The Phantom Menace Outline Fix
This outline redo is constructed around the basic concept of the story as is, but with much refining I think. In spite of the story concept I think being generally working, I think Lucas' character interactions and story beats lack energy and interpersonal building enough for me, so refining in the plot, story elements and character dynamics is the function in this. For this, here are the ideas that I thank God for, if He wills, blessing me with:
Two jedi, Qui-Gon Jinn and his padawan Obi-Wan Kenobi are secretly sent to investigate a trade federation blockade of Naboo and the surrounding areas of it. Qui-Gon is shown to be wary of being used like this by the senate. Obi-Wan holds the stance that the best way to ensure the jedi order and the senate share a peaceful co-existence is for them to work in symbiosis with eachother. Qui-Gon disagrees with this perception, seeing that as a stepping stone to the jedi being misused. They're accepted by the Viceroy and enter their vessel. When Palpatine tells them to kill the jedi with the poison gas, the jedi slice through the vents, which sets off an alert. Thinking the jedi are trying to escape through the vents, they send the droids in, which the jedi use, fighting them and escaping out of the now open door.
Getting to the main control deck of the ship after fighting off the battle droids, Qui begins cutting through the closed blast doors, when destroyers show up, shields protecting them. To escape, Obi and Qui use their combined power to pull a part of the wall off of the corridor and block the destroyers path.
The trade federation's motivation is more explored. Due to a trade deficit of imports exceeding in cost compared to their exports for large scale planets like Naboo, whose trade of plasma had garnered their planet a mass amount of income, the trade federation had begun transporting spice. Due to no formal laws dictating it's trade as illegal and no explicit evidence, they were able to do it with impunity. However, to discourage such trade of harmful substances, the senate, rather than the effort it would take to push forward a new law, issued a tax on the trade, it aggressively hindering their credit intake. As an opposition to this, they've targeted Naboo, blockading it and it's trade of plasma to strongarm the senate to repeal the taxation, as the trade of Naboo's plasma has become a hot commodity in the galaxy. Getting Padme to sign the treaty will essentially give them the right to plunder the plasma resources of the planet for their own trade, increasing their income tenfold.
The trade federation has gained support from some worlds who are opposing similar matters, though not about taxation regarding spice or drugs, but mainly what has been considered general overreach by the republic on other matters and has been happening slowly for decades, restricting other worlds and people in the outer rim and such have little representation in the senate. In the midst of this, an alliance such displeased members of what will become the separatist alliance, currently called the Union at this point, has pushed for support in opposition to the republic.
They hide to avoid them, before running into Jar Jar Binks. Yes, he's staying, though he's a little more toned down. Qui-Gon saves his life from a droid, to which Jar Jar owes him a debt. In doing so, he helps them find their way to Naboo's capitol, through the underwater tunnels his people traverse through, this getting him into trouble with his people, for helping outworlders. Jar Jar insists, him already being in hot water for his soft view on the Naboo humans who already live there, so he's banished for this treachery. Jar Jar is still clumsy, still careless, has a goofy personality, but not outright over the top.
Upon seeing the droids also walk amongst the streets of the capital, Obi-Wan insists they return to Coruscant and inform them of this. Qui-Gon senses that the Queen is in danger and pursues that. Obi-Wan objects to this, as he doesn't sense it, it wasn't their mission and that Qui-Gon objected to being sent here in the first place. Qui-Gon points out to him that he objected to the jedi council sending them out of obligation to the senate, but not to helping prevent dangerous circumstances from being taken out on the people of the planet, citing that a blockade is a political issue, but what's happening on Naboo is an invasion, and that it is their duty as jedi to help the people of the planet from being harmed by that. He then informs Obi-Wan that he can return to Coruscant and inform the council of this if he wishes, but that he will follow his instincts about the situation. Obi-Wan begins to leave, but begrudgingly follows Qui-Gon.
