Commodore Avery Tullen

My personal blog. It's more for me than it is for you, but if you find my reblogs funny or educational, then that's cool, too.

[lesbianhouseplant]

Ah yes, the 3 genders. Male, female, and “what the fuck are you, a cop?”

[finnglas]

when i was a tiny baby queer (aka a 24-year-old), i went to my first pride festival probably three months after i kicked ex-gay therapy to the curb and came out to my parents. being the people they are, my parents came with me. they weren’t really sure about this whole gay thing, but they loved me and wanted me to be safe and happy and wanted to be involved in what was important to me, so they came along. (i also think my mother still might have thought i might get drugged or murdered or beaten by a protester of which there were plenty.)

anyway i wanted a memento of my first pride, you know, and this one vendor was selling keyrings, and i liked it, so i bought one. do you remember those italian charm bracelets that were all the rage like 10-15 years ago? it was a keychain like that, and it had a rainbow rooster, a rainbow cat, and then just a rainbow, and so I bought it.

i run into my mom a couple of vendors over and she goes oh you bought something? what’d you get? so i showed her, and i was like, “I’m not sure why it’s a rooster and a cat. Seems kind of random. But I liked the rainbows.”

and my mom, who was some form of minister’s wife for most of my childhood and teenagerhood, stares at me like she thinks i’m joking.

“What?” i say.

“…it’s a cock and a pussy, Jules,” she says flatly, and that is the story of how i died at the age of 24 while attending my first pride festival.

[finnglas]

I love how every June this one gets dug up and passed around again, lmao.

[finnglas]

oh no is this what we’re doing now

[finnglas]

…relic…

*crumbles and blows away on the wind*

[dappertullen]

Recently, I found words to elucidate and effectively describe my gender:

Not feminine like Audrey Hepburn, but like Ziggy Stardust.

Not masculine like Billy Joel in White Wedding, but like Billy Joel in Uptown Girl.

Basically, not *not* the Thin White Duke, but absolutely the Goblin King Jareth.

Like, probably not Sting from Sting and the Police, but very certainly Sting, Brian May, __and __ Rod Stewart in All for Love.

Very much not Bono, but sometimes Jon Bon Jovi.

Sometimes Dev, sometimes Kesha(no dollar sign anymore, she specifically asked).

Not Taylor Swift, but 100% Taylor Swift in Belong With Me.

Not Eddie Vedder. So Billy Joe Armstrong.

Not Madonna, but very Cher.

Not really Celine Dion(but every respect on her name), but a whole lot of Dodi.

I think this sums it up very neatly: both Tyler Glenn, AND Elaine Bradley.

I think that makes sense.

yeah. yeah that makes sense.

[succumbing-song]

[furryprovocateur]

i started reading this book and kept tilting my head at the comparisons the author was using so i started a running list of them

[furryprovocateur]

this author's use of imagery is so questionable

[furryprovocateur]

i actually went "what the fuck" and had to stop for like 5 minutes after this one

[furryprovocateur]

[caffeinewitchcraft]

these sort of descriptions are better used in first person or third person limited, used to make your main character quirky and quick-witted

because if you use them in third person omniscient im going to assume the narrator is an actual character in your book who is 1) more interesting than your main characters and 2) a god who is going to step in eventually and change the genre to absurdism

[thehauntingofjulia]

a goofy movie: a touching commentary on the strained relationship between a young boy and a father who, having lost his beloved wife more than 10 years ago, struggles to accept that his son is growing up. the more he desperately tries to keep max close, the more max pulls away as he yearns for independence - yet he secretly takes comfort in knowing that his loving father will always be there the moment he wants to go home.

an extremely goofy movie: max does some sick kickflips and finds out he’s gay

[lost-lunch-trey]

Fuck you all, an extremely goofy movie is great and don’t get me started on this

[thehauntingofjulia]

what part of “max does some sick kickflips and finds out he’s gay” makes you think I was inferring the movie was bad

[kim-jong-chill]

i need feminism because when jesus does a magic trick it’s a goddamn miracle but when a woman does a magic trick she gets burned at the stake

[mattheuphonium-blog]

fabulous 

[tockthewatchdog-deactivated2020]

i mean they did also kill jesus. that was a pretty significant thing that happened. like i understand where you’re coming from here but they very much did kill jesus.

