Ahhhh I hate having a crush, I'm over here dying. Like I want every second of their attention. I can't stop thinking of that he are taking up every inch of my brain everything I do has just been surrounded by them. I want he's opinion on everything that I like everything that I do. he's been in my dreams like three times this week. Like every second their faces in my mind and it's just that small smile they have that just feels so perfect and so right when they looks at me with it. It's not fair he's everything I wanted a person why does he have to be so perfect. And he's graduating and joining the US Navy.
Can we just talk about how in season 1 I think episode 12 maybe 11 Frank Gallagher basically gets assaulted by a teenage girl. because by the way the camera moves when we're kind of halfway in his point of view he's visibly out of it he's not fully there he's not fully capable of making choices and she just halfway forces herself on he and films it which in most States is illegal to film without both party consent but that's just how I perceived it. I perceived it as him being out of it and from what I saw it was more of she kind of forced it so he was basically assaulted he was assaulted by teenage girl and then not to mention he was blamed I think there was like two to three people who blamed him for it. he was like clearly out of it he was clearly high I hate the guy
My fever was breaking, while I was still weak the trembling has finally left my body. Grisha has allowed me to start feeding myself again, though he still has me eating the same porridge from before. While I would like to move on to more solid food I don’t want to push my luck until my body is recovered. Grisha read to me his medical notes, with me inserting a different perspective or information I had that he didn’t. It was nice to have conversations with someone who didn’t mind my interest in medical science and actively engaged in it with me. I could be happy here.
The spoon freezes halfway to my mouth, and I set it down as realization sinks.
“Is everything alright?” Grisha asks, his hand was on my shoulder as concern filled his eyes, journal temporarily forgotten in his lap.
I clear my throat as I curse at myself in my thoughts, “I’m fine, just an unimportant thought.”
“Alright, are you done eating?” He continues softly, tucking my unruly hair behind my ears. It’s gotten so long.
“I am, thank you.”
“Mm,” a kiss is planted on my temple as the bowl is taken away and he leaves.
I see a pair of scissors on Grisha’s desk, getting out of the bed to grab them. There’s a sink with a mirror in the bathroom down here. I have to lean against the sink so I don’t tip over from the dizziness, the cold ceramic biting into my skin.
My reflection looks as sick as I feel, something I quickly grow tired of looking at. I grab as much of my hair as I can in one hand and start sawing away the excess length. The hair that gets cut off is tossed into the waste bin. It doesn’t take me long, the end result being no longer than my jaw. I tidied some sections and shortened others until I was satisfied.
Once I was, I put the scissors back and grabbed the matches that Grisha uses to light the lantern. The waste bin, thankfully being made of metal, is placed into the sink followed by a lit match into it. The hair quickly burns; it’s stench and the sound of sizzling pops filling the air.
I leave the bathroom after ensuring there are no remaining embers only to see Grisha rushing down the stairs.
“What was burning? What happened to your hair!?” Grisha questions as his hands find my shoulders, he’s quickly pulling me to his chest and his fingers are running through my freshly shorn hair.
“I didn’t like how long my hair was,” I wrap my arms around him as I nuzzle into him. One part to keep the ploy up, the other because I truly wanted to. I ignore how the idea of deceiving him made me nauseous.
“You could’ve told me.”
“I didn’t want to bother you,” I lie. I couldn’t tell him I needed to feel some form of control.
“Then we need to get you back to bed. Clearly the fever is still affecting your head if your having such silly thoughts,” his response has me letting out a snort, “Why burn your hair though?”
I think about the best way to answer him as I’m put back into my the nest, “Superstition I suppose, it represents burning the past to make way for the future.”
“Like when farmers prepare the field for the next harvest,” Grisha says as he redoes the nest, my hand quickly latches onto the dark blue blanket that I’ve been favoring when he grabs it.
My face heats as I realize what I did, “R-right, I don’t know why I- you can have it,” I stutter out as I let go of the blanket.
Grisha merely chuckles at my embarrassment, then he brings the blanket up to his jaw. My confusion over the action only increases when he rubs the fabric along the bottom. When he was done with it he wraps it around my shoulders. The scent that came from it was stronger now, must’ve been because Grisha has been scenting it from the start.
“No need to feel embarrassed, it’s normal for little ones to find comfort from their parent’s scent,” Grisha explains as he ruffles my hair. Except, I’m an adult. I shouldn’t be exhibiting this behaviour, something is wrong. I know something is wrong and it’s all his fault.
His thumb tracing my under eye reminds me of his presence, “Right, I guess that makes sense.” Why can’t I blame him as easily as I could in the beginning? How long have I been down here?
“Where’s Cordelia?”
“Hm?”
“My sister, where’s my sister?” I could feel my breathing start to pick up as panic sinks it teeth in.
“She got moved upstairs so your fever wouldn’t spread to her.” There’s something off with Grisha’s smile. It only causes my panic to worsen even as he tries to soothe me by massaging my shoulders.
“How long ago was that? And why didn’t I notice?”
“You don’t need to worry about that-”
“I was walking earlier, I shouldn’t have been able to!” I realize as I try to pull away from Grisha.
Grisha only lunges forward to wrap his arms around me. I can’t hear what he’s murmuring into my temple, too focused on trying to get him away from me by clawing at whatever I can reach. One of his arms moves away from me and I try to leave through the gap that was made but his other arm tightens it’s hold on me. It’s tight enough that I can feel his shoulder start to cut off my oxygen from pressing into my neck. Then his other arm is back around me and I can feel a needle pierce into the meat of my shoulder.
“No! No! You can’t do this to me!” I shout as I fight harder. It’s does nothing to stop the weakening effects of the sedative.
“You were doing so well,” Grisha says morosely as he tucks me in, “I’m not disappointed though, relapses are bound to happen with minds as stubborn as ours.” Everything goes dark, whether that’s because he’s turn the lanterns off or because I fall unconscious I can’t say.
------
The basement is dark when I open my eyes, looking out the window shows that the sun has gone down. There isn’t anyone else here with me. I take the chance to look through the room to see if anything has been left behind that I could use. The first thing I notice was Grisha’s medical bag, while there was a myriad of tools and drugs I leave it be for now. I don’t want to hurt him, and since I don’t know the proper dosage of the drugs here that rules them out. The scalpels and other medical tools go without saying.
Moving onto his desk I take caution while I search through it. The bag having things that are a touch out of place is to be expected since items are bound to move around during transportation. But a desk that doesn’t get moved around? A little more suspicious and so caution is required in order to place everything back where it belongs.
It’s not until the final drawer on the right that I find something I can use. A syringe with a liquid that matches what Grisha normally uses on me. The liquid wasn’t foggy and there was no debris floating inside so it should still be safe to use. Not like it’ll kill him if it wasn’t, maybe make him a little sick. Settling with my decision I return back to the bed and hide the syringe in the crack between the mattress and the wall, once hidden I fall back to sleep.
------
The smell of food causes me to stir from my sleep. Grisha sits on the chair with a bowl of porridge, it seems more red today than normal. As I sit up I notice steam coming out in a steady stream from his collar. Something must’ve hurt him recently but what? And why does that make me upset?
“Why are you hurt?”
“A small wound, it’s nothing for you to worry about. How did you sleep?” Grisha deflects.
“Fine.”
“I see, I’ve brought your food,” Grisha continues as he offers me the bowl.
“… Thank you.”
Grisha simply smiles at me and ruffles my hair before standing up. He walks over to the bookshelf with all of his journals to pick out what he would like to read to me today.
I don’t hesitate to set the bowl on the end table and grab the syringe I’ve hidden away and slowly creep up on Grisha. It’s when he turns that I jab it into his neck, the sedative takes quick effect and I catch his body as he falls. I can’t ignore my mixed feelings that have developed, if it wasn’t for the stifling and if I didn’t have Cordelia I wouldn’t mind staying. But I need my freedom and I need to take care of Cordelia. I take a pillow from the bed and leave it under his head. My monster smiles in a way that bares it’s inner teeth in self-satisfied delight. Searching his pockets I take the key from them and the one from around his neck.
I’m still on my knees when I place a hand on the shoulder closest to me. I hesitate, but I take a moment to curl into him on my side. Pulling his arm around me and clinging to it I take a moment to let out a shuddering cry. It feels wrong to leave him, it feels just as wrong to not fight. I feel like simply doing it for Cordelia’s sake isn’t as true as it once was. The idea of just giving in was terrifying, not when I know something will go wrong, not when I know all of this is on a ticking clock. I swallow my tears and get up, catching Grisha’s arm to set it down gently. I have to keep moving forward.
