[jxhn-mulaney]

[nyctaeus]

goingtopshelf:

punchbuggydragon:

breelandwalker:

irontargaryen:

*cracks neck* my time has come

Okay, first? Pay off all your debts. Take out a small loan and pay it off right away.

Buy several hundred vacant houses. Schedule repairs for said houses with reputable contractors and make sizable down payments in advance. Get everything in writing and hang onto those deeds.

Buy a large open parcel of land that is being auctioned for development. And when I say large, I mean LARGE.

Sink millions into paying off people’s Kickstarters / college loans / medical bills / mortgages, and give generously charity organizations. That alone will carry off a lot of money.

Once you’ve got things down to a reasonable level, say $1m, buy yourself a house, furnishings, appliances, and a dependable car. Pay everything off so that you own it free and clear. Purchase about $200k worth of something easy to liquidate (i.e. gold, gems, bonds, stocks). Put the rest onto prepaid credit cards and wait for Monday to roll around.

NOW THE FUN BEGINS.

You now have commendable credit and a shining public reputation.

Fix up and flip those houses, sell them for fair market value or below to families who need them, or create non-profit homeless shelters. (After all, it’s not like you need to “make” money, this is all running on the proceeds from the property sales.)

Sell the parcel of land to developers, or donate it to public works as a park or open space. Have them name it after you.

Retire to your fully furnished home. Liquidate your extra assets, or leave them to appreciate in value for a later date. Make Christmas epic with those gift cards. Keep the extra money in the bank and keep your day job.

And don’t worry about taxes when return time rolls around, because you’ll be able to write off several millions’ worth of charitable donations.

Basically this

This is someone who paid attention in finance class. 

[maxofs2d]

This is a well-documented perception gap.

http://www.pbs.org/speak/speech/prejudice/women/

In other public contexts, too, such as seminars and debates, when women and men are deliberately given an equal amount of the highly valued talking time, there is often a perception that they are getting more than their fair share. Dale Spender explains this as follows:

The talkativeness of women has been gauged in comparison not with men but with silence. Women have not been judged on the grounds of whether they talk more than men, but of whether they talk more than silent women.

In other words, if women talk at all, this may be perceived as ‘too much’ by men who expect them to provide a silent, decorative background in many social contexts. This may sound outrageous, but think about how you react when precocious children dominate the talk at an adult party. As women begin to make inroads into formerly ‘male’ domains such as business and professional contexts, we should not be surprised to find that their contributions are not always perceived positively or even accurately.

http://inthesetimes.com/article/16157/our_feminized_society

“If there’s 17 percent women, the men in the group think it’s 50-50,” she told NPR. “And if there’s 33 percent women, the men perceive that as there being more women in the room than men.”

The idea of a gender perception gap is borne out by studies in other areas. In one study on gender parity in the workforce, sent my way by colleague Flavia Dzodan, it was found that men “consistently perceive more gender parity” in their workplaces than women do. For example, when asked whether their workplaces recruited the same number of men and women, 72 percent of male managers answered “yes.” Only 42 percent of female managers agreed. And, while there’s a persistent stereotype that women are the more talkative gender, women actually tend to talk less than men in classroom discussions, professional contexts and even romantic relationships; one study found that a mixed-gender group needed to be between 60 and 80 percent female before women and men occupied equal time in the conversation. However, the stereotype would seem to have its roots in that same perception gap: “[In] seminars and debates, when women and men are deliberately given an equal amount of the highly valued talking time, there is often a perception that [women] are getting more than their fair share.”

How do you give men the impression of a female majority? Show them a female minority, and let that minority do some talking. This is how 15 minutes of Fey and Poehler becomes three hours of non-stop “estrogen,” how a Congress that’s less than 19 percent female becomes a “feminized” and male-intolerant political environment, and how one viable female Presidential candidate becomes an unstoppable, man-squashing Godzilla. Men tend to perceive equality when women are vastly outnumbered and underrepresented; it follows that, as we approach actual parity, men (and Elisabeth Hasselbeck, for some reason) will increasingly believe that we are entering an era of female domination.

