanus'. He swallowed a knot in his throat, averted his eyes for a moment; it would look bad, too, if he was staring at them the whole time, but he was so curious, so apprehensive of whatever Livia would be telling Coriolanus about now. He couldn't guess. He could maybe see the brief furrow of an eyebrow but everything was just so very brief it might have been his imagination. Whatever it was, Coriolanus kept his composure, and to everyone else he would look like a newlywed in love. Ugh. He felt like he was going to be sick. Maybe he could blame it on the food.

They swung around some more, and, again, Sejanus felt a stab of envy, of jealousy, of bitterness, how it could, should have been him. They looked good, they really did. Two good looking people, together. He supposed Livia was good looking, though he couldn't really say, but others found her pretty. And Coriolanus.. Coriolanus was gorgeous in every way.

His legs felt weak when Coriolanus caught his gaze. Just for a second it felt like, and he was almost positive he looked like a kicked puppy. He wanted this to end so badly. When it did end, he heaved a sigh of relief and called his driver over almost immediately. He'd dropped a text to Coriolanus that he'll wait for him, Coriolanus knew where, he didn't need to specify, of course it was home. He didn't stay in his apartment beneath the penthouse, because he never stayed there. Instead he went up into the penthouse, took a quick shower because he felt even physically gross after having witnessed all of that and after having dealt with Livia. Dressed in soft pyjamas, poured himself a cup of tea, and waited in the kitchen, seated. They did have to talk. Tears sprang to his eyes again and he blinked them back.

He took a shaky breath in when he heard the door open.

[snowalwayslandsontop]

Coriolanus couldn't help the grin that spilled from his lips as Sejanus teased him about taking him over the counter. Oh, but they'd already had sex everywhere through the apartment at every opportunity. It seemed that they couldn't keep their hands off on another. Now that they had much in 12 either, although they'd had to be restrained there. No one could know they were together. Peacekeepers were not permitted to date one another, lest they form loyalty to one another and not serving Panem. But here they could just be together, at least open in their own apartment. They hadn't really spoken about whether they would take their relationship public yet. He hadn't mentioned it to Tigris and he knew Sejanus hadn't told his parents yet but no one had made a comment on the fact they'd decided to live together. Coriolanus knew he didn't want to live apart from Sejanus, to used to sharing a space with him even if it had been at the barracks. They'd only shared a bed a few times, the last only a few weeks ago. The day of the Reaping of the 12th Hunger Games. He had known Sejanus had needed comforting. So had he. Both of their thoughts on everything that had happened during the 10th Games. How close they'd come to losing one another. He had crawled into his bed at 2am, knowing he was awake and just held him for hours just until the sun was rising and he knew the alarm would start to go off to rouse them all from sleep. At least now he could hold Sejanus whenever he wanted, which was all the time. He immediately felt the loss of him as he pulled away but reluctantly let him go and caught the boxers he threw him. "For safety." he agreed with a chuckle, pulling them on just before Sejanus grabbed his hand and tugged him out into their kitchen. Their kitchen. The thought made him smile. Theirs. He was kissing him again and again with a soft laugh before Sejanus pulled away to start the pancakes and he turned around to get a pot of coffee brewing. It still seemed strange, unfamiliar to simply have all this food in the cupboards. Food in the barracks had been plentiful but he would never forget how sparse things had been before he had left. He had already taken several bags of groceries over to Tigris and his Grandma'am and he knew he needed to find a way to get them into a better apartment than they were in now. Maybe even find a way to get the Penthouse back. It hadn't sold yet, he had already checked. He took out the mugs, plates and cutlery for their meal, setting the table before he returned to the kitchen. Sejanus was busy mixing the batter and he couldn't resist moving over to wrap his arms around him from behind, placing a soft kiss against the back of his neck. They were back in the Capitol. Together. Safe. It was more than he could have hoped for.

[d2sejanus--plinth]

This was exactly what they needed — a few weeks, really, away from everything, a little delay to the beginning of the rest of their lives, it was too soon to get entrenched in all that meant Capitol and whatever else were their plans for their future, he didn't want to think, he didn't want to think too much, just wanted to love Coriolanus, to snag every precious moment he could get with him. To be affectionate openly in their own sanctuary, to foster and nurture intimacy so their bond would strenghten. While physical intimacy was hardly the most important pylon for their relationship, it was one that also needed to be paid attention to, especially as they couldn't love each other freely back in Twelve.

