Sit a Spell, Let Me Tell You a Story

       Hello, I'm Tanner! 20-something for a little longer, at least. He/him. I'm way into writing original stuff, making content for Dungeons & Dragons, and just giving my thoughts on what is going on in the community. I've been DM'ing for over two years, and I'm currently running Princes of the Apocalypse, Wild Beyond the Witchlight, and Spelljammer Academy. I may post about them in the future, with my players' permission, of course. TTRPG content I post will be primarily Dungeons & Dragons, original and non-original content. Original content will either be tagged 'homebrew' click on 'My Creations' to check those out, or my thoughts on stuff will be tagged 'musings' click on Musings to read those. I may also post non-TTRPG stuff, such as any writing I feel like sharing, or whatever media has me by a stranglehold. If you don't wish to see those, you can block the 'off topic' tag. With that out of the way...let's get inspired!    

[darkerknowledge]

There is a certain internet gothic vibe about captchas now and other options on sites. Like is clicking “PLEASE REMEMBER ME” and “I AM NOT A ROBOT” going to become less about convenience and more about reminders to ourselves?  

[darkerknowledge]

If you’ve come here from the post about the one shot, the slots are filled. However! I’m starting a dnd server on discord for people to talk about it/their games/ other ttrpg stuff, and maybe find their own games with the cool people who join. If you wanna join that, please let me know! 

[darkerknowledge]

OPEN DND ONE SHOT ON DISCORD

Hello, I’m planning on running ‘Prisoner 13′ from the upcoming dnd book ‘Keys from the Golden Vault’ on Friday the 17th of February at 6:30 PM CST. I will be the DM. I’m looking for 4-5 people to join me as adventurers! If you are interested, there’s more information below the cut.

How does dnd on discord work? It’s a lot like in person play, I will narrate, you will interact with your fellow party members during exploration/roleplaying. Combat is the only thing different since we won’t have physical battle maps and minis to use.  How will combat work?  I will have a hand drawn map that I will stream via webcam. I don’t paint minis, so it’s a lot of ‘this is a dragon, this is you, what happens?’ Do I have to show my face on discord to a bunch of strangers?  Nope! I won’t be. Are you LGBTQ+ friendly? Yes! Will this be a good space for women? Also yes! Age requirement?  18+ preferred, not out of any explicit reasons, but when everyone is over 18 it makes it easier. If you are younger, let me know as we will talk about it and mention it to the table so nothing inappropriate happens. How much does this cost?  A whopping 0 dollars! Are you a good DM? I had a dnd show for awhile, I wrote content for dnd as a freelancer for a third party publisher for awhile, and I’ve been DMing for four years this summer! I’ve had players stick around long enough to finish 3 campaigns, and that number keeps climbing! I’m not very experienced, is that okay? Sure, as long as your familiar enough with the terminology, we can work together. If you’ve watched a dnd show like Critical Role or Dimension 20, you should be good. I am newbie friendly!  Why are you blazing a post for a one shot?  I want to meet cool dnd friends, and I’m hoping after a trial run of one shots, if we all like each other, it’ll turn into a weekly or biweekly campaign! How long will the game be?  I’m not sure, there’s all sorts of ways the game could be short or go longer. I’ll confer with everyone on how long they can stay, and find a good stopping place if it goes on too long. Then we will do a part 2 if you all want to. You needn’t worry about having to go to bed and the rest of us playing. Will there be a session 0?  Yes and no. For a one shot, I don’t think we need to meet up beforehand, but there will be safety tools in place (such as lines and veils) and what I call ‘hard-no’s’.  What is a hard-no? There are a few things that I as a DM am uncomfortable with running, and therefore won’t. For example, explicit roleplay. This will be covered by a ‘fade to black’ if it even comes up (it probably won’t.) If you had to rate your content like a movie what rating would it be? Pg-13 that allows you to say ‘fuck’ more often than just once. I cuss a lot, but less out of anger and more filling in my sentences.  Can I play homebrew?  Not for a one shot. The limit is officially published classes/subclasses/species/subspecies with stuff Matt Mercer made by approval.  Is there anything banned? Yeah, Silvery Barbs and bigotry. 

What if I want to play the one shot but not the campaign you’re looking to start? Yeah, that’s fine. This isn’t a contract.  Can I talk with the other players to build a better team composition?  If you all are the type of players to want to build a group together, you are more than welcome. However, you should be able to go through the one shot playing whatever you like. I will balance for the party rather than the last person who joins getting pushed to healer if there isn’t one already. Your fun is important! If you want to be a tiefling warlock and we have 2 other warlocks, then who cares? ELDRITCH BLAST FOR DAYS, YO! Can my friend join? Yeah, if there’s room.  What if I really want to play and miss an open slot?  The more the merrier, I say. I’m also building a discord server for dnd nerds to have fun, so you could join that one and play something else! What are your inspirations? I love horror, but this isn’t a horror game. What I like about the fantasy genre is how cinematic it can be. It’s fun to narrate, like jumping in the air and bringing an axe down on the dragon’s head while it tries to shake you off, but you hold on! That’s epic! I love that, but I also love down to earth character moments, too. Your party slayed the ancient dragon and now have its hoard. Do you keep it and run? Do you pay off your debt to the Thieves’ Guild? Or are you Robin Hood types? What happens when all three of those are in the same party? Nicholas Eames, writer of Kings of the Wyld and Bloody Rose, is pretty similar to how my games feel, but with a lot less wink-wink-nudge-nudge third wall breaking.  What if my question wasn’t answered here? I’m here to answer questions. My ask box and my direct messages are open! 

