Dancing to Architecture

"writing about music is like dancing to architecture" - Frank Zappa, or George Carlin, or just somebody on the Internet. * If my thoughts on a song or album that you like are Wholly Incorrect In Your Estimation, let me know in the comments. Who knows? You might convince me. Some albums need time to marinate. * side-blog of @monsata

[dancing-to-architecture]

90 - Pink Floyd - The Wall

High up on my list of "Best Movie Soundtracks Ever", even though a. it's a rock opera and b. one of my favorite songs on the album is notably NOT in the film.

Also, an album I picked up WAY too early in life. This is not an album that should be mainlined by an impressionable young adolescent. (See also: Smashing Pumpkins)

And, if you haven't seen the movie, know going in that it's violent and disturbing and disorienting, it adds a LOT to the context of the album, and also you should really watch it twice.

•In The Flesh?-

One of the most bombastic and epic-feeling opening tracks I've ever experienced in my life.

I'm ALWAYS looking for that space cadet glow.

Also it ends like the album is ending, like entire goddamn world is ending, complete with the sound of a plane crash and everything, and then, with a baby's cry, we are introduced to our doomed protagonist.

•Thin Ice-

So, unlike quicksand, thin ice is a horror from my childhood only this one WILL ACTUALLY KILL YOU. Growing up in a small town where two rivers met, thin ice was a legitimate concern every winter.

And, while I don't recall as many people going under the ice as I do "Chicagoans getting wasted and falling to their death at Starved Rock", it was always in the back of my mind whenever the air hurt my face.

Regardless this song is about losing your sanity, and the two concepts are nonetheless linked in my mind, especially since high school makes you feel crazy.

•Another Brick In The Wall, Pt. 1-

This one makes me think of two things:

1. This Robert Anton Wilson quote:

"under the present brutal and primitive conditions on this planet, every person you meet should be regarded as one of the walking wounded. we have never seen a man or woman not slightly deranged by either anxiety or grief. we have never seen a totally sane human being."

2. My dad's hobby of late: burning all of his money by going on cruise ships multiple times a year.

"Daddy, what'd you leave behind for me?" Not fuckin much.

Otherwise this section of the album has one hell of a groove to it.

•The Happiest Days Of Our Lives-

So happy to say that I never had a *physically* abusive teacher.

Mentally and emotionally? I mean who didn't have at least one of *them* growing up?

(And yes I genuinely, honestly, hope "their psychopathic wives" beat the shit out of every single one of those bastards. If you are in a position of authority over children, and you use that to make their lives objectivly worse, for shit they had no hand in, I hope your eyeballs and throat and liver and kidneys all get ripped out by goddamned vultures.)

•Another Brick In The Wall, Pt. 2-

The anthem for my entire generation, and what should damn sure be the energy going forward (especially in Fascistland, I mean Florida, where "slavery was kinda good actually" and "AP Psych can not legally be taught anymore because it says that queer people exist".

We don't need no thought control.

And all in all, Ron Desantis is just another dick with no balls.)

Also, I was much older when I learned that when an Englishman says "pudding" they actually mean "basically any possible dessert" and not just, like, "tapioca".

•Mother-

Generating Lifelong Codependency: The Song.

5 minutes and 34 seconds of Bad Parenting Choices.

See the above Robert A. Wilson quote again.

•Goodbye Blue Sky-

Simultaneously one of the prettiest and one of the ugliest songs on the album.

Beautiful and horrible.

Also, one of my favorite of the animated segments in the film. Evocative as FUCK.

"The flames are all long gone

But the pain lingers on."

•Empty Spaces-

This is the sound of every dying relationship. Once the communication breaks down, the rot begins to take hold.

•Young Lust-

Now, THIS is a great song to get stuck in your head for a month and a half when you're a loser in your sophomore year of high school and nobody wants to really even look at you, let alone go out with you, and absolutely nobody wants to just fuck nasty, which is exactly what this song is entirely about: finding a person who wants to get slammed down, big style.

•One Of My Turns-

Possibly the darkest song on the album and one of the heaviest parts of the movie.

The Breakdown of Every Thing.

That said, "cold as a razor blade, tight as a tourniquet, dry as a funeral drum" would be a good description of me from like ages 15-27.

...Thank the gods for LSD. Ego death fixed a lot of that shit.

•Don't Leave Me Now-

Correction: THIS is the darkest song on the album.

A droning meditation on all the various forms of partner abuse.

•Another Brick In The Wall, Pt. 3-

And this is the song that turns the miserable sophomore-year loser into a teenaged curmudgeon. "I don't need any of you, I'll be just fine on my own."

•Goodbye Cruel World-

It's pretty obviously about suicide, but I always thought this would be a great closing song for a live show.

"Yeah this is it, this is all you're getting. You can't change my mind. Goodbye."

•Hey You-

Ah, good day, "Sir Not Appearing In This Film". How are you?

I've heard a few reasons from different people as to why this was cut from the movie, from simply "cut for time" to "the actual film got fucked up during recording and was deemed unusable".

In the story, this is the initial realization of the Great Mistake of building the wall and shutting yourself off from reality and humanity.

In my life, it gave me one of the most impactful lines I've ever heard:

"Hey you,

Don't help them to bury the light.

Don't give in without a fight."

As well as a lovely metaphor for what right-wing talk-radio grifters and Fox News brainwashing did to everybody's parents:

"No matter how he tried, he could not break free, and The Worms ate into his brain."

•Is There Anybody Out There?-

One of my favorite songs on the album.

Short and sweet, if by 'sweet' you mean 'dangerously paranoid'.

Also, one of the only songs I ever learned how to play on guitar.

I classify this as the beginning of what I call the "tone poem section". The next few songs all bleed together into one full movement.

•Nobody Home-

The depression inherent to self-imposed loneliness sets in as self-reflection, self-adoration, and ultimately self-revulsion.

"I'm so smart, I can even figure out every single thing that I did to completely ruin my entire life, but i won't do that until the end of the album, on account of how smart I am."

•Vera-

The tone poem continues.

Also, I had no idea who Vera Lynn was for quite some time. So, no, I didn't remember her. 🤷

It's a devastatingly pretty song, though.

•Bring The Boys Back Home-

And the culmination of the tone poem portion of the album arrives.

There's not a lot to this one, tbh.

•Comfortably Numb-

It is amazing to me how much I related to this song, long before I ever did a single drug. And now, after having done quite a few drug, I'm not much of a depressants guy. (It's probably all the regular depression, why would I ever add more?)

Man, I was a pretty messed up kid, huh.

Such an incredible song, though. Perfect in every way. Beautiful guitar work, the drumming is impeccable, the bass is... present, and the vocals are stellar.

One of my favorites.

•The Show Must Go On-

I can sum this one up with the title of a cancelled douchebag Marilyn Manson song: "I don't like the drugs, but the drugs like me."

•In The Flesh-

The reprise of the opening track.

Problematic as hell, but that's the fucking point. This is a hyper-violent fascist rally dressed up like a concert, and Anyone Who Doesn't Fit In will be Taken Care Of.

•Run Like Hell-

Back when I was a kid, roughly a thousand years ago, there was a Chicago morning news show that used to use the beginning of this song as their show's intro, and that always struck me as Extremely Fucking Weird.

The concert/hyper-violent fascist rally spills into the streets. Nobody is safe. This is the point.

•Waiting For The Worms-

Fear and isolation lead to horrors beyond human comprehension.

An anthem for krystallnacht.

An anthem for the alt-right mass shooter.

Fortunately, you can theoretically get the worms out. Unfortunately, you will very likely have to crack open the skull in which they reside to do so.

•Stop-

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERE ARE CONSEQUENCES TO MY ACTIONS?!"

•The Trial-

The Big Come Down. Our protagonist realizes, way too late, that despite the many, many tribulations of his life, it is his reactions to those problems that ultimately the source of all of his problems.

Yeah, your teachers were shitty sociopaths, your mom was a domineering bitch, and your wife (rightly) got sick of all of your bullshit and left you.

Shutting yourself out and hiding yourself away doesn't fix a fucking thing, and only makes the Bad Things worse.

Shut the fuck up, Pink. You're not crazy, you're just a bigoted asshole. Tear the fucking wall down already.

•Outside The Wall-

In which our protagonist finally gets a fucking grip and stops being such a dick.

Or, an alternate reading is that Pink has killed himself, and everything from Goodbye Cruel World until this point has been a hallucination caused by his dying mind, and this is him receiving total consciousness at the moment of death.

