Chapter Six Clarity (Bonten Sanzu)
Minors do not interact 18+ fic
Warnings: Mentions of Controlled Substances, Coercion, Manipulation, Profanity, possibly more that I forgot to mention.
Flashbacks are in pink text!
For the first time since heād spoken to her the day prior, she was the furthest thing from being flustered from his words, a purse on her lips and her hands on her hips, her neck craned back to stare up at her patient, her expression nonnegotiable.
āTwo.ā She repeated, her tone expressing that she absolutely refused to budge; his lips were pressed into a thin line, that displeased look sheād grown accustomed to seeing over the last few days theyād been together was still going strong, regardless of her trying to put her foot down with him.
āFour.ā He retorted lowly, his voice teetering on exasperation; she shook her head, absolutely not.
āYouāll overdose, no.ā she reasoned, stating the truth; she was the medical professional here, heād overdose if she gave him four pills three separate times a day, this was heavy duty stuff. āTwo now, you can have another dose in six hours.ā
āTwenty milligrams is nothing.ā He argued, sounding irritated; she couldāve scoffed, the opioid was stronger than morphine in some cases, he didnāt need to be teetering on the brink of death right after sheād saved his life and regardless of how aggravated he was with her, she wasnāt going to bargain about this.Ā
āYou canāt have more than sixty in a day; it could kill you.ā She explained, her voice matter of fact; if heād just take the pills and wait for them to kick in, heād see that she wasnāt joking around about how strong they were, and itād stop him from demanding a larger dose next time.
āIsnāt a factor.ā She interrupted, her voice swapping to stern; if he was really going to continue to press her about this then sheād only give him one, he didnāt want to test her when it came to narcotics. āTwenty milligrams, two pills every six hours.ā
āYou wanna make it one?ā the woman asked, her tone warning; despite how soft her features usually were, her gaze was hardened, proving that she meant business.
She was sure he was questioning why he hadnāt snapped her neck back at the clinic, he was positively fuming over her refusal to give him what he wanted and even if he debated on doing so now it wouldnāt do anything to help him. All those pills were locked up in her safe, the combination only accessible in her mind and sheād made sure not to open it when he was around, she was glad for that now because he surely wouldāve taken too many pills if he had access to them. A quiet squeak left her in surprise when the palm of his hand slapped against the wall right next to her head, stepping so close that there wasnāt even a foot worth of space separating them, her heart going into overdrive from the way he was looming over her. Her mouth felt thick with spit the instant his free hand reached towards her throat and although sheād been sure he was about to strangle the life out of her, his fingers hooked under her chin instead, urging her to meet his piercing eyes. Remembering how to breathe was proving to be a challenge, the intensity of his stare had her shifting her weight from one foot to the other, trying her utmost hardest to ignore the slick that had settled in her panties; if he thought he could seduce her into giving him what he wanted then he had another thing coming because she definitely wasnāt going to-
There was no question the thought was in his head, the way his aquamarine pools were raking over her from head to toe told her as much, whether it was simply out of wanting to get his way, she couldnāt be entirely sure considering the number of times his stare had roamed her form. He was entirely aware of the effect he had on her, being high hadnāt blinded him to it from the get-go because although his cognitive function was impaired then, he functioned much better than most people. It seemed that she was dealing with a person that either abused drugs or had chronic pain to the point that he had regular prescriptions to manage it, she wasnāt going to judge him by assuming one or the other. During the moments he was high, he was still capable of holding his composure, never slurring his words or talking so fast that it was obvious; he wouldāve come off completely sober if it werenāt for his pupils dilating. Heād even been capable of retaining full memories during those moments, he could pay attention if it was something he was interested in observing and he remembered much more than sheād anticipated; some of the things heād made comments about had surprised her, like the name of her secretary, heād learned it when sheād been on that phone call. She couldnāt put it passed him not to know just how attracted she was to him, not only was he observant but she couldnāt hide it to save her life. He was going to try to use that to his advantage to persuade her to relent to whatever it was that he wanted in the moment, and heād gone as far to test it last night after they had settled in.