[burntcopper]

things english speakers know, but don’t know we know.

[micdotcom]

Watch: Fox News sent a reporter to Princeton to make fun of “sensitive” college students

[yourbigsisnissi]

they have so little respect for the intelligence of this generation

[prissypixipea-deactivated201704]

Disgusting

[nerdgasrnz]

Fox reporter: What do you think of this blatantly offensive thing? College students: I don’t appreciate the light-hearted dehumanization of fellow human beings Fox reporter: lmao listen to this sjw bullshit #lol #kek #triggered

[geminibrujo]

wow…so they went to an Ivy League school with some of the brightest and hardworking young minds in the country and attempted to shame them for being intellectually sound and thoughtful of race in America? this shows you how disgustingly warped conservatives see the world and how they cater to the lowest common denominator, because this was supposed to make academics seem bourgeois. 

Please take a seat, Fox News. Your thinly veiled racism is starting to be much less veiled….

[celestialmoonchild]

Conservatives on just annoying pieces of shit

[jannahthoughtsdeactivated-deact]

It’s important to know that hijab is banned in schools in most of the european countries, such as france, belgium, switzerland etc. Millions of girls have to take their hijab off everyday in order to have access to education, and I am one of them. Please spread this as much as possible, it has become so normal here that I feel like a fool for even mentioning it, but I’m pretty sure it goes against the human rights. This senseless law has been on since 2004 and pretends that all the students have to be “equal” and it is prohibited to show that you belong to any religion, any religious sign must be set aside. However, most of us have to take our hijab off in schools where you can clearly see a christmas tree or a christian cross. “Yeah but it’s not the same”, they say. Tell me about double standards. I pray for days when we don’t have to chose between religion and education.

[temaree-deactivated20150416]

if you threw a pad or tampon into a crowd of boys they would probably all scream and it would be like that scene from monsters inc where george gets contaminated by a sock

[pagetbewbster]

story time

ok so in high school on away game days, the football players and cheerleaders would have to share busses because our school was broke as fuck so our cheer bus would always have a group of varsity footballerers in the back of it. one day my genius friend and I were discussing our feminist rage when she said “bridget you should totally throw a tampon back there and see what they do” and me being myself, stood up and hurled a one (1) tampon at the Manly Men. IT LOOKED LIKE A WAR MOVIE. THE BROS FACES WERE FILLED WITH HORROR AS THEIR BUDDY GOT SHOT. HE WENT DOWN SO DRAMATICALLY AS SCREAMS FILLED THE BUS. BOYS WERE SLINKING AS FAR AWAY FROM THE DEADLY TAMPON AS PHYSICALLY POSSIBLE. ONE BRO WAS EYEING THE EMERGENCY WINDOW WITH ALL SERIOUSNESS, READY TO FREE HIMSELF FROM THE THREAT. BEING IN CHICAGO, THE BUS DRIVER PULLED OVER ASSUMING A KID ACTUALLY GOT SHOT. A GIRL HAD TO GO GET THE TAMPON SO THE GUYS WOULD STOP SHITTING THEIR PANTS AND SIT THEIR ASSES THE FUCK BACK DOWN.

I have deduced 2 things from this whole experience: 1. men are ridiculous 2. I wish I had thrown more than one tampon

[rainnecassidy]

TRUE STORY

When my brother was in high school, as a prank, someone stuck a pad to the front bumper of his truck.  A CLEAN, UNUSED PAD.

My brother came home from high school, 17 years old, CRYING and my dad made ME go get it off his truck.

I had honestly forgotten about that until just now.

[hihiyas]

I sincerely regret never having done this during my school days.