13 year old Queen Padme of Naboo is gaining input from her senator in the Galactic senate, Sheev Palpatine. A soft hearted, conflicted young woman, she feels burdened by the responsibility she has to her people, recently elected into office. She begins to feel frustrated when her communications with Palpatine are blocked by the trade federation. For assistance, she turns to her advisor Bail Organa, who suggests that they seek a way to smuggle Padme out of the the capitol and off the planet. Padme objects, feeling unwilling to abandon her people. Her Supreme Commander of Naboo's army insists they fight back. Padme is against it, fearing the casualties of igniting a war.
When Qui and Obi rescue Padme, her and her people aren't fully trusting of a gungan in Jar-Jar, as the gungans and her people have had animosity towards each other and debates over representation in the senate and ownership of the plasma resource their planet has in abundance. The gungans had made the lives of Padme's people difficult, seeing them as arrogant and uncaring about their people and their place in the planet that they both share disrupting some of the drilling for plasma and basically not allowing them to set up rigs on certain patches of land, being disruptive and unwilling to engage or cooperate with the human naboo, whereas Padme's people see the gungans as a group unwilling to abide by the laws and policies of their people and the republic as well as seeing them as needlessly stirring up strife amidst the planet, seeing them as seperate from them as a result, almost a kinda elitism, this causing a divide between them.
Qui-Gon tells Padme that it's her choice whether she wants to leave, but he can sense that there is something bigger going on here. Padme knows they wouldn't harm her, as they need her to sign their treaty and make their colonizing of Naboo and securing of it's resources legal. Padme comes to think that her advisors and allies could be tortured to make her comply and, not wanting that, she agrees to, so she can personally bring this issue to the Senate.
In spite of their uncertainty, given their situation, Padme and her people still go along with Jar-Jar's assistance, Jar-Jar having snuck into the hangar and stumbled upon a ship for them to escape in, not realizing it has been loaded with spice by the trade federation for them to implicate the Queen more directly in making their invasion legal through a supposed trade of spice.
Padme insists that Bail take another ship, stating that they'll be focused on capturing her rather than him, to sneak out and if all else fails he'll be able to bring their cause to the senate, in case she's unable to.
While escaping the trade federation, the ship is overwhelmed, the engine being damaged. As the ship's engine is being repaired by R2, Padme opts for a distraction. She opens the airlock and, with Obi-Wan's assistance in a moment of bonding, releases the large spice shipment into space to scatter behind them to disrupt the vision of the trade federation and its attack, giving R2 time hidden to fix the engine and allow the ship to escape.
Though the ship is still damaged, a major part needing replacing, the closest available civilization that they may be able to get away with and the trade federation would think they're less likely to take refuge on, that being tatooine.
Though the Trade Federation does have an interest in tatooine, as well as many of the outer rim worlds, using the mob run tatooine to provide spice for their trade, this allowing them to have interference in the planet's affairs.
Maul is smug and cocky. Establish that he is itching to fight and kill a jedi, as it's what he was trained for, what he thinks his purpose is, perhaps to prove himself to Sidious.
Anakin is 11 years old. He doesn't have any real friends, but he does have a few buddies, like Owen Lars and Beru Whitesun. Owen does have a great deal of adoration for Anakin's mom though, his own mother abandoning him and his dad when he was young. Owen's dad, Cliegg, a single man, is shown to have a lot of affection for Anakin's mother Shmi as well, her being a sweet, nurturing, brave hearted woman. Cliegg, a moisture farmer, is said to have been trying for years to build up enough money to pay off her and her son's slavery cost, to free them, but he simply has so little available income to do so for them.
Anakin speaks about the relay used to send the signals to the bomb's in the slaves on tatooine and how it doesn't have a shield around it as it needs a clear signal for long ranges to avoid mishaps like gaps that could lead to escapes and/or unintentional explosions. When asked why the relay hasn't been destroyed, Anakin tells them that it'll automatically set off the bombs if it's destroyed or shut down without a code, which is broken up between multiple mob bosses on tatooine and no one knows who.