Ā Yuki had never been more thankful for hot water than she was tonight, sheād felt absolutely disgusting after how long sheād gone without washing her hair and she was going to have to start making a point not to spend more than two nights away from home if she wound up in the zone with her researching; itād taken much too long to both detangle and wash her hair after how many times sheād had to use dry shampoo. A content sigh left her, running the brush through her hair one more time just to ensure sheād gotten all the tangles out before stepping out of the adjoining bathroom, it would take forever for her hair dry with the length of it, but it wasnāt so damp that sheād soak her pillow should she lay down for bed in the next few minutes. Itād been a long day and the only things that she had left to do were give her patient that last shot of morphine, remove the IV, clean the area, slap a band-aid on it and call it a day. She doubted sheād even hear Kuro running the halls like he usually did in the dead of night with how exhausted she was, her couch in the office may have been her regular sleeping spot but sheād undoubtedly missed her bed.
āJust have to get a few more things done, thatās it.ā
She quickly punched in the code to the safe, opening it up and placed all the prescription bottles in it, easing the door shut until the alert sounded that it was secure again. She didnāt have very many valuable things in her home, mostly documents, but sheād wanted a safe nonetheless. It was helpful when it came to keeping all those pills safe while she was sleeping, she wanted to make sure her patient was educated on just how strong they were before she gave him free reign of them and tonight would not be the night considering he was about to get his last dose of morphine. She carefully removed the syringe from her purse, sliding over to her bedside table to collect what sheād previously gathered up for the IV removal and her lip caught between her teeth when she felt the pads of his fingers lightly graze her neck, easing her hair off to the side, the other hand pressing against her hip. There wasnāt a doubt in her mind that this man knew what he was doing, disregarding that he hadnāt even bothered to knock or announce his presence, he didnāt seem to care if she wanted personal space or not; she was pleasantly surprised at how many times heād reached out to her today but that wasnāt the point.
The white-headed woman didnāt, had it been anyone else then absolutely, but it wasnāt, it was him and whatever it was about him that had ensnared her, it hadnāt just up and disappeared. The reactions she had to his touch were something sheād never experienced before him, she may have never dated but he hadnāt been the first man sheād ever admired, what sheād felt towards all of them combined was nothing in retrospect to the pink-haired male. Sheād been on that page for a few days, but it hadnāt completely sunk in until now, becoming abundantly clear no sooner did her heart start fluttering, his chest lightly brushing against her upper back, fingertips softly caressing her hip, the other hand sliding her white locks off to the side. She bit harder into her lip when his cheek pressed against the side of her head, the warm breath in her ear sending a shiver through her; she didnāt think she had the courage to look at him even though he was most certainly looking at her.
āDoctor.ā He murmured; her face burned hotter in response, the way he continued saying her professional title was the definition of teasing and it didnāt take a genius to come to the conclusion that it was his intention, he was trying to embarrass her.
āSlow breathes, calm down.ā
āY-you donāt have to keep calling me that.ā She mumbled, her voice filled with shyness; it took every ounce of willpower she possessed not to shift around in his hold over the soft hum he let out while squeezing her hip lightly, her knees centimeters from knocking together. āYukiās fine.ā
As informal as it was considering they didnāt know anything about each other, she honestly just wanted to hear how her name would sound when it rolled off his tongue, she knew she had to of been thinking like a creep at this point. She was just setting herself up for disappointment, heād go back to his regular life and getting attached to someone that she knew sheād never see again wasnāt a smart move on her part, unrealistic expectations that she set would end in heartbreak. The things her friends had regularly told her over the years were starting to make sense, if she wouldāve dated long before now, even just casually, she wouldnāt have swooned over him as quickly as she had. All these small things that he was doing wouldnāt have gotten to her so easily, her heart skipped simply over him looking at her, sheād forget how to breathe just from his hand on her hip, hearing his voice drenched her panties and sheād internally begged more than a few times that heād kiss her; she shouldnāt have been getting so worked up over nothing.
She needed to pull herself together, she didnāt want to come off as desperate, but it was hard to maintain that mindset when she was looking at him, he was beautiful, and the deepness of his stare always entranced her. She couldnāt even remember what her dream guy had looked like after seeing him because it certainly had become the man currently touching her, everything about him was flawless. His rosy-pink locks that fell well below his shoulders, his aquamarine eyes that practically pierced her soul, the four small black hoops on each of his ears, the diamonds at the corners of his mouth, the gentle way heād squeeze her hip or carefully brush strands of white from her face, the intense way he watched her as though she were the only person in the room (even though she technically had been); sheād swooned long before now. The doctor managed to put the syringe down in the nick of time, she surely wouldāve dropped it with the way his hand slid across her belly to her other hip, locking around her middle. She almost swallowed her tongue when he fully snuggled up against her back with his lips hovered at her ear, his free hand sweeping snow-colored strands over her shoulder.