[counterpunches]

#HAPPY GOOD FRIDAY

[dappertullen]

Okay, but if I may, perhaps just as importantly, they didn't kill Jesus for doing a magic trick. They killed him for political reasons. And while that might also be said for "witches"(the Salem trials and generally speaking many of the rest of the witch trials actually had little to nothing to do with practicing "the occult"), if we keep strictly to the accepted lores, witches were killed for doing magic, whereas Jesus was killed for being a political/religious upstart and upsetting the status quo among the Pharisees, et al.

Which is to say, we need feminism because when a woman does magic, she gets burned at the stake, but when a man does it, he gets to live into his early thirties, teaching people socialist principles, hanging out with people who are quite honestly the coolest cats in society, and only gets killed because he's causing societal changes such that the currently prevalent political bodies see him as a threat and hand him over to the local magistrates for him to be killed. Then! HE GETS A WHOLE ASS RELIGION NAMED AFTER HIM!

[redstonedust]

nonhuman characters with binary human genders because the writers just defaulted to it with no further thought: yawn boring

nonhuman characters with no gender or their own distinct gender system that cannot compare to humans: pretty good pretty good

nonhuman characters with binary human genders but in a distinctly transgender and/or otherkin way that implies this creature saw the concept of 'girl' and had a deep earthshaking revelation about herself: NOWW WE'RE COOKIN

[depsidase]

[saywhat-politics]

Someone asked why I bothered to bash Trump on social media

[stealingpotatoes]

life can't be that bad when there's still cat and other assorted creatures

[mysharona1987]

[mysharona1987]

Of course Star Wars makes the best political point ever.

[depsidase]

[redstonedust]

CODE RED: local man has gotten sick of one of their 3 standard comfort meals and will be commiting to starving instead of learning how to cook anything new. experts are saying "dude why are you crying" and "hey hows the autism diagnosis going"

[dappertullen]

I once spent several months eating cereal pretty much every day. Then, one day, I didn't. Same with ramen.

I rarely eat cereal anymore, and my ramen consumption is drastically reduced, and I'm not sure if it was this exact situation from OP, or my current living situation being one that (very, very blessedly) includes living with someone who genuinely derives pleasure from cooking and providing healthy meals to their friends.

[caffeinewitchcraft]

Cortana can actually go fuck itself it wants me to take all the FLAVOR out of my writing, you can pry my dashes and ellipses and fucking fragments out of my COLD DEAD HANDS you fucking AI motherfucker

[dappertullen]

For real, stop fucking blue underlining my idiosyncratic ways of saying things and perfectly valid way of explain that I have had to write something in a specific way because that's how English was supposed to be written when I learned to write it! (MWord would tell me to omit the word "have" above and just say "I had to write...")

AND STOP TELLING ME WORDS I'VE CLEARLY MADE UP ARE MISSPELLED!!!

actually, probably don't do that. I still need spell-check, even if I'm gonna ignore it.

[kawareo]

Got reminded again of my old coworker who was a massive misogynist but also trans inclusive. Told me he believed trans women are indeed women because "only women would be stupid enough to want to be women"

I wonder what he's doing now

[kawareo]

He also aggressively corrected himself whenever he accidentally misgendered a trans guy we knew because "there's already more women than men in the world, the more numbers we steal from them, the better." Did that even when the trans guy wasn't around.

[kawareo]

I need to point out that he was completely serious btw. This man had no sense of humor if he tried.

He was a cook at the restaurant/bar I was a bartender at, and almost punched a costumer once because he overheard him talking about how women belong in the kitchen. Told me he thought women should stay out of kitchens, that cooking is a man's job and when I asked him what he thinks women should be doing, he went quiet for a moment, then proceeded to explain to me the following

"I trust a bitch to run a kitchen as much as she can run a country, they should do shit like plumbing. Or electricity. Something you can just learn to do and don't need to lead, you know?"

Apparently women are good at "fixing shit". He claimed that he doesn't trust male plumbers or electricians except if they're gay because "something most be wrong with you if you want to go fix other people's houses, that's that maternal instinct"

[kawareo]

Love that you guys seem to like the stories about my Guy, here's another. (also for context i need to say that english is not the language he spoke, and when i say 'fag', i'm using it for our version of the slur. Our Guy insisted that that's just how you call gay people in our language (it isn't))

We had an openly gay coworker who looked like it (crop tops, dyed hair, make-up) and he was often harassed by the waiters from the football bar next door. The gay dude had the same name as the Guy, who insisted that we would specify the he isn't gay, so they just became "Name" and "Not Gay Name". He was fine with that.

