actually this fucking slaps

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wallacepolsom
Sweet Seals For You, Always
taylor price
DEAR READER
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Kiana Khansmith
Today's Document

tannertan36
Jules of Nature
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
Misplaced Lens Cap

if i look back, i am lost
Keni
noise dept.
TVSTRANGERTHINGS
Claire Keane

⁂

★

ellievsbear
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@dancemoms4lyfe
actually this fucking slaps
Britney clearly has no idea what is happening in other countries.
Special Edition: Britney in Germany
Britney trying to understand “Donatellish”:
Good
me providing entertainment in the nuclear bunker when WW3 starts.
“white people can’t danc-”
“white people can’t twer-”
“hey aren’t you too old for Poké…”
when it’s november 1st
Songs with the same bpm but played over different than original video tracks give me life
WHAT FHR FUCK HAPPENRD TO THIS POST
Modern storytelling
messy, stressy and a lil depressy
i only have two emotions
yeah man
nah son
okay me but in 2017
My life.
Side chick shows up to the wedding 40 seconds in
Remove the babies
the gasps
My doggo, Ezri, who rarely barks and mostly borks.
When I got her, she’d been abused and would cower and pee at almost everything, and had been mistreated when she’d barked, so she never would. One day months after I had her she got excited on a walk and borked at a bird, and then immediately cower-peed. I had to re-teach her to bark by gathering her whole human pack and having everyone bark and howl and feed her treats and pet her till she got excited enough to join in, and then got more treats. Took a while but I was able to teach her to bork on command (and she’s gotta be excited or she just stares at me like “Sorry, the bork system needs charging”) and she’ll do it happily when she’s excited to go for a walk or upon seeing a friend, and at birds. I love her croaky borking, especially when she started off terrified of making a joyful noise.
What kind of dog is Ezri? I love her!!
I… did not expect this post to blow up this much but I am delighted at all the tags and replies and Ezri has been told the internet thinks she’s a Very Good Dog. :D
She’s a German spitz - in the same family as keeshonds and pomeranians. She might be crossed with something else as her freckled coat, non-pointy nose, and personality are not standard for her breed (they’re usually a lot more high energy and excitable - she’s super laid back and chill). She’s a bit less fluffy than breed-standard too, mostly because she’s grown out from her spring/summer trim (not usually necessary/good for her type of coat but she gets terribly itchy otherwise). It also makes her look like a puppy of a large breed:
Ezri’s best friend is Murder Cat, who is a gentle friend to humans and Ezri, but does things to mice that would make Hannibal Lecter go “Isn’t that a bit much?”
I got Murder Cat as a kitten, and she used to try to nurse on everything when she was small. Eventually, she settled on her favourite thing to nurse on, Ezri, who has never had puppies and a little confused at first but eventually went with it. She grew out of it, but they have stayed snuggly buddies ever since.
New Years here is full of fireworks outside and Ezri gets Vry Scared. I usually set her up somewhere with a snuggly spot right by me, and Murder Cat comes and does this all night:
She goes everywhere with me in my bakfiets (cargo bike) and lets me warm my hands in her fur on cold days.
And her ears disappear if I say her name to get her attention.
ok so great thanks for coming to my TED talk about my dog, good night, drive safe