OR it's simply saying "it's on you to open up a bit, because there are people who genuinely want to help you, but they'll only try for so long."

This is a great album, but you kinda need to see the movie to really get it, which is ironic because you also need to know the album pretty well to understand what the fuck is happening in the movie.

Favorite Track:

I am SO tempted to be a cheeky little shit and say "When The Tigers Broke Free", as that is an incredible song, but it's only in the film, not the studio album.

So I'll invert that and say Hey You, which is on the album, but not in the film.

Least Favorite Track:

Bring The Boys Back Home. It's the end of the slow self-reflection/self-destruction part of the story, there for the (incredibly depressing) vibes.

[dancing-to-architecture]

44 - Jack White - Blunderbuss (2012)

I'm gonna be real, I had no idea this album even existed until this came up. I liked the White Stripes back in the mid to late 00's, but never really followed much of Jack White's solo career.

He's a damn good guitarist, though, so I'm going in to this one with slightly raised expectations.

(I also had this written out like a week and a half ago and just totally spaced on actually posting it.)

•Missing Pieces-

ooh, that electric piano works really well with Jack's guitar tones in the intro, but the solo in the middle is a killer.

Weird lyrics at first, then it slowly starts to come together by the end with a great set of closing lines:

"Sometimes someone controls everything about you

And then they tell you that they just can't live without you

They ain't lyin', they'll take pieces of you

And they'll stand above you and walk away

That's right, and take a part of you with them."

And whomst among us hasn't felt exactly that way some point?

•Sixteen Saltines-

Heavy fuzzy riffs, which is kinda what I expect from Jack White.

The name of the song is extremely weird considering it's a throwaway line, but I guess just calling it "who's jealous (of who?)" might be a bit on the nose.

•Freedom at 21-

I'm giving the text on this a small bit of a pass here because this came out a WHILE before the Me Too movement, but it feels pretty 'Men's Rights'-y imo.

"She can do whatever to me and she'll be fine because she's the woman and the man is always blamed for things" feels pretty goddamned cringey in 2023.

•Love Interruption-

This is the most "Divorced Guy" song I've ever heard in my entire life.

I will not elaborate further.

•Blunderbuss-

"A romantic bust, a blunder turned explosive blunderbuss" is some pretty fun wordplay, but as a self-diagnosed wife-guy, a few soulful minutes about the nobility of infidelity is not exactly my cup of piss.

•Hypocritical Kiss-

This song just makes me think about a number of people that I'd rather prefer stay locked away in the oubliette of my terrible memory.

•Weep Themselves to Sleep-

Okay, dude, you totally invalidated your entire premise set up by the first two lines in the second two lines.

"Nobody can do [x] like I can, except all these guys."

The instrumentation is really nice, the piano kills it, but the lyrics are... not great. 'Billy Corgan Poetic', by which I mean they're pretty, have an interesting metric foot, and they rhyme nicely, but are otherwise inscrutable.

Weird choice for the central song.

•I'm Shakin'-

Jack White sings the dirty blues.

...At least he's better at it than a good number of other white guys who have attempted it.

The idea of referring to the story of Samson and Delilah as "(she) clipped his wig" is just wild.

•Trash Tongue Talker-

"You broke your tongue talkin trash,

Now you're trying to bring your garbage to me." Damn, that's a good line.

One of the few songs about "get the hell out of my life" that you could throw on at a party and not immediately kill the vibe.

•Hip (Eponymous) Poor Boy-

This feels like a band i grew up listening to. Wanna say Little Feat or something like that. It's...alright.

•I Guess I Should Go To Sleep-

Okay, I have a bit of a weakness for 3/4 time.

I also have the occasional fight with insomnia (and lemme tell ya, my insomnia's got HANDS), so yeah, this one hits home.

Also a fairly tidy analogy for death closing out the tab on a hard life. Not entirely sure if that was the intention, but it works.

•On And On And On-

I absolutely love the flow of this one. It's not exactly a fast song, but it keeps moving with the steady power of a river.

I actually had to relisten to it, as I got caught up in the movement and the meter of the lyrics and started spacing out and just vibing.

•Take Me With You When You Go-

The drums are straight out of Manic Depression. I'd know that goddamn drum fill *anywhere*.

I like the fiddle, it almost feels like it shouldn't work, but it really does.

Okay I wasn't expecting the intro to be "the first entire half of the song" but it kicks into 5th gear at the halfway mark and just Goes.

About what I expected going in, to be real. Some great guitar work, some weird but fun lyrics (more often than not).

I'm not sure when he and Meg had their big bad falling out back in the day, but the general sense of "being kinda angry at women" vibe on a few of the songs here definitely bring that whole debacle to mind.

Favorite Track: On And On And On. It's just a whole ass vibe.

Least Favorite Track: tie between Weep Themselves to Sleep and Hypocritical Kiss, but Blunderbuss would be up here too if the wordplay wasn't so good.

There's a lot of very divorce-coded "angry white guy" on this album, and that's just not hitting me.

[dancing-to-architecture]

43 - Genesis - Selling England By The Pound

Sing it with me now, you all know the words: "This is another album I've never heard, from a band I'm otherwise quite familiar with."

Oh good... 8 songs on a 53 minute long album. I'm getting a vision of a double record with 2 whole songs per album side.

•Dancing With The Moonlit Knight-

Oh wait, shit, I think I put on King Crimson again.. nope, no, my bad. This is Genesis, I guess.

Are you sure? Cause this REALLY feels like King Crimson. Or maybe Emerson, Lake, and Palmer?

Either way, I'm really digging it. I only knew Genesis as way more pop and way less prog.

Legitimately had no idea these guys had this kind of stuff in their catalog.

I mean, Peter Gabriel, sure, but Phil Collins? No way.

•I Know What I Like (In Your Wardrobe)-

This feels VERY Peter Gabriel solo album, instrumentation-wise. He's always using the percussion instrument that I can never identify that goes "poing" in a low tone.

Lyrics feel very Phil. I really hate the title of this song. At best, they're sharing clothing, which is cool and good. At worst, it's Depeche Mode's Blue Dress but far creepier.

•Firth of Fifth-

Is this going to be about the bridge? No that was the firth of *forth*. Ah, so it's a pun.

Crazy math rock piano intro.

If this is a King Crimson album, this song is Moonchild. Slow, overly long, with weird, obtuse purple prose lyrics and a soft flute section for no good goddamn reason.

I do like the guitar work around 6:30 to the 7:30-8 minute mark, but again it feels Crimson-esque. Maybe not IN or OF the Court of the Crimson King itself, exactly, but certainly of a nearby duchy.

•More Fool Me-

This is just a tone poem.

It's pretty enough, but damn if this 3 minute long song feels longer than the previous 9 minute long song.

•The Battle of Epping Forest-

Perfectly normal to have old-timey wild west saloon piano plunking right next to spacey-ass synths in your interminable prog epic about a gang war.

Phil, bby, what is you doing.

(A note: ELP did this whole idea better with Benny the Bouncer, in the same year, in a song that's *10 full minutes* shorter.)

•After the Ordeal-

A pretty instrumental, which is quite the relief after 12+ minutes of semi-obscure early 70s British references I don't have any frame of reference for.

•The Cinema Show-

Another slow, long intro. I'm already not feeling this one.

Let's bring up Romeo and Juliet and then go nowhere with that. That's what they call "good writing".

Okay, the end gets really cool and synthy and almost sinister, and I'm enjoying it. Just a shame it took us 8 ½ minutes to get there.

•Aisle of Plenty-

Well, it's a song built entirely around a "Tesco" pun. Woof. At least it's not very long.

Yeah, I can see why Genesis went pop.

If you want a good British progressive rock album from 1973, just listen to Emerson, Lake, and Palmer's album "Brain Salad Surgery".

Everything here is done better there, including: "random old timey piano", "Very British Subject Matter", and "more than two incredibly long songs on a <10 track album", except all of ELP's songs absolutely fuck, the music is complex but actually interesting to listen to, and the cover art is by H.R. Giger.

I'll say it: the first 3 minutes of Toccata is superior to any section of this entire album, change my mind.

In fact, hell with it. This one's over, I'm putting Brain Salad on right now.

Favorite Track: After the Ordeal.

Yeah yeah, take a shot, 'cause Craig likes the instrumental the best. Who'd have figured. No disrespect to Mr Collins, but the man desperately needed an editor on this album.

Least Favorite Track: The Cinema Slow. I mean Show. (No, I lied, I really mean slow.)

To use a cinematic reference, Tarkovsky's Stalker feels fast-paced in comparison.

In The Air Tonight, this ain't.

[dancing-to-architecture]

42 - Bad Company - Bad Company

Ah, the band Bad Company's debut album "Bad Company", featuring the song Bad Company, which is possibly the only song i know by Bad Company, the Southern American-style blues-rock band from... Surrey? I mean, I guess that's also kinda southern, for England.

Oh wait, no, I also know "Feel Like Making Love", which is... not on this album.

This might be a slog.

•Can't Get Enough-

Oh, I know this one, too. It's... alright.

Repetitive chorus (i guess nothing rhymes with love?), and like half the lyrics feel like filler words thrown in.

Big "first draft" energy, tbh.

Depeche Mode has the far superior song about "not being able to get enough".

•Rock Steady-

This feels like it could be a ZZ Top song, tbh. Has that "southern blues-rock" vibe to it, which is kinda weird when it comes out of England.

Only problem I have with it is the "turn on your light" just makes me think of Roxanne. You don't need to turn on that light, red or otherwise.

•Ready for Love-

I can't place it, but bits and pieces of this song really remind me of another song. A better one. That's gonna bug me.

More weak rhymes and another extremely repetitive chorus.

Nothing Rhymes With The Word 'Love'!

It's Quickly Becoming A Serious Issue!

•Don't Let Me Down-

"Hey guys, so, if I put the word 'love' in the MIDDLE of the verse, I don't have to try to find a rhyme for this clearly unrhymeable word! Also down and found and ground all rhyme! Who knew?"

•Bad Company-

Bad Company by Bad Company from Bad Company! This Company is Not Good!

It also has guns! Six guns! Those are Bad Guns for Bad Company.

(turns out I actually kinda hate this song.)

•The Way I Choose-

Fairly low effort rock ballad. Helped (but not saved) by the organ and the horn section. Pretty forgettable.

•Movin' On-

Lmao, this is literally Can't Get Enough again. They're blatantly recycling a whole other song and just changing the lyrics., which is cool when The Ramones do it, but it's just sad here.

Fuck, even the guitar solo sounds the same.

"You can copy off me, just don't make it obvious." Turns out the same guy wrote both song. (That's not a typo.)

• Seagull-

I was not expecting a song about a seagull to be one of the better songs here. It's pretty, the lyrics are good, the instrumentation sounds nice together, it's possibly the least creatively bankrupt thing I've heard in the last 36 minutes.

One small note, though: who the fuck is shooting seagulls down?

Yeah, this one was a slog, but it could have been worse: it could have been longer.

I really can't believe these guys were signed by Led Zeppelin's label, and were classified as a *supergroup".

That's like calling the buildup of snow and slush and frozen dogshit that accrues behind a car's tires during the winter a "super-icicle".

Favorite Track: Seagull.

I wasn't expecting this, but it's actually a pretty decent song, if you ignore the lines about people murdering the gulls without reason.

Least Favorite Track: Movin' On.

I can imagine people hearing the first single off this album and getting kinda hyped, then the second single drops and IT'S THE SAME FUCKING SONG AGAIN. They all sound the goddamn same, except the one about waterfowl.

I hereby bestow the "Nickelback of the 70's" award to Bad Company.

[dancing-to-architecture]

41 - Otis Redding - Otis Blue

Welp, all I know of Otis Redding is "(Sitting On) The Dock of the Bay" and that he wrote Respect before Aretha covered it and effectively made it hers.

Wikipedia says this is (paraphrased) mostly a cover album. Otherwise, I'm going in blind on this one.

•Ole Man Trouble-

It's ostensibly a blues album, and this is an amazing first track; a blues song about getting stuck in the dumps again and again and again. Fuck Ole Man Trouble.

All my homies hate Ole Man Trouble.

Those horns are hot, though! Hoping for a lot more of that coming up.

•Respect-

Okay, I was expecting this, but this version is just WEIRD. The pieces are there, but it's subtly wrong. Lukewarm take: Aretha did it WAY better. This song works so much better as a feminist anthem than it does like this, it's very 'better have my dinner ready when I walk in the door'.

•A Change Is Gonna Come-

Hearing this man's beaten-down and bedraggled optimism about how things have to get better for the black community despite living though a particularly dark part of America's history gave me a bit of hope that, yeah, things have got to get better.

Then, I think about my racist, fascist governor and I can't stop myself from thinking: "well, not fuckin yet, I guess."

Then, I lose myself in thinking about pushing Ronathan Desantis into the industrial crushing machine from the end of 30 Days of Night, and I get just a bit happier.

It's legitimately soul-destroying to think that it's been so long since this song was written and we've gotten to "no no, you see, slavery was good actually because it taught them valuable skills!" and that kinda makes me want to slit my fucking wrists

This country sucks shit.

•Down in the Valley-

As if he knew the last song was gonna be A Bummer, this one is basically "oh yeah, shit SUCKS, but those motherfuckers can't stop us from dancing, even if it's just to spite them."

That said, I really like it. A breath of fresh air.

•I've Been Loving You Too Long-

My man, she's gone. She's checked the fuck out.

She wants out, you said as much. Let her go.

I get that you feel like you can't let go, but you're being the Crab in the goddamn Bucket right now.

(For real, it sucks to be in a one-sided relationship but let them go if they want to leave, and you'll both be happier eventually for it.)

•Shake-

This song has some SERIOUS energy to it. Funky as hell, and the horns are working overtime. If this doesn't make you want to move, you're broken.

I bet this one was a killer at a live set.

•My Girl-

I was initially going to say that this sounds wrong without the Temptation's back-up singers, but the horns actually work pretty well in their place.

Also, god DAMN, the man could sing.

A beautiful cover. I almost like it more than the original, tbh.

•Wonderful World-

Was expecting trees of green and red roses, too, aaaaaaaand now all I can think about is Animal House, a now deeply problematic fave from my younger years. (But still not nearly as problematic as Revenge of the Nerds.)

(For those who aren't familiar, this was a featured song in that film, iirc the last song of the movie that plays over the epilogues.)

I definitely relate to this song though, as I also don't remember much about the French i took, either.

Possibly the most upbeat song so far.

•Rock Me Baby-

2001. Junior year history class taught by one of my all-time favorite teachers: Mr. Bradish.

This song was the given example of how creative people could get around the strict censorship laws in the mid-century like the Hayes code.

"Well, we can't say 'i want you to screw me all night long', but these dipshit honky record executives don't exactly understand what we mean by the word 'rock', they're just snapping their fingers, so we're good."

I simply cannot divorce this song from that moment in time.

That said, A SERIOUS blues guitar solo, hot damn.

•(I Can't Get No) Satisfaction-

To be totally on the level, I was always more of a Beatles fan than a Stones fan.

That said, this cover FUCKING SLAPS!

In a perfect world, this song would be known as an Otis Redding song.

•You Don't Miss Your Water-

The inverse of I've Been Loving You Too Long, and the return of: "Aww, man I've been such a gigantic cheating prick it's been so great, wait, why is my girl leaving me? [Surprised_pikachu.jpg]"

I seriously CAN'T believe how common a subject that has been during this project.

Well, that was an interesting album, all in all. Otis Redding had one hell of a voice, and it's on full display here.

Definitely worth checking out, especially since it's a quick one at like 35 minutes long.

Favorite Track: (I Can't Get No) Satisfaction. It's amazing how much better this song can seem when it's not being sneered at you by a quasi-noncey British multi-millionaire. It comes off much less like the diatribe of a jaded douche when it comes from Otis.

Least Favorite Track: You Don't Miss Your Water.

Yeah, maybe I'm a dyed in the wool wife-guy, but I will never, ever be a fan of the nigh-omnipresent "I'm an asshole, I'm a cheater, wait a minute, why doesn't my partner like me anymore?" song.

[dancing-to-architecture]

I'M BACK? I'M BACK!

40 - Jimi Hendrix - Are You Experienced?

So happy to have an album that isn't going to be torture to get through. Almost every track on this album is on *at least* one playlist of mine.

Purple Haze-

An absolute monster opening riff leading into one of the better songs of all time.

So, i know i have Unusual Opinions regarding music and musicians, and one of my stronger ones that I have is that Jimi Hendrix was very likely bi.

"Hold on now!" come the cries of the boomers. "prove it! Prove that the always flamboyant, immaculate, WAY ahead of his time, extremely fashion-forward and highly passionate rock star who tragically died young might be bi!".