Oh he also once went on a rant about how he respects our gay coworker more than "those other fags" because "at least he has the balls to look like a fag, yknow? None of that sneaky shit where you can't tell if they're trying to fuck you or your girlfriend." When I then told him I was bi, he looked me over and called me some slurs before telling me that I don't need to rub it in that I can get both. Then he asked me if I think he's hot and when I told him no, he informed me I should stick with women because I clearly have shit taste.

[kawareo]

He once accidentally bullied one of our younger waitresses out of an early eating disorder she was developing before working there (she told me about it after)

Boss gave us one meal from the menu a day as a job bonus, and we had this very shy seventeen year old working with us who was already nervous around men, but Our Guy was a 6'3 dude who only stopped yelling and cursing when he was not speaking at all. If he was the one cooking that day, he'd peek out of the kitchen an hour before he'd start closing it up, and would shout at you if you haven't ordered your meal yet because he hated cooking once he already cleaned. The waitress was scared shitless of him, and so whenever he would yell at her to "fucking order already", she'd panic and just pick something.

She didn't eat much but the first time she tried to throw out almost the whole plate, he got so personally insulted that he berated her for not picking something she'd like, and demanded to know what he did wrong. He got really upset about apparently not being able to cook something that this kid would like and I'm pretty sure he started putting in extra effort to make sure she would eat it this time? It lead to him quite literally standing over her like a hawk when she ate to "see her reaction" and demand an immediate review to see what he can improve.

She later told me that it she was so scared and awkward around him back then that it kind of overrode her fear of food, and that she still sometimes pretends she's back there, when she feels a bad episode coming on, so. He did do something good for the world i guess

[kawareo]

Our Guy met a nonbinary person once when my friend came to visit me at work. He was just on a smoke break so I had to introduce them and when I said "They're visiting" he got confused and asked us how many people are there (and then threatened murder if they dare order something while he's on a break). I had to explain this man what a nonbinary person is, he thought about it for a second, called the whole thing "fucking stupid, there ain't that shit in nature" and then proceeded to very mockingly refer to them as (our language equivalent of) "your majesty" and use the pronouns you use for people you're supposed to respect (which is genderless and very formal)

My friend thought he was really funny before I explained to them that I'm pretty sure he thought he was being mean (but hey he it wasn't misgendering so yay)

Then (after his break) they ordered a vegan sandwich and we heard him cussing them out about how "they should pick a fucking struggle". Later I asked him about it and got told that "how much shit can you deny yourself? Cheese, gender, the fuck's next?"

[veal7creative]

"Cheese, gender, what the fuck's next?"

I like how his issue isn't with the "that shit ain't in nature" thing he mentioned, but the idea that being nonbinary is some form of self-deprivation and that they deserve a gender like everyone else.

More notes for The Study

[hussyknee]

This post made it to TikTok.

[elodieunderglass]

What a FASCINATING person

[dappertullen]

Dude doesn't have implicit bias. It's like he never learned the societal hatred for women, but somehow developed his own.

Points to Hobbes and Kant, I guess? I really don't like to give either of them the W, but what else can I do?

[queerfemme]

the moon is a lesbian and she hates terfs

[queerfemme]

the moon told me personally that she thinks you’re obnoxious and hopes you never get a girlfriend

[q-is-a-letter]

I have a theory that the moon IS a trans woman cause she’s always associated with feminine things but when we saw the craters that look like a face we called it “The Man In The Moon”. She’s a woman with a face that people may perceive as male. She’s a beautiful trans woman

[queerfemme]

[excalibelle]

the moon is a beautiful trans woman who hates terfs and shows her face every night to remind other trans women they are beautiful and strong and loved and important and wonderful and that terfs and their opinions dont matter

[hiranyaksha-deactivated20220613]

I wanna add to this if it’s ok?? In Hindu mythology, Chandra, the moon, was originally thought of as a male deity. However, as time went on, symbolism involving the moon and the name “Chandra” itself became identified with femininity, with beautiful girls being described as having “moon-like faces,” with their dark, long hair reminding lovers of the midnight sky, and names like “Nilaa” (”moon” in Tamil) and “Indu” (in Sanskrit) are now pretty much now completely girl names! 

AlsO Chandra is married to 27 wives, who are all stars. The moon is a trans lesbian and is gay for all the stars in the sky. 

[fandomssaremysoul]

Reblog if you’re gay for the trans lesbian poly moon who supports all woman.