Beautiful Expectations @darkwingducktotherescue - Tumblr Blog

Why y'all so afraid of historical gays

Why wouldn’t you be afraid of Alexander the Great? He’s one of the greatest conquerors in history and was merciless in battle.

tunte

That’s actually a fair point

thegoodvybe

stevebabescemi

thebibliosphere

I’m reading through how my expenses will be evaluated for my taxes last year and I keep having to stop and laugh because I know what that file says, I know what’s itemized. And that’s a whole lot of skeletons to go through.

Have fun random IRS person have fun.

thisusernameisunique

Would you be willing to share any hillarious details?

I did my taxes the other day and im still mad

thebibliosphere

Questions to my accountant: how many skeletons can I get away with claiming are a business expense for my blog?

Accountant: …how many do you have?

Me: including the sexy ones?

Accountant: …I… I’ll have to check with the IRS.

Me: ask about glitter while you’re there.

Accountant, jokingly: is it related to the skeletons?

Me: …well now it is.

*

Me: hey so what about vampires

Accountant: how many vampires did you buy?

Me: no, do you think they pay taxes? Or do you think they’re freeloading bastards like amazon?

*

Me: hey, no listen don’t run, I’ve been meaning to ask you—

Accountant: if this is about the several thousand people who call you “mom” on the internet, no you can’t claim them as dependents.

wilwheaton

annerb-fic

My favorite headcanon is Ron teaching Harry to shave with some sort of charm that all the boys are taught growing up by their dad’s. But of course Harry never got to have that, so when he’s like 13 and hair starts forming on his face, Ron being the sweetheart that he is offers to do it for him.

I LOVE this idea. I can see Ron helping him out and Seamus wandering into the bathroom and giving them shit and Ron being all “Piss off” and just continuing to carefully shave Harry’s face all the while sharing horror stories of all the crap his brothers tried to pull on him the last summer when he first started shaving. “Stop laughing, Harry, or I’m gonna accidentally charm off your whole sodding chin!”

annerb-fic

Omg and then Neville sidles in and is hovering because his dad couldn’t teach him either. And Ron finally noticing and doing some quick connections in his head and then just saying, “you next!”

annerb-fic

WAIT A MINUTE. Dean doesn’t have his (magical) dad around either. What are you doing to meeeeeee.

annerb-fic

Is Ron the only Gryffindor boy their year with a magical dad that is not dead, missing, or hospitalized? JKR WHY?!?

(Though it actually makes sense, considering when they were all born and what was happening. But STILL)

selfeffacing-jokes

And in that moment Ron instantly accepted the role of Gryffindor Dad

wizardlogic

This is why Ron’s a prefect lol

lytefoot

This is the content I come here for.

saintvitus

powerburial

this is arcane knowledge that the human mind cant comprehend

bitchboi-naughty

honestly what the fuck does this mean

vhsv0id

“Don’t stress yourselves out about it, but don’t ignore the situation”

themightyglamazon

GOOD ADVICE

usbdongle-deactivated20200531

i have internalized this wisdom since he gave it to us and i have thrived. an arcane prophet

mlleclaudine

Mikael Chukwuma Owunna, a queer Nigerian-Swedish artist raised in Pittsburgh, has spent the past two and a half years photographing Black men and women for a series titled Infinite Essence. Hand-painted using fluorescent paints and photographed in complete darkness, Owunna’s subjects are illuminated by a flash outfitted with a UV filter, which turns their nude bodies into glowing celestial figures.

Owunna tells Colossal that the series was his response to the frequent images and videos of Black people being killed by those sworn to protect them: the police. The photographer’s friends, family members, dancers, and one person he connected with on Instagram serve as models for the project, which is named after an idea from his Igbo heritage. “All of our individual spirits are just one ray of the infinite essence of the sun,” Owunna explains. “By transcending the visible spectrum, I work to illuminate a world beyond our visible structures of racism, sexism, homophobia and transphobia where the black body is free.”

theunimpairedcondition

And if the body were not the soul, what is the soul?

noping-out-deactivated20241117

In the US, a person’s wheelchair is viewed legally as an extension of their body.

