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Two Brains

B1: Hey stop feeling sad, you got work to do. Things to study. Stuff to try.

B2: Why do I feel so incapable of making connections with people?

B1: Go kickboxing, go do to the gym. Run it off.

B2: Why do I feel like I’m just working to live and not working so I can enjoy life?

B1: Keep trying, that’s the essence of life.

B2: Why do I feel like I can’t reach out to anyone when I’m feeling so low? B1: Watch some Netflix, relax get away for a bit.

B2: Why do I feel like disappearing?

B1: As long as I’m still functioning you won’t be gone.

B2: Why do I feel like I have to drag myself through this knowing that I’m not any happier at this age?

Mellow ranting.

What is it with dating? It feels like a moving target that lives in an inverted, anti-Newtonian world. You take a dap at it each time and attempting to change your strategy. However, each tactic seems to backfire every time and you end up losing another chess piece. Do I over-analyze each 'connection' made, even though connections made on a transient platform has a connection no stronger than cotton candy; sweet, but not long-lasting.

Some days, I want to ask myself, maybe it's time to re-wire my brain. Live for something that is consistently more exciting. Stop this insanity of swiping like a wind shield wiper. Stop letting each drop of rain fall to the group and shivel up. Commit to something greater. Live for yourself.

However, as I say this, I would simply U-turn in a few days and continue again, my cyclic drive in the rain