real girl

[truethingsiwishicouldsay]

What happened to my sister

People have asked for more specifics on what happened to my sister, and why I’m kind of stuck on it when it comes to both cotton ceiling rhetoric and the practice of terfing women for pretty much nothing. So here goes.

My sister’s a lesbian. She’s married to a nice lady and they’re very loyal to each other. She has the only happy marriage that I have ever fucking seen in my life, in fact. 

We were at a party, and this woman absolutely would not leave my sister alone. You have probably run into this type of sexual pest; you can find them in many populations. “I’m married” didn’t work on her; she “didn’t believe” in monogamy. 

She was so damned relentless that my sister told her to fuck off…and the terfing began. This unbalanced, narcissistic bitch was trans, and got her revenge for the rejection by screeching that my sister was a terf. 

It was an LGBT event. EVERYONE reacted explosively and my poor sister started getting intensively questioned. We started screaming BACK at Trans Princess Sociopath to stop bothering married women for sex. Most people backed off and laughed as they realized TPS was way out of line and was pulling the discrimination card when refused. It’s a common asshole tactic, and apparently TPS had a reputation for being an asshole.

That in itself? No reflection on trans women as a whole, there are shitheads in every group like I say regularly. But it was the reaction of most other trans women in the group that really pissed me off. They just took her at her word. And she was fucking LYING.

Anyway, TPS didn’t like being called out for terrible behavior. So she and her handful of friends stormed off for a while, and we were relieved because we thought they were gone. Then they came back and surrounded my sister when she went outside for a smoke. And the biggest member of them started beating her in the face for being a “terf”.

I have PTSD. Everything between when I saw what was happening and when my sister got to the hospital was pretty much told to me by someone else because it’s all a big ugly blur. But it can basically be summed up with “I flipped out, pulled the bastard away on adrenaline strength, covered my sister’s body with mine and started screaming a lot until a bunch of people intervened”. There were cops involved. I don’t know who called them.

We pressed charges. It was that far over the line. We didn’t make any friends in the local trans community in the process, though we would have pressed charges on literally anyone who beat my sister up. They ignored that and the brute’s violence, and decided that my sister and I were terfs. 

I had to explain a million times the difference between “anti-trans” and “anti-specific assholes”, until I just got tired of it and stopped trying. It opened my eyes to transactivists’ cult-like behavior and mentality. It also opened my eyes to the real issue: it didn’t matter if my sister accepted trans women as women or not if she wasn’t giving up pussy, if she complained, or if she retaliated against any of them–even in response to violence.

And that is why I am FURIOUSLY protective of lesbians who are being pressured to provide sexual access to people they’re not attracted to, and ostracized and threatened when they refuse. I have come as close to being in their shoes as a straight girl can–close enough at least to genuinely empathize. And until the community stops turning sexual entitlement into a political movement, and rationalizing and denying the behavior of violent creeps like TPS and her thug of a friend, I will remain heavily critical of transactivists.

[dai-zy-blue]

For those may be confused by the (inaccurate) pronouns in this story: TPS is actually a man; in this story a man is harassing a woman for sex.

[patrocles]

Literal interpretations of Midsommar aside, one of the core take-aways has to be about how a woman needs female friends to thrive. Despite knowing Christian’s friends for years, Dani is little more than their friend’s girlfriend– a burden to him and therefore a burden to them. There is no connection, nothing further beyond cordial interactions. They don’t even much care about her experiences except that it means that their bro is still trapped. She is apart from them, detatched, cast in shadows. A woman who, from what little we can gather, doesn’t have anyone besides these men who don’t care about her. But the women of Harga embrace Dani, love her, and care about her, give her space to grieve with them. It’s as if they had known her for years rather than days. Of course there’s much to be said about their actual intentions, but every woman knows this experience. That feeling of being cherished and validated more by a random woman you just met in the bathroom at a club, than by the boyfriend and his friends you’ve known forever. Women just need women.

[llovinghome]

[sazquatch-blog]

It’s not really as simple as saying “Men treat you badly when you do x, therefore men hate x, and so you doing x is empowering yourself and standing up to them!!” because men treat us badly no matter what we do, even if what we are doing materially benefits them. That’s what misogyny is - the hatred of women. Men treat women who engage in sex with them badly, talking about how they’re worthless sluts if they send nudes etc., and you’re not gonna convince me that men’s goal in life is to ensure no woman ever has sex with them. Men want you to engage in sex with them, but they treat you badly afterwards because they hate women. It’s like how men want women to be subservient house-servants who cook and clean without complaint, and then they turn around and slam those same women for being dependent, boring, or doormats. It doesn’t mean they want us to stop performing domestic labour for them, it just means they hate us.  Nothing we are doing in relation to men is standing up and doing things they hate to empower ourselves, unless we’re actively avoiding them and not centring them in our lives.

[fleur-aesthetic]

instagram | ariellevey

[xeptum]

peaches 🍑

[extremeirrelevancy-deactivated2]

I don’t have a problem with gender because it’s a social construct.