To which i say: "did you even hear a word of what you just said?" He straight-up says "excuse me while i kiss this guy" and the entire English-speaking world collectively went "no, no, that's not what he said, he said... Kiss... umm... the sky! Yeah, that totally makes sense!".

Except i used to have a live recording of this song where he very clearly said "while i kiss. that. guy." Keeping in mind that this was before Freddie Mercury or David Bowie could sit down for an interview and say something like "I'm openly bisexual, i fancy both men and women, to roughly the same degree." and the interviewer would then immediately say some dumb shit like :"yes, but why are you gay?"

In short: Jimi was bi, most music magazine interviewers are crap, they have been crap for a long time, bisexual erasure happens TODAY, so of course it would have happened 50 years ago, deal with it.

Manic Depression-

I absolutely love this song. Also, and more distressingly, I also absolutely relate to this song.

The solo is insane, the riff work is phenomenal, and the bass and drums are perfectly in the pocket. (Also, for what seems like a fairly simple drum beat, it's MUCH harder to keep that constantly-shifting time signature in your head than one would think.)

Hey Joe-

Is this the best song about "murdering your cheating spouse and then fleeing the country" ever written? I think so.

I mean, I'd put the Dixie Chicks' "Goodbye, Earl" up there, but I don't think she left her hometown after the murder.

At any rate, a psychotic psychedelic R&B classic.

Love or Confusion-

An anthem for all the autistic folks out there like myself who genuinely can't tell if a person is actively flirting with them or just being polite.

May This Be Love-

I will always be in favor of daydreaming like a lazy-minded fool.

Much more mellow than the earlier songs on the album have been, but Jimi still works in some outstanding guitar noodling.

I would bet money this song was an influence on Incubus's "Aqueous Transmission".

I Don't Live Today-

The biggest goddamn mood on the album, and how I feel almost every time I'm made aware of The News.

The Wind Cries Mary-

Another absolute classic song. Sad but beautiful.

Kurt Vonnegut's lament: "So it goes..." in song form.

When I was young, (for some reason) I thought he was referencing the Virgin Mary. Now, I think she might have just been more of "the one who got away".

Fire-

People of a certain generation and a specific level of culture will likely associate this song with Tia Carrera.

Either way, this song melts faces. The drummer is a goddamn maniac on this one.

Third Stone From The Sun-

I've never listened to this album on acid, but this song seems perfect for that exact mindset with the trippy, heavily-distorted vocals.

It kicks ass, though, don't get me wrong.

Foxey Lady-

People of a certain generation and a specific level of culture will likely associate this song with Dana Carvey wearing a flannel shirt tied around his waist.

(Look, if you haven't seen Wayne's World, you owe it to yourself to do so.)

Are You Experienced?-

The last line of this one (not necessarily stoned but beautiful) always made me figure that "being experienced" is a shibboleth for anything from "you smoke trees?" to "DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THE MACHINE ELVES?!"

and damn do I love the backwards drumming.

Stone Free-

Okay, Jimi, I'm pretty sure they DID realize they "were the ones who's square". That's why they would stare at your bizarre marching band leader outfits. (I'm absolutely Not knocking his bizarre marching band leader outfits, I honestly wish I had the panache to pull that kinda shit off.)

51st Anniversary-

Man, between Stone Free and this one right after, I'm guessing Jimi didn't think much of marriage, huh?

Idk, as a happily married man, this one just doesn't click with me.

Highway Chile-

This very easily could have been me after the army, if I had had a car that actually worked.

Can You See Me-

This one rings a bit hollow after all the earlier "yeah, baby, I'm out of here, see ya never, no strings on me" songs, just saying.

It rocks, nonetheless. Also maybe the only time "aww, shucks" had been uttered in a song that still goes this hard.

Remember-

See directly above, except the aww shucks part.

Red House-

And this one, right at the end, proves the hollowness of the last two broken hearted songs in my eyes.

"Girl left while I was gone? Welp. Fuck it, her sister was cute."

A monster of a blues track, regardless. One of my favorites, and that solo is INSANE.

Favorite Track: This is a tough one. A close race, but it's Purple Haze by a nose.

Least Favorite Track: Remember. It's barely about the girl in question! It's about the bird that won't sing and the dumped dude who won't eat because he has the sads.

Sorry about the long time since last time, full disclosure I got thoroughly addicted to a podcast called Kill James Bond, wherein three trans people discuss (and frequently skewer) the poster boy for toxic masculinity. It's fantastic.

[dancing-to-architecture]

39 - The Eagles - Hotel California (1976)

Ugh. No. I refuse. You can't fuckin' make me. Give me the screaming German chainsaw techno. Please!

I KNEW that Jeffrey Lebowski was My Guy as soon as he said the immortal line: "Come on, man. I had a rough night and I hate the fuckin' Eagles, man!"

Don't ask me why i hate the eagles. I know they're technically competent and all that, like they're good at what they do. I also have an irrational hatred of Josh Groban and he's technically competent as well.

I think it's a mix of being dramatically overplayed throughout my life and my just being wholly uninterested in any their work, or just a general dislike of most of the people who are vocal fans of the band.

Fuck it. Buy the hellticket, take the hellride.

•Hotel California-

Aww, fuck me, "she got the Mercedes bends" is actually a good turn of phrase. I never once caught it until I actually read it, though.

The line about "we haven't had that spirit here since 1969" only gets dumber and funnier the older this song gets. The dude orders "a wine" and it just blows this guy away!

So, uhh, the food? scares the shit out of the guy? They're all killer robots? But they just can't kill the beast? What the fuck is the end of this stupid fucking song even saying?

Fuck, i hate the Eagles and i hate this goddamn song.

•New Kid In Town-

This feels like 1976. Different singer? Feels a bit more folksy.

Oh boy i really hate this.

•Life In The Fast Lane-

One of the only Eagles songs that doesn't make me wish i was born deaf... might be because i honestly thought this was a Dire Straits song for like 20 years.

But, after reading all the creepy horny lyrics in the verses that i generally can tune out, i almost wish i was born deaf AND blind.

Might be because I've never been all that fond of cars, but why are there so many songs about wanting to fuck in cars?

•Wasted Time-

Breakup song. It's okay. I've heard better ones today, let alone throughout this project.

•Wasted Time-

(Me reviewing this album)

Yeah let's reprise the song we literally just finished, why not? And also give it the same title!

•Victim of Love-

"Clearly, everything is the woman's fault." 🙄

•Pretty Maids All in a Row-

Title sounds like the name of a porno. Interminably slow, with "I'm stoned and this feels deep" lyrics.

After listening to Leonard Cohen talk about similar themes this just feels even more trite.

•Try and Love Again-

It looks from the lyrics that he had a good thing going and went for something else and now he laments what he "lost" (walked away from). 🙄🙄

•The Last Resort-

Worthless hippies and their native cultural appropriation and inability to actually DO anything. Fucking Christian cults and their megachurches actively destroying this country in the name of God, then packaging and selling hope back to the dipshit faithful.

I honestly like what this song is saying, but i think I'd vastly prefer it packaged in a 2 ½ minute long aggressive punk song than some 8 minute grandiose soft rock epic.

Well, it's over, and i still hate the fuckin' Eagles. Next!

Favorite Track: i was initially thinking life in the fast lane but now i am going to say "the peaceful silence after the album was finished".

Least Favorite Track: E. All of the above.

[dancing-to-architecture]

38 - Leonard Cohen - You Want It Darker (2016)

I'm about to show my whole ass here and say the only song that i know by Leonard Cohen is Hallelujah, and that i know that every single Christian cover of that song either changes the words and/or misses the whole fucking point of the song.

Let's get right into it.

You Want It Darker-

Oh shit, that VOICE, THO. Tom Waits with a side of bourbon honey.

This sounds like a dirge for the world and I love it. Slow and tired and doomed.

Treaty-

One of the things I do know about Leonard Cohen was that he has a fairly fraught relationship with religion, and this song is definitely among that idiom.

This is an old man, talking to his apparently-absentee god, scared of all the zealots around him.

On the Level-

Looking back on the couldas and the shouldas, and wondering what could have been, still kinda glad that you didn't, but still also kinda wishing you did.

"i was fighting with temptation

but i didn't wanna win,

A man like me don't wanna see

temptation caving in".

Leaving the Table-

A recurring theme of "getting out of the game", but let's be real, at this point Cohen had been a recording artist for over half a century. The man knew that he couldn't have too much time left and was definitely making his peace with it.

Basically a country song, with a lovely twangy guitar solo, and you can really hear the years in his voice on the last line.