Padme, meanwhile bonds with Anakin, a feeling of being powerless and hindered by their roles in their lives, though Padme acknowledges that her situation is far from the same as his, she feels much compassion for him and his situation. And in seeing this planet and how it is, slavery within the galaxy showing her that things aren't as simple as the rules dictating the way the galaxy is run and how trivial her peoples issues with the gungans are. Padme feels much sympathy for him, finding his bravery and optimism, and emotional openness, in spite of his situation to be very admirable and charming. Anakin finds her to be pretty as well as gentle and caring and compassion to be traits that he finds himself struck by, as well her being the only other girl close to his age that he's felt such a connection to, finding her to be pretty.
Qui-Gon, bonding with Anakin, perceives him to be force sensitive, inquiring of him further from Shmi. Shmi acknowledges that his dad was a nobody who'd left her when she'd been discovered as pregnant and died, and that her pregnancy and Anakin's birth was a surprise, as she was barren, seeing Anakin as a great gift in her life, unsure how it was possible for him to have been born.
Qui has sensed the pursuing feeling of the dark side near, and calls for Obi to investigate the surrounding area of the town. Obi questions why Qui-Gon is getting so involved in the life of this boy, as he feels that there's nothing that can be done for him, that it'd be safer for their mission and that family if he left them alone. Qui-Gon disagrees, saying that they were brought here for a reason, and that to come upon a child with such potential that he can help and can help them, to do nothing about that in assisting who they can would be to deny the path they've been presented with. Obi, humbled a bit by Qui's rebuttal though still a bit defiant, agrees to investigate.
In this, Obi does track a drone that is observing the area, cutting it down before it can return to Maul. Obi is able to catch a glimpse of the dark cloaked figure amidst the dunes, Obi catching his eye as well. Maul is excited to see a jedi, reaching for his lightsaber, but his droid alerts to a sighting of the other jedi, knowing the older would be the one who'd be protecting the queen and not wanting to disobey Sidious' order and perceiving the fighting of a fully fledged jedi rather than a padawan to be more satisfying anyway, he retreats. Obi realizes why and, knowing where Qui is exactly, takes a shortcut basically.
Qui mentors Anakin a bit on the use of the force. Anakin isn't sure he understands. Qui says to allow himself to connect and Qui can guide him. So, when the podrace begins to go bad for Anakin, Anakin panics, Qui reaching out to him and assisting him to calm down and focus, which assists Anakin in fixing the problem and defeating Sebulba.
When Anakin is freed, Qui-Gon does feel guilty for not being able set Shmi free, Anakin doesn't want to leave her, though he is torn. Owen is a little annoyed that Anakin is even considering abandoning his mother.
But, then Obi arrives, warning Qui of someone coming for them. This puts the entire situation for them on alert.
Especially when Maul, trade federation droids tow, is allowed to raid the town by the Hutts, baring down on them and Anakin, with his mom unable to leave, and at her insistence, rather than stay and be caught, maybe even die, is forced to leave his mom behind and escape tatooine.
They're able to lead them away from the town.
Seed Maul and Obi-Wan's duel... Obi arrogantly tries to fight off Maul when he comes for Qui, only to be a hindrance, quickly being caught off guard due to his lack of foresight in the moment of the battle. Qui protects Obi in this moment and tells him to get on the ship. Obi reconsiders for a moment and gets on the ship, telling the pilot to fly low. Qui jumps aboard as Maul is left amped and unsatisfied at what he feels was a the loss of the battle in letting them escape.
Anakin gives Padme the necklace he'd carved as they talk, her being touched by it, telling him that she won't forget him, he's shown her a lot.
After arriving on Coruscant, Padme is happy to find Bail having arrived there safely, him having been able to contact the Alderaan people for safer transport, him having a close friendship with their Queen Breha. Senator Mon Mothma, one of Padme's friends is also there, in support of her cause and insisting that her planet Chandrila is willing to offer aid in medicine and food, but fears that it best that her planet not get involved in any physical altercations. Padme understands, stating that the last thing she wants is violence.
But we establish a little bit more, that in the past century the republic has allowed corporate alignments to get in the way of ensuring the safety and security of the people they look after. Those who provide the most profit into the system are more often than not allowed to act with impunity. Within the past century reforms have begun in redistribution of planets for the local corporations and senators with little oversight, allowing them to basically become total rulers of them, though this was not the intention.
Sheev Palpatine and Padme debate about this, Padme being a fresh out of school young political student thrust into leadership only having holovids and data to have examined about the political maneuvers of the senate. Palpatine insists that it's more cynical than her young eyes can perceive, that even Chancellor Valorum, a generally seeming noble man is simply too mired by the fear of not ensuring the republic's policies and maintaining of the status quo in seeking to keep certain members of the senate happy and the republic intact with it's taxation and inability to actual enforce it's laws and take the time to pass laws that would ensure the safety of the people, instead opting to take the information of his bureaucratic advisors to take easier paths rather than the strong ones. Palpatine states that they would rather listen to the corporations who make the republic profits rather than the people who actually need help.
Anakin is there among Padme's people as this debate is happening, taking in the issues and struggles, and the seemingly sincere, and strong handed stance, that Palpatine suggests. Afterward, Palpatine acknowledges the boy, asking about him. To which the Padme as the Queen introduces him by his name Anakin, allowing Anakin to explain who he is. Palpatine is intrigued by the boy, offering him a candy, and lending a seeming sympathetic ear to him and his home planet's plight, complimenting his wisdom and skill.
After Qui-Gon briefs the jedi council on his findings and his perception that the dark cloaked figure that attacked them was a sith, which the council members are uncertain to dismissive of as a notion. Obi is surprised by this notion though. When Qui speaks to them on Anakin, he refers to a vision seen by jedi long ago, a child born of a mother unable to conceive, destined to bring balance to the force, his perception being that Anakin could be that child.
At the senate hearing, Padme's frustration builds, especially when a holo recording is shown of Padme's ship dropping the spice out as a way to suggest that Padme was trying to get rid of evidence of a trade deal that Padme had agreed to with the trade federation that justified their intrusion in Naboo space. Padme makes an impassioned speech that that is an edited recording, that they were being attacked and that the jedi will attest to it. This causes a rumble amongst the senate members, as while the Chancellor has the authority to sanction such an action of sending the jedi, those who side with the trade federation/those who oppose what they feel is the senate's elitism and overreach accuse Valorum of such things, citing that because Valorum sent the jedi for the Naboo they may have a bias under Valorum's orders, leading Valorum to be fearful and panic amidst the criticism, desperately wanting to alleviate the concerns and ensure he's not tarnished in the eyes of the senate, with the suggestion of his advisors, who Palpatine says have investments in the trade federation's corporate holdings, essentially making them in their pockets.
The senate is split amongst many divisions of interests and alignments, many siding with Padme and thinking she's being honest about her dropping the spice out and seeing it as a revolutionary act against the entanglements and illegal actions of the trade federation. While many others oppose the senate and side with the trade federation.
Valorum, wanting to appease the majority that he can, suggests that Padme defer this to allow an investigation of the issue by the courts. Padme rejects that, stating that it would only give the trade federation time to cover their actions and the courts are far too stagnant in bureaucracy to achieve anything in time to ensure more of her people don't die. In her moment of anger and sadness, she Palpatine's advice in making a claim of a vote of no confidence in Chancellor Valorum's leadership.
Mon Mothma is shown taking in Padme's impassioned speech, moved by it. Bail, meanwhile, is shown speaking to Queen Breha of Alderaan, seeking assistance for his planet. She's uncertain, stating that her planet is non violent, but Bail states that even then some need protection.
Qui debates with Obi about the merit of insisting upon Anakin, and how Qui's constant resistance to the council's regulations has led to Qui not being valued as much and not gaining a council seat, which Qui has no concern about it. Obi inquires of Qui's thoughts about the dark figure being a sith, having read about them but knowing little real information. Qui gives him a brief history lesson on the sith being jedi who became corrupted by the dark side and abused their power, utilized the methods of an alien species called the sith and supplanted them in their world, eventually taking over the galaxy, the jedi fighting against them, the sith nearly killing each other for power. He states that the sith had resurgences after that, the most effective being the rule of two that centralized the power and ensured they couldn't easily kill each other, but even that reign ended over a millennia ago.