āYouāre my doctor, arenāt you?ā he whispered directly into her ear, his tone sensual; warmth had settled between her thighs in response and her knees were almost going weak from his voice alone, her tongue felt much too heavy to form any words.
āHeās trying to give me a heart attack.ā
āI want to be close to you, Doctor.ā He followed up, his voice implying; her breath hitched when his arm squeezed around her belly lightly, her cheeks flushing darker when his free arm joined the other, his face moving into her neck. āYouāll let me sleep next to you, right?ā
If he hadnāt been before, there was no doubt that he indisputably was trying to give her a heart attack now with a request like that, her heart was threatening to go into overdrive from nerves alone and she almost felt at a point of overheating simply from how hot her face felt. Her ears were burning in embarrassment, her mind conjuring up a number of scenarios all in a span of three seconds and not a one of them were anything close to PG, she hadnāt even had her first kiss yet so how would she manage to sleep next to a man without having a panic attack, let alone the perfect one latched onto her? She didnāt think her face could flush any darker, sheād never anticipated anything close to this when sheād decided that taking the precaution to go to her house rather than staying at the clinic would be for the best. He just continued throwing her for a loop, sheād never imagined heād warm up to her so quickly and regardless of the fact that he was teasing her for all its worth, she couldnāt find it in herself to make attempts to shut it down.
āO-okay.ā She mumbled, her voice bashful; another quiet hum left him, seeming pleased that sheād folded so easily to what he wanted without a fight.
Yuki wiggled around in his grasp until his hold on her loosened just enough that she could turn to face him, his arms still wrapped loosely around her waist and making no movement to fully release her. Despite the red hue on her cheeks, she placed her hand lightly against his shoulder and the other against his chest, avoiding touching any of the areas heād been shot, craning her neck back to lock eyes with him.
āYou need to sit down so I can give you this last dose.ā The woman urged gently; his head cocked to the side with interest, his aquamarine pools holding her lavender ones. āI need to remove the IV when weāre done.ā
He was silently questioning her, she could see it in the way he was looking at her and if she didnāt clear things up for him now, she had a feeling he wouldnāt make things easy for her, heād think she was trying to cut him off when that wasnāt it whatsoever.
āIām replacing the morphine with something else; I know youāre still in pain.ā She continued with compassion; she didnāt want to invalidate his feelings because although heād moved around more than sheād ever anticipated he would at this point, she could see from his expressions that it wasnāt without significant trouble, he was pushing himself to. āI want to start you on it while youāre with me, so youāll be used to it by Monday.ā
She could tell that as much as he didnāt like it, he did understand on some level why he couldnāt be on the morphine any longer, and she was thankful that she wasnāt going to have to go into a big spiel about why it wasnāt for long term use, the dependency it could cause, etcetera; he was smart enough to know that he had to use something else for pain management. He was obviously reluctant to agree but gave a short nod regardless, his arms never slipping from her waist as he maneuvered the two of them around until he was able to take a seat on the edge of the bed, pulling her to stand between his legs. Her cheeks went warm all over again over how close they were and being face to face with him was more impactful than sheād thought it would be, they were around the same height now and she could see details about him that sheād missed before; his nose was cute. Her patient seemed to be on the same page as herself in some respect, his gaze focused solely on her face, taking in her features, studying her with the utmost dedication; it was almost as though they were seeing each other for the first time all over again. She couldāve gotten lost staring at him, and she almost had up until one of his hands left her waist, her eyes pulling from his to pay attention to her movements while she grabbed the syringe, uncapping the needle end.
Her persona swapped to professional without so much as thinking about it, holding total composure while she injected the opiate into the IV, effect was immediate just as it always was, his arm relaxing around her just enough that she knew it was working. She made quick work of removing it from his hand, going about the aftercare meticulously and covered the site to protect it during the healing process, he hadnāt so much as flinched the whole time sheād gone about the process from start to finish.