If I Didn't Have Your Love-

I know it's probably not gonna happen, but i really want to hear that soft, gentle pipe organ in the back just open up and let it rip.

Otherwise with the light piano as well, it's a nice, soft song about how bad it feels to not be with someone you love.

Traveling Light-

Another meditation on the end of a long life.

It Seemed The Better Way-

And another meditation on religion and its corruption, how the walk isn't really being walked anymore.

Steer Your Way-

I like the almost bluegrass vibe to this one.

String Reprise/Treaty-

A beautiful continuation of the earlier song, wrapping up the album.

So... yeah, "the last album he ever recorded" might not be the best introduction to the man, kinda feels like starting on Kurt Vonnegut with his last few books: you're mostly getting an old, angry, tired man, looking and thinking back on a long life and all the glories and stumbles and missteps that went along with it.

That said, he has quite the way with words, and I'll absolutely be delving further into his earlier catalogue.

Favorite Track: You Want It Darker is one hell of a song and a great choice for the title.

Least Favorite Track: probably Traveling Light, but they're all very sad and very pretty, and it hurts and it sucks to choose a "least favorite" on an album that's clearly a very personal end of life endeavor, especially when he passed less than a month after it was released.

[dancing-to-architecture]

37 - Muse - Black Holes and Revelations (2006)

As Mellon Collie was to high school, this album was to college/post-college. I have some pretty distinct mentors of driving around Bloomington-Normal with this album cranked.

Here's hoping it doesn't also emotionally devastate me!

Take a Bow-

i believe in every single word of this song, unironically.

Incredibly violent things need to happen to every single one of the terrible people in power.

Starlight-

I will never understand the fear some people have of alien life, and i can day with zero hesitation that if they offered me a way off this rock, i would take it.

Supermassive Black Hole-

(Because the girl he's talking about really, REALLY sucks.)

Fun fact: a girl i was seeing at the time wanted to sing this one with me at karaoke.

That relationship didn't work out for a wonderful and complicated variety of terrible reasons with a whole cast of characters at fault.

...I didn't see the irony in her song choice for quite some time.

Map of the Problematique-

"I can't get it right since i met you"

Yeah, i already talked about the bad relationship this album is associated with in my brain, let's not belabor the point.

Soldier's Poem-

(If it's not scrawled in Sharpie on a latrine wall, is it REALLY a "soldier's poem"? Just saying.)

So, this album came out in 2006. The US invasion of Iraq and Afghanistan ended with a spectacular plop in 2021, but even in 2006 anyone who was paying attention knew that we were just wasting lives, money, influence, and time on some horrible bullshit that George W only did to make his daddy smile.

I defy any soldier not to resonate with the lyrics, here.

"How could you send us so far away from home?

When you know damn well that this is wrong

-

There's no justice in this world

And there never was."

Invincible-

Please, please, let all of this radicalize you rather than lead you to despair. They may kill some of us, but they know that they can't kill all of us.

Question is: will you die on your feet, or on your knees?

Assassin-

Okay, see, i was worried about this album putting me down a bad mental rabbit hole regarding one of the worst breakups in my life, but I'm starting to think this album might actually be why I'm an anarchist.

I'm still eternally amazed that in a nation that has so many crazies and so many guns, we haven't had that many political assassinations, all things said and done.

I guess the right-wing psycho spree killers nowadays go after softer targets... like schools.

Exo-politics-

The recent drippings of military disclosure about UAP (unexplained aerial phenomena) still makes me feel like it's an op.

At the risk of sounding like a crazy myself, yeah, i would bet that there's stuff our government knows regarding alien life, but they have to sit on it because "releasing evidence that destroys the very concept of all organized human religions" might be a Bad Thing.

•City of Delusion-

"Destroy this city of delusion

And break these walls down

And i will avenge

And justify my reasons with your blood

You will not rest or settle for less

Until you guzzle and squander what's left

Do not deny

That you live and let die."

Eat. The. Rich.

•Hoodoo-

"I've had recurring nightmares that i was loved for who I am

And missed the opportunity to be a better man."

Yeah, i get that.

•Knights of Cydonia-

Honestly this one always just brings me back to one of the better party nights I can remember, me and a few buddies from college (two of whom are now openly living as trans women and ladies, i love you both and miss the hell out of ya) drinking and playing guitar hero 2 until we developed what we referred to as "the twisted claw" trying to get through this and Metallica's "One" on hard/expert.

Any other thing i might derive from this song is simply overwhelmed by that memory, though "Don't waste your time or time will waste you." is one hell of a great line and the video is incredible and should be watched.

•Glorious-

Wait, where did this come from? Knights was the last song on the album, wasn't it? Oh, it's on the Japanese release. Okay.

The guitar kicks ass on this one, the climbing chords just go on and on..

Has a big "there will be fighting, but i assure you, it will be worth it" vibe, but honestly i think Knights is the better album-closer.

Gotta say, it's pretty nice anticipating a swath of emotional trauma and instead ending this album fired up, ready to lace up my combat boots and kick the shit out of a fascist, while also pretty depressed that they called what's happening over fifteen years ago.

Favorite Track: Knights of Cydonia forever

Least Favorite Track: Supermassive Black Hole and all the bad feelings associated with it.

[dancing-to-architecture]

36 - Kate Bush - Hounds of Love

I guess we're running up that hill today.

So I stopped watching Stranger Things in season 2 (my wife really hated when Dart are the cat and i felt no real compulsion to continue), so i totally missed why this song got really big out of nowhere last year.

Never really got into Kate Bush. Let's see what I've been missing.

Running Up That Hill (A Deal With God)-

Okay i never knew that was the full title of the song, that rules. Also didn't think it was gonna kick the album off. ALSO didn't know it had over A BILLION PLAYS.

And since I'm sure the audio players don't/can't track each other's metrics, that's just on Spotify! Holy shit.

Love that synth string in the intro.

Her voice is so cool, and the things she's doing with the layering are amazing.

Okay, wait, is she implying that he is the one running up that hill? And that she wants to make a deal to be running up the hill instead?

Because let me tell you, I've run up some hills, and it's not as nice as she makes it sound.

Hounds of Love-

I like the inversion of the Hounds of War.

Feels like the other side of Florence + The Machine's "Howl", being hunted by the idea of love rather than being the one hunting for it.

I would be incomprehensibly surprised if Kate Bush wasn't a source of inspiration for Florence.

(Been listening to Gecs lately while driving, and at that last line, all i can think is "i might go and throw my shoes into the lake, yeah".)

The Big Sky-

I like this one, mostly because I'm always pointing out clouds that look like things.

(The other day, there was a cloud above my house that looked like two kidney beans doing it doggy-style.)

If this isn't the unofficial song of Montana, that state just isn't trying. (It's the "Big Sky state" iirc.)

Okay, the end of this one gets a little repetitive. Feels a little unnecessarily long.

Mother Stands For Comfort-

A love song from the point of view of Jason Voorhees (...or maybe Ed Gein?)

Dark and jagged and erratic and atmospheric, i really like the instrumentation throughout, it's kinda like if Richard D. James wrote an art-pop song.

I stand by my initial assessment. A beautiful serial killer song.

Cloudbusting-

"I still dream of Orgonon" Wait, the orgonne energy research laboratory?

Google check confirms.

Yeah, this is a song about cumming. Squirting, possibly? "you're making rain and you're just in reach".

Immediately wondering if this is the inspiration for the Bob's Burgers song "Oil Spill".

(Yeah it's... Not subtle.)

Oh, wait, no, i think it's actually about water breaking and childbirth. I think i prefer the incredibly powerful orgasm reading instead.

And Dream Of Sheep -

This could be on a "go to sleep" playlist. Very mellow.

I totally feel the light sleeper part, though. Never been good at sleeping, and the army made that way worse.

Under Ice-

I grew up near a river junction in Illinois. One of the first things you learn is "NEVER trust river ice".

And, not to be too blunt, but if you don't learn that from hearing it, you likely won't need to worry about learning much else.

Honestly, this one is a bit of a recurring nightmare, the idea of being trapped under ice is horrifying.

Waking The Witch-

Considering how the last song flows into this one, maybe it IS a nightmare.

Possibly just the sound of Catholic guilt?

This is a wild one. Lots of what feels like found footage audio.

Watching You Without Me-

Ocarina of Time's Goron City? That you?

Considering the sweep of the past few songs on the album, I'm guessing she didn't make it out from under the ice, it has the vibe of "ghost watching the living".

Oh, she straight up says that.

Oh damn! Inverse backmasking?

Record the melody backwards, while singing the words backwards, so it's still intelligible when played forward. I LOVE IT.

And the chopped up cries to be heard? Oh, this song rules. The vibe here is immaculate.

Kate, this one made me a convert. Masterfully executed auditory ghost story.

Jig Of Life-

The dead woman fights for her right to live? I'm hoping I'm reading this album right, because all of a sudden I'm thinking: "is this ALL one big story? Did i just get ’Hazards of Love'-ed here? What are the implications of that realization with the very clearly about a serial killer song in the middle there?"

Hello Earth-

A song for Doctor Manhattan? Idk. Also, not sure about this one within the "is it all connected?" framework.

Maybe the woman lost the fight for her life?

The return of "getting out of the water".

The German at the end translates to:

"deeper deeper

somewhere deep

is there a light".

The Morning Fog-

I guaran-goddamn-tee that someone somewhere had almost fallen asleep during last song only to get jump-scared to shit by the start of this one.

There's a certain amount of "through the underworld" to it.

Like being in a bad trip for a while and everything dissipates as the night fades away, and you just stand there in the growing light of the morning sun and finally feel refreshed and alive again.

You could tell me that this album was based on a Greek tragedy and i would believe you.

You could also tell me that this album was based on a really challenging acid trip and i would also believe you.

Either way, atmospheric as hell, beautiful and tragic and emotional. I really enjoyed this one.

Favorite Track: Watching You Without Me. I get why Running Up That Hill was the big single and this wasn't (it just couldn't be, it needs the buildup), but this one is the best track on the album.

Least Favorite Track: The Big Sky is slightly diminished in my eyes by that ending just going on forever, but this is a really good album overall.

[dancing-to-architecture]

35 - Elastica - Elastica (1995)

Never heard of them, but all their top songs are on this one album, so... Let's go.

Line Up-

Interesting, discordant guitar but I'm digging it... Except for the guy that sounds like he's puking in the background.

Pretty blatant "anti-groupie" lyrics but some interesting turns of phrase and i can absolutely see the line up in line line up in line part of the chorus getting stuck in heads.

Annie-

I'm digging this, kinda late-punk vibes, everything feels really good, just goes.

Connection-

This one has an order of magnitude more plays than anything else they have. (27 million vs the next highest being 6 mil)

Cool 90s edm noises and synth drums, then a computer has an orgasm and the band kicks in.

The lyrics are interesting but I'm not getting much out if it.

Starting to think I'll never really understand the kind of music British people enjoy.

Car Song-

Cool guitars but the lyrics land somewhere between "Tawny Kitaen" and "actively fucking a shift knob" level of car lover.

Catchy, though.

Smile-

The Ramones fan in me will always love a punk song started with a screamed "1,2,3,4!". ESPECIALLY if it's not screamed in the actual time of the song.

The lyrics listed are incredibly wrong, which is a shame because it's a song about a cheater getting busted. And it's pretty great.

Hold Me Now-

Sounds like Garbage (affectionate).

Tonal whiplash from the last song, from "you cheated, get lost" to "I'll do anybody/everybody at this party, i don't care"

S.O.F.T.-

I really like the intro.

The lyrics feel a bit too pointed to feel so vague, like I'm wondering if s.o.f.t. stands for like someone one of the band members knew named like Shirley Olive Frimbley-Twumpshire or something.

Indian Song-

(Okay, it's a British band, which "Indian" are we referring to... Ah, sitar. Okay.)

Ah, shit, did George Harrison write this one? Who let him in here?

Blue-

The almost shoegaze-y intro just makes me think they could have totally gone shoegaze and pulled it off.

The rest of it feels pretty similar.

All-Nighter-

"Yeah, sure let's hang out all night!"

Five hours later: "oh, so, we weren't gonna take our clothes... Oh. Okay. Gotcha. Your loss."

Waking Up-

As a dedicated night-person who nevertheless wakes up at 5am every morning, this song can kiss my ass, but also i wish i had that easy of a life.

2:1-

A bit slinkier and more laid back than a lot on this album. Kinda wondering why this one isn't the one that blew up.

The dual singing is pretty neat.

See That Animal-

Gotta get that scale practice in somehow.

Also, i cannot abide by the pronunciation of the word tattoo as "tuh-TOO". It's "TAH-tu".

Stutter-

Girl, why are you whining that he's not going to stay with you? You didn't have to let him in and fuck him, but you did. That's on you.

Never Here-

I do like the idea of fighting gaslighting with gaslighting. "You fucked with my head and now you don't even exist and you never did."

Vaseline-

I get it, but actual lube is always better.

Once again, a British album has one vastly more-played sing on the album and i cannot for the life of me figure out why. It didn't stand out in any way, and many of the other songs on the album are objectively better, catchier songs.

I can only assume UK radio is just as much of a wasteland as Florida's is.

Favorite Track: 2:1. It kinda grew on me as a standout from the raunch of the rest of the album, like a classy burlesque performance in a tacky strip club.

There's a difference between being sexy and just shoving a vagina in my face.

Least Favorite Track: Indian song. White British musicians stop appropriating India challenge (impossible).

[dancing-to-architecture]

34 - The Smashing Pumpkins - Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness

THE album that got me through high school.

No joke, there was a week in my life, i want to say Junior year, where i listened to the song "1979" *at least* a hundred times. I most certainly hung down with the freaks and ghouls.

Also, this is a Double Album, so buckle in, because this is gonna be a *long* one.

(editing afterwards: yeah, it took me over a week to get through. Who'd have figured this one would have some pretty heavy shit associated with it that would put me in a really bad headspace for a while?)

Actually cutting this one, because I'm not THAT much of an asshole.

[Dawn to Dusk]

•Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness-

Such a simple little piano piece, but so pretty, and then the other layers start coming in and it continues to ascend. Up there on my all-time favorite intro tracks list.

•Tonight, Tonight-

The song that made me want to be a drummer. Jimmy Chamberlain beats the shit out of his drum set all towards the end of this one, but in a way that almost feels...polite.

The violins and cello soar throughout the entirety, this song really wouldn't be as amazing without them.

Regardless of how you may feel about Billy Corgan's voice, if these lyrics don't resonate with you, then congratulations on being the happiest person to exist.

The longing, the wanting to be wanted, the dread of the possibility of misplaced hope, the terror that these might be the best days of your life, but you won't notice until much, much later...

Now, if only we could get on with that "crucifying the insincere" business.

•Jellybelly-

This riff is a fucking killer.

I've always associated this one with optimistic nihilism. Everything's fucked, we're trapped in the belly of the beast, there's no way out, but there's nothing stopping us from doing whatever we want *because* nothing matters.

•Zero-

The bass line to end all bass lines.

More nihilism, but much less optimistic this time. More of a "she's here and she makes me happy and that's literally the only thing in the world that matters at this point" vibe.

•Here Is No Why-

The malaise of the star. Rich and famous and a household name and utterly, utterly depressed. I might be*the only one* who thinks this, but i kinda always saw this song as a kind of weird goodbye ode to Kurt Cobain, who's basically the poster boy for 'rock stars who never, ever wanted to actually be famous'.

•Bullet With Butterfly Wings-

Show me a better opening line than "The world is a vampire, sent to drain."

I used to like this song a lot more as a teenager than i do nowadays, likely because at this point it feels like: "what are you rebelling against?" "What do you got?!"

Just lashing out at anyone and anything, but ultimately it really doesn't matter and was a waste of time, effort, and anger. You're still just a rat in a cage.

•To Forgive-

A lot more chill musically after Bullet, but the lyrics are way harsher, talking about loss and pain and childhood trauma.

"I sensed my loss, before i even learned to talk.

And i remember my birthdays,

Empty party afternoons won't come back."

We moved *a lot* when i was a kid (5 schools in 6 years), so i was always the New Kid, Weird Kid, don't talk to him, we don't know him, shun him and maybe he'll leave.

This one always hit me hard.

•Fuck You (An Ode To No One)-

Back to the heavy riffs, back to angry Billy.

The constant New Kid finally hits high school and hasn't moved again, and he hates everybody because everybody hated him for years, but he hates himself the most because he simply cannot leave.

"Destroy the mind, destroy the body, but you cannot destroy the heart.

I don't need your love to disconnect."

•Love-

Fun fact: the guitar is so fuzzy and distorted that the first time i heard this song i thought my headphones had just broken.

Possibly Billy at his most nasal.

Last song i screamed that i didn't *need* your love, but that doesn't mean that i don't *want* it.

The heavily distorted guitar tones sound great throughout the song, but the solo rules.

•Cupid de Locke-

When i say "i love strings in rock music", I'm typically referring to the violin or the cello, (or the double bass if you're TRULY nasty), but i have to say that the harp is a truly underrated instrument these days: incredibly pretty, but incredibly difficult to play well, and it's played so well here.

The lyrics kinda feel like Billy tried his hand at some Shakespeare, and it mostly works.

•Galapogos-

This one hits me a lot harder now than it did when I was a kid, but who could expect a fifteen year old to really get a line like: "and tell me, am i still the man I'm supposed to be?"

But now? That line really resonates with the layers of self-doubt and revulsion that i have utilized as armor for the last 20 or so years, not to mention the more modern confusion and realization regarding things like gender and sexuality.

"And should i fall from grace, here with you,

Will you leave me, too?"

•Muzzle-

And the first line of this one continues the feeling of inadequacy from the last song:

"I fear that i am ordinary, just like everyone."

Without trauma-dumping, lemme just say this one hits close to home.

"I know that i am meant for this world."

Another one where Jimmy is beating the absolute shit out of those drums.

The end of it just feels like the prettiest, nicest ego-annihilating trip ever, to be honest.

•Porcelina of the Vast Oceans-

This intro is so pretty, but it's also interminably slow.

This was honestly one i usually skipped back in the day.

Billy is just being really extra Billy through most of the verses, and though James, D'arcy and Jimmy go ham throughout at least half of the 9 whole damn minutes of it, it's not quite enough to save us from Billy's poetry.

(My phone autocorrected that last word to pussy and you will not BELIEVE the strength it took to fix it.)

And then, an equally long outro and we're almost *halfway* done!

•Take Me Down-

I was always in love with James Iha's voice.

A ver sweet little song, almost a lullaby. If you have never felt like this, i feel bad for you.

Man, i just don't like that last line though.

[Twilight to Starlight]

•Where Boys Fear To Tread-

I LOVE this whole intro. What a great way to start the second half of the album. Doom_barrel_explosion.wav usage and everything. WAKE THE FUCK BACK UP.

This one IS heavy enough to save us from Billy's poetry.

•Bodies-

•Thirty-Three-

One my favorite Smashing Pumpkins songs, though like The List, mutable positioning is always involved.

Certainly one of the prettiest, imo.

This one is really tied with 1979 for "lyrics that could be a chapter from my biography", just... Very different chapters.

•In The Arms Of Sleep-

No joke: the title is correct. This was on a sleep-themed mix CD i had back in the day, just to have music on but nothing that would be too jarring.

Which is really selling this one short, because it's mellow but gorgeous.

•1979-

A song i have literally done speeches about. One of my all-time favorite songs.

One of my favorite music videos. This song is "high school". It's "adolescence", in all of its ups and downs and confusion and depression and (possible, occasional) glory.

•Tales Of A Scorched Earth-

This might be one of the hardest intros on this whole damn album, possibly one of e heaviest songs overall.

Angry Billy at his best, imo. This song is so fucking mad at everyone.

•Thru The Eyes Of Ruby-

I always figured this was about commitment anxiety, especially with the lines with marriage symbolism.

Really cool instrumentation that gets harder as it goes.

•Stumbeline-

Funny thing, the last song was 7 minutes long, but this one FEELS 7 minutes long. Acoustic strumming and more of Billy's poetry. There are some good lines in this one, but a lot of not great ones. 🤷

•X.Y.U.-

Another rather heavy song with some pretty dark lyrics.

And i apologize for an earlier mistake, THIS is the heaviest song on this album.

I liked this one more when i was a kid, but that was also when i was really into nu-metal, so...

•We Only Come Out At Night-

So, i have spent quite a few years working in the arena of late-night pizza, as well as made attempts at being some kind of warrior/poet, and this song feels incredibly accurate to large parts of my life.

"It's goofy, but i love it anyway." -how i feel about this song, also, words my wife has likely said about me.

•Beautiful-

This sounds like the kind of song that might get accidentally played at a wedding because they only half-heard half of the lyrics and didn't realize it's about a stalker.

•Lily (My One And Only)-

One of the better-written songs about a Peeping Tom, in that by the time you realize what's actually going on in the song, it's already almost over.

•By Starlight-

I really like this one overall, but the dead eyes parts makes me think of Jaws. (Dead eyes, like a doll's eyes...)

Did...did Billy fall in love with a shark?

•Farewell and Goodnight-

Another almost lullaby song, and it's really nice and peaceful with the whooshing noises and hand drumming throughout.

More of James singing is always nice, and D'arcy has a pretty voice as well. Man, i forgot how much i liked this one, and the return of the leitmotif in the very first song is such a nice closing to the album, very circular.

Okay... this album has taken me DAYS to get through (thanks ADHD) and it's finally done. Now... to power through the backlog.

Okay, Spotify, this album is long enough already, do we really need the super hyper deluxe edition with 4 ½ extra *hours* of demos, other takes or arrangements?

Who wants this? How often is any of it actually listened to by humans? Why the fuck can't i just listen to the regular, no frills, no demos, standard-ass version of this album?

Gripes with corporations aside, this is on my top 20 all-time favorite albums list.

(Do not ask to see the list, manifesting the concrete existence of the list is like nailing down your shadow.)

For better or worse, this album had a hand in shaping my adolescence.

It's safe to say that i might have been a better person overall during my 20s had i never heard this album.

There are some songs on it that are very likely to be going through my head on my deathbed. I will carry this album with me for the rest of my life.

Which is why it is sucks that Billy Corgan is such an asshole! In this TED Talk i....

[dancing-to-architecture]

Apologies for taking so long to get some new reviews out. The one I'm currently on is taking me forever.

Who would have guessed that an album from my adolescence might have some pretty bad memories associated with it that makes listening to it difficult?

[dancing-to-architecture]

31 - The Stooges - Fun House (1970)

Damn, do i love that cover art.

Among the godfathers of punk rock, depending on who you ask. One of my favorite albums when i was in the military, which may shed some light into why i wasn't exactly the best-suited for being a soldier.

•Down on the Street-

Do i know what Iggy's saying here? No. Does it kick all kinds of ass anyway? Yes.

•Loose-

Drug muling? Pegging? Just drunk?

Idk. Just stick it deep inside, he's loose.

•T.V. Eye-

The scream intro gets me pumped EVERY. TIME.

This song is subtly dirty as all hell if you know what "t.v. eye" is shorthand for, and i love it for obscuring itself just a bit instead of being too obvious and ultimately gross, like some other songs i listened to today.

•Dirt-

The trip is starting to turn. Introspection begins looming up out of the haze. Self-reflection, like a fire, is just as capable of illuminating as it can be destructive.

This is the song that made me realize that i love this band.

•1970-

"Out of my mind on Saturday night" describes most of my 20s, but i feel alright.

The saxophone once again proves itself as the unsung hero of rock in the truly chaotic outro.

•Fun House-

Horny as hell, and I'm not talking about the trumpets.

But, it also has lines like "every little baby knows just what i mean/ Livin' in division is a shifting scene" which is true and raw as hell, but at the end of it, Iggy came to play.

•L.A. Blues-

Utter chaos.

The trip has gone fully sour, and your best friend is actually the Devil.

Screw the Doors, *THIS* is The End, not just of the album, but of an era.

Lashing out at the entire world for 5 straight minutes, a sonic "fuck you" to the misguided and ultimately worthless hippies of the 60s, and the movement that they went nowhere with.

One of my all-time favorite albums. Possibly one of the best rock albums of all time. If you haven't listened to it, do so.

Favorite Track: Dirt. It's long and dark and it's starting to get scary, but that's what makes it so damn good.

Least Favorite Track: N/A.

Every single song on this album whips ass. Granted there are only 7, but they're ALL good.

[dancing-to-architecture]

30 - David Bowie - Aladdin Sane (1973)

Bisexual icon. One of my musical heroes.

I'm so glad that the first Bowie album that came up on this was one i actually don't know very well.

One of the albums i never had (and my dad only ever had his 'best of' albums, the poser), but i always liked the aesthetic of this era of Bowie's career.

•Watch That Man-

I'm curious as to how someone "walks like a jerk".

•Aladdin Sane-

I wish Jim Morrison could have learned something from Bowie, namely "it doesn't *have" to rhyme, and forcing a rhyme where one isn't needed just sucks."

This song is piano chaos in the middle. Trying not to be biased here, because it's got some of the same random-ass stuff going on that i hated when The Doors did it. Maybe the fact that it's a real piano helps? Idk. This chaos sounds better than their chaos did.

•Drive-In Saturday-

"It's a crash course for the ravers" likely meant something different 50 years ago than the image it brings to mind now.

Regardless, this one's pretty and the sax is hot.

•Panic in Detroit-

Love this song. Not a happy song, but a really good one, especially since i tend to like a song that tells a story.

•Cracked Actor-

What is with all the songs with lines about blowjobs in the 70s? Had they just been recently invented or something? Everybody seems to have at least one song on an album "cleverly" alluding to getting sucked off.

•Time-

Okay, i can really resonate with lines like: "i look at my watch it says 9:25 and i think 'oh God, am i still alive?' and 'breaking up is hard, but keeping dark is hateful'.

Some occasionally sinister but powerful instrumentation throughout. Stellar guitar work. Outro goes on a bit though.

•The Prettiest Star-

Before this one started, i thought the astronomical body. Thirty seconds in i realized he's talking about a movie star. Kinda doo-woppy, and a little slow, but interesting enough too not feel boring.

•Let's Spend the Night Together-

"Out of my head and my mouths getting dry, I'm h-h-h-high" shit, man, me too.

Simple chorus but catchy enough that that just makes it easy to sing along with, imo. The brief breakdown at the end is great.

•The Jean Genie-

One of my favorites when i was a kid. Still one of my favorites now. Weird as hell, but i just love it.

•Lady Grinning Soul-

When Jim Morrison sang about a woman, it feels lascivious. But when Bowie did, it feels almost like a worship song.

I'm saying: I doubt Morrison ate pussy, but i'd bet money that Bowie did.

Otherwise, this song feels like it's about one of my favorite genres of woman: the kind who would just as quickly kiss you as she would stab you in the neck (E.g. Natalie Dormer 😍).

Favorite Track: The Jean Genie.

Least Favorite Track: Cracked Actor. Blowjobs are great and fun, but I'm already getting so tired of all of the songs about them.

[dancing-to-architecture]

29 - The Doors - L.A. Woman (1971)

Not even a full month in and we've got a band repetition, and it's a band i didn't like before, so...

Wait, actually, i kinda like two of the songs on this album. Fingers crossed.

•The Changeling-

The keyboard is back and they have it set to something other than "clown rock"! In fact, it actually kinda kicks some ass here.

Jim's kinda singing like Tom Waits on this one.

"But I've never been so broke i couldn't leave town." So... Not broke, then? Or maybe moving didn't cost so goddamn much back in the day?

All in all, meh.

•Love Her Madly-

The anthem of the Wife Guy, and one of the few Doors songs i genuinely liked before this musical odyssey.

And you bet i love her when she's walking out the door, because when that happens, i often get to see a nice booty as she goes.

Also, I'm fairly certain that she's gonna walk *back in* the door again, because that's generally how doors (and healthy relationships) work.

•Been down so Long-

TOM WAITS RETURNS! to sing about how he should be released from prison so he can go and get his dick sucked.

Honestly had me in the first half, but then the second half starts and I've begun rolling my eyes so hard that i can check out *my own* ass at this point.

•Cars Hiss by My Window-

I like the first lines. Very evocative.

Then the next lines instantly reminds me *why* Jim was so worried about women walking out on him.

Why was it so hard to just... *not* fuck everyone around you at all times, man?

I feel like if Jim Morrison ever did even one second's worth of introspection, he'd have written a song called "I'm the cause of all of my problems".

Shame he died not long after this album released and never got the chance.

•L.A. Woman-

This song is legitimately really good. Everybody's nicely working together musically, the lyrics are not immediately problematic as hell, and even the needless Mr Mojo Rising bridge can't bring it down.

A bit long but it's The Doors, so i was expecting that, and at least this one keeps it moving and doesn't drag on for two full minutes of random noises like The End did.

•L'America-

Cool guitar work in the intro. With the keys coming in, it sounds nice and creepy. Sinister.

Garbage lyrics, though i like the misdirection in the middle.

Okay wait, what the fuck is the tone of this song supposed to be? It's all over the place.

•Hyacinth House-

"I need new friends!" No, you need *better* friends.

•Crawling King Snake-

Kinda bluesy, but there's a heavy vibe of: "The snake is my dick, get it? Do you get it? DO YOU GET IT?!

PLEASE UNDERSTAND THAT THE SNAKE IS REFERRING TO MY HOG. I NEED YOU TO UNDERSTAND THIS."

•The Wasp (Texas Radio and the Big Beat)

I don't care if it was '71, by then you should have known that "negroes" isn't fuckin cool to say.

It's even less cool to a modern ear, and everything else is mostly rambly talk-singing trying to sound clever.

•Riders on the Storm-

I love *the music* in this song, and the storm noises throughout are a great touch.

But, as usual for Morrison, the lyrics are the kind of quasi-insightful, rhyming dictionary-ass nonsense that only feel deep if you're so baked that "getting off of a couch" is a Sisyphean task.

Overall, i liked it better than the debut, but that isn't saying much. Still not a Doors fan.

Favorite Track: Love Her Madly. It just makes me think of my wife, because it me for real for real.

Least Favorite Track: a tie between The Wasp and Crawling King Snake.

Casual racism vs "4 more minutes about Jim's dick". Both lose.

[dancing-to-architecture]

27 - Air - Moon Safari (1998)

Okay, I'm pretty sure this band is French, since it says "French band" right on the album.

I know *of* Air, and i know a few people from college who will be mad when i say that I've never intentionally listened to this band. Might have heard a song or two out in the world, but I've never said or thought: "i think i'm gonna listen to Air today".

•La femme d'argent-

[Silver Woman]

Okay after Guided By Voices rapid-fire bullshit, I'm fine with an album opening with a 7 minute long song.

Funky fuckin bass (that you can actually HEAR! [surprised_pikachu.jpg]) Some really slick keyboard work here.

I enjoyed the first two minutes of instrumental here more than the entirety of what i heard of the last album.

Kinda spacy, *very*lush, very atmospheric.

~5 minutes in: okay I've decided that i want to listen to this album while on acid at some point in time.

•Sexy Boy-

Oh shit, I know this intro from somewhere. (Hears the lyrics kick in) definitely a few movies have used this one, and i feel pretty confident that other bands have used it as a sample as well. Maybe Girl Talk?

Regardless, i definitely know this one.

Sadly, my knowledge of French has severely diminished in the... oh shit, 25 years since i last spoke it with any kind of regularity, so i can't really comment on any French lyrical content, but this song doesn't just fuck, it *seduces* first.

•All I Need-

Ooh, Beth Hirsch has a pretty voice. This is a song to get naked to. Very sensual, very smooth instrumentation.

•Kelly Watch the Stars-

Typically, I'm not fond of songs that just repeat one line over and over and over but sometimes they just work, e.g. Daft Punk's "Around the World", where the lyrics basically become another part of the instrumentation.

This one works as well.

•Talisman-

Another instrumental. Pretty chilled out, but the steady drumming keeps it from plodding.

If you told me this song was in a spy movie, I'd easily believe you.

•Remember-

Have to make another Daft Punk reference, because "two French guys singing in autotuned English". I'm certain they caught more than a few comparisons to The Robots throughout the years.

Short and sweet, based on the limited French i can remember.

•You Make It Easy-

More Beth Hirsch? Yes, please, don't mind if I do.

Oh, this is a genuinely beautiful song. If i had known about this one at the time, it definitely would have played at my wedding reception.

•Ce matin-la-

[This morning]

Another pretty instrumental. I love the trumpets: jubilant but not overpowering.

Damn, this is a pretty song. Pleasant, with a bit of a funky vibe. Reminds me of another French band, Stereolab.

This is a pretty album.

•New Star in the Sky-

Okay, is that an *electric HARMONICA*!?

Pretty and spacy, but the repeated lyrics don't work as well as on Kelly.. starts to feel a little slow by the end.

•La Voyage de Pénélope-

Ending on another instrumental, with a decidedly Pink Floyd-ian feel to it.

Le voyage de Pénélope est clairement dans l'espace lointain...

Well, that was an album I'm mad at myself for sleeping on for so long.

I'm actually happy with my laziness for once because due to having to play catch-up, i got to hear all of this beauty after hearing about 16 minutes of Guided by Voices.

Favorite Track: Sexy Boy, hands down.

Least Favorite Track: New Star in the Sky is likely the only song I'd want to skip on further listening, so that's it.