warnings: vague mentions of abuse, mentions of crying and symptoms of ptsd
a/n: this is something I wrote mostly for myself, but still, I hope you enjoy. Remember, if you relate to this fic, or have been in an unhealthy or abusive situation, it wasn’t your fault. You are loved, you are worthy of good things. Take care of yourselves.
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⠀⠀⠀⠀ You’d promised you’d be back to bed, but as Druig could guess. You weren’t, and wouldn’t be for a while. You were cleaning a few extra things, you said. “I’ll be there soon love,” you promised. But every hour almost, Druig woke up to an empty bed, hearing You pace around the house. He knew what you were doing and why. He just wished he could calm you down.
⠀⠀⠀⠀ He didn’t even have to check, he’d seen it a million times before. You pacing the house, checking every door and window every few minutes in case you missed something, sitting guard in the living room, eyeing the front door. What was surprising tonight, however, was when he felt the bed dip. Except his partner wasn’t getting into bed. They were sitting at the end of it, watching the opening to their shared bedroom.
“Y/N?” Druig called tiredly.
“Go back to bed, it’s alright,” You said calmly.
⠀⠀⠀⠀ Druig did as he was told, but he couldn’t stand it when he woke up again to find his partner in the exact same position as before. You were truly almost like a dog, Druig mused. Standing guard, protecting the one thing you held dear. Druig stood up, walking to stand beside your tensed form.
“Hun, you need to go to bed.”
“Love, c’mon, we’re safe. You don’t have to watch, okay? Now c’mon.”
⠀⠀⠀⠀ You only shook your head. Druig sighed. Guess he’d have to be more assertive about this.
“No!” You suddenly shouted.
“I’m not going to bed. I have a bad feeling and I’m not gonna let something happen and let them-“
⠀⠀⠀⠀ Then it dawned on Druig. This wasn’t just your normal anxiety. It was paranoia, caused by that son of a bitch who hurt you so long ago now. His blood boiled at the thought of what his lovely partner had to endure, but he understood.
⠀⠀⠀⠀ He squatted down in front of you, his hands on either knee. “Listen, okay? They aren’t here. They never will be. I’m safe, I’m okay. This home is safe. You, are safe. There’s nothing you have to protect me from.”
⠀⠀⠀⠀ You looked away, silent. He raised a hand, his heart clenched when he saw you flinch away from it. He lowered it slightly, moving to slowly to gently hold his partner’s face. “It’s okay darling, it’s okay,” he murmured.
⠀⠀⠀⠀ You weren’t sure you believed him. You weren’t sure you deserved to. You were an Eternal, a god! In theory, anyways. But your mind, as sharp was it was, could still fall victim to the manipulations of humanity. Just like the rest of you, mental or physical. That single fact, it killed you inside.
⠀⠀⠀⠀ You shouldn’t have let it happen, you reasoned. You’re stronger in every way! How did this happen? You couldn’t do anything but blame yourself. It felt like it was all you ever did anymore.
⠀⠀⠀⠀ Druig didn’t know all of the details, and he never pushed you. He knew what he needed to, sadly. That, was that when the Eternals separated so many centuries ago, you went off alone. As they all did, but you got a lot less lucky than most. Sometime in those years, someone hurt you. Someone did something that changed you, took something from you that you’d never get back.
⠀⠀⠀⠀ He knew it. You knew it. He wasn’t sure you even had to tell him, he saw it. In the way you acted, the look in your eyes. Still, you told him enough. He hated himself for leaving you, for not being around and letting something like that happen to you.
You still blamed yourself.
Druig sighed, pulling you both from your thoughts.
“Can i hold you?” He asked softly. You nodded after a moment.
He pulled you in, holding you against his chest.
“Let’s take a few deep breathes, my love,”
You listened to his breathing, his heartbeat. You felt his chest rise and fall rhythmically, and you followed.
“Good, that’s good.” He moved slowly, picking you up with him. “Now let’s get my sweet to bed, okay?”
⠀⠀⠀⠀ You didn’t respond, but you weren’t fighting him. He laid you down carefully, and climbed in behind you. He pulled you close to his body once more, rubbing soothing circles on your back, using his other hand to trace along your cheek gently.
⠀⠀⠀⠀ You stared, but not really at anything. You looked, far away. That was his best guess, anyways.
“It wasn’t your fault, y’know.”
⠀⠀⠀⠀ That got your attention. For some reason, it made your whole body tense, made tears appear in your eyes. You didn’t let them fall.
“It really wasn’t. You didn’t deserve what happened to you, y/n. I know you think I’m bullshitting you, but listen. It wasn’t your fault.”
⠀⠀⠀⠀ You sniffled, and your throat hurt from the effort of keeping yourself from crying. He went on.
“It didn’t ruin you. It changed you, maybe. I don’t know how it couldn’t change a person, but it didn’t break you. You aren’t dirty, you aren’t damaged goods. You aren’t broken, y/n.”
⠀⠀⠀⠀ That, now that was the final straw. Tears fell faster then you could keep up with, and before you could thing, you were behind your face in Druig’s neck as he hushed you, and held you.
“Shhh, I know. I know darling, it’s okay.”
⠀⠀⠀⠀ It felt like years of pent up feelings had been released, like a weight was off your shoulders. It didn’t fix anything, you were still traumatized. You still had a weight that most didn’t, but someone knew. You had someone to share it with.
“I love you, so very much y/n. Nothing is going to change that. My partner isn’t broken, my partner is strong.”
⠀⠀⠀⠀ You couldn’t say anything else, you didn’t know what to say. So you just let him hold you. You let yourself cry, and finally, you told him thank you. He claimed you didn’t need to, because of course he did. You did anyways.
⠀⠀⠀⠀ You let him hold you, you let him take care of you. For the first time in a long time, you felt safe.
It wouldn’t fix what happened to you, but that was enough for now.
