HELLO, HUMAN.

CURRENTLY 388 PATIENTS IN THIS ASYLUM OF INSANITY hi I'm dana I do things sometimes

[clamjob-deactivated20140702]

join tumblr

[danamitch0-o]

[whatcolorisitbig]

I just want to be in a really cute relationship where we can makeout and then talk about aliens and how tHEY EXIST

[danamitch0-o]

“Oh but you’re skinny isn’t that healthy??!!”

do

i

look

healthy

to

you?

[danamitch0-o]

wow. I posted this at least 2/3 years ago. so much has changed. I've gained weight, I grew up, I got healthy. now I'm beginning to fall off the other end, gaining too much weight instead of losing it. but I'm still healthy. I'm still insecure, I'm still unhappy with my body, but I've come to accept it and love it, and am trying to keep it healthy. it's never too late to try and it's never too early to try.

be healthy and happy friends I went from 90 pounds and 5'2" to 165 pounds and 5'4" in two years. keep trying.

[danamitch0-o]

so you ever just realize that as you grow older you’re slowly loosing your fat and muscle tissue as your skELETON RISES UP FROM YOUR DECAYING FLESH FOR THE WAR

[delightfullychaoticandcharming]

Well that turned out differently than I thought it would

[danamitch0-o]

idk about you but I need a video of Dan rapping a tøp song

[danschode]

dan howell rapping is going to be the worst thing of my life imma fuckin fold inside myself out of embarrassment but it will be worth it

[gwystyl]

Y'all can gush about m night shyamalan all you want but the biggest plot twist I’ve ever witnessed is Ben stiller releasing some crusty mummy from a sarcophagus and it ending up being the fine ass Rami Malek

[danisnotonfires]

[mickeyandcompany]

Disney villains + concept art

[jasontoddjpegarchive-deactivate]

She thought of the stars as beautiful creatures, burning and cold; each solitary and bleak, and silent like her.

[philavender-deactivated20190815]

Me: Phil is mine! Dan: BITCH YOU THOUGHT

[rosegardenns-deactivated2018061]

Okay but I really love how gentle the fan is with Phil’s hand, just kind of delicately holding it and then there’s Dan with a fucking death grip on Phil’s arm

[borderline-sunflower-deactivate]

i was on the train and 3 drunk girls saw me and said i had nice brown eyes so they sang “brown eyed girl” to me

[5348674174-deactivated20150510]

I threw up at a frat party and I was crying in the bathroom and a drunk girl went upstairs to get me a shirt and came back with a sweater and a kitten.

[locke-fuckscottlynch78-lamora]

At the last party I went to three drunk girls fishtail braided my hair by committee

[kaylapocalypse-deactivated20201]

a drunk girl drew an eye on the back of my hand and then patted it with satisfaction and  whispered “count olaf”

[wizzard890]

once at a barbecue a drunk girl gave the surgical scar on my shoulder a butterfly kiss and said “you’re cured”

[erincrocodile-deactivated202006]

A drunk girl at a bar I was at became worried that I wasn’t getting enough nutrition and proceeded to hold peanuts to my lips and just keep saying “peanut peanut” until I would eat it. And after I allowed her to feed me a peanut she pet my hair and said “Thank you”.

[mcdonalds-money]

Drunk girls, saving your life one wtf at a time.

[gh0stvirgo]

Girls are a fucking gift don’t let anyone tell you otherwise

[sw-or-gtfo-deactivated20211219]

my bf has many interesting stories and observations from his new job as a 911 operator

my favorite is how meandering people are, even in the midst of a terrible emergency

they respond to “what is the emergency” with “well, the thing is, four weeks ago–”

and then he’s like “WHAT IS THE EMERGENCY RIGHT NOW”

and they’re like “so what happened this morning was, i said to my wife, i said–”

“WHAT IS CURRENTLY HAPPENING AT THIS MOMENT”

“oh i’m having a heart attack”

my second favorite is how specific he has to get sometimes

like, “what is your emergency?”

“i’m sitting in a pool of blood.”

“… is it… your blood?”

“yes i think so”

“do you know where it’s coming from?”

“probably the stab wound”

“have you been stabbed?”

“oh yah definitely”

[lizawithazed]

In all fairness shock is a hell of a drug

[danamitch0-o]

Gryffindor online description: brave, noble, chivalrous, a little arrogant and reckless at times, but an all around hero

Gryffindor actual description: "TURN DOWN FOR WHAT?" *sees spider and screams*

Ravenclaw online description: witty, intelligent, tends to be eccentric, very smart and pretty nerdy,

Ravenclaw actual description: hasn't left the house in six days, is down to one square of toilet paper but doesn't notice because they're so deep into the Internet

Slytherin online description: cunning, clever, resourceful, can be ruthless and tends to be a villain on the worst days, but loyal to those they love

Slytherin actual description: gets hit in the head with a dodgeball in p.e. because they were busy thinking of ways to overthrow the government

Hufflepuff online description: kind, sweet, tends to be soft spoken, can be a pushover, loyal, hardworking, overly nice sometimes

Hufflepuff actual description: smiles a lot thinks about food 24/7 until someone disses their friend, then all hell breaks loose

[loseaquett]

Phil Lester defense squad/ fan club? 

[firebreathingeli]