Okay, this is my first fic I’ve posted on here so hope y’all really like it!
💔🌙A mortal’s pain under the moonlit sky.🌻🌳
*~Life's handwritten letter~*
I count the mundane, long hours of the days fleeting by; curling my fingers around the traversed, invisible lines of time, the very abstract concept consuming and tiresome as I stand among the orchids and greenery of this overstretched field, the petals of flowers dancing below my feet like a ballerina in the soft glow of an eclipse, portraying a tale of shadows and light.
I attempted to forget what has happened the last few weeks, forging a massive barrier between me and reality. Knowing i was no good at craftsmanship.
It was a Friday afternoon, bitter and heavy, comparable with what I felt deep within my heart and soul. The rain had charged onto the floor intensely when we got back from New Orleans; me and Xanthus had gotten back-surprisingly intact, despite the storm threatening to destroy us.
Immediately upon arrival, I never imagined that the rustic, musk scent of his house would grant me so much nostalgia and comfort.
He held me close that very night, rubbing my temples, holding my broken body like i was made from porcelain, kissing away my tears like they were scared. Until i fell asleep in his soft embrace.
Despite this, now that i have fully moved in with Xanthus, it was hard to shake off the lingering, painful feeling of grief. Of course i couldn’t…
How would any relatively normal person be able to forget killing someone you considered and valued as a friend. “You must forgive yourself, love. Please.” He whispered to me, holding my gaze as his somber expression made me look away so that my heart could not ache further.
I get a rush of the torturous pain, coping down their for two weeks straight with Audric, was the walking embodiment of hell, maybe even worse. I was left to bear the same constant nightmares life offered from a jar that i was forced to choose from last. Almost jolting out of bed every night-in a horrific sweat gasping for air, begging for them to stop.
I was a mere puppet for life’s strings pulling, and reshaping me, until my bones were broken; shattered on the ground like glass presented plainly for the Gods above to criticize.
“This is your fault.” Audric’s deep voice appeared in my head, anxiety wrapping around my cold body. I walk further into the field to ground myself. “A clean kill…” His voice echoed, hitting off the stone walls of the underground, causing me to have a headache. His smirk against my bare neck sickening my teeth so much they felt like they wanted to rot away. I was viewed as a mere pawn, a toy for him to use to get whatever he wanted. I wanted to scream. I may as well have been responsible for two deaths that day.
One who thought my meager, mortal life was worth dying for, protecting. I can still hear his sharp gasp piercing my mind till there was nothing left of it. When Audric pulled the blade from his chest. “Keep fighting.” He faintly told me through painful gasps, kissing my quivering lips to soothe my sorrow and anguish.
It was never me who truly needed comfort; it was Dontis-who never failed to find a way to make even the worst human on this despicable world feel loved. I catch myself reminiscing the way i nodded slightly, tears streaming down my face like warm honey. I was a murderer, dealing with a weight on my back, I, who sought more bad than good. The wind blew gentle swirls through my hair offering a condescending chill down my spine.
“What are you doing out here?” A deep rich sound emanated from a familiar tone, the octave of his voice soft yet firm. I do not dare face him, not when I’m in such a state. But i do however respond.
“I needed some air.” I muttered flatly, my gaze fixed on a large oak tree standing grand and tall, with its branches reaching out gracefully pointing up towards the crescent of the moon. The wind started to grow stronger, providing goosebumps along my skin, sweeping across my arms, then my chest, almost freezing in place.
“Love common, you shall not stay out here any longer, you’ll catch a cold, and i do not wish for you to grow sickly.” He explained as he started to walk into view.
I noticed he was wearing his usual beige slacks, accompanied by a black polo shirt, with his doc martin boots. His cross earrings dangling, captured by the presence of the moonlight.
Greeted with beauty such as Xanthus’ was still astonishingly breathtaking. His golden-short hair framed his perfect pale skin, his face sculpted to perfection. His piercing red eyes stared into mine intently, knowing he could sense my guilt.
The sight still made me nervous. “I am fine, i promise.” I lied, biting the inside of my cheek expecting him to scold me for hiding the truth, but i was stubborn.
His gaze softened, as he began to cup my face in his palms.
“I can sense your lying, it seems you often forget that.” Xanthus teased, suddenly scooping me up in his strong arms. I squealed a little, but i was too tired to fight him over it. He turned back to his manor, eventually reaching the stairs as he ascended up them.
I grumbled as he eventually sat me down on our bed.
He rolled his eyes as he sat down next to me, offering his lap for my head to rest. I slowly put my head onto his lap; the warm, soft material of his slacks against my cheek, striking a temporary stark of contentment throughout me. He gently, absentmindedly played with the strands of my hair, nuzzling his nose in my neck. I closed my eyes, waiting for the night to take me to a realm of somewhere quiet or peaceful.
Although Xanthus set the standard of being the epitome of tranquility. He was my safe space.
“Thank you, Xanthus.” I whispered softly exhaling all my worries, my eyelashes fluttering against my cheek.
Xanthus pressed a soft, loving kiss to my lips. “No need to thank me love, ill be here till you wake up.”
“I love you…” I announced without thinking, the cherished words reached his ears, leaving him in brief silence.
Then a small genuine smile pulled from the corners of his lips, as he carefully readjusted me on his lap.
“My love for you reaches unlimited depths, by you i am forever undone” And by this it felt like i was falling in love with him all over again.
I dreamt about Dontis that night, a surprisingly decent dream for once. It was the time we had all visited the aquarium together. The closeness of him brought me serenity yet sadness.
From then I decided when that dream was over I would one, hold his words close to my heart and cherish them forever, never forgetting the sacrifice he made for us. And two, I will strive to live, if not for myself, then for him.
tags: @Haji07, @drippyeagerr, @fliisssss,@primmroseitsnotmyrealnamebtw,@maymaybe4, @sweetpoizen, @dak0xxdak0.
turnnoffyourmind
yousharknotpass
theartofmadeline
stormborns
