Abi

Scrambled Thoughts

[darkphoenixabi]

and when he decided to take back the power, she crumbled to pieces.

[darkphoenixabi]

Jack and Rose are arguing. Jack is hurt and has tears in his eyes.

He asks Rose, "Do you think of me as a good friend too or just some guy who is hopelessly in love with you and would do anything for you?"

Rose stays silent looking away from Jack.

Jack shouts, "THANK YOU!!! I GOT MY ANSWER. I love you but I cant be just some guy who you couldnt care any less about. I cant be around you anymore, I cant bear a single second of it. I cant do this to myself. I'm leaving this shitty town and all the shitty people, and count yourself in on that list"

Jack gets into his car and speeds away. That night he packs his stuffs and leaves for Washington.

[darkphoenixabi]

Jack drops her home. Its 11pm, cold night in January, hugs her and as she is walking away, he tells her, "I love you."

Rose turns back and says, "Why do you always say I love you before you go? I already know it and you know I don't like you in that way. So you dont have to say it everytime."

Jack sighs and replies,"I know. But if this was the last time you would see or hear from me, I want you to remember me by the last words I told you. Thats why I always say it."

(cold wind blows sending freezing windchills)

"Alright go inside, you might catch a cold. I'll see you soon. I love you."

Rose says, "Ok goodnight!" and runs and lock the door behind her. Jack gets to his car and drives back home.

[darkphoenixabi]

you think scary is 'being loved too much and too deeply

that your heart cant hold it'.

but you know whats real scary?

not being loved enough and living whole life with 'not enough'.

[darkphoenixabi]

Darling you are not a glass to be turned to pieces when hit by stone

You are the diamond shining through it all no matter how hard they hit you.

[darkphoenixabi]

Whats love without some madness in it?

without some element of apocalyse in it?

without some brokenness and pain in it?

without some passion in it?

without hurricane wrapped in between sunshine in it?

without some thorns between flowers in it?

without some clarity and remedy in it?

without some drunkenness between sobreity in it?

without comfortable silences and uncomfortable absenses in it?

[darkphoenixabi]

Across millenia of time and infinitely growing space,

how lucky am I to exist in the same space and time as you?

It must have been written in stars, that I found you

but like moth drawn to fire, I was drawn to you

and I must have been fated to be devoured down to ashes

while you were just trying to illuminate the world with your light.

[darkphoenixabi]

Dont ever let your ego get bigger than your love.

Be smaller if you have to, let love win.

Cause when you become big with your ego, you will win in a short run but you will lose in long run

and as far as history has taught us, winning battles means nothing if you lose the war.

[darkphoenixabi]

In a city full of chaos where I felt the need to keep running,

when I came across you, I wanted to stop and walk with you,

the need to run and fly vanished and your voice became the peaceful music to thwart the chaotic noise,

and all I started wanting was the privilege of being called home to your heart.

[darkphoenixabi]

when you walked in,

it was like sweet jasmine breeze in the setting sun,

just talking to you made explosion of fireworks like fourth of July in my heart.

like curly hair of yours, my heart got intertwined with yours at a mere glimpse of your beautiful smile.

and that dreamy eyes of yours, it got me dreaming about the life I wanna share with you.

Damn!!! you make me feel like god took a day off and carefully hand crafted you in his leisure time.

now I am at a point I dont know how I could do without you.

[darkphoenixabi]

Maybe a part of me has been in love with you since the start of everything at big bang and that part has been craving for you and struggling to gravitate back to you through ocean of time and space. and now that I have found you, I dont think any laws of science can beat this law of attraction that brought me to you.

[darkphoenixabi]

last night ater talking to you

I was crying thinking about you

that place in my imagination and the place in my heart

you were slowly taking up all of that place

I have crossed ocean of time and space in search of you

and now I feel that I have found you

I dont know how I could do without you

I am falling in love with you and I feel a line by NPH "everything I am and everything I have is yours forever" holds true for you

[darkphoenixabi]

If they want you as a perception of how they see you and not what you really are, then they dont deserve to be in your life.

[darkphoenixabi]

People, when they cannot understand the scale and magnitude of emotions, often tend to call you crazy and toxic.

[darkphoenixabi]

They say that time is infinite.

But as I see it, its very relative and limited, and its gonna end before we realize it.

Thats why I believe that,

it is not we who spend time

but it is the time that is spending us.

So do all the things that makes you feel alive before you get spent.

[darkphoenixabi]

You did not make my heart race

the image of being with you did not scare me

Instead, there was a sense of calmness about you,

you made me feel comfortable and warm

That was the moment I realised you were 'The One'

[darkphoenixabi]

we all come with some baggage,

some ghosts of the pasts

some scars that u wanna hide

some words that never left your mouth

and some thoughts you never got over

but will you help me unpack my baggage?

will you let me get rid of the demons?

will you admire the stories behind my scars?

will you make me comfortable enough to let the words flow from my mouth?