ZWEIHANDER USERS ONLY!!!!

kneel wretch. or dont. idgaf.

[darkknightposting]

i ate a sandwich so good hope returned to my withered soul

[darkknightposting]

milord watch me throw it back [loud obnoxious metallic clattering]

[darkknightposting]

smearing blood and viscera once a day on my armor counts as skincare

[darkknightposting]

"doomed by the narrative"... pff. i was cursed by the narrative. whcih is cooler. and sexier.

[darkknightposting]

the latest trend for cursed beings of the dark wastelands includes oiling up that fat cock and bouncing on it freak style

[darkknightposting]

absolutely swordmogging this paladin

[darkknightposting]

some paladin called me an oathbreaker as if he isnt a lightwashed dark knight with a dinner plate and a butterknife. get a real weapon you wretch

[darkknightposting]

The Knights of the Pound Table are looking for a big strong warrior to pull the Sexcaliber from the rock hard stone. that thing is balls deep in there and only the sexiest and sluttiest knight can pull it out before- okay i cant do this anymore. just jerk me off

[darkknightposting]

ppl always assume that when i say my sword is huge that i mean my penis. no. man. my penis fell off i just use a zweihander to cleave people in twain

[darkknightposting]

going to open my evil wizard master's book of spells so i can secretly learn magic, wish me luck

[darkknightposting]

an abnormal amount of people have wished a "happy pride" and i have no idea why. am i prideful? maybe this is the sin i am being punished for- no? it is a way to celebrate being queer? pray tell me what is so queer about me...

[darkknightposting]

shitttttt theres gonna be an evil magic war and my side is led by an old withered scholar that doesnt even wear shoes. one of the enemy factions is led by a witch queen that specializes in turning people inside out. we're so fucked man

[darkknightposting]

My soul is a tar pit, a bog of misery. It pulls others down into it, few escaping its insistent grasp. My heart, buried deep in this selfdestructive muck, yearns for another, desperately attempting to swim to the surface, bogged down again and again. The more I push others away, the more lonely I get. A cycle meant to punish those already hurt by others.

[darkknightposting]

my evil wizard master just appointed me the minister of misery. not because i make others miserable but because there truly is no one more miserable than i.

[darkknightposting]

hey wanna go to the marsh of misery later? i heard the muck is especially pitch black this time of year

[darkknightposting]

hey so ive been kinda busy spreading the darkness like a plague throughout the realm so dont act all butthurt about how i dont text back

[darkknightposting]

pitiful wretch, you will kneel to my superior pussy game