The key from around his neck doesn’t fit, but the other one does and I am able to open the door.
Only to see Eren staring me down on the other side with an anger fueled glare. That in itself was not what was frightening, it was the fact that he was an adult. That isn’t supposed to be, Zeke in the dining room definitely shouldn’t fucking be. Eren grabs onto my wrist and drags me back down to the cellar. I turn to try and understand the scene I saw only to see Zeke shut the door while looking sadly at me, the lock clicking into place. I have to turn my gaze away when I almost stumble from how hard Eren is tugging on me. It’s also the only reminder I need to tell me that he won’t happy by what he’ll find.
And happy he was not, he turns sharply and tugs my arm towards him.
“What did you do?” Eren questioned with a growl, his eyes dilated.
I bare my teeth at his display, “I gave him what he gave me.”
“He better wake up.” Eren threatens with another jerk of my arm and the tightening of his hand on my arm.
Fight.
My monster spoke, and I stare at it. It hasn’t spoken to me before, I thought it couldn’t. But I can feel my own pupils dilate as the room becomes sharper.
Fight back.
My teeth sinks into Eren’s arm and he swears as I salivate, only letting go when he starts to hit back. My monster jeers as it watches Eren’s blood drip to the floor. He steps back but I don’t give him the chance to do anything else as I lunge at him. The fever makes my head pound and blood run hot but it only makes me sway on my feet. Nothing could distract me from this, not when something finally feels right.
We go at each other as if we were rabid animals, I managed to get a few more bites in and the blood from them breaking his skin runs down my chest. My own blood running down Eren’s from when he managed to bite me. There’s a bruise throbbing on my cheek that matches the black eye he received. I manage to place my left leg behind his and before he can notice it, I take him to the ground.
I straddle his hips and I wrap a hand around his throat. My other hand rears back and I manage to punch him in the nose even as he thrashes under me causing it to break. I hear a pattering of running feet approaching us but I was too focused on this singular moment care.
“Stop! I want to stay! Stop!” Cordelia screams as she grabs my fist and I freeze.
I stare at my sister, tears running down her face as her words and presence register, “What?”
Eren, taking advantage of my stunned state, grabs onto my left arm and jerks it to the right as he slides out from under me. It causes my front to be pressed into the floor, my chin stinging from the scrape it received from the worn floor. Eren straddles my lower back, pinning my wrists above me when I try to grab and yank him off. I thrash harder when I see Grisha get to his feet, but there’s no weakness in his movements. It was as if he wasn’t under a sedative at all, the feeling of ice goes down my spine as pieces start to slide into place.
Then there’s the feeling of my hair being brushed away and a warm breath on the back of my neck. Something that felt so intrinsically wrong that I stiffen hard enough to feel my joints strain. I let out a whimper at the feeling of teeth biting down on my nape, but they stop at a gentle pinch and repeat the motion. Eren massages the outer area of my nape with his teeth simultaneously using his tongue to apply the same amount of pressure to the center.
The pressure is, soothing, and surprisingly pleasing. The tension fading from my body as I relaxed, even Grisha leading Cordelia by the hand only had my fingers weakly try to pull me towards them. Eren increases the pressure on my nape in response causing me to relax more, at the same time the hand holding my hair back starts to scratch my scalp while the other laces with one of mine to hold it.
“Eren,” His growling has Grisha letting out a huff of fond exasperation, “I’m not telling you to stop, just move to the bed. It’ll be better for both them and you.” I must’ve missed the beginning of the conversation.
Only when Grisha and my sister was gone did Eren unlatch, picking me up in a cradle carry to take us to the bed as he rubs a cheek against me. The moment we’re both laying down in the bed, one arm around my chest while the other was around my waist to hold me as close to his chest as possible, the teeth were back. I felt myself curl up and press further into him. Eren lets out a huff and pulls back, causing me to let out a needy whine.