That was his only plan for today, and tomorrow, and the day after tomorrow, to love Coriolanus, so, with that in mind, he brought the man along with him and into the kitchen, ready to make him some thick, fluffy pancakes to feast on, they needed the energy. He was stupidly pleased to see Coriolanus eat decently much these days, he had filled out when they were peacekeepers, had grown some muscle, and Sejanus was just starry eyed watching him when he indulged. He had to kiss him a few times before he could get anything started, just addicted to those lips, but, eventually, he managed to gather the needed ingredients for the batter. A comfortable silence settled over them, there was the sound of utensils being used and the brewing of the coffee and the sound of Coriolanus setting up their table, but there were no words, for a little while.

It felt so domestic — it was domestic, and Sejanus felt all giddy knowing that this was just going to be part of a routine, this was his life when he was being loved by Coriolanus Snow. Tranquil and yet exciting at the same time. All he's ever wanted, truly, from an age that was so tender. Even as the days passed and they'd been together for a while now, now and again he still had to pinch himself to check if it was all true.

Coriolanus came back into the kitchen, and Sejanus knew his steps by heart, anywhere he would recognize that gait. He felt those arms wrap around him in a sweet embrace, and that kiss on his nape melted him entirely, he felt his knees weaken. "I want to tell you to keep doing that, I don't know if I'll make some ugly pancakes, though," he laughed, took a fond glance back at Coriolanus, "because I'll be distracted." He took the ladle and scooped some of the batter, and poured it into the hot pan. Leaned back to kiss Coriolanus, to kiss along his jaw and his cheek, one of his hands going to the hands that were settled around his waist, to squeeze affectionately. "I like this a lot. I love this a lot," he whispered, delighted, kissed Coriolanus' lips quickly, once, twice, "I love you a lot." Then, he remembered as he was gazing away at Coriolanus, "My pancake!" It was a little burnt, but it was fine. He looked a little sheepish, and he poured another. "What did I tell you."

[rimeoverreason]

The grip over his hips that then slipped oh so wantonly over his ass almost tempted him to stay put, glued around Sejanus' waist for the rest of the evening. If it wasn't for the fact that Coriolanus particularly liked this club he would've dared to unbuckle and unzip Sejanus' perfectly fitted pants and slide his hand teasingly below the waistband. After a few moments his mouth would have certainly joined in.

However he didn't want them to be banned a . . . second time? Third? He hardly cared to keep track. But even as he swept his legs over to one side his attempt at getting up was halted by yet another kiss, attached to the assurance that wherever he wanted to go and whatever he wanted to do Sejanus would follow right along. Just that thought alone would've been enough to push him over the edge, to settle himself back upon his lap and slowly grind want against want. Yet his mind was already made up and there were other more private places they could be.

"I'd buy you anything you want, of course," he offered like a siren as he caressed Sejanus' face, slender fingers curling around his chin. "Anything that catches your eye on our way." Although Coriolanus' eyes still held their alluring charm he was being utterly serious. He would buy anything and everything for him, treat him to the best this life had to offer.

After finally putting his feet on the ground he extended his hand out, his head still in a swirl. He hardly heard the music anymore, hardly noticed the increasingly long stares other club-goers were tossing their way. He simply wanted to step back out into the night with his boyfriend right next to him. "I have no plan at all, handsome, but isn't that the best way to do things?"

[d2sejanus--plinth]

Out and about and tipsy — it was the perfect recipe for them to get loose, not that they were ever too prim or formal. The alcohol was merely an enhancement of their disinhibited spirits, and now it was making his head spin a little, but what was making his head all fuzy way more was Coriolanus and the glowing halo around him. He was gorgeous, as always, absolutely enthralling as he promised him the moon and the stars, buy you anything, of course, he said, his voice smooth and velvety. His touch, those fingers grasping around his chin had Sejanus feel all needy, quickly curling his fingers around his hand to hold it to his mouth and kiss it. A few sweet, little kisses in succession, and a playful nibble around the tip of his thumb.

"Mm.. the joys of being a kept man. You're spoiling me, love." He loved to joke around like that, though, to be fair, he wouldn't mind all too much to be Coriolanus' kept man.

Coriolanus was so serious when he spoke that he felt this wave of adoration crash onto him, he was lovely, and Sejanus knew he meant every word, and he clung to every word. It was utterly romantic and terribly devoted, and Sejanus indulged happily in the doting words. His eyes sparkled with affection as he watched Coriolanus slip off his lap. "You're catching my eye. You're already mine, though." A lascivious thought passed his mind, of Coriolanus posing as some sort of rent boy, and he paying for his services, and he locked that away preciously, to be brought up later, and shared lovingly with Coriolanus.

Coriolanus stuck his hand out, and he took it immediately. Promptly, he pulled himself up, and pleasantly discovered he was stable on his feet, really. As soon as he was up he curled his other arm around Coriolanus, languidly pushing his chest against his, and his mouth onto his; another kiss, a bit wet and careless, lighting up all of him, "Let's go on an adventure, then. My Coryo."

[rimeoverreason]

The umbrella opened up like a shield against the dark gray sky, against the uneasy feeling that tried to permeate his bones. It protecting them from getting wet was just a small bonus. Well, protecting him at least.

Coriolanus moved in closer only to see just how much protection Sejanus was sacrificing and he thought about saying something, even started to open his mouth, but upon hearing him chuckle and simply accept the situation he decided not to. That was practically Sejanus' thing, self-sacrifice, and at times Coriolanus wanted to see some selfishness from him. Greediness, even.

"Not too quickly," he said just as the thunder rumbled, freezing in his stride for only a second before continuing on, "somehow you always end up walking faster than I do." Now it was a fact that Sejanus was taller than him, a fact that sometimes annoyed him ever so slightly. However most times it was something he just accepted but was almost endeared to. For the moment it meant the choice between walking slightly faster or foregoing the protection of the umbrella altogether in order to keep his own pace. The increasing number of drops against the pavement made the choice an easy one.

Hearing that Sejanus also disliked the thunder evoked a kindred sort of feeling, a shared similarity that was oddly comforting. As the last rumble signaled the storm was creeping up on them steadily he kept his closeness and shot a quick glance around every now and then. Not that he felt anyone would be particularly interested in watching them--the rain was making it so there was no one around to even be interested--but it was still something that was like a rock in his throat, something hard to swallow.

Coriolanus could tell Sejanus wanted to ask him something or at the very least know more, and acquire it in whatever way it could be offered. So he decided to ask first. "What makes you not fond of it, the thunder I mean?" The wind blew a bit harder against their backs and he wrapped a hand around the upper portion of the umbrella to keep it steady. "I would've pinned you as someone who likes it."

[d2sejanus--plinth]

His lips quirked into a small smile, his expression did not denote any kind of guilt, but amusement instead, there had been maybe a couple times, when they walked together and Sejanus had inadvertently walked ahead of him a few steps, and watched as Coriolanus hopped over hastily. It was cute, really, but he never wanted to be inconsiderate, so he nodded. "Ah, sorry. I guess I got the longer legs." There wasn't much of a height difference between them, but the one that was did endear him, and the desire to reach over and pat Coriolanus' head was not a rare one, but he knew such action would likely not be appreciated, maybe even taken as offensive. Perhaps. He wasn't sure, even as much as he observed Coriolanus, many of his thoughts were too distant to grasp, presented in too flimsy of a manner for Sejanus to turn them over in his head, again and again, to understand them.

The thunder descended upon them again, another booming noise that resonated in his quicker than usual ticking heart. There was something unsettling about it, albeit he did feel more comfortable when he wasn't getting the full brunt of it like this, when he was inside, for example, when it was storming, where the noise would reverberate more faintly. He was curious about why Coriolanus didn't like it, and he could detect some anxiety coming off him, he could feel that he was on edge; he wished he knew how to comfort him.

"I don't mind it so much when I'm inside," he replied, glancing at Coriolanus' hand where he gripped at the umbrella, he could feel his shoulder getting soaked, bit by bit, but Coriolanus was dry, and that was more important, "The loudness of it all, it's startling. And.. " He looked over at Coriolanus, the smile that he flashed still genuine, but pained, a smile that spoke of an old bruise, one that still ached when you poked at it. "Well, as you know. My family is despised back home. Gunshots don't really sound much like thunder, but.. sometimes it reminds me of them. Of Ma and I huddling together at home, low to the ground. Reminds me of that fear."

He smiled, awkwardly this time. Held the handle of the umbrella with a firm grip, and looked at Coriolanus again, but not for too long, before his gaze fixed ahead, the drops were falling fast, and you could feel the smell of the pavement in the air. "And you? If you want to tell me."