[jedlknight]

story time (again!)

one time, in the middle of my freshman year, I was sitting in the band hall talking to a bunch of friends before school. let me preface this story by saying they were all guys (one of the hazards of being in the saxophone section–guys outnumbered the girls 6:1). Anyway, I dug around in my backpack for a tampon and slipped it into the sleeve of my sweater and was about to excuse myself to the restroom (which, if anybody has been paying attention, they would’ve known what was going on, because I’ve never been exactly subtle about things like this) but one of the guys kind of guffaws and goes “what’s in your sleeve? a tampon?” and I guess the way he rolled the word off his tongue like it was some kind of insult really bothered me, so I just pulled the brand new, still wrapped tampon out of my sleeve and went “you guessed it” and popped him across the cheek with it. I walked away to the restroom, vaguely aware of the strangled noises and sounds of disbelief and horror coming from the group of guys. They were all paying attention enough to know that I was digging in my bag for a tampon or pad, but apparently, the sight of the thing was too much for them. That group of guys couldn’t look me in the eyes for a few weeks, all because of a wrapped tampon

[lubiddu]

Yep. I’m an electrician, and we carry voltage meters with us (slang: “Wiggy”, from an old brand name of meter that just about no one uses any more). They take up too much space to put in a tool pouch, so if you don’t want to leave it in the tool box/bag, you’ll have a separate pouch on your tool belt for it. A long, narrow pouch that is convenient as hell for putting spare tampons in where they’ll stay clean and undamaged until needed.

A lot of the guys just leave their meters back in their tool boxes, which are in the gang box, which is usually some hike away from the actual work. So, “can I borrow your meter?” is something I hear a lot. And the response is always, “sure.” They always emit a high-pitched scream (somewhat similar to the tone emitted by the meter when voltage is present) when the tampons fall out when they take out the meter. “WHAT ARE *THOSE* DOING IN THERE?!!” I’ll pick one up and do my best Groucho Marx imitation (with the tampon as cigar): “Whaddya think they’re doing in there, sweetheart?” (wiggling eyebrows, “cigar” tapping). Their reaction is adorable. In almost thirty years of doing this work, I’ve yet to get a blase–“oops, didn’t mean to drop your tampons” response.

[jadelyn]

So what I’m getting from this is tampon shotguns/grenades as a weapon against overaggressive dudes in public spaces, y/y?

[winterlive]

oh my god, what a genius idea.  some dude won’t shut the fuck up, you don’t even look up from your phone as you pull a tampon out of the bag and just wave it at the motherfucker like a wizard’s wand.  AWAAAAAAY.

[violent-darts]

….what the hell is wrong with guys.

[lemonsharks]

oh man oh man I now want to keep a new pad in my pocket at all times for the occasion of being harrassed, calmly opening the pad, and stickying it to the jerkface’s face “To catch the bloody stupid ideas that keep dripping out of your mouth”

[elljayvee]

using an applicator tampon to fire the tampon at someone (you’d have to hit it hard & fast but practice makes perfect)

[variablejabberwocky]

MOAR STORY TIME:

in high school, in an AP science class, all the boys were in a group and huddled around something and acting like it was a bag of puke or something and daring each other to poke it. one of the girls asks what they’re doing and the boys look at each other all sly and shit and run over and shove this long white odd-shaped pen in her face. they ask her to identify it. she says its a pen. the boys look disappointed and go over to me and ask the same thing. 

i say “its a weird shaped pen” and they wiggle it around a little bit and go “yeah but what does it look like?” Im clueless to what they’re going on about. meanwhile all the rest of the class is watching. the dude finally gets tired of the unimpressed responses he’s getting and goes “it looks like a tampon, right?!” all triumphant like he found a bug and expects us all to scream in fear of it

instead the first girl he talked to reaches over to her bag and starts to rummage around going “no, THIS is what a tampon looks like” and BEFORE SHE CAN EVEN FINISH PULLING IT OUT all the boys have scattered to the farthest corners of the room, screaming, like banshee-roaches when the lights come on

it was funny as hell XD

all the girls were laughing their asses off. the boys didn't’ live that down for the rest of the year.

