Dance with Me @dancewithmatt - Tumblr Blog

meangirlnurse

i can’t stop laughing at this

agni-bi

I know this is a joke but you can counteract over salting by adding acid, like lemon juice or a splash of vinegar

meangirlnurse

we were baking brownies and added ¼ cup of salt instead of a ¼ teaspoon. eagerly awaiting your updated advice

ftmjerryseinfeld

you doubled the salt by 48. you can do that to the rest of your ingredients (like if you had a cup of sugar add 47 more cups). it’ll all balance out!

meangirlnurse

ok i do realize this but i also don’t actually have, like, 144 cups of flour lying around my apartment. and i cannot stress this enough: absolutely no one involved in this story was sober enough to drive anywhere for anything

lady-redhaired

Me in 2022 when the pandemic hasn’t ended yet because people don’t know how to act right and I’ve been holed up in my house for three years acquiring a new flavor of crazy, going to open the door for the guy in the hazmat suit that’s come to deliver my groceries

lew-basnight

When I was 18, circumstances found me stuck on the family farm for three months, alone with no vehicle. Twice my mom came back for half an hour to drop off food and smokes. There was no internet, only a couple fuzzy broadcast tv stations. Phone calls were expensive. The closest bump on the highway was about 500 people, with a Kwik Trip and some churches. It was about three hours each way. The closest neighbor was a mile away across hills and valleys.

By the end I was wearing a white robe and broad straw hat, carrying a sword, peeing on the lawn, performing magic on the hilltops. I was deep into some wild conspiracy shit and doing a lot of writing, making a lot of mix tapes. I talked intensely with the tv and radio, and developed in-depth relationships with the characters on “Hill Street Blues.”

If I learned anything from the experience, it is this.

Give in to the inevitable craziness right away, and just get comfortable.

higurashinonakukoronigou-moving

hold on im begging you for more information

whitepeopletwitter

animatedtext

oh-so-much-adhd

When you’re in the middle of procrastinating and suddenly the Will to Work™ hits you

c-bassmeow

THIS IS SO FUNNY I CANNOT DEAL

pr1nceshawn

Situations Anyone Who Has Laughed At The Anti-Vax Movement Can Relate To.

if-only-angels-could-prevail

again, there IS a problem of straight actors playing all the gay roles, but the answer isn’t as easy as “straight people shouldn’t play gay people” because a) it’s acting and there’s nothing intrinsically physical about gayness and b) it’s bad to insist that actors make their sexuality public information

if-only-angels-could-prevail