āFinished.ā She commented; a pleasant hum left him in acknowledgement, her doe eyes quickly finding his when he tugged at her waist with just enough strength that she was pressed flush against him.
āLay down then.ā He followed up easily; his tone told her that arguing against it would do her no good, he wasnāt going to budge about wanting her right next to him. āI donāt want to make you, youāre a delicate thing, Doctor.ā
Yuki nodded without argument, unable to hide just how flustered she felt as she climbed up onto the mattress after switching off the lights, following his own movements as he made room for her and laid down on her side facing him. A quiet scoff left him in displeasure, it was indefinitely over how much space sheād left between them, but she didnāt get a chance to say anything before he latched onto her waist and drug her across the sheets until there wasnāt an inch of space between them. Her pulse was racing all over again over his boldness, high or not, he hadnāt been fooling around about wanting to be close to her and as high of a priority as figuring out what it meant was on her list, itād have to wait until tomorrow.
āUmā¦goodnightā¦ā she began with uncertainty; sheād figured itād be uncomfortable to some extent and the lack thereof was strange in of itself, she felt entirely thrown off from how natural it felt.
āGo to sleep.ā He muttered unenthusiastically; she sealed her lips, nodding into his chest, his hold on her was so secure that she wouldnāt be able to slip away from him should she want to and trying to argue with him about how he needed space so she didnāt unknowingly brush up against any of the incision sites wouldnāt go over well.
Exhausted was the more appropriate term, she was sure sheād manage eight hours at the least tonight and if she was lucky-
Her eyes fluttered open at the sound of his voice, her lips parting in confusion.
āWhat?ā she asked softly; the word came out before she had time to think about the best way to respond, a heavy sigh coming from her companion over her question.Ā
āNot repeating myself.ā He mumbled with a grunt, his voice slightly annoyed; she sealed her lips all over again, her body going limp in his hold when his free hand moved to petting her hair. āGo to sleep, Doctor.ā
She took a small step back without so much as thinking about it, another squeak leaving her when her back bumped the wall and his eyes practically lit up with amusement when pink returned to her cheeks the second his thumb traced her bottom lip. The doctor was indisputably at a rock in a hard place, she couldnāt pull herself together when he was so close to her nor could she screw her head on straight long enough to create distance so she could think, heād only blocked off one side so if she really wanted to, she could slip away from him. She looked up through her lashes to find him staring at her so intensely she couldāve forgotten who she was, his eyes were mesmerizing and as hard of a time as she had maintaining eye contact with him, she continued trying her best to hold it for as long as she could, his eyes were her favorite thing about him. The thought of creating distance disappeared no sooner did it show up, sheād blanked all over again just from staring at him too long, standing her ground against him was looking like a pipedream since she just continued losing her train of thought and the like from that alone.Ā
āDoctor.ā The pink-haired man drawled playfully, his voice coming out lowly; her face flushed hotter, he was hovering closer to her, his gaze zeroed in on her lips, strands of pink slipping over his shoulders and lightly brushing the sides of her face the closer he got.
āDonāt cave, be strong, donāt cave!ā
āN-no, two, only two.ā She stammered anxiously; her words didnāt seem to even faze him, a smirk forming on his lips when she batted his hand away from her chin, only for it to slip around to press against the small of her back and tug her right up against him.
She couldnāt fold, no matter how flustered she felt nor how close he was to giving her what would be her very first kiss, she couldnāt give in to what he wanted, and sheĀ wouldnāt; heād overdose and likely die if she gave him forty milligrams in one go. He wasnāt going to give up though, she could see that he was just as stubborn as she herself could be and the only way that she was going to be able to get him to drop it was if she offered some kind of compromise. He was much too determined to get his way so regardless of how dangerous it could be, it was the only thing that she could do, she wouldnāt have to follow through with it once he realized that she wasnāt trying to short him pain relief once the pills kicked in. She just had to word things carefully, make no promises so he couldnāt claim that sheād lied to him once he wasnāt on another planet because he most certainly would be in the next half hour after he took the pills. Her pulse was racing at the feeling of being pressed against him, the blush on her cheeks darkening shade by shade the closer he inched towards her lips, her free hand moving of its own volition to tangle in his shirt, the other resting at his shoulder.
āHaruchiyo.ā She spoke, her voice barely above a whisper; his aquamarine orbs were gleaming as he took her in, seeming all too pleased at how close she looked to giving into him.
āYes, Doctor?ā he responded with a hum; she felt like sheād gone completely stupid simply over his hand leaving the wall to cradle her head, white slipping through his fingers as he guided her face closer to his.
āY-you shouldnāt, we sh-shouldnāt.ā she began, her tone anxious; she didnāt know why sheād even bothered speaking words of resistance, heād made it perfectly clear that he wasnāt going to stop just because it stepped outside of the doctor-patient relationship dynamic.
āWe shouldnāt.ā he repeated quietly, sounding entirely collected; despite agreeing with her, he hadnāt stopped closing the distance, so she knew for a fact that he didĀ notĀ care about trying to maintain whatever professionalism was left between them. āTell me to stop.ā
Yuki was internally screaming at this point and couldāve fainted with how lightheaded she felt, there was no way she could face that challenge head-on nor come out of it victorious if she tried her hardest, it was taking every ounce of her willpower to resist temptation, his lips were hardly three inches from hers. As unbecoming of her profession as it was, she couldnāt force herself to say no, the line had been blurred to the point that having purely a doctor-patient relationship wasnāt possible anymore because she hadnāt kept a businesslike approach to things. Sheād been too caught up in whatever infatuation she was feeling towards him and hadnāt been able to turn it off, itād practically made all of the decisions for her, and it was why sheād wound up in this mess. She shouldāve called an ambulance as soon as he was stable after surgery, she shouldnāt have hidden his existence by putting off reopening her clinic after the holiday, she shouldāve called the police, she shouldnāt have taken him to her private home, she shouldāve done things as a doctor and instead, sheād done things that a desperate teenage girl with a crush wouldāve done. Sheād opened herself up for this to become what it had and although it was ethically wrong, she was teetering right on the edge of not caring which told her that sheĀ absolutelyneeded to take a step back from this, lest she complicate things further for herself.
āYou canāt, can you?ā he gathered, his voice knowing; the pink on her cheeks spread further across her face, running over her nose and silently answering the question for her.
The white-headed woman wanted to feel ashamed of herself because morally speaking, she shouldāve felt some form of guilt, forming relationships with patients wasnāt the norm and, on some level, she did feel the smallest bit of remorse for crossing lines to some degree. She may not have been the one to initiate that first intimate touch, but she didnāt try to stop it either, sheād reciprocated it which made her just as guilty as him. More than anything, she wanted him to close the distance and kiss her, he was already so close that he could do so with ease, but should that boundary be crossed over, she had no guarantees that it would stop with that. Whatever this was between them had been mutual from the get-go, entirely consensual on both sides, he wanted the same thing as she and the only reason he hadnāt gone there yet was because he was waiting for her to say it, heād pushed her to tell him to stop and she hadnāt. Now, all that was left for him to do was pry the words from her lips and aside from the rough shape he was in, there wouldnāt be anything holding him back.
āW-we shouldnāt.ā she repeated with unease, hinting at just how nervous she felt; his expression didnāt falter, reflecting nothing but confidence as he leaned down closer to her.
āYou already said that, Doctor.ā Haruchiyo pointed out, sounding teasing; she was doing her utmost best to steady her breathes while her fingers curled lightly in his shirt, clinging onto him tighter, his lips were almost brushing hers there was so little space between them. āYou donāt mean it.ā
Heād called her bluff without batting an eye which just proved without a shadow of a doubt that he did see the way she looked at him, but she couldnāt say it aloud, it would only make it more real if she did, meaning it would only hurt more when he left; she didnāt know how sheād managed to get so attached to a total stranger in less than a weekās time. The woman couldnāt manage anything in response, her throat had fully dried up, and her heart doing summersaults over his soft breathes ghosting over her lips, feeling too scatterbrained to do much of anything except hold his intense gaze.
āYou want me to do it for you, huh pretty girl?ā he murmured sensually, his hand slid from the small of her back and wrapped fully around her waist to keep her securely pinned against him.
Her heart straight skipped a beat from his words, her pulse going haywire while she gazed up at him longingly, sheād never felt so overwhelmed by her emotions that she felt lightheaded and that was exactly what heād done to her. The dizzying feeling in her head was only growing stronger the harder she swooned for this man, outside of her friends and her grandmother, no one had ever called her pretty before; she had zero chance to protect herself from heartbreak this far into things, he had her hook line and sinker.
āThatās it, isnāt it?ā the pink-haired male breathed, his voice low; Yuki didnāt realize sheād responded to the question until it was too late to stop herself, a barely audible whimper leaving her lips, silently pleading with him to close the distance. āI will, just give me what I want.ā
āThatās fair, isnāt it Doctor?ā he pressed, sounding agreeable to compromise; she waited patiently for a follow-up from him that would clear things up, a curious look in her lavender orbs as she attempted to bring herself back down to earth long enough to piece things together. āFour.ā
Whatever spell heād cast on her broke in the instant everything connected, her hand pressing against his shoulder to create distance and the other releasing his shirt, a purse forming on her lips while she attempted to slip from his grasp.
āTwo.ā She retorted, her tone adamant; Haruchiyoās persona swapped out just as quickly as her own did, looking infuriated that she was still refusing to budge even with his attempts to sway her with his damn seduction tactics, narcotics were something she didnāt play around with, and she was not going to let him be careless with them.
āIsnāt a factor.ā She repeated, cutting him off before he could argue with her; she didnāt have much of a choice at this point, she had to offer something else to get him to relent and once he realized that she wasnāt playing around about these pills, he wouldnāt bring this up again. āTwo, twenty milligrams every six hours.ā
āMuscle relaxers in between if itās not enough.ā She interrupted, her voice heavily annoyed; his lips pressed into a thin line as he looked down at her, his hand having released her head and grabbed her forearm when sheād begun making attempts to create space, he wasnāt budging about letting her go.Ā
āFine.ā He huffed, sounding entirely reluctant to agree; she herself let out just as huffy of a breath, her soft face the definition of aggravated, sheād just been thinking minutes previously that heād try to seduce her into getting his way, she shouldāve seen it coming before then.
As gentle as she was, she was heavily considering suffocating the man with a pillow the next time he tried to pull something like this on her even though she wouldnāt make it very far with that, heād combat her in a heartbeat, high or not. She shouldāve known better, and sheād walked right into that one, whatever it was that she felt for him was behind the wheel over half the time and it didnāt help anything that in the rare instances when she was capable of holding composure, he could overpower her with ease if he so wanted to. Her patient wasnāt in the best shape and had still managed to pause her movements, his arm wasnāt budging from her waist, and she couldnāt slip her arm out of his iron grip; there was no doubt that heād have no problem snapping her neck or strangling her to death should he choose to.Ā
āI need to get your pills.ā She muttered in response, keeping her eyes low; she needed to be professional about things, no more caving to his charm or those piercing eyes of his, protect herself from the unavoidable heartbreak that would come from not being guarded.Ā
His hand retreated from her forearm, the other stayed wrapped securely around her waist without showing any signs that he was going to release her, and she shoved at his chest weakly, not managing to make him budge an inch. She just may attempt to suffocate him; he was practically rubbing in her face that she couldnāt fight him off if she tried her hardest and something inside her was dangerously close to snapping.
āI need to get your pills.ā She repeated quietly; she craned her neck back to look up at him as she spoke, trying to remain levelheaded. āIf you want themā¦ā
Yuki froze in place no sooner did she look up to find herself face to face with Haruchiyo, her words trailing off when her lavender pools met his aquamarine ones, his free hand moving back to cradling her head, not giving her time to register anything until itād already happened. Her eyes were blown wide in response and her heart was threatening to leap from her chest, she hadnāt expected him to follow through with kissing her after she hadnāt budged on the number of pills, but he had. Heād closed the distance without giving her a chance to argue with him and pressed his lips to hers without missing a beat, she didnāt know what possessed him to do so nor did she try to come up with answers, sheād gotten her first kiss. Sheād just managed to take a handful of his shirt and mold her lips with his a single time before he pulled out of the kiss, a whine leaving her in protest, her eyes fluttering open. A sly little smirk formed on his lips as he stared down at her, keeping just outside of her reach while she regained her bearings, sliding his fingers through the white.
āYou only get one.ā The pink-haired male spoke; she stared up at him slightly dazed, a dumbfounded look on her face. āYou can have another in six hours, Doctor.ā
