what if it all worked out in my favour
The Bowery Presents
we're not kids anymore.

#extradirty
almost home
Show & Tell
wallacepolsom
art blog(derogatory)
NASA
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
YOU ARE THE REASON
Fai_Ryy
The Stonewall Inn

No title available
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH

Product Placement

roma★
Keni

Discoholic 🪩
No title available
RMH
seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from Bangladesh
seen from Germany

seen from Bangladesh

seen from Spain

seen from United States

seen from Australia
seen from Lithuania

seen from Colombia

seen from Bolivia

seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from Singapore

seen from Türkiye

seen from United States

seen from Australia

seen from United States

seen from Taiwan

seen from Malaysia
@damagedcollab
what if it all worked out in my favour
I always think of the description I saw years ago: Self-imposed deadlines don't help me, because I know the person who set them, and they're full of shit.
Give yourself the treat before you start. I'm serious. And ideally during the task and afterwards too.
Executive dysfunction comes from a lack of available dopamine. Common advice is wrong. You need to provide your own dopamine before you can start. Otherwise you're trying to run your car on empty.
"But what if I still don't do it" well you already weren't getting it done anyway. Now you have a little treat. Try again later.
You deserve kindness and care even when you aren't being productive.
(Also read How to Keep House While Drowning by KC Davis)
I give my students a LOT of techniques for starting writing when it feels overwhelming or daunting, but one of them is exactly this: dopamine load BEFOREHAND. It may sound weird to people on tumblr dot com, but a lot of people seriously struggle with executive dysfunction when it comes to writing literally anything, to the extent that it can cause such symptoms as panic, depression, and AI chatbot use.
I usually suggest this technique as a "Reverse Pomodoro." In the original Pomodoro, you work for 25 minutes and then take a break for 5 minutes (the times vary, but that's the essential ratio). People with executive dysfunction often find this insurmountable, and they get even more frustrated, and then the task seems even more difficult. So instead, flip those times.
FIRST, spend 25 minutes doing something energizing and engaging that you like to do. Not scrolling social media passively, not watching tv, not napping. Try something like colouring, doing yoga, running/walking around the block, talking about your favourite tv show with someone in real time, playing with the dog or cat, making and eating a lovely sandwich, hula hooping, something active. Having a little treat absolutely falls in this category!
(on the subject of little treats: refusing yourself food until you do work is for fucking Puritans and you can be kinder to yourself)
Then, after 25 minutes (or however long it takes to eat the sandwich or finish the yoga routine, it doesn't have to be exact), spend 5 minutes writing (or doing whatever you're struggling to start). Most people can coax themselves into doing something they find difficult for five minutes, if they have already filled up the joy/energy/engagement bucket. You can put a timer on for the 5 minutes if you want, or if you find that annoying, just work for as long as you like.
The other key is: don't push yourself to keep going when you're frustrated or tired—that will just reinforce the negative belief that you already have, which tells you that this task is painful to do, and needs to be avoided. If you've commonly had to force yourself to do this kind of task, that's likely part of why you think of it as painful and have trouble starting it now. Also, you should just, at a basic level, try not to put yourself in pain for the sake of productivity. So just do it till the good feelings run out. Then start hula hooping or colouring again for another 25 minutes. When the tank's refilled, try another 5 minutes of work, if you can. Adjust times to taste.
Not every technique works for everyone, but I've seen this one work for many students who are genuinely and seriously disabled by executive dysfunction. And many people find themselves getting more and more excited and engaged in the "difficult" task—because the good feelings from the hula hooping carry over, and because they're suddenly able to do the task without feeling pain, and feel accomplishment without feeling pain.
Was trying to be kind to some folks questioning whether they had PDs and some total dipshit came in like "heh... I dealt with a narcissist once... I'll tell you the story later" and normally I'd just bitch in private to my friends but that guy's been an insensitive creep for as long as I've known him so I went on a rant that probably makes me look like a total SJW now fuuuuck
practicing self care less out of self love and more for the sheer logical reasoning of it’d be kinda stupid of me to expect myself to be able to function without proper maintenance
“oh i don’t deserve rest and relaxation, i haven’t done enough, i haven’t earned it” and my car’s breaks don’t deserve break fluid because they aren’t breaking well enough to earn it. that’s what you sound like!!!!!
"SURVIVING"
I love yall. Whoever you are. I'll always love you person reading this.
sorry for the nervous breakdown everyone im actuallt fine because i have to be
And then you can’t even say shit about bc people start trying to put you in a jacket and shit. Like omg it’s so strict???
What helped me write trauma better is remembering that the nervous system learns predictions. If danger used to come after quiet, calm can feel threatening. If kindness used to come with a price, kindness can feel suspicious. So healing is not just “they know they’re safe now.” Healing is the slow, annoying, deeply unfair process of teaching the body that the old prediction is not always the present truth.
pissing myself off so much i get brain damage
"5 years ago I expected to be gone before 21. I'm 22 now, and so glad I kept fighting. Even with all the crap that we are dealing with right now, i would make that same decision again today."
TikTok OP's pronouns are she/they.
on communication with parts of yourself and finding shared purpose
doodle inspired by a tweet i saw :3
DO I EXIST?
Jody Chan aubade for the BPD subreddit user who wrote can people with BPD love? // 鉄男 Tetsuo: The Iron Man (1989) dir. Shinya Tsukamoto // The Mountain Goats Birth of Serpents // Dorothea Lasky Love Poems for Bathsheba // Zen Cho The Four Generations of Chang E // atlas a conversation about identity // Silent Hill 3 (2003) cr. Konami // Richard Siken You Are Jeff // unknown // Roe Gardner Requiem // Teki Yatsuda Sleeping on Paper Boats // Jane Mead World of Made and Unmade
You know what the worst part of having a dissociative disorder is, for me personally?
The emotional amnesia.
Your entire life feels like something that you watched on TV, rather than something that you actually lived through.
You know that some of the most horrific things imaginable have happened to you, and you feel nothing about it. Sure, the memories disgust you on principle, but you don’t feel anything.
It makes you question if anything that you remember is real. If that actually happened, shouldn’t it feel significant? Shouldn’t you be sad, angry, hurt, something?
And to top it all off, nobody understands. Not even yourself.
i don't even think i'm something real at all
Last Words of a Shooting Star - Mitski // Leech Boy - Crywank // unknown // Spoken For - Flavor Foley // Unknown // Claude Monet
He's fickle these days but can you blame him. Considering the circumstances