[neverenoughgay]

I once opened a brand new box of pads and as I was opening it my brother literally started screaming about how gross it was. I tried to tell him they were clean but he just kept telling me they were still disgusting so I took one out and threw one at him and he FREAKED THE FUCK OUT. My mom was lowkey laughing but I still got in trouble cuz he literally would not stop screaming. Keep in mind my brother is 21. Men are weak in the face of plastic and cotton.

[insanityallegra-deactivated2018]

So okay. I’ll add to this. It was sophomore year of high school and the entire school was on a field trip to a baseball stadium. My best friend and I were sitting in the middle of one of the buses. The back of our bus was full of a bunch of bratty, alpha-male type boys, and they were throwing M&Ms at us. My friend and I are ignoring them, because the useless chaperones were as useless as ever and even though we were literally sitting next to one they did nothing, they weren’t even paying attention.

Then somebody throws an actual rock, and it conks me on the back of the head. I cuss, get scolded by the teacher, who doesn’t even look up from her phone. The assholes in the back start snickering at me.

My best friend, bless her soul, pulls not one, not two, but seven tampons and a pad out of her bag, gets on her knees on the seat facing the back of the bus, and starts lobbing them like they’re friggin nukes.

And then the screaming starts. These are sixteen year old boys, screaming shrilly at the top of their lungs, panicking and trying to push towards the front of the bus, and the driver and two ‘responsible’ adults are suddenly faced with boys who are freaking out like some kind of jellybean monster is attacking them and who are trying to rush to the front of the moving, packed to capacity bus.

And nobody could prove she’d been the one to do it.

[56blogsstillcrazy]

Black women something amazing

[rynofslytherin-deactivated20211]

Okay, but what professor was such an asshole that they wouldn’t let a woman in labor do a makeup exam? You know someone said some shit and she felt like she HAD to do that exam, labor or no.

[writingjenna]

OK true story from one of my professors:

She got pregnant while getting her PhD. Not planned, but it would work out that she would do her lit review (where she had a massive list of books she had to spend two hours talking about) a month before her baby was due. Plenty of time, right?

Well, her daughter came a month early. On the day that she scheduled her lit review. So she’s in labor with a baby that’s four weeks early, she calls up her male professors that are going to be doing her lit review, and they say that squeezing a human being out of your vagina isn’t a good enough reason to cancel. She can’t reschedule, they’ll just fail her. And my professor will have none of that. They agree to have the lit review at the hospital, but they kick out all nurses and doctors because you can’t have anyone else in the room. (like the nurses are really going to be secret undercover English professors who will whisper to her answers about Virginia Woolf). So for two hours while my professor was in labor, these male professors are hounding her about early 20th century British literature and the nurses are just about losing it and as soon as it’s finish they rush back in to make sure everything is okay. And the best part of it is that my professor was so focused, so determined to pass and not let her 5 years of work end in a failure, that she says she didn’t feel any pain for those two hours. WHILE IN LABOR.

[the-freckled-feminist-deactivat]

Fucking men. Seriously.

[yarter-deactivated20170523]

YOU CAN’T TELL ME NOTHING BLACK WOMEN ARE JUST SUPERHEROES

[writingaboutmyrapists]

this is so unfair!!! she should sue them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[danielle-mertina]

These are definitely amazing women but these situations shouldn’t even have happened. It’s so misogynist how inhospitable higher ed is to mothers. Whereas fathers don’t suffer anywhere near these consequences for having children while in school.

