Do you think Palpatine's relationship with Anakin was abusive or unhealthy before he became Darth Vader?
Absolutely. Anakin & Palpatine was never not abusive. The abuse began when Palpatine first heard of Anakin and ended only when Anakin killed him. It evolved over the years but it never stopped. Palpatine was constantly grooming, manipulating and emotionally abusing Anakin.
Their first real conversation tells us everything we need to know about what Palpatine planned to do to Anakin (and later did) and how he did it.
He presents himself as a kind, accepting figure that gives Anakin what he so desperately craves (acceptance and approval). Palpatine, at their very first meeting, already offers Anakin something the Jedi Order never managed to give him:
[Palpatine] cut his gaze to Anakin. “I didn’t have an opportunity on Naboo to thank you, young Skywalker. Your actions were nothing less than extraordinary. May the Force ever be as strong with you.”
“Thank you, sir,” Anakin said in a quiet voice.
He then proceeds to bond with Anakin over some common ground. In this case, Tatooine. Palpatine uses this to drive the first wedge between Anakin and Obi-wan, at the same time he separates himself from the strictness and detachment of the Jedi Order. Thus, further proving himself as a potentially accepting figure for Anakin to bond with.
Palpatine interlinked the fingers of his hands. “I’m told that you grew up on Tatooine. I visited there, many years ago.”
Anakin’s eyes narrowed for the briefest moment. “I did, sir, but I’m not supposed to talk about that.”
Palpatine watched him glance up at Obi-Wan. “And why is that?”
“Anakin,” Obi-Wan snapped in reprimand. Palpatine reclined slightly, studying the two of them. Obi-Wan seemed not to have noticed the fury simmering in the boy, but for an instant Palpatine perceived a touch of his younger self in Skywalker. The need to challenge authority; the gift for masking his emotions. The yet-unrecognized power.
“I apologize if I’ve stirred something between you,” he said after a moment.
Clearly uncomfortable, Obi-Wan shifted in place. “The Jedi are trained to live in the moment, Supreme Chancellor. Our upbringings have little to do with our lives in the Force.”
Palpatine furrowed his brow. “Easy for an infant, I’m certain, but for a young boy …” He interrupted himself with