1. If you touch someone’s wheelchair without their consent, that is Assault. In some states, this is automatically Aggravated Assault because the assault has been committed against a disabled person.

2. If you grab a someone’s moving wheelchair to stop it, lean on their wheelchair making it jolt or tilt, climb over their wheelchair to get past it, or move their wheelchair because you think it’s in your way, you are risking injury to an obviously medically fragile person and that is Reckless Endangerment.

3. If you grab or hold onto a wheelchair, block it or in any other way prevent the person from leaving, that is Unlawful Detention or Unlawful Restraint.

4. If you start pushing a person’s wheelchair without their explicit consent, that is Abduction.

This is not a moral philosophy or an opinion. These are legal definitions. If you do any of these things, you are committing a crime for which you can be prosecuted and do jail time, and you will have a criminal record which will follow you for the rest of your life.

These same laws are applied in the same way to any mobility device including canes, walkers, and scooters. If you kick someone’s cane, grab their walker, pull on the handlebars of their scooter or in any other way touch or manhandle someone’s mobility device you are committing a crime for which you can be prosecuted and go to prison.

(Source)

they-callme-starryeyes-deactiva

I didn’t know this but I’m glad I do now because the next asshole to not take no for an answer and try to push me anyways I know what to do and say.

marvel-is-ruining-my-life

Ryan Reynolds is officially my favorite person

adhdbean

just because I spend some time doing nothing doesn’t mean I’m relaxing. I have not once relaxed

killrqueen7

The “You know Gerard Way wrote Umbrella Academy but did you also know he was in a band??” articles have me shaking. I’ve become my parents.

bubblewrapjunkie

Some video on youtube that showed hidden talents of celebrities had Will Smith rapping in it and I had to lay down for a full hour

brainbubblegum

To new, inexperienced drivers:

so idk if they teach you this in drivers’ ed class or whatever, but if you see someone in the opposite direction flashing their high beams at you, they’re NOT being a dick. they’re saying, “SLOW DOWN, I just saw a police car back there”.

If I hadn’t known that today, I wouldn’t have noticed the police car hiding in its fox hole and gotten a ticket for going 20 over the speed limit. and I’m glad I don’t have to pay $80 for a dumb mistake!!!

badgerofshambles

In deer country this is also used to warn others about a herd up ahead. In either case, the double flash means that some nonsense is occurring and ya gotta slow down!

hiccup-queen

Double-flash also means “turn on your headlights”. Basically, if someone’s flashing their brights, pay super-close attention and figure out what’s going on.

annchovi

They could ALSO be flashing them to tell you to turn YOUR brights off because you’re blinding them! It’s common courtesy to turn your brights off for oncoming traffic, but not everyone knows this~

kyraneko

I’ve also seen it used to warn of an accident ahead. Basically anytime someone flashes their brights at you, if your own lights are 1) on, and 2) not on bright, you can take it to mean “slow down and pay attention for the next stretch of road particularly.”

Whether that’s for a speed trap, a herd of deer, or four fire trucks, two ambulances, and a dozen squad cars all clustered around what used to be two vehicles, slowing down and paying attention is good for you and can save you a lot of money and/or heartache.

itsc

im EXHAUSTED at the implication that being 25 is old. im very young. i am not a child at 29! i am an adult!

HOWEVER,

people who are 30 are not old. people who are 40? not that old! your 20s arent a marathon with 50+ year cooling off period? you don’t have to accomplish literally anything in your 20s if you can’t or don’t want to, and you can still do things afterwards. acting like people who are no longer teens or still teen flavored are all ancient would be a much funnier joke if people didn’t seem to legitimately believe it!

when i was in high school my best friend told me all the time that she’d rather be dead than turn 40 because she wouldn’t be beautiful anymore, and like… i see so many young people on the internet sharing similar sentiments.

there are things that youth will afford some of us—energy, access, ability, health, etc.—that you can take advantage of during your teens and 20s, but to believe that your impact will lessen, that your life will diminish, that you have to “grow up” and stop having interests or friends or an independent or social life once you turn 23, 25, 27, 30??? guys, that’s BANANAS.

please don’t buy in to the idea that your youth is all you have to offer.