He hushes me in response as the sound of cloth rustling fills the air. I see his shirt and pants get thrown to the floor in front of me before he starts maneuvering my body to do the same to me. I was completely limp during this process, I couldn’t move any of my limbs and soon gave up on trying to make them respond. Once my clothes have joined his Eren resumes the same position as before.
His legs tangled with mine as his arms tugged me flush to his chest. Eren’s hands kneading into my torso as he starts purring. I can’t help but to let out my own stumbly purr as I sink deeper into the docile head-space Eren’s nibbling has caused. I was tired and could feel sleep calling to me, but before I close my eyes I see the monster in the corner turn it’s head. From the back of it’s nape spikes begin to grow.
------
“Eren isn’t going to let you go down there by yourself anymore, especially when he finds out that this was all staged to test them,” Zeke says to him when the door is shut.
“I know,” Grisha sighs as he sits at the dining table, “I think that could be a good thing though.”
“More people to keep them on their toes means more opportunity to make them better,” Zeke responds, ash falling into it’s tray.
“Precisely, though, I think that they’re already there, it’s just their titan that keeps pushing them forward.”
“You’re going to have to do something to debilitate them, that’s to undo some of the treatment.”
“It will, but how fortunate that they have an older brother to help them heal.”
“You’re going to have to make a schedule so Eren doesn’t hog all of their time.”
“Carla is working on it already, she has a knack for these things.
“That she does,” Zeke snuffs out the butt of his cigarette, “I’m heading out.”
“Okay, stay safe.”
Grisha doesn’t get a response, just the shutting of a door and a silent house.
Does anyone remember a twisted wonderland story where you still come in the same way after being there for a bit you show one of the teachers this birthmark on your back and it turns out it's my birthmark but the spell to change how you look and it turns out you're leona kidnap sibling or whatever and then there's like two parts where he basically tries to get you to stay and live with him and be sick ones because he really loved you and he really miss you and he blamed himself and shit and this was like at least 3-4 years ago
I remember commenting on it but will you go to see your comments it only goes back so far I wish Tumblr could let you see all your comments that you've ever made because I don't make that many and I like to do it to keep track of my the posts I like so if anyone remembers this please help me to remember the name cuz I've been trying to find it for the past like month
I think parents don't understand how punishing a child isn't for when they make you upset, it's for when they do something wrong. Like, you don't just punish them for stress relief, it's so they can learn right from wrong.
So if your kid learns, for example, that helping mom make dinner = getting in the way, but not helping = being lazy, but asking if mom needs help = being annoying and asking stupid questions, then you have basically trained a person to see the only option that doesn't lead to scolding as 'hide and don't be thought of until dinner is done'. So now what relationship is your kid going to have with cooking or cleaning or chores in general? How is that going to affect them as an adult?
If there is no right answer regarding the things that bother a parent, then your kid is going to associate those things with being punished no matter what they do. If talking during a car ride is bad and annoying, but being quiet and staring out the window is bad and disrespectful, then what are they going to do every time they're in the car with you but count every word they say? If texting is suspicious, but why don't they have friends, but going out with people is irresponsible, but why don't they ever leave their room, but their friends are all bad influences, but why did they stop hanging out with them, they were nice kids, then what are you even doing?
If playing video games is lazy, going outside is unsafe, playing is ignoring chores and doing chores is being in the way, then YOU'VE CREATED A CHILD WHO'S LEARNED THE ONLY WAY TO AVOID BEING SCOLDED IS TO DISAPPEAR WHENEVER YOU'RE IN A BAD MOOD! You've created a person who is hardwired to feel guilty no matter what they choose to do. You turned them into a confrontation ninja, who can vanish as soon as a hard conversation enters the picture. You've trained a person to disregard why rules exist and instead focus on who they can placate and suck up to in order to make the rules change. Because to them, rules and punishments are just who gets on the bosses nerves at the wrong time.
Someone a clarisse x chris x male reader because I can't find that anywhere and those two are like the cutest couple ever and reader is like really into coquette kawaii Japanese fashion and bright colors and Deco fashion if anyone knows that means and he has like long hair that's always being died and is always really chaotic and drags Chris and Clarisse to the woods and they hang out and it's just really like brain rot cuteness
izzy806
origamiaround
blakekathryn
kaledo-art
stormborns
tangentwithtanner
kianamaiart
