Summary : Jason comes home late again. This time you won't stop until you know why. > you don't know he is red hood and he is not willing to tell you
Warnings : a lil angsty, a lil blood and that it bro. First time writing for jason kinda nervous haha 😚✋🏻
The clock on the wall read 2:17 a.m
The apartment was silent except for the occasional hum of traffic far below the windows and the soft ticking of the vintage clock in the kitchen.You sat curled up on the couch, a blanket draped over your shoulders and your phone clutched tightly in your hand.
Twenty-three missed calls.
Your stomach twisted every time headlights flashed through the curtains, every time footsteps echoed in the hallway outside your apartment door.
The first thing you felt was relief. Immediate and overwhelming but anger followed right behind.
The door opened and Jason stepped inside. Still, your heart dropped. Split knuckles, dried blood on his shirt and a fresh bruise on his jaw. He froze when he saw you awake and for a moment neither of you spoke.
"No." You threw the blanket away and stood up. "No. Don't 'baby' me."
Jason shut the door.You saw it happen. That moment when he realized this wasn't going to be another conversation he could dodge.
His eyes flickered toward the kitchen. Toward the hallway. Anywhere except you.
"Then explain." You said.
"Right..." your laugh came out sharp.
Jason rubbed a hand over his face.
"You should've gone to bed."
"You should've been home six hours ago." You stared at him
"I thought you were dead." You snapped.
His expression softened immediately. "Hey." Jason said as he took a step forward.
"Don't do that." He pleaded.
"Then stop giving me reasons to."
You watched words hit him, watched his jaw flex then watched him look away.
It only made you angrier. Because he looked guilty. Every. single. time.
Like there was something he was hiding, something he couldn't tell you- or wouldn't
"So where were you?" You asked.
Jason looked at the floor, "I was handling something."
"Always the same answer..." you mutter, "'handling something', 'taking care of something', 'work stuff'" you mocked him.
"You realize none of those are actual answers, right?"
"It's complicated." He said, looking cornered.
"You wouldn't understand.".
Jason swallowed and you saw him hesitate for a moment, "....no."
"No." He said with more resolve.
It was silent for a moment.
You stared at the blood on his shirt. The bruises.The split lip. The cuts on his hands.
His head snapped up,"No."
"Are you involved with something illegal?"
"Are you being hurt by someone?"
"Then why do you look like that?!" You cried out. You ran your fingers through your hair, feeling like you're about to crash out.
Still, Jason stayed quiet.
You laughed shakily, "Do you know what it's like?"
His eyes softened, you hated that. It made him look so sad- as if he was the victim here.
"Every time you're late and not answering no phone calls or texts?" Your voice cracked, "I sit here wondering if this is the night someone knocks on my door and tells me you're gone."
Jason closed his eyes, "Stop."
"No." You stepped toward him, "You don't get to tell me to stop."
"No." Your voice broke completely. "I love you."
"I love you," you repeated. "And every single night I wonder if you're coming home."
Jason looked away and curled his hands into fists, "You think I don't know that?"
"Then why do you keep doing this?"
Your chest hurt- God, it hurt.
Because you knew Jason. You knew he wasn't cheating. You knew he wasn't out partying. You knew he wasn't lying for fun. There was something real happening. Something dangerous. Something terrifying. And he simply refused to let you into it.
"What?" Jason immediately looked up.
"Do you not trust me?" You repeated
"Of course I trust you." He said
His face closed off instantly. There it was again. The door closing and locking up. The one that always locked up every time you got too close. "No."
"I can't." He said softly.
"You...you really don't understand..." You said softly, "Because if you did, you would've realized what this is doing to us."
His expression changed at those words, "What do you mean?"
You laughed softly, "What do you think I mean?"
For the first time all night he looked genuinely panicked, "Don't-"
Your throat tightened, "You don't get to say don't."
"Then tell me the truth, Jason." You demanded.
Jason was breathing harder now. His chest rising and falling. His hands shaking slightly.
The great Jason Todd. The stubborn man who never seemed afraid of anything. Terrified. Not of criminals. Not of guns. Not of dying. Of losing you.
The word was barely audible.
And for one horrible second you thought he was finally going to.
That he was going to tell you everything.
The tears finally escaped and Jason immediately moved like it was instinct. He crossed the room in seconds. "Hey."
His face crumpled "Baby-"
"No." Your voice cracked.
"You don't get to comfort me after this." You wiped angrily at your tears. "I am so tired, Jason."
He looked devastated, "I know."
"No, you don't!" You shook your head, "You don't."
Jason stood frozen. The distance between you suddenly felt enormous.
You looked at the man you loved.
The man who came home bruised, bleeding and broken. Night after night. Who refused to tell you why.
"I don't need every detail." Your voice trembled. "I don't need secrets from your past."
"But I need something", you swallowed
"You have me." Jason looked down.
You laughed bitterly, "Do I?"
For a long moment neither of you spoke.
Then Jason finally whispered,
"If I told you..." He trailed off. Jason looked away like he couldn't bear to see your reaction.
"If I told you..." His jaw tightened "You'd never be safe again."
Your heartbeat pounded, "What does that mean?"
Jason shook his head immediately- like he'd already said too much.
You stepped toward him, "What does that mean?"
Jason looked trapped.Cornered. Like a man standing at the edge of a cliff.
And then suddenly he snapped.
"You think I don't want to tell you?" The anger in his voice startled you "You think I like lying to you?"
"I hate it!" The confession burst out of him. "I hate every second of it." Jason looked away, his eyes shining. "You think I don't know what this is doing to us?"
"I know." The words barely audible, "And I am sorry."
He sounded so sincere, he sounded broken, because despite everything- you knew he loved you.
Jason took one hesitant step forward.
This time you didn't move away. His hand slowly found yours."I swear to God, I'm trying."
Jason closed his eyes as pain flashed across his face. The kind of pain that came from wanting something desperately and knowing you couldn't have it.
When he opened them again, they were full of heartbreak. "I just can't."