[thoughtsof-r]

GIVING BIRTH IS NOT A GOOD ENOUGH REASON>????CZVNJAKNKNJADMF

[hempura]

DO YOU GUYS HAVE THAT ONE FRIEND THAT DOESN’T THINK SHE’S ANYTHING SPECIAL BUT SHE’S BEAUTIFUL AND FUNNY AND WITTY AND EVERYTHING AMAZING THAT YOU COULD EVER WANT IN A PERSON BUT SHE DOESN’T SEE IT AND YOU JUST WANNA TAKE HER AND SHAKE HER AND SCREAM IN HER FACE ALL OF THE AMAZING THINGS ABOUT HER JUST SO SHE WILL APPRECIATE HOW ABSOLUTELY LOVELY SHE IS 

[autumn-treehouse-deactivated201]

 someone could be thinking this about you right now you never know

[dannyblu]

@cumberbirdoftherings

[stunningpicture]

Americans and Mexicans playing volleyball over the border in Arizona

[borec0re-deactivated20160728]

This is fucking awesome.

[catasterismes-deactivated201407]

I love this holy shit

[climateadaptation-deactivated20]

Trump handed out Play-Doh to Louisiana flood victims. So, that really happened.

[lesbophobes-deactivated20220907]

this is just… beyond strange. why would you do that or think that was a good idea? why, specifically, play-doh? what did he think that would achieve? i’m really, really confused

[balaiduciel]

The governor specifically asked that the president and presidential candidates wait until next week to come because their visit would require relocation of police resources from rescue to politician protection. The governor did say they were welcome to come, just asked them all to wait. Of course, this guy didn’t listen to the political leader who knows what Louisiana needs the most right now, this joker relocated police resources, and unloaded a truck full of playdoh for a minute before leaving.

[tenaciouskittynightmare]

I’m just….I don’t know what to say

[blondeisawesome]

Putin “taking notes” during Obama’s speech.

[you-all-hate-me-deactivated2015]

If obama was speaking I’d do the same thing

[socialjust-ish]

While it’s very possible he’s doodling, let us not forget that Russian Cursive apparently looks like this:

So it is very possible he just has messy handwriting (look at how he’s holding the pen) and is in fact taking notes.

Or he could just be doodling.

[hominishostilis]

I’ve never seen Russian cursive and now I can’t stop laughing. 

[dontneedfeminism]

This kind of thing is why cursive is a horrible idea.

[snowstorm-thirteen]

Russian doctors notes written in cursive. Pretty sure Putin is actually taking notes.

[nikolasdraperivey]

My eyes….

[leonanson-deactivated20160729]

i guess their writing looks like they were rushin

[soylent-peen-deactivated2018121]

STOP

[sofiajonze-blog]

a guy walked into the board room and said

“hi sweetheart if you could fix me up a coffee real quick im meeting with the regional reports manager in like five minutes, thanks darling”

and i just stared at him and coldly said

“i am the regional reports manager”

we are now twenty minutes into this board meeting and i dont think i’ve ever seen a man look so embarrassed and afraid in my whole life

[heydr-k]

Good

[c3rvida3]

Bad News: Our boss locked the keys inside the building.

Good News: We didn’t have to wait around for a locksmith.

Bad News: My boss finds it very concerning that I know how to pick locks, and tried to unlock my Tragic Backstory™. I was too embarrassed to admit that the reason I learned was because, at thirteen, I figured that was the kind of skill that would impress cute girls.

Good News: A cute girl saw me do it.

Bad News: It was Maggie, and since she’s already seen me fall out of several trees, cry because I saw a fawn that was just too damn small, and knows I can ride a unicycle, she’ll never think I’m cool no matter what I do. It’s too late. She knows.

[theshantiestme11ophone]

When you’re a nanny and you make a terrifying discovery about one of the kids toys

[captioned-miscellaneous-videos]

Toy: K is for Kite! KKK!”

[ave4ten-deactivated20250811]

[0corn-tortilla0]

Stop it 😩 I needed this👏🏼❤️

[micdotcom]

[lucidnee]

mood

[violaslayvis]

me

[krxs10]