VALENTINE'S DAY COUNTDOWN
Guilty as Sin - Leon S. Kennedy
Pairing: Leon S. Kennedy x female readerTags: fluff, comfort, angst, smut, cheating, guilt, forbidden love, first person narrative.
Word count: don't know, don't care
Prompt: After 7 years of relationship with your partner things start to go down and you feel alone until your new co-worker walks in, restoring your faith in love, making you feel in high school again, but don't forget, you are still in a relationship.
Notes: Am I projecting myself in this? Yes, yes I am. Life sucks and “love” has long since ceased to be the answer to why I’m still with my partner. So I wrote this to comfort myself (I don't condone cheating) and, although I've never touched his skin, when I think of one of my fictional loves it feels like cheating is what I do. This promt is written in first person because I feel it connects better with the character that way. Also listen to the song Guilty as sin while you read this and for fucks sake someone bring Leon S. Kennedy to life so he can writte mine in my upper thigh.
How does the dream of your life turn into monotony? At what point does it go from being the thing you loved the most to just another routine? How long does it take for love to die? Does love has an expiration date? Unfortunately, I couldn't answer any of those questions. 7 years of a moderately stable relationship, but the memories and habits we had forged together were no longer enough, not when we slept apart at night, barely spoke to each other during the day and our time together was a maximum of 6hrs each month. It was over once, 3 months apart, my shoulders had never felt so... light? As if the weight I was carrying was melting away. 3 months in which I hadn't cried (for having carried the grief within the relationship). No one understood why we had returned. When my friends asked why, I couldn’t give em an answer, I guess part of me thought I could cure him? Save him? change him? When the reality was that he was taking me overboard with him. It hadn't all been bad, in the beginning life seemed like a sweet melody of love, our steps following the same rhythm, the same path. As time went by, the melody became sad, stormy, my steps were no longer coordinated and it seemed that he was tired of dancing with me.
I didn't mean for things to end this way, but Leon was so kind, so sweet, so handsome, looking at me like I was the best thing at the party, it had been so long since anyone had looked at me like that, as if he really saw me. His woodsy scent impregnated in the jacket draped over my shoulders as we walked back to his car, his hand holding my waist and the other on my heart. I didn't intend to go that far, but his lips were so soft, his kisses full of love and desire for me, I couldn't remember the last time I had been kissed that way. I told myself it would be the only time, but I had never been good at lying. Emotional deception is the worst kind of cheating but I couldn't stop, his laughter, his smile, every word that came out of his mouth, it was as if velvet was pouring out of his voice, wrapping me in a soft blanket that covered my aching heart, healing it. I was so lonely and he was so so willing to listen to me. And I noticed it, I noticed it every day when I was excited to receive his message wishing me good morning, I noticed it in the butterflies in my stomach when I found flowers from him on my desk, I noticed it when my heart was beating like crazy having him near, when he would take my cheek and hold his touch for a few seconds too long just to be “friendly”. It had become a necessity for me, looking for him in every hallway, making time just to find him when I went up the elevator, working overtime to get out at the same time. My heart fisically ached being away from him.
Every night the cold of my bed brought my imagination back to him, his hands, his touch, his kisses as he praised my body, cherising every part of it as if I were his only source of light. His mouth inside my folds, sucking the life out of me like a starving man, his moans and mine creating a melody so hot I could cum just remembering it. My hand circled around my swollen clit, while with the other I held tightly to the sheets of my bed. I remembered his strokes working their way inside me, filling me until I was so cockdrunk for him, each onslaught sending more waves of pleasure, building up in my lower belly as my tits bounced up and down.
“Fuck, baby, you're so tight,” he picked up the pace making me moan his name so loudly that everyone in his building would gasp at the pleasure he was giving me. “Shit... I'm going to cum, where...?”
“Inside... fill me up please” my orgasm taking over me, my walls closing around him trapping him inside me as his seed filled me completely. I could feel him slipping between my legs mixing with my own juices. After the pleasure he kept me close to him, holding me in his arms caressing my hair murmuring sweet nothings in my ears.