[darkerknowledge]

OPEN DND ONE(ish) SHOT

Would anyone be interested in playing in “Infiltrate Revel’s End” from the upcoming dnd book? Where: Online, discord When: Friday the 10th of February (time tbd, but I’m CST) Cost: Nothin! Do I have to show my face?: nope, I won’t! level: 4 lgbtq: very welcome Message or ask me for more info!

[darkerknowledge]

Would anyone be interested in playing “Infiltrate Revel’s End” from the upcoming dnd book? I kinda want to run it.

[darkerknowledge]

When I went to work today there wasn’t a new tumblr phenomenon. When I went to my late lunch, there was a new tumblr phenomenon that has already been driven so far into nonsensical, post-modernist memery that I have no idea what even started this. Vanilla extract. Is trending. I have no idea why. This isn’t even the first time! By the time I knew Goncharov was fake, there was already canon characters and shipping wars. I have no idea what the fuck a plinko horse is. I’m on this website every single day. How do I keep missing this shit? 

[darkerknowledge]

[darkerknowledge]

One problem with being a book nerd at the level I’m in (I’m not saying I’m under the water in the iceberg metaphor, but the water’s gettin’ close) is that I end up considering ordering one stupid-expensive book with my credit card to get a shitload of rewards points which I then can use for another stupid-expensive book.

[darkerknowledge]

When Tess jumps into bed with Joel and he is the little spoon and she wraps her arm around his tummy, I looked over at my friend and said “I should take a screen shot of that and label it ‘👏 JOEL 👏 GETS 👏 PEGGED 👏’” but HBOMax has some sort of anti-screenshot technology, so now you just have to imagine it.

[darkerknowledge]

Batman: The Killing Joke is an okay comic, but I hate the adherence to it as if it were some holy Batman bible. I’ve never engaged in a decent conversation with someone who loves the comic as someone who doesn’t. It usually just ends up being dudebros mad that I actually like superheroes, unlike Moore, and that I like Barbara Gordon’s character. I’m glad other (better) writers gave her more to do.

[darkerknowledge]

You know you’re really close to being over a relationship when you can listen to Billie Eilish’s “No Time To Die” without crying.

[darkerknowledge]

I hope you all are excited to experience Rime of the Frostmaiden for real today!

[darkerknowledge]

Avatar: The Way of Water is like three and a half movies and none of them are fully fleshed out. The movie I wanted to see was skipped over with a title card. No one’s motivations make any sense. This movie needs so much suspension of disbelief and immediately pulls you out the second you get pulled in every single time. There’s a white boy with dreads in a loincloth and paint for the entire movie. His entire character crumbles under one second under scrutiny. Do you like answered to questions set up by the movie? You don’t get that. You do get multiple scenes of prolonged explosions, though.  It blows my mind how many good movies could’ve been made for the cost of this film by independent film makers.  The visuals are good, but hardly the jaw dropping ‘I want to kill myself because I don’t live on Pandora’ of the first one. There is something to be said for the movie in depicting sci-fi’d earth cultures not usually shown in big movies. That is something I do love about it, but a lot of the culture was very surface level, and I wish I had more time to learn about it and enjoy it but the action took precedence over the heart of the tale.  I wanted to love it. I didn’t. I haven’t had the thought ‘I hope this movie ends soon...’ in a long time. 

[darkerknowledge]

goose-flavored aarakocra zealot barbarian that’s it, that’s the post

[theprettychoice-deactivated2015]

“Alexandria’s Genesis, a.k.a violet eyes (a genetic mutation).

When someone is born with Alexandria’s Genesis, their eyes are blue or gray at birth. After six months, the eyes begin to change from their original color to purple, and this process lasts six months. During puberty, the color deepens to dark purple, a deep purple, a royal purple, or a violet-blue color and remains that way. It does not affect the person’s eyesight. Those who have this mutation will never grow any facial, body, pubic, or anal hair (not including hair on their head, on their ears, noses, eyebrows and eyelashes). Women also do not menstruate, but are fertile”

[lmprovident-blog]

NO FUCKING SHAVING

NO FUCKING PERIODS

AND I GET PURPLE EYES

WHY THE FUCK WASN’T I BORN WITH THIS

FUCK WHY CAN I HAVE THIS

[heritageposts]

date of origin: 2013

[darkerknowledge]

low fantasy will be like “War’s gritty and brutal. Been fighting for all me life, now I’m dyin’ not a hero but an idiot who got shit in his wound. Infection’s gonna get me. Not even a wizard would be able to help but none are left now after the great Wizard Wars...which sounds way more interesting than me dyin’...of a shit-wound for the next 12 chapters”

[darkerknowledge]

If you’re the type of person in a relationship who asks stuff like ‘would you love me if I was a worm?’ then you should probably date a DM.  For example, if you ask a non-DM that question you’ll get something like “this is a trap question” or “yeah, of course” or whatever which isn’t very satisfying?  However, as a DM, if my partner asked me “would you love me if I was a worm” I’d be like “Well, were you turned into a worm by an evil wizard?” And they were like “Well, I guess...” then I’d be like “Well, then I’d learn magic and turn you back from your worm form and then teach you magic so we can kick that evil wizard’s ass.”