Scream a little. Show up to a party covered in blood. Wear black. Slay a god. Done.
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will byers stan first human second
One Nice Bug Per Day
Misplaced Lens Cap

#extradirty

ellievsbear
Xuebing Du

Andulka
trying on a metaphor
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her

⣠Chile in a Photography âŁ
$LAYYYTER
Mike Driver
hello vonnie
Keni
Show & Tell
i don't do bad sauce passes
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
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@darkchild
Scream a little. Show up to a party covered in blood. Wear black. Slay a god. Done.
altmanlyâ:
No, that was more Billyâs thing.
Aha. The words of a coward.
altmanlyâ:
I already did that when I was like sixteen, Illyana.
And what of the fishnets and heavy makeup? Did sixteen year old you include those as well?
altmanlyâ:
:(
#I think I just need to be cooler.
Thatâs a place to start. Go get yourself a leather jacket and cut some holes in it. Then we can work on a cooler sword.
altmanly said: My sword hits me in the head when I say its name and I got it by pulling it out of an asteroid, proving my claim to the Skrull throne.
Get a cooler sword, Teddy. What will the internet dwellers think of you with that kind of backstory?
If your weapon doesnât manifest when you call it or sing when you speak to it, get a new one. And if your weapon isnât a literal manifestation of your core being, then donât bother.
âWhy do you only talk in three word sentences in person, Illyana?â Maybe stop interrupting me with useless questions and Iâll get more words out.
The dark dances donât start âtil I walk in.
Billy and I could destroy universes, and instead we ding dong ditch the Sanctum Sanctorum. Weâre unstoppable.
Iâm on the worldâs most wanted list, but it wasnât for all of the murders or anything. More because I broke all of the elevators in Avengersâ Tower repeatedly, over the course of several weeks.
I could expand my social circle. Talk to new people. But that would require getting out of my tastefully on-fire bed and having a social circle to begin with.
It may alarm you to know that many superheroes have normal side jobs. That strange lawyer that lives down the street? Sure, you could hit his car and choose not to say anything about it, but you better watch it. His primary job is gallivanting around as Captain America, and he wonât hesitate to send you a harshly-worded letter.
Itâs too hot.
photophobos said: The only part of this that I'm not on board with is the petty theft. If I'm going to use my skills as a magician to steal, I'm going to steal from the best. We're going to hit every singular Fortune 500 company. We're going to find Jeff Bezos and steal the clothes off his pale, pale body.
Now weâre talking. Iâm equipped with Security-Guard-Be-Gone in the form of my massive sword, so Iâm ready to walk right into any fancy corporation and make them regret hoarding so much money. To make things a little more interesting, I wonât use my teleportation powers at all. Weâll give them a head start and chance to run.
photophobos said: This sounds less like a blackmailing scenario and more as if I have to assemble the world's greatest magician troupe.
Isnât that the basics of blackmailing. First, you recruit them to your team of misfits, making them lower their guard, as they will be under the impression that the two of you have a connection. And then you exploit their greatest fears to get what you want. The magician part is just for fun. Why bother doing anything if youâre not going to make a show out of petty theft by claiming itâs a magic act?
photophobos said: So opening with a card trick is a good idea?
An excellent idea, actually. Itâs always interesting to experience what other people perceive as magic. If you catch me in the right mood, I might even show you how to juggle cards that are on fire.
photophobos said: Should I be briefed before I confront alternate versions of you, because it generally seems like it would go poorly for me.
Funny. You think that any version of me would allow you to confront them?