I have a problem with gender because it’s a social construct that exists to justify and maintain male power over females by constructing a masculine identity out of culturally valued principles, and a feminine one out of actions and behavior intended to support female weakness.

[dirtsnakes]

sometimes making tea is less about drinking it and more ab it keeping you company

[latenightsinpemberley]

So the mainstream take on straight women finding out their bae watches porn has shifted from jealousy and insecurity about their appearance, to shaming themselves about their ‘too vanilla’ sexual preferences and just.. wow, way to miss a point there by ignoring the elephant in the room, which is the fact that your man shamelessly consumes content from a misogynistic industry that’s based on dehumanising, torturing and exploiting women.

[pinkvoidmuse-deactivated2023021]

guys used to be ashamed of it, now they’re being told they can shame women for not being comfortable with it. women are being told to be comfortable with disrespect and the fact that their bf gets off on misogynistic content. 

[femsolid]

Now when a woman is alarmed and complains that her husband/boyfriend masturbates to filmed prostitution and violence against women she gets told : “all men do it”, “it’s normal”, “it has nothing to do with you”, “you should try it”, “try watching it with him and learn what he likes”, “I’m a woman and I watch filmed prostitution too haha” “I’m a woman and I watch more filmed prostitution that my boyfriend haha” etc. She is made to feel insane, overreacting and outdated. 

[tiffanarchy]

I wish I could tell every single teenage girl that she doesn’t have to be okay with porn, and it doesn’t have to be a normal part of life perpetually, and there is nothing wrong with her for not wanting anything to do with it.

[saint-ambrosef]

porn is absolutely one of the biggest successions of misogyny in our society but for some reason everyone wants to blame everything else

[absolute-wumbo]

Porn being normalized and passed off as an opportunity for female empowerment when it’s an industry that exploits and abuses women is one of the greatest scams of our time.

[antiporn-activist]

You can tell teenage girls that, and you should.

[blogging-at-your-funeral]

[ladies-of-theatre]

Elle Woods did not graduate as Valedictorian of Harvard Law for you to associate women in power with having a lack of ‘traditional femininity’

Wear pink, be a hopeless romantic and kick ass ladies

[femenace-deactivated2020918]

alternatively: consider that the character of Elle Woods was specifically designed to be hyper-feminine because the writers knew that the movie’s entire premise of a woman working hard to get into a prestigious law school and ultimately becoming even more successful than her boyfriend would only be palatable to the masses if she showed excessive performance of femininity in order to atone for her “un-feminine” achievements and ambitions, which would serve to:

pacify those who might accuse such a storyline of being “feminazi propaganda” (see: reception of the ghost busters remake)

give viewers eye candy (playboy bunny outfit, bikinis, and tight-fitting, low-cut dresses)

etc

lastly, let’s not forget the way she convinced the admissions staff to accept her:

wow guys! super empowering!

[myradfemblog]

And remember how they treated the lesbian?

[iguanamouth]

i havent shaved my legs in a really long time and while i was babysitting my skirt edged up a bit and the seven year old i was watching said “ew you should shave that hairs not supposed to be there” and i said “well if its not supposed to be there then why does it grow there?” and he was really silent for a long time and then finally said “lets watch sonic the hedgehog”

[level27rogue-deactivated2020112]

tumors grow, are they supposed to be there?

its called “evolution”, just because its there doesnt mean its useful or wanted.

[geekandmisandry]

Local Man Compares Leg Hair To Cancer, Genuinely Thought It Was A Smart Argument. More At Six.

[saltyairgardening-deactivated20]

Cliff-top Flowers

[ladylazarus33-deactivated202103]

Just some controversial hot takes for y’all:

1. Womanhood is inherently traumatizing  2. Realizing that womanhood is inherently traumatizing and attempting to distance and liberate yourself from the patriarchy and heteronormativity can make you feel hopeless and depressed when you realize how fucked the world around you is - which can lead to more trauma  3. A deeply rooted, intense fear of men and hatred for a male centric society can make discerning your own sexual orientation is extremely difficult and painful

[invertprivileges]

“Many women, I think, resist feminism because it is an agony to be fully conscious of the brutal misogyny which permeates culture, society, and all personal relationships. It is as if our oppression were cast in lava eons ago and now it is granite, and each individual woman is buried inside the stone. Women try to survive inside the stone, buried in it. Women say, I like this stone, its weight is not too heavy for me. Women defend the stone by saying that it protects them from rain and wind and fire. Women say, all I have ever known is this stone, what is there without it?

For some women, being buried in the stone is unbearable. They want to move freely. They exert all their strength to claw away at the hard rock that encases them. They rip their fingernails, bruise their fists, tear the skin on their hands until it is raw and bleeding. They rip their lips open on the rock, and break their teeth, and choke on the granite as it crumbles into their mouths. Many women die in this desperate, solitary battle against the stone.

