a few weeks ago, I found myself in the dark forest, alone. Armed with nothing but a sword and a shield. The dark forest was full of monsters that I had to defeat by myself. I never wanted to go there in the first place, but I had no choice. A black hole suddenly opened in the ground beneath me, and I fell. I have no idea how. It was a brutal battle. I was wounded in countless places, but I survived.
Today, I finally came home, only to find the house empty. Filled with darkness. Filled with silence. Filled with loneliness. You had simply taken your things and left. I saw the note you had left on the table, and I felt my heart shatter into a million pieces.
“When things get a little difficult, you just give up?” I asked myself as tears filled my eyes and I collapsed onto the floor.
My heart broke today. I protected it with a sword and a shield, just like I did in the dark forest. I no longer have the strength for this endless war called life. Somehow, time and time again, I find myself dragged back into that forest full of monsters. I don’t really need to be dealing with a broken heart right now. I prayed it was all just a nightmare, but I was wrong.
I called you, and for the first time, you decided to answer. I begged you not to do this to me, but you wouldn’t listen. I told you that everything could be fixed, and once again you refused. I wished you nothing but the best in the world because even though right now I feel like I hate you for what you’ve done to me, I could never wish anything bad upon you. Not ever. Because with every breath I took these past months, I loved you so deeply.
Ever since I met you, you were all that occupied my thoughts. Then one day, you simply decided to get up and leave. Even after you promised me you wouldn’t. Even after all the promises and words you gave me, you still walked away. I will never understand how, out of everyone in the world, you were the one who left. I hung up the phone, threw it onto the floor, and cried uncontrollably. I smoked more cigarettes than I could even count.
I gathered the shattered pieces of my heart and placed them into a bag before setting it on fire. I said goodbye to the happy girl I used to be.
“It was too good to be true,” I told myself as I threw the burned remains into the sea.
My thoughts kept racing the entire way home while the rain poured down in a storm. I tried to force my emotions out and bury them, but they are lodged too deeply inside me. Maybe another day.
I lay down on the floor and stared at the ceiling. I feel empty. Dead. Without motivation. Without a soul. I do not understand how this happened, or why it had to be you. But it is a question I will never receive an answer to.
For now, I do not think I will get up from this floor anytime soon. Even though it is cold, I do not have the strength to stand.
