My Untitled Life

Blog is dead and is only remaining so that I can cringe at it in the nursing home.

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My friends, lovers and family: You’re so hard to shop for. I have no idea what to get you.

(Meanwhile…)

My kitchen and bathroom:

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Pride themed Slyveon coloring pages. Happy Pride y’all!

[salmonsammun]

Happy Pride! Love these woke dogs. ❤

Had some fun coloring them, and it felt fitting to finally be putting something out for Pride Month.

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It looks so pretty! I’m so happy when people color my coloring pages. Happy Dance!

🕺 💃 🪩

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Pride themed Slyveon coloring pages. Happy Pride y’all!

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You’re going to need a crowbar to pry Akram from my favorite characters list. He went in when the cement was still wet.

[canisalbus]

✦ Cinderella ✦

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I think it’s hysterically hilarious that even as a princess Machete has his red soles. Little guy has his priorities. Lmao

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SePArate ArT FrOM thE ArTist

Broke

Why is this art being promoted to me in the first place?

Woke

All art is propaganda. Particularly the art that is being preserved, promoted and exalted by large institutions and multi-million dollar media companies.

There is a reason that Picasso and Salvador Dali are household names despite being generally shitty to everyone around them (particularly the women) and that reason is that something about those men, their lives and their creative choices speaks to people with the power and influence to promote them after their death. Yes both of those men were talented and groundbreaking at what they did but not any more talented or groundbreaking than the thousands of artist working during their time that you don’t know about.

Why is Harry Potter the magical franchise that made it into the public consciousness? Is it because it THAT good or is it because someone in power wanted you to feel that way?

Why doesn’t Artemis Fowl have a theme park? Equally best selling books from the same time period, equally rich world building about a magic society with a cool protagonist with a strong female character, also made into a movie and comic book. It’s author Eion Colfer is a multi-time best seller. Dude cranks out hits.

And yet his series got stripped from Disney+. His books long forgotten.

Is it maybe because Eion Colfer is vocal about the migrant crisis and treating immigrants with humanity? Is it maybe because he’s part of the Irish Labour Party?

Why is it that between two best selling cultural phenomena series from the early 2000s the only one that still in the public consciousness is the one by the Terf?

I don’t think that is a coincidence.

I think the reason we’re being asked to keep looking at the JK Rowlings and the Neil Gaimans of the world is that someone in power wants those artist to retain influence.

Why do they want that? I have some theories and they’re not flattering.

Think about where art is coming from when you consume it. Particularly commercial media with money behind it. That matters more than whether you can tolerate how much of a dick some artist is. Their jack-assery is a smoke screen and there’s a billionaire behind it.

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First Day of MerMay!

The story for this piece is that in the near future merfolk reveal themselves after climate change wrecks havoc on much of their territory. Some more enterprising merfolk rent themselves to the highest bidder either as test subjects or decoration for the super wealthy in exchange for accommodation on land. This particular merman is living at a research facility and enjoys toying with one of the graduate students who interns there. Mostly by stealing her stuff when she’s not looking like her favorite shawl.

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The one that started it all. Every May I add to these guys a little more.

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I didn’t do much Mermay this year but I did add to my growing collection of illustrations featuring my fantasy zoologists intern and her merman frenemie. In this illustration he discovers her after she’s been rejected by the unicorn residency she had her heart set on. He may tease her but he cares about her more than he’ll ever admit.

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More mer lore

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Didn’t forget it was MerMay. I’m just a tired adult now. Ready for some fun facts about Maximilian my merdude?

- his hair is actually part kelp. There’s a merfolk specific species called Sea Tresses that lives in symbiosis. They benefit from the mer-migration for sporing and the merfolk benefit by having an emergency source of food. Hair horticulture is a big time hobby amongst the nobility.

- yes he has a mer-crotch and wears mer-briefs. I liked the anatomical design from A Centaur’s Life. It makes the most sense to me.

- He lives at the research facility as punishment for staging a coup against the Atlantic Mer-King. He used to be a noble. He has a life sentence. He was very depressed about it until he met Becca the intern. He’s very insecure about being in mer-jail so he’s snooty towards the common folk that rent themselves to the facility. Due to this the other mermaids hate him and they had to get him his own tank.

Hope you enjoyed my silly world building.

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Reblogging my mer-lore so I can make some art of my boi this month.

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Sorry but I need to rant as an artist with a degree who is a professionally published illustrator.

This tracing is immoral and anyone who does it is evil and must be crucified bullshit is asinine and if you bully people, particularly young people, for tracing and sharing the result online you’re a shit person who hates human art. I said what I said and I’m going to salty Ted Talk about it.

How the F*** do you think people learn art?

You think they pop fully formed from a pile of eraser dust like a graphite Aphrodite?

Drawing is a fine motor skill. Painting is a fine motor skill. Using a tablet and stylus is a fine motor skill. You have to practice. A LOT.

You know how they had me practice in fancy art school I took out a loan for?

They made me TRACE SHIT. A full museum assortment of different artists and styles. Over and over and I had to publicly display the wobbly copies for critical assessments of my motor skills by my peers.

God forbid someone doesn’t want to pay 50K+ to do that. God forbid someone wants to use your scene kid furry wolf PNG or chibi slash yaoi fan art JPEG of Goku and Gojo instead of an Alphonse Mucha poster or a Da Vinci sketch.

God forbid they love your art enough to use it to practice a skill they love.

You want to know why AI art is a thing? Because shitty people like you want “perfect” results now without giving space for the obnoxiously cringe bedrock that creates human originality and beauty.

I’m sorry. You have to bad trace Disney Fairies and Twilight Sparkle into emo ocs first before you can get good. You have to use a base to draw Naruto and Sasuke making out. That is how you learn the skills without going into crippling financial debt.

Back off and let these kids trace. Let them figure things out and get their shit together without killing art for them.

If you want them to link your art page as the source material fine. That’s fair. But brutally waging a crusade of cyberbullying targeting a tween because they made a bad OC using your work and forgot to ask? Nah dog art jail. Screw you.

You have to give space for people to be mediocre at things. You have to allow your work to be an inspiration to that mediocrity. That is your sacred duty as an artist. We don’t crush the artist spirit.

[cryptixotic]

Day 20 : Stripes & flytraps

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Ahhhhhh beautiful art of my favorite animal!

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Just a reminder that it’s the last two weeks of the month and the people who profit off the engagement of your outrage want you to be upset about everything because it pays their bills that are due soon. Don’t subsidize their greed and callousness with your anguish. Channel your passion into action instead of speech. They’ve had all month to tell you about the thing and they waited and did nothing on purpose. They don’t want to raise awareness. They want to raise money.

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Liberal honey? Oh no sweet cheeks see I’m the conservative now. At least according to the dictionary.

A conservative wants to conserve things. You know like the civil rights I had in kindergarten? The autonomy over my body and personal life I used to have? The public spaces and resources I’ve enjoyed for several decades? Labor rights that have been a thing since before the Civil Rights movement? The values of a nation as described in a pledge I said 15,000 times over my childhood? Yeah I want to keep that shit. Conserve it if you will.

You want to fiddle fart around in the middle east and waste tax dollars on AI. You want to gorge yourself on buttered lobster while you glut down radical ideology and destroy hundreds of years of work. That’s not conservative darling. That’s just some bullshit. At least according to Webster.

[feldfrog]

If a fantasy world has an ancient tree of wisdom, that means it must also have young trees that are dumb as shit. Just giving terrible advice like, "the evil wizard is kinda hot"'

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They don’t give terrible advice per-say. The saplings just point out simple truths. That evil wizard IS kind of hot…

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Generally, I don’t like sitcoms because they’re cringe and full of stereotypes particularly gender stereotypes, but I gotta say I adore Bob Hearts Abishola.

All of the characters have depth. It has a derpy bumbling fat guy male lead, but he’s actually a nice guy, like the kind that you totally understand why a woman might want to marry. Bob can get it. The female lead is gorgeous and funny and charming, and she’s allowed to be that without anybody holding her back. Quirky best friends are allowed to be sexy and over bearing mothers are allowed to find love. It’s alll so effortlessly enjoyable. 

Is it perfect? No it’s a sitcom and all sitcoms have a little bit of cringe in them but is it as close to perfect as you’re gonna get? hell yeah.

[dandylion-puff]

I could Google it but I’m too scared. Are they called hush puppies because they have a shit ton of onion in them??? Is my southern orb snack a horrific puppy murder joke? 😱

[wizardarchetypes]

i always mix up homophones. not like consciously like. if you asked me about 'here' and 'hear', where/wear through/threw, they're/their/there, flour/flower etc. etc. i know when to use which, but when i'm typing in a hurry i mix them up a lot for whatever reason. but if i stop and think for .000005 seconds i'm good.

and yet.

i can never ever ever ever ever remember if the bugs are beetles or beatles and i always have to google it.

this pisses me off real bad because i don't even care about the band at all and i'm a huge fan of

one sec lemme look something up

i'm a huge fan of beetles.

[wizardarchetypes]

okay i didn't actually look it up that was a joke and now i'm doubting myself. hold on

[wizardarchetypes]

okay yeah we're good.

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I just now right at this moment realized that The Beatles is a pun…

They make beats.

Uuuuuggghghhhhhhhghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh