You can be me when I'm gone

You can be me when I'm gone

[zero1infinity]

[tsukiyamas]

why does this have 32k notes? it’s just a picture of a knife in a ranch bottle, is there some unspoken joke that 32 thousand people share? what is going on here, i dont get it. it’s just a fucking picture of a knife in a ranch bottle. is there some spiritual connection people have to this picture? is there some ominous and mystical reasoning that this has 32 thousand notes? do people reblog this because it makes them look like some indie blogger? or is there just something funny to this? someone please explain

[diggly]

no one tell him

[petermorwood]

This has come on a bit since 32K notes, proving that Tumblr appreciates a really pointed observation.

[guinevereslancelot]

it's a beautiful day at the roman senate and you are a horrible goose

[couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name]

I think if indiana jones' adoring students ever went on an Adventure(tm) with him it would be really funny if that was the turn off. like, a routine dig he was leading for the school goes awry and he has to get all cocky gunslinger ladies man hero mode and the students are like. hey what the fuck. his shirt gets ripped up revealing he's jacked and that one girl is immediately wiping the 'I love you' make up off her eyes. an entire room filled with artifacts gets destroyed while they make an escape and the kids are all horrified. "professor jones. how many people have you killed" "well, do you count the damn nazis as people-" "UNFORTUNATELY YES. LEGALLY YES. ARE ALL ARCHEOLOGISTS MURDERERS." he's flirting with some random woman on the dig and all the students are like what the hell. you can't talk like that. where did the droning and stutter go. why are you not flustered. she inevitably swoons into his arms or something and they're like "oh my God eww he's so sweaty. ma'am literally what's wrong with you. blink twice if you need help". they're so betrayed to find out he never even NEEDED glasses, he was wearing nonprescription lenses in class. Indy's lowkey hurt he's like I thought you guys thought I was cool :( and they're like 'yeah when you're in a bowtie and telling us about sumarian gardening techniques. WHY do you have a whip right now you freak'

[tyrantisterror]

I’m watching The Sword in the Stone for the first time in decades and I’ve gotten to the part where Merlin is trying to get Arthur to lose his virginity to a squirrel.

[tyrantisterror]

Y’know, if Merlin turned that squirrel into a human it would save Camelot a significant amount of problems down the road.

[tyrantisterror]

“Squirrels mate for life Arthur, so the chances of her fucking your best friend and inadvertently causing a schism that leads to the downfall of an entire utopian kingdom are completely nil!”

[tyrantisterror]

Ok hopefully this is the last time I add onto this but Arthur marrying the squirrel would stop both of the events that destroyed Camelot - namely the aforementioned falling out with Lancelot AND the birth of Mordred.  Being with him since youth, Squirrel would keep Arthur from being seduced by his half-sister Morgause (or Morgan Le Fay in the versions of the myth that cut Morgause out) when he was young and foolish, as he’d already be in a committed relationship and thus wouldn’t be able to be tricked into starting one with said half-sister.  No incest means no Mordred.  Then, as mentioned above, Squirrel would be a faithful wife, which means Guenevere would be single, which means Lancelot and Guenevere could pork each other without causing a huge row that ends with Lancelot killing dozens of his fellow knights of the round and inspiring several others to turn against Arthur out of loyalty to him.

Camelot would have been saved if Arthur just. Fucked. That. Squirrel.

[duskargentum]

You say all that but all I hear is “here is how Merlin trying to convince Arthur to become a furry could have saved the world”

[tyrantisterror]

Look this was a journey for me ok?

It started as “I can’t believe Disney made a movie where Merlin tries to get a squirrel to take Arthur’s virginity” and slowly became “I can’t believe Disney’s weird bestiality subplot actually solves the two biggest problems that cause Camelot’s downfall.”

Because as baffling as the squirrel fucking plotline is just on its own, the fact that it’d actually be solution to the eventual problems Arthur faces - whether anyone at Disney was actually thinking about that or not (and I’m guessing not) - is even more so.  It is bizarre and unsettling to me that squirrel fucking could have saved Camelot, and that’s, uh, the point of this I guess.

[literatedead]

So, pointless fun fact. Around 2008, someone on 4chan actually made a ‘humanized’ version of the squirrel called ‘Hazel’ (i.e. one who had been changed to a human to be with Arthur). For a little while, there were a number of artists making pieces about her, and stories written suggesting alternate histories.

I know it’s a minor point, but I still love the notion that people are still finding ways to rewrite the story so Arthur can f*@# the squirrel.

Whole gallery of pics here, because some of this artwork gets downright amazing…

[strixmoonwing]

I REMEMBER THESE!!!!

[mousathe14]

Fascinating

[bugcthulhu]

@tyrantisterror  your legacy endures

[tyrantisterror]

To an ever widening group of people, I am “that guy who ranted about Arthur fucking a squirrel.”

Of all my legacies, this is certainly one of them.

[spankzilla85]

I think I’ve posted about this before buuuuuuut fuck it? This makes me deliriously happy and sad. The resolution of Arthur becoming human and having to try to explain himself to a sobbing squirrel is one of my strongest childhood memories about having to deal with heartbreak and I’m literally fucking tearing up right now GOD DAMN YOU TYRANTIS.

[petermorwood]

“Ye Romance of Wart and ye Squirrel” would be a far better movie than “King Arthur: Legend of the Sword”.

It would certainly be less of a box-office bomb and franchise killer…

[burntcopper]

Not to mention, this version of Merlin lives backwards through time so knows all about the whole Morgause and Gwen/Lancelot clusterfuck, so he knows what’s coming, hence he’s got a vested interest in trying to get Wart to fuck that squirrel.

[thefilmcanary]

It’s a good day when this rant about squirrel fucking turns up again!

[burntcopper]

Every once and a while I trip, fall, and accidentally reread all of National Service because why not and inevitably become obsessed with it and Narnia again. This time I was wondering, does Bacchus/Stefan ever get introduced to the Pevensie parents? I'm happy they're chill with Edmund being gay but I can't imagine how they'd react to him bringing his boyfriend/consort/soulmate home for supper

(not been on tumblr in a while so only just saw this)

I've written a snippet where he drops by for sunday lunch in Finchley and he absolutely freaks them out. They're being very stilted and polite (it's not so much chill as 'our child has someone and we must get used to this and be happy for him and we're trying even though it's completely outside of our polite social circles') They're on tenterhooks because Edmund is suddenly incredibly relaxed and teasing someone and rolling his eyes in a way he only does with his siblings now. And it's this person who puts them completely on edge due to his presence (think star struck - Bacchus is intense af and Edmund is one of the few people this doesn't affect) . Plus of course he's being very amused by them trying to be polite and accepting.

Basically it's awkward af on their end, Edmund takes Bacchus aside to tell him off at least twice for teasing them, and they got to see Edmund and Bacchus snogging on the stairs and went 'so, um, definitely love each other no we are not talking about this.'

[luminarai]

And that was the last time anybody on the team attempted polite small talk with Beard.

I’ve been working on this since eurovision and got it done just in time for the s3 finale 🥲 speaking of eurovision, if you look really really closely at the interval show you might just be able peep Beard in the background…

[charlotte-fleming]

Isaac: …

Colin: What?

Isaac: Bumbercatch…Michael…you just have a thing for guys that make you feel tall, don’t you?

Colin: Isaac I swear to god I am the SAME HEIGHT AS JAMIE-

[badbucky]

every friend group should include…

[pierregaslays]

literally

[vareidow]

absolutely no patience for the jury bullshit i want the REAL votes I WANT THE QUEER FREAK OPINIONS

[jeremy-knox]

united by music? no, united by hatred for the jury vote

[lav3llans]

What We Do In The Shadows (2014), directed by Jemaine Clement and Taika Waititi 

[embrace-crab]

Dragons, with jobs

Artist credit to Flamecraft!

[forsty]

top gun maverick but everytime Mav says “Talk to me, Goose” Goose appears in the sky like Mufasa

[burntcopper]

Theatre list 2022

Best of Enemies (Young Vic)* Nutcracker (St Petersburg ballet) Street Scene (Kurt Weill) (Teatro Real Madrid) Private Lives (Hall for Cornwall) Verdi's Rigoletto: On the Lake (Bregenz Festival) Carmen (Sydney Harbour) The Dante Project (Royal Ballet) Madame Butterfly (Sydney Harbour) Groan-ups (Hall for Cornwall) Kiss Me Kate (BBC Proms) Aida (Sydney Harbour) Ludovico Einaudi : The Elements Around the World in 80 Days (Rain or Shine) The Collaboration (Young Vic)* Cyrano de Bergerac (Harold Pinter)* Bill Bailey Larks in Transit (ROH) Everybody's Talking About Jamie (Hall for Cornwall) The Play What I Wrote (Birmingham Rep) Rumplestiltskin (Ballet Lorent) Alvin Ailey American Dance Theatre henry iv part 1 (rsc 2014) Macbeth (Globe) Bonnie and Clyde (Arts Theatre)* Much Ado About Nothing (globe)* The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nighttime (Hall for Cornwall) (2nd half) Wine Night (Lona Theatre, AMATA) HMS Pinafore (ENO) Oklahoma (Young Vic) Magic Goes Wrong (Hall for Cornwall)* Kate Rusby (Hall for Cornwall) La Bayadere (Royal Balllet) Ladies of Letters (Hall for Cornwall)* Rough Girls (Lyric Belfast) The Recruiting Officer (Rain or Shine) Much Ado (National Theatre)* Much Ado (Blewbury) The Tempest (Globe)* Prisoner C33 Jack Absolute Flies Again (National Theatre)* I, Joan (Globe) The Tempest (Globe) Much Ado About Nothing (globe)* Six (Hall for Cornwall)* Richard iii (rsc) Les Ballets Trockadero de Monte Carlo (Hall for Cornwall)* The Seagull (Harold Pinter) Wuthering Heights (Bristol Old Vic) Nutcracker! (Bourne) White Christmas (Hall for Cornwall) Sleeping Beauty (Bourne) (Theatre Royal Plymouth) Gods of the Game (Grange Park Opera) Treasure Island (Hall for Cornwall) Henry V (Globe)* Hex (National Theatre) A Christmas Carol:  A Ghost Story (Nottingham Playhouse) As You Like It (sohoplace)*

Best 12

Best of Enemies (Young Vic)* The Collaboration (Young Vic)* Cyrano de Bergerac (Harold Pinter)* Bonnie and Clyde (Arts Theatre)* Much Ado About Nothing (globe)* Much Ado (National Theatre)* The Tempest (Globe)* Jack Absolute Flies Again (National Theatre)* Six (Hall for Cornwall)* Les Ballets Trockadero de Monte Carlo (Hall for Cornwall)* Henry V (Globe)* As You Like It (sohoplace)*

Best of Enemies : Hi we're going to examine ego and the birth of modern media and political commentary and identity and ... yes that is Andy Warhol, everyone else at the party is trying to ignore him too.

The Collaboration: Art! Reawakening artistic impulses!  Connection with the world! Tunes!  Paul Bettany!

Cyrano de Bergerac: Words, desire, the power of words, rap battles, being a dick because you can, falling for people, depth of emotion, James McAvoy's thighs (my view for the first ten minutes) and Christian and Cyrano falling for each other as well and MY HEART.

Bonnie and Clyde: We're gonna heist and we're going for fame and tomorrow doesn't exist.

Much Ado (Globe): It's Italy post-war.  We're all horny as hell, everyone is beautiful, the coppers are trying to kill us laughing via shenanigans, will you please get out of my shrubbery, and ladsladslads is it gay to wrestle your mates this much?

Much Ado (NT) : Setting:  Grand Budapest Hotel. Challenge:  ice cream toppings and pec popping. Glam as fuck. *mwah*. (not as good as Globe, Beatrice and Benedick were more weirdos who band together than banter, but achingly glam)

The Tempest (Globe): The Island is the spanish riviera, everyone is Brits who think they're better than the natives, Prospero's in a yellow budgie smuggler and it turns out this is actually a comedy, Lionesses win so they have to re-jig the Three Lions lyrics mid-run in glorious fashion and Prospero is absolutely a fuckhead slavemaster.

Jack Absolute Flies Again: WW2 farce! malapropisms delivered so perfectly you nearly kill the audience!  ukeleles!

Six: The ushers will dance and you can't stop us.  And yes everyone's favourites are the Annes.  Sorry not Sorry.

Les Ballets Trockadero de Monte Carlo:  The boys are back, they're en pointe and they're glorious.

Henry V (Globe): Henry goes full psychopath to the point that Jude Law's been left in the dust in scary Hals and I didn't think I'd ever say *that*.  When the usual comedic bits leave a hole in your soul.

As You Like It (sohoplace): Sorry, hearing actors.  Rose Ayling-Ellis has put a cherry on top of why Celia should be played by a deaf actor. (see Globe and Nadia Nadarajah) Entire cast flirting with the pianist should be encouraged.  Also: Alfie Enoch needs to go full ham more often. New best stage direction as provided by the subtitles; *pianist improvises frantically*

'Fuck off, keep fucking off, and fuck off again, you’re boring and tiresome and self-involved and why the fuck should I care about you?’ Award:

Aside from all the classical opera (I keep trying.  I fail.  This is just not a genre I can handle.  Decent tunes on occasion, lots of plodding pageantry and singing at people rather than advancing the plot. Though Gods of the Game was pretty decent by virtue of the fact that it kept employing opera tunes footie fans use but for adverts and the chorus of fans. Toreador as the jingle tune for a burger advert the lead is doing?  NICE.) Wuthering Heights.  Quite brilliant staging, and I thought it would be the Emma Rice-ness turning me off in this but no, it was the Bronte.  I literally just want to yell 'fucking leave, don't come back' at everyone.  The Emma Rice twiddly dance and music numbers were actually pretty good.

[prokopetz]

At the time of this posting, there are over 100 fics on AO3 with "Goncharov (1973)" tagged as their primary fandom.

[hinotorihime]

[dduane]

(helpless laughter)

[ohevoyev]

country boys wear the tightest pair of blue jeans you’ve ever seen and unbutton their flannel to the nipple like.. who at this rodeo needs to know you’re a slut. the clown?

[timgy]

Every time this post crosses my dash it’s tagged with a different Timothy olyphant character and you’re all correct