“Have you ever loved someone? Have you ever felt your heart break?It’s inexplicably painful, and I don’t believe there is anything in the world like it. Losing the person you’re in love with? It breaks you down in a way nothing else does, your mind replays moments over and over again and suddenly you cannot breathe.. It’s countless nights crying in your bed at 3 am and sitting on your shower floor letting the water cover your endless tears. It’s hearing your friends tell you that he/she wasn’t worth the time, but amongst your nods in agreement you know they’re wrong. He/she was worth more than your time, there wasn’t enough time. You’d do anything for one more night. You watch movies that tell you about second chances, and how there is more than one soul mate, but the movies don’t portray how in the end you will always want that one person back in your life. Suddenly your nights are a lot less crying and a lot more alcohol, but deep down the pain you feel? Even the alcohol in your veins cannot consume the pain. You find yourself trying to feel for anyone but her, so there you are in the bathroom of some college party with someone else’s lips grasping at your own, and nothing works. Nothing feels like her lips did on your neck, or her hands in your hair. Its 11:30 pm, you’re 5 shots deep and you cave, you find baby girl in your phone because you could never change her name and you text her. She fucked up and you’re the one asking for another shot, another chance. You start with, “Hey!” but suddenly you begin to beg and plead, and she asks you to stop. She can’t take it, she tells you it was hard enough as is without you begging for her back. But you ignore this, because it seemed all too easy for her, she walked away and it doesn’t seem like she ever looked back. You give up, she’s not responding anymore, and you go back to drinking, you find a new girl, you find a new bed to lay in. Everywhere you go there are memories of her, where you first kissed, the plans you had but never made it to, the promises you made but you know she won’t keep. Every time you hear your song, you take a shot. You make it a game. You think of her, you take a shot; something reminds you of her, you take a shot; you’re still too sober, you take a shot. Then you wake up one day and it’s a Tuesday morning and the pain isn’t there, to be honest there is nothing there at all. You are a zombie, you breathe and force yourself to eat, but you’re not alive. You become a hurricane and you destroy everything in your path, people included. Everyone that once mattered to you doesn’t anymore and you break them down, in hopes that someone will understand how you feel. You find a way to get through the day with a schedule: eat, sleep, repeat. Momma once told me anything could heal with time, but the days are slow, the nights are long. I got lucky, I climbed out of that black hole she created in my heart and I pray to God i never experience that pain again . I swore off relationships and feelings the day she walked away, and then you came along and I can feel the storm coming back. You have no idea, but the idea of loving you scares me more than anything, because I already find myself giving you the parts of me I had once given her and the parts I never got the chance to, and I know there is a chance I will have to relive this torture all over again.”