Babyphat05’s Bougie Guide 101
- Why do you want to change/reinvent yourself? Whether it’s to gain more confidence, to be a better version of yourself or to be happy with yourself, write a list of reasons as to why you want to make a change. I highly recommend journaling, it is important to journal your intentions and in this situation, journaling how you envision your future self to be is important. Write down where you see yourself in the next couple of years, months, days, or even weeks down to the T. Writing how you see your future self is a guideline, it causes you to want to keep going and keep striving. I forgot where I got this from, but it’s a good visualization technique. Earlier last year, I wrote down four of my idols and listed all the characteristics of each of them (Example: Kimora Lee Simmons/Confident, bold, unapologetic, bougie, knows what she wants) and I eventually studied their characteristics and obtained them.
- Being Selfish with Your Time. When you make a decision to reinvent yourself and to go on a mental detox, cleansing your circle is extremely important. I read an article that says you should determine your current friends by asking yourself;
What kind of people surrounds me?
How are they acting towards me?
What are they doing for me?
Are they useful for my development and my personality?
If all of these answers are negative, you should drop them. The moment you detect someone doesn’t have good intentions, you should remove their access to you. In order to be confident, you should look at yourself as a luxury, not everyone should have the advantage to talk to you. Be stingy with your time and who you associate with. If you are surrounding yourself with people who aren’t doing anything productive and who are negative, it’s causing you to have the same mindset as them. Your inner circle should be full of same-minded individuals who are dedicated, smart, and genuine. It’s important to drop people who don’t match these criteria. Know your worth. Don’t give others second chances. People should only mess you over ONCE!! You have to let people know that they can’t treat you less than what you deserve.
3. Being Confidence and Self Assured. It takes months or even years to reach a good amount of confidence. If you constantly work on your self every day and even “fake” the confidence, you will eventually obtain that ideal confident, self-assured persona. From Kimora herself, she says “confidence is what will get you noticed, it will give you credibility, it’s what will provide you with status.” Being passive, quiet and assertive is not helping you grow. You have to show more aggression, stick up for yourself and let others know you’re not the one to mess with. When you walk in a room, others should automatically straighten their posture and get intimidated by your presence. People should always talk to you with respect, and if they have the nerve to disrespect you, you should take it upon yourself to not allow it. Ask for what you want unapologetically. Practice talking in a loud, bold, clear tone and practice sitting up straight. Do little things like holding your head high and give others DIRECT eye contact. If you talk quiet voice, slouch, and have a persona that screams insecure, you can’t possibly expect others to respect you. Be assertive when you send your communication across. Know your worth. You should not tolerate games and disrespect. You should never mope around and get depressed. Like Naomi said herself, “when I feel an attack, I withdraw. I disappear, replenish, and then come back.” Work on your confidence everyday until you perfect it.
4. Moving in Silence. I’ve mentioned this sooo many times on my blog, so I’m going to be brief. Don’t tell others your goals. Don’t tell others nothing, tell others enough information so that they think they know what you’re up to. Even your closest friends. You never know who has hidden intentions. Promise to keep your goals between yourself and ONLY yourself. Don’t be the type to post subs on social media. No classy woman does this. They don’t even think to do something childish like that. Really think before communicating with others. Words are extremely powerful. Put yourself first while you’re on this “boss up mentality” journey. You don’t have to associate with others on an everyday basis. Get in tune with yourself and focus on your development.
5. Independence. This is so important! I learned a long time ago to not count on anyone for anything. Rely on yourself and only yourself. Open your own doors in life, resolve your own problems. Learn to do things on your own, learn to solve your own problems. Don’t rely on anyone to help you with anything in life. You got this, you should have the mindset that you don’t need anyone’s help.
2. Lifestyle: LOA and Manifesting
1. Start Being in Tune with your Mind/Thoughts. We often think negative without even knowing it. Start eliminating phrases like I can’t and exchange them with I will. This will obvi take time, but sooner or later you will subconsciously always think positive without having to correct your negative thoughts. You can’t begin manifesting if you’re negative. If you start to think negative please catch yourself and get out of that mindset. You should remain to have a positive mindset at all times. Turn every situation you encounter into a positive, flip a bad situation into a good situation.
2. Begin Journaling. Writing down your goals on paper lets the universe know your intentions. Journal about how you envision your future self to be down to the T. Not even that, but journaling about your feelings is ten times better than ranting to someone. Vent about your day, your future goals, and what you want to do better the following week. Set yourself goals every month and as you begin to accomplish them one by one, you’ll feel satisfied.
3. Create Mood Boards/Vision boards!! This is something I personally love to do. Having pictures of how you envision your future self is important!! Especially vision boards, it’s helpful to outline how you want the following year to be. Looking at your vision board is used as inspiration and causes you to keep going. Examples of my mood boards:
4. Gather Some Affirmatives. Example: money is flowing into my life easily and effortlessly. You should come with at least five or six. Saying affirmative out loud the beginning of the morning sets the tone for the rest of the day. This is extremely important!! You can not begin manifesting if you do not have some affirmatives that apply for your future goals. You can even look up positive affirmative on YouTube to listen to throughout the day. Set reminders every morning in your phone to remind you to read your affirmatives. Mind you, affirmatives and manifesting doesn’t work automatically. You have to continue working hard towards your goals every second of the day in order to accomplish them! Then, you will see results. The universe will NOT present you with abundance if you are just saying affirmative but not doing anything to make a change! Here are some of my favorites affirmatives on YouTube:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HmjrC-A5l7o&t=685s (wealth affirmatives)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_5HGdD5tttg (positivity affirmatives)
5. Start Meditating. I can’t stress this enough, this is one of the main factors of manifesting (and why it works for me). Take 10-25 minutes out of your day to relax and meditate. Say your affirmative in your mind while doing so for a more positive effect. Meditation is also great for stress and anxiety. Take time out of your day to do this.
6. Get a Hobby. This is so important for everyone to do. In order to be the ultimate bougie, high-maintenance girl, you need to have a hobby. You need to be constantly busy with yourself so that you’re not sitting around with nothing to do. Don’t make yourself too available to people. Take yoga classes, take dance classes, take art classes; something so that you can focus on your own craft and have fun while doing so! Even if it’s something simple like learning a new language, having something to do during your freetime is fulfilling.
7. Ditch the Social Media. I know this is random, but like I said on my blog, scrolling through Instagram and twitter and tapping through Snapchat is a waste of time. This distracts yourself from your own reality when you could be focused on yourself. Ditch the gossip blogs. Stop worrying about celebrity drama and focus on your mental health and glowing up to your full potential. Seeing people’s ignorance on social media could have a huge influence on you, try to limit yourself on social media outlets. I find that this is helpful if you’re trying to level up.
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