“I'm so screwed” I heard him say. I tried to hold still, controlling my breathing so he wouldn't notice I was still awake. I felt his hand caress my upper thigh in the same place where he had left a hickey as if reclaiming me as his. A purplish red mark with a clear message, mine “I won't be able to stay away from you now”.
That night not only I slept with him, but I gave him my heart, being there in his strong arms, lulled to sleep by his heartbeat, so close to him, as if he was afraid I was going to disappear.
I had run away from him before the sun rose. My heart yearning for his love once again, my body missing his touch. But it was wrong. What I was doing was wrong but I couldn't stop, I didn't want to stop. When I closed my eyes I found his face, when I was in the stores I saw his silhouette everywhere, in every couple I saw I saw us, at least what could be.
I had a drawer with my partner's clothes at home, but I pretended I was alone because if he didn't know then I wouldn't hurt him. It was partly my fault that everything went to shit, but after years of giving my best and only getting crumbs my heart had grown tired.
______________________________________
2 days after giving my everything to him, Leon called me in for a meeting.
“Mr. Kennedy... Leon” his name escaping my lips as if it were a promise between the two of us. Every time he called me into his office to discuss something I found myself getting excited like a teenager with her first crush.
“You know I don't like you calling me Mr. Kennedy” his smile was big, showing me his shiny white teeth "We are...friends” but the glint in his eyes gave away his true intentions. Before him my days were gray and now, every time I saw him the sky turned the perfect blue of his eyes, invading me, sweeping away all thoughts of sadness leaving just him. I was a drifting ship and he was the sweet land calling me. “Penny for your thoughts?” He said, noticing I was distracted.
“Is there anything I can do to help?” He’s concern seemed genuine. Oh handsome, don't make me love you even more
“You don't want to hear me rant about my life, believe me” I said shaking my head.
“I do if it helps you” his look, so worried and his frown was too adorable for his own good.
“My relationship is going downhill and I can't take it anymore, I don't even remember why I wanted to be with him. I tried my best to make him happy and supported him in everything, but I lost myself in the process and I can't seem to find myself.” I turn to look at him, his bright blue eyes dismayed “But it scares me so much because he's all I've ever known, he was my first everything, what if I'm not enough for someone else? What if no one else loves me?”
He wipes a silent tear from my left cheek and caresses it “Anyone would be happy to have you. And if that bastard can't see how lucky he is then fuck him. Love should make you feel happy and anxious in a nice way, you're supposed to want to be with that person 24/7 even if it gets on your nerves. Your love should be celebrated not tolerated. If he were me, I would do anything to keep you by my side.”
“It's true and I know it's the worst timing but I...I can't stand to see you like this because of that jerk when I'm here. I know you think it was a mistake but gods to me it was everything, you are everything. I want to make things right with you, I want you and I'm dying to have you in my arms again” I hadn't noticed how close he was to me, trapping me between his bookshelf and his body. His lips dangerously close, the butterflies, the nerves taking over me, every fiber of my body claiming his warmth, needing his touch. The small conscious part of my brain tried to hold back but as Leon closed the space between us bringing our lips together, emotions overflowed me, throwing my arms around his neck, I let go. Allowing him to deepen the kiss as he pulled me closer to his body, his tongue asking permission to explore my mouth, the minty taste lingering on his tongue as he kissed me. It wasn't like any kiss I'd ever had, not because I had a lot of experience, I'd actually only kissed two people (him and my partner) but kissing my almost ex definitely didn't feel like this. Leon kissed with passion, the need for me written on every part of his mouth, his lips soft and warm in comparison to his rough kisses as if a primal instinct took over him. He held me tight, arching my back molding every soft curve of my body to his perfectly formed one, as if we were made to be one.
There is a Greek myth. Humans used to have 2 faces, 4 arms and 4 legs, they were a whole. 2 entities in one, but the gods decided they were too dangerous that way, so they separated them, making them weak, broken, and left them to wander the earth in search of their other half. I never wondered if the person next to me was my other half, but here and now, I was sure that Leon was my other half.
And I'd gladly pledge guilty as sin if with that I can have him by my side.