But what if the impulse to freedom were to be born in all of the women buried in the stone? What if the material of the rock itself had become so saturated with the stinking smell of women’s rotting bodies, the accumulated stench of thousands of years of decay and death, that no woman could contain her repulsion? What would those women do if, finally, they did want to be free?I think that they would study the stone. 

I think that they would use every mental and physical faculty available to them to analyze the stone, its structure, its qualities, its nature, its chemical composition, its density, the physical laws which determine its properties. They would try to discover where it was eroded, what substances could decompose it, what kind of pressure was required to shatter it.

This investigation would require absolute rigor and honesty. Any lie that they told themselves about the nature of the stone would impede their liberation. Any lie that they told themselves about their own condition inside the stone would perpetuate the very situation that had become intolerable to them.”

― Andrea Dworkin, Our Blood: Prophecies and Discourses on Sexual Politics

[whiskey-and-c41]

Vagina is not a dirty word. Vulva is not a dirty word. Clitoris is not a dirty word. Labia is not a dirty word. Uterus is not a dirty word. The words used to describe my body will not be censored.

[radfemqc]

Vagin n’est pas un mot sale. Vulve n’est pas un mot sale. Clitoris n’est pas un mot sale. Lèvre n’est pas un mot sale. Utérus n’est pas un mot sale. Les mots utilisés pour décrire mon corps ne seront pas censurés.

[rad-itzel]

Vagina no es una palabra sucia. Vulva no es una palabra sucia. Clítoris no es una palabra sucia. Labios no es una palabra sucia. Útero no es una palabra sucia. Las palabras usadas para describir mi cuerpo no serán censuradas.

[girlsfrommars]

Vagina is geen vies woord. Vulva is geen vies woord. Clitoris is geen vies woord. Schaamlippen is geen vies woord. Baarmoeder is geen vies woord. De woorden die worden gebruikt om mijn lichaam te beschrijven, zullen niet worden gecensureerd.

[sursulapitschi]

Vagina ist kein schmutziges Wort. Vulva ist kein schmutziges Wort. Klitoris ist kein schmutziges Wort. Schamlippen ist kein schmutziges Wort. Gebärmutter ist kein schmutziges Wort. Die Worte, die meinen Körper beschreiben, werden nicht zensiert. 

[uterusperson]

Vagina är inte ett fult ord. Vulva är inte ett fult ord. Klitoris är inte ett fult ord. Blygdläppar är inte ett fult ord. Livmoder är inte ett fult ord. Dessa ord som beskriver min kropp ska inte bli censurerade. 

[radical-my-dudes]

Vagina non è una parolaccia. Vulva non è una parolaccia. Clitoride non è una parolaccia. Labia non è una parolaccia. Utero non è una parolaccia. Le parole usate per descrivere il mio corpo non saranno censurate.

[princess-anastasia-fable]

Pochwa/wagina to nie jest brzydkie słowo. Cipka/srom to nie jest brzydkie słowo. Łechtaczka to nie jest brzydkie słowo. Wargi sromowe to nie brzydkie słowa. Macica to nie jest brzydkie słowo. Słowa, które służą do opisu mojego ciała nie powinny być cenzurowane.

[radbadanddangeroustoknow]

Vagina är inte ett fult ord. Vulva är inte ett fult ord. Klitoris är inte ett fult ord. Blygdläppar är inte ett fult ord. Livmoder är inte ett fult ord. Dessa ord som beskriver min kropp ska inte bli censurerade. 

הנרתיק אינו מילה גסה. וולווה אינה מילה גסה. הדגדגן אינו מילה גסה. Labia היא לא מילה גסה. הרחם אינו מילה גסה. המילים המשמשות לתיאור גופי לא יצונזרו.

[radfemarchive-deactivated202304]

Vagina não é uma palavra suja.Vulva não é uma palavra suja.Clitóris não é uma palavra suja.Labia não é uma palavra suja.Útero não é uma palavra suja.As palavras usadas para descrever o meu corpo não serão censuradas.

[fairypage-deactivated20190421]

阴道不是一行粗口。外阴不是一行粗口。阴蒂不是一行粗口。子宫不是一行粗口。字为表现我的身子不会被审查。

[crowcalling-deactivated20221126]

膣は失礼な言葉ではない。外陰部は失礼な言葉ではない。陰核は失礼な言葉ではない。淫唇は失礼な言葉ではない。子宮は失礼な言葉ではない。私の体を説明する言葉は検閲しないよ。

[pincie]

Please reblog if you are a girl and have ever been made to feel ashamed of one or more of these things (wanting to prove a point to some asshole):

-your weight

-your clothing choice

-your amount of make up

-having sex

-not having sex

-breast size

-having your period

-saying no

-not appreciating catcalls 

-masturbating

-body hair

[anti-porn-unicorn]

Male violence is responsible for so many problems in the world. I’m not even saying that to be “man hating” because I’m not a man hater. It’s just a literal scientific fact 😂