Padme is left conflicted and feeling alone. Jar-Jar shows compassion to her in her moment of dejectedness, which she gratefully accepts, showing appreciation for him, Jar-Jar referring to how his own people won't go down without a fight and has a strong army. She holds the necklace Anakin has given her and ponders her own biases and the elitism of her people, realizing what her best option is.
Anakin is given the test for being a jedi and is asked questions by members of the council, especially Mace and Yoda, who perceives him to be fearful, afraid of losing his mother.
Padme is given news of Palpatine being nominated for Chancellor, Palpatine being certain that their situation is likely to create a strong sympathy vote for them. Padme informs him that she's returning to Naboo to be with her people, that she has a plan, and that this is the best option she feels she has.
Meanwhile, Qui-Gon, after Anakin's test and the jedi declining to train him on the basis of him being too old, insists that meeting Anakin was no coincidence, that if the council won't train him, he will, as Obi is ready to take the jedi trials. Obi is a bit displeased by this though, at Qui so readily seeming to replace him. Yoda says that Anakin's future is clouded. The council then suggests to table this discussion for later, as Qui and Obi are needed to escort the Queen back to Naboo and discover who the dark warrior is.
While getting on the ship to Naboo, Obi states that Anakin is dangerous based on the council saying his future is clouded, which Qui shuts him down on, saying it should be enough for him that the council has agreed to deliberate the notion for now. They head to Naboo.
When they begin to arrive on Naboo, they speak on how to get past the blockade. Padme is certain they won't kill her, as they need her to sign the treaty, but they will use violence to try and make the ship land, the only way they can avoid it is by coming out of hyperspace close enough to the planet to already be past the blockade. Captain Panaka asserts that no computer can calculate a perfect trajectory to avoid crashing into the planet. Qui-Gon suggests that he, Anakin and Obi-Wan reach out with the force to calculate it. Padme is uncertain at first, but she states that she trusts them and Anakin. Anakin isn't sure he can do it. Qui-Gon instructs him to be calm, focus and allow his mind to be guided again. Obi is still unsure about trusting Anakin, but when he sees and feels Anakin's potential he reaches out with them to connect to Anakin, showing trust in his powers and finding a bonding moment with Anakin through their connection and connection with Qui-Gon. Together, they're able to perceive the correct coordinates and they use them to sneak past the blockade.
After they land back on Naboo, when Obi, after having seen Anakin's potential and connecting with him, feeling humbled in how he now sees what Anakin has the potential for, he apologizes to Qui for his attitude and how it wasn't his place. Qui tells him how proud he is of him and how wise he's become, telling him that he can see that he will become a great jedi.
Padme then reveals herself as the Queen, having hidden as a handmaiden, to the gungans, in an act of humility to the gungans, asking for their help and admitting that her people haven't given the gungans their due, and they haven't always gotten along in general, but states that Naboo is home to both of them, that the galaxy and it's problems are more important than their feud and that in order survive they must band together, that she will strive for the gungans to get proper representation in the senate and give them their fair share of profits for the mining of plasma under their supervision. The ruler of the gungans is pleased greatly by this, by the humility and offer and, wanting to protect his people as well, embraces the deal Padme has offered.
They strategize. The gungan army will be a ground assault, while Padme and her remaining soldiers will sneak into city with the jedi through the underwater tunnels, to capture the viceroy and get him to admit to his crimes. Some of her soldiers will take the fighters to go up and destroy the droid control ship, to ensure the Gungans won't be killed by the droids. The gungans though aren't too trusting of Padme and the Naboo, question that she may be using them for her own ends and let them get killed so she can secure her throne. Padme, though not pleased by the suggestion, promises the gungans that she won't let them down.
Meanwhile, Sidious, contacting the viceroy, hearing about the gungans mobilizing, is quite displeased, perceiving that this was Padme's plan all along, not understanding how she could do this, seeing this as out of character for her, unable to grasp Padme's actions.
Anakin is told by Qui to stay behind near the ruins, but Ani doesn't listen, following them. When they get there, Qui senses Anakin and tells him to hide in the cockpit of one of the fighters.
The battle to get to the hangar has led to more casualties of her men than she thought, her afraid they don't have enough men to raid the palace and send out an attack against the droid control ship. Padme, fraught with turmoil and guilt, is terribly conflicted, not wanting to break her promise to the gungans. Padme takes a moment, and risks her breach by suggesting pulling from her own men to assist the gungans, even if it means her raid of the palace fails.
But then she's contacted by Bail Organa and Mon Mothma, who have rallied the combined efforts of the Chandrila and Alderaan pilots to assist, coming in to seek to destroy the droid control ship. Padme is uplifted by the support, her sending now only some of her men to assist them, but taking the majority in her siege on the palace.
The ship's autopilot turns on, because Anakin activates the ship to attack the destroyers that show up. The ship takes off with the others, R2 insisting he turn back. Anakin says he won't run away again.
Padme and the jedi are halted by Maul, who Qui and Obi step in to deal with, Maul eager to fight them. The duel builds, Qui being stabbed, to Obi's anger, Obi lashing out and pushing Maul back, but being off balance in his emotions and Maul able to overcome him, pushing him off the edge into the shaft, Obi grabbing at something to hold himself up. Maul, having beaten a jedi, feeling pretty good about himself.
Meanwhile, Jar-Jar, being placed as a head of the gungan army, isn't a good fighter, but he is able to use his most seemingly useless trait, his clumsiness, to distract the droids, as the more proficient fighters are able to oppose them.
When Anakin is in space, he sees the same type of signal relay on droid control ship. Anakin realizes that the ship must have a place to enter with no shield to send the signal clearly. In this Anakin tries to find it using the force reaching out, but he can't, becoming upset, which an injured Qui-Gon and in peril Obi-Wan sense, them connecting with him and helping him focus to find the opening, which he crashes through and is able to blow up the ship, with R2's help, who aims the blasters to destroy the inner engines.
This shuts down the remaining droids against the gungans.
But the other two droid control ships around the planet, gaining word of the attack and destruction, begin sending further ground droids.
However, Padme is able to capture the viceroy, and get him to order the shut down of the other ships and admit to his crimes.
As Maul arrogantly taunts Obi's situation by slashing at the area near him with his lightsaber. Obi, in his moment of connecting with Anakin, realizes his own mistake, his own arrogance and rigidness, and calms himself, focusing on Qui's lightsaber, pulling it to himself as he leaps over Maul and slices at his bottom half, Maul falling down into shaft, his legs falling off too. Obi cries as Qui dies in his arms, telling him to train Anakin, that he will bring balance.
Afterwards, the people celebrate, Anakin is applauded for taking out the main control ship by some of the gungans and humans of Naboo, feeling pride and accomplishment in himself being able to take some action that could protect people. Padme thanks him personally, kissing him on the cheek, them both blushing.
But this moment of happiness is hampered, when he sees Obi, but no Qui, Obi apologizing, that he's gone, them having a moment of connection over it.
After, Obi insists to Yoda that he train Anakin as Obi gave his word to Qui, that he can't abandon this boy, and that he will do it without the approval of the council if he must. Yoda, with hesitation, agrees, granting him the position of graduation to Jedi Knight and him taking on Anakin.
Anakin is fearful at Qui's funeral, his body being burned, Anakin mourning his death, angry and sad, Padme takes his hand in a gesture of comfort. Anakin asks Obi what will happen to him now, Obi tells him that he will train him and he promises that he will become a jedi. Mace and Yoda state they're now certain it was a sith and that the rule of two means it mustn't have been the only one.
Palpatine is announced as Chancellor, is present at the uniting of the gungans and humans on Naboo, congratulates Anakin on his accomplishment, stating that he's proven himself and will be of great interest.
The movie ends with the celebration of the new treaty of equality between the Naboo humans and the gungans, using a ball of plasma as symbolic of their unity.
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