The mess I call me

If my you think my blog is disorganized, you should see my life.

[darklydreamingashley]

Does anyone have any experience with the Weight Watchers Freestyle, combo or digital type? I’m looking to talk to someone who has done it or is doing it currently and just what their thoughts are. I’m afraid to do it and have it screw up my already semi-complicated relationship with food or that after I’ve lost the weight it will come right back.

[drakomalfoyyy-deactivated202006]

what do u mean i don’t have a social life I just went grocery shopping with my mom

[woman-eternal]

me irl

[glompcat]

It’s a minor pet peeve, but it is everywhere today so errrr…. please keep in mind that “Rest in Peace”/RIP literally comes from a latin phrase and is a very very deeply Christian expression.

When talking about the departed, Jews say “may their memory be a blessing.”

So please, when talking about a dead person who is Jewish, try to keep in mind that RIP is a Christian phrase.

[meggory84]

I learned something today, so I’ll pass it on so someone else can learn too

[darklydreamingashley]

Happy place

It’s late in the day, I’m alone in my living room with a glass of wine, a cup of hot cocoa. There’s a movie on TV, that I’m not paying much attention to. I’m armed with my laptop and weighted blanket. I’ve got a fresh tattoo of something I love and I am... content.

Content like a cat snuggled up by the window as the summer sun beams through. 

Nano is coming up. I am preparing. I am content.

[darklydreamingashley]

Self care tips?

I’m in serious need of some self care/sensory soothing activities.

I’m extremely restless about getting back to school, to the point of anxiety. I’m not nervous about going or anything. It’s just I’ve done nothing for four months and I need to get back.

It’s made me more sensitive to stimuli and just feel overwhelmed from a sensory perspective.

What do you recommend?

[thesnadger]

Since once in a blue moon I actually discover a decent rule for adulting, and since I know I have followers a few years younger than me who are just entering the workforce, I want to tell you about a very important phrase. 

“I won’t be available.”

Imagine you’re at work and your boss asks you to come in on Saturday. Saturday is usually your day off–coming in Saturdays is not an obligation to keep your job. Maybe you were going to watch a movie with a friend, or maybe you were just going to lie in bed and eat ice cream for eight hours, but either way you really, really don’t want to give up your day off.

If you consider yourself a millennial you’ve probably been raised to believe you need to justify not being constantly at work. And if you’re a gen-Z kid you’re likely getting the same toxic messages that we did. So in a situation like that, you might be inclined to do one of three things:

Tell your boss you’d rather not give up your day off. Cave when they pressure you to come in anyway, since you’re not doing anything important.

Tell your boss you’d rather not give up your day off. Over-apologize and worry that you looked bad/unprofessional.

Lie and say you’ve got a doctor’s appointment or some other activity that feels like an adequate justification for not working.

The fact is, it doesn’t matter to your boss whether you’re having open heart surgery or watching anime in your underwear on Saturday. The only thing that affects them is the fact that you won’t be at work. So telling them why you won’t be at work only gives them reason to try and pressure you to come in anyway.

If you say “I won’t be available,” giving no further information, you’d be surprised how often that’s enough. Be polite and sympathetic in your tone, maybe even say “sorry, but I won’t be available.” But don’t make an excuse. If your boss is a professional individual, they’ll accept that as a ‘no’ and try to find someone else. 

But bosses aren’t always professional. Sometimes they’re whiny little tyrants. So, what if they pressure you further? The answer is–politely and sympathetically give them no further information.

“Are you sure you’re not available?” “Sorry, but yes.”

“Why won’t you be available?” “I have a prior commitment.” (Which you do, even if it’s only to yourself.)

“What’s your prior commitment?” “Sorry, but that’s kind of personal.”

“Can you reschedule it?” “I’m afraid not. Maybe someone else can come in?”

If you don’t give them anything to work with, they can’t pressure you into going beyond your obligations as an employee. And when they realize that, they’ll also realize they have to find someone else to come in and move on.

[yournewapartment]

IMPORTANT!! PLEASE READ!!

[kagetsukai]

Just like with many other parts of life, learn to say ‘no’ to people. You are important. Don’t kill yourself for another person, esp. if they are your boss.

[spacelesbians-archive-deactivat]

When a project is due and you have no executive function but are also terrified of failure

[lavendersucculents]

When you guys have visited potential apartments, what kind of questions did you ask besides the basics like what rent and utilities include?

[dynastylnoire]

Here are questions I didn’t ask but should have: what does the basement look like?

What measures are taken to secure the building ?

Are the walls thin? Brief info of who lives in the building. Are they college kids? People that work through the day? Elderly? Is it a mix? Where does the garbage go?

Can I pay rent bi-weekly? What kind of fuses does the apartment use? (My fuse box is in the basement. If I blow a fuse I have to replace it myself. They screw until the box. All of which I didn’t know until it happend and I was sitting in the dark suddenly)

[audreynical2]

Who do I call for repairs? (If it’s a private rental) Am I allowed to paint the walls? Is there any additional storage? Do you do regular pest control?

[werewolfau-deactivated20180321]

count the outlets, ask about recycling policies, ask if there’s a noise restriction (nothing loud after midnight, everything goes on the weekend, etc)

LAUNDRY FACILITIES Definitely ask about security Whether subletting is allowed (esp if you’re in college and might want to sublet for the summer) If you have a car, whether there’s parking/how much it costs What kind of heating/AC there is Procedure/response time for any maintenance How mail/packages are received/protected from theft (seriously people stealing your packages can be a huge problem) What kind of verification of your salary will they want, and in what circumstances will they accept a guarantor instead? Whether the apartment is furnished

Assuming you are in the middle of looking at/choosing between places: When does the lease start? Are you going to give preference to people based on when they can move in? Whether groups of a certain number of people get preference Really anything about who they prioritize for applications, it can save you a lot of trouble in trying to apply to places you’ll never get into

[gizkasparadise]

not something for asking the realtors, necessarily, but important rights you should be aware of as a tenant:

when and for what reasons are your landlords allowed to enter your home? how much of a notice should they give you before entering?

can the landlord make modifications to your home or apartment without your approval? to what extent?

what are the options and conditions for breaking your lease early if there’s an emergency? (this is ESPECIALLY important for anyone moving to a new state/considerable distance where you are not able to visit the apartment/home before you rent – students get taken advantage of ALL THE TIME with this shit)

if your first or last month at the property is a partial stay (i.e. you move in on july 15th, and rent is typically due on the first) make sure you don’t pay the full first month’s rent before you know the area laws! in many states, you are only legally required to pay for the time you are occupying the property

is renter’s insurance necessary? many apartments want at least 30k coverage, which can run a couple hundred dollars extra per year

are the landlords/property management liable for crimes on the property? for example, if your car was broken into. if not GET RENTER’S INSURANCE

[lmaodies]

-ask if there’s any property upkeep you can do to get a bit off the rent (aka, can they take 100$ off the monthly rent if you maintain the lawns/garden, etc.) 

-ask if there’s been any consistent/frequent trouble with electricity/internet connectivity/cable if you have it

-what KIND of electricity? 

-what kind of heating (hot water/electric)

-how secure is the neighborhood (if you don’t know) 

-ANY PLUMBING ISSUES? check ALL the fucking taps, the showers, EVERYTHING WITH WATER to make sure it all works right. 

[seagodofmagic]

-ANY PLUMBING ISSUES? check ALL the fucking taps, the showers, EVERYTHING WITH WATER to make sure it all works right. 

I CANNOT SECOND THIS ENOUGH.

[remisstoreality]

ALSO

- who last lived here? why did they leave?

[jenniferrpovey]

- Do they charge an “amenities fee” (Around here you can’t avoid them at all now, but some places you might still be able to)

- Do they have a policy on rent increases? (Also check if there’s a legal limit to rent increases in the area).

- Are utilities paid in a separate check or with the rent?

- Are utilities metered or pro-rated (in older buildings it’s common to be charged by square footage and/or number of occupants, which can leave you subsidizing the people who turn the a/c down to 60 in the summer or the heat up to 80 in the winter - you may not be able to avoid this but it’s worth trying).

- Are there any switched circuits in the apartment. Buildings built in the late sixties through the early eighties often have switched circuits. If they do, then with the number of devices used these days you will probably have to have something important on the switched circuit - tape the switch in the on position! (Trust me).

- What are the rules on hanging pictures?

- Who is responsible for paying for and replacing bulbs in permanent fixtures? If it’s you and there’s a fixture with weird/unusual bulbs (globe style, chandelier style, etc) ask where you can buy the bulbs.

- What are the rules about pets? Do they have breed specific restrictions on dogs? Size restrictions on fish tanks? (Believe it or not that’s not uncommon).

[crimeshetyped]

This will be so useful once my lease is up thanks tumblr ☺️🙏🏾

[kittleimp]

If you have roommates, even if they’re your friends, ask what happens if one person moves out. Who is responsible for their rent? What about security deposit, how much is it and what do you have to do to document existing damages before you move in?

[cappurrccino]

- It’s boring as hell, but read the lease before you sign it! Ask questions and clarify anything you notice that seems weird or that you don’t understand. I had a landlord that required I get the carpets professionally steam cleaned (which I didn’t realize until we were moving out because I didn’t read the entire lease) and another that tried to keep part of my security deposit because I didn’t pay for professional cleaning, but we got the money back because it wasn’t part of their lease that we’d signed.

- Take pictures/make detailed notes about damages already present on move-in. Add additional sheets to what they give you if needed because chances are they’re going to be just as nitpicky when you move out to try and keep part of your security deposit.

- An addition to the hanging pictures - ask what they allow you to use (nails/screws or tape only) and whether they want you to repair the holes to keep part of your deposit. If you’re planning to wall mount your TV, ask specifically about using molly bolts because they’re going to leave a much larger hole than a picture nail.

[thepiscesactor-deactivated20121]

Just an experiment. Reblog if you actually give a fuck about male victims of domestic violence and rape.

[minotaursauce]

Of fucking course

What sick bastard doesn’t

[xaldien]

“You’d be surprised”, said Xaldien, who just lost four followers and received a lovely “men can’t be raped” anon shortly after reblogging this the first time.

[minotaursauce]

Yowch, disgusting.

[samuraiko]

If I don’t reblog this, assume I’m dead.

[glory-of-hera-blog]

Always reblog this

[nygmobblepot-der-pool-deactivat]

If you Dont reblog this if u see it then i cant call u my friend

[witchofthefuture]

IF ANYONE TELLS ME THAT MEN CAN’T BE VICTIMS OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AND RAPE, I AM SICKENED BY THEIR MERE PRESENCE ON MY BLOG.

If you disagree with me, unfollow my blog, block me and never look at my blog again.

If you want to debate about this or send anon’s about this, I will reply but your actions have consequences.

[witchofthefuture]

Out of 19000+ followers I have, only one of you actually reblogged about this issue, yet a lot of you have reblogged and liked a picture by playboy about catcalling and that how men should never do it.

Additionally, I have received abuse in my ask box (which I will be answering when I can) and threats. In particular death threats and rape threats.

I can see the real problem here already. Male domestic violence and rape is just invisible in our society because we don’t want to talk about this because it just damages the status quo of this fucking website.

[tarothy-deactivated20230301]

I’m a male victim of child sexual abuse. We matter. Please, reblog this.

[happerbunny-deactivated20211002]

Please never forget male victims are real and it can happen to everyone/anyone

[brightb-vt]

Make sure the romance is there on both sides people

[this-account-is-dead-ya-noobs-d]

Support our men! These victims experiences are real and valid!

[i-thought-you-and-i]

Men need our protection too!

[glitchmoose]

STOP THE SILENCE. REBLOG FOREVER.

[richoezier-deactivated20180123]

For as long as this reappears on my dash, I’m going to reblog it

[ddevills]

please rb…

[pixelz01-deactivated20250413]

*breaks reblog button*

[dionysus-is-my-dude]

I may have issues with guys, but none of you deserve domestic abuse or to be raped

[thedyke]

also i literally do not care whether you prefer pads or tampons but the fact that in almost every situation where free period supplies are available, they’re tampons, and this is just assumed to be fine (or people like campaigning for “free tampons” rather than “free menstrual products”) upsets me bc there are a lot of people who use pads who cannot use tampons and i don’t understand why tampons are considered not just the default but the only option worth mentioning

[thedyke]

like i’ve never been able to use a tampon comfortably and functionally. there are plenty of people who cannot use tampons or prefer not to use them, and they require a good amount of education to be used safely. that’s not to say that tampons shouldn’t be provided but that we shouldn’t be forcing people to use them bc they’re all that is offered

[shescosmic-deactivated20191031]

“Forgive yourself for not knowing what you didn’t know before you learned it.”

— Maya Angelou  (via wordsnquotes)

[it-giirl]

I don’t NEED a relationship, I WANT one . Like I’m not looking for no one to complete me or make me whole or whatever . I just wanna fall deeply and unbelievably in love with someone . I want someone to never stop choosing me and actually try with me . I want affection and intimacy with someone I trust with my whole heart . I wanna experience something real for once .

[disgoth-deactivated20180319]

the only thing i knew about sex at the age of nine was that

1) it was for mommies and daddies who were married;

2) it made me, my five year old sister, and my baby brother.

i learned everything i knew about sex from the internet while secretly browsing grownup sites on my 4th generation ipod touch i earned for doing so well at a piano recital. because of the nature of, you know, men and their internet porn, i learned that my sexual role as a woman was to be slapped and pissed on and tied up. i didn’t know what healthy sex was. i didn’t know it should be mutually consensual, or that it was okay to want sex with girls. i didn’t know that sex should be good for both people. i learned that sex would hurt, and that sex was about men and men only, and that i would be forced into sex whether i liked it or not, and that it was normal to have sex with big, burly, grown men as a teenager. i learned it was normal to cry during sex. i was scared of sex for so many years because of that, and the way i was exposed to sex at a young age led to the inappropriate and traumatic sexual encounters i had (occasionally with older people) later on in my teen years.

the day i got my first period, i was ten-and-a-half. i was swimming in the river with my best friend, and when i got out to go to the bathroom, i noticed brown blood on the inside of my mint-green tankini bottom. i knew what a period was, but i hid it from my mother in shame. she found out, eventually, of course. she told me, you have a woman’s body now, and if you have sex, you could have a baby. all i heard was, you have a woman’s body.

i started shaving my vulva when i was eleven, because i saw memes on memegenerator about how disgusting “hairy pussy” was. i wanted to be sexy. i was eleven years old, and all i wanted was to be sexy. it hurt, and it itched, and it made me uncomfortable, and i’d sometimes nick my labia with the razor, but i did it anyway, because i didn’t want to have a nasty, “hairy pussy.”

eleven was the age i first started getting pinched on the EL. i was an early bloomer: i had B-cup breasts already, and my menstrual cycle was regular enough that i could keep a calendar. i started wearing a full face of makeup to school and buying shorts that rode all the way up my skinny twelve-year-old thighs. i remember the day i stopped jumping off the swings the summer after fifth grade. skinned knees weren’t sexy. smooth, flawless legs were sexy, and i was a sexy girl. i was probably the sexiest little girl in the whole world. my parents hated it. they told me i was too young, but i knew the truth. my body was older, maybe 17 or 18, so my brain must be, too.

when i was twelve, i had a secret kik account that my parents didn’t know about. i used it to message strangers. i made all sorts of friends. i wasn’t stupid. i used a fake name. never showed my face. one of my friends asked me for a bra picture. i was a cool girl, right, i was sexy, so i sent him a picture of me in front of my bedroom mirror in my little white training bra with the blue butterflies.

sexy, he said.

that was all i wanted.

i’m not typing out all this bullshit because i think it’s something special. i’m typing it out because it’s not. i’m typing it out because i see the same thing happening to my little sister. i’m typing it out because i see the same thing happening to that little millie bobbie brown, sexiest actress at thirteen. i’m typing it out because i’m sixteen years old now, a girl in the eyes of the law and a woman in the eyes of men.

mothers, talk to your daughters. tell them to jump off the swingset and skin their knees. tell them to get dirt on their dresses. tell them that they’re a woman on their 18th birthday, not at ten-and-a-half on the first day of their menstrual cycle. the world is confused. the world is sick. if your daughters don’t hear about how to treat their bodies from you, they’ll hear it from the sick, sick world, and they’ll do the things i did.

let girls be girls.

don’t force womanhood on little girls.

[disgoth-deactivated20180319]

i encourage men to reblog this post

[cheezwhiz666]

I encourage everyone to reblog this post

[sherlockwolf]

I encourage everyone to call out others who enforce womanhood on children.

[darklydreamingashley]

These are the time I hate most.

I hate when it’s late at night and I’m alone listening to music and I’m angry or frustrated or worried or lonely and I so desperately want to talk to someone, but I have no one. 

I don’t mean that in I don’t have any good friends. I don’t mean that in I don’t have anyone with me right now. I don’t mean it in just like a self-depreciating way. 

I mean it. I have no one. Because even TV characters and guys from bands can only do so much. I have absolutely no one and I never realized I was the problem till now.

I have no friends. No job. No goals. No aspirations. Nothing. Fuck man and you know I’m grateful for the fact that I can write and I have internet and I have Netflix and I have all the things to be thankful for, but fuck man, is too much to ask to have some decent friends.

[ouc-h-deactivated20180811]

im lacking vitamin A (Attention)

[evil-britney]

*takes off my leather jacket to reveal a second, secret leather jacket underneath*

[sounddesignerjeans-deactivated2]

you mean, skin?

[degenerate-perturbation]

What an absolutely terrifying addition to my post. Thank you.

[gothicprep]

[darklydreamingashley]

Always Pablo