I don't know what to do, I don't know how to feel, I don't know how to fix itβ¦.. I try to be fine and continue as if nothing had happened, but it's hard for me, I can'tβ¦β¦ I keep falling apartβ¦.. I thought that everything was getting better and that things were going too well, everything was going to the topβ¦ but quickly everything fell from the stairs and things brokeβ¦. something I really didn't want to happenβ¦β¦..
Sometimes I wonder what else I did wrongβ¦. why even after admitting my guilt and did I try to leave things well, did good things, show the good that is in me, as a good person believing that everything was going to get better again, on the contraryβ¦ happenedβ¦ still they left me aloneβ¦
I know that I have made mistakes like every human being, and I know that at some point I have screwed up like we all haveβ¦.. but I do regret it and I apologize, I have tried to fix things and improve more and more as a personβ¦β¦ I never had any bad intentions, I never wanted all of this to happenβ¦.. Why is all this happening to me?β¦..
How I wish I could travel back in time, repeat those moments, correct those mistakes, to prevent all that from happening, to avoid ending in this sad way, and to prevent things from remaining like this, I would have really wanted that, so everything would still be fine right nowβ¦. It's the least I wish I could doβ¦.. change things againβ¦. that everything remained calmβ¦.. What more can I ask for, what more can I beg?β¦β¦.. may everything be fineβ¦ let at least time help me compose everything if I can't travel to the pastβ¦β¦.
I have no more tears left, I have cried millions of times, too much, I can not anymore, I don't want to continue like this anymoreβ¦β¦ I feel like I'm destroying, I have died inside even though I have life on the outsideβ¦. sometimes I have the feeling that death is the best thing to not feel any of this pain anymoreβ¦. but on the other hand I wish this pain would heal, I want to heal, I want everyone to healβ¦β¦
I'm like a sad and fragile soul trying to be well, inside a happy and friendly costume that thinks positively and expresses affection to the outside world, hiding all its painβ¦
I honestly don't want to continue like this anymore, I'm tired of insomnia, of overthinking so much, to see that everything remains the same and nothing has come to an agreement or progressβ¦. I'm bleeding outβ¦ I feel like they stabbed me in the backβ¦. I'm dyingβ¦. I'm getting depressedβ¦. even though I try to continue with my life normally I still feel a lot of painβ¦β¦.
I don't want things to stay like this anymoreβ¦β¦ what I want is for everything to go back to the way it was before when everything was good and everything was joyβ¦.. and start from scratchβ¦..
Help meβ¦β¦β¦β¦β¦β¦β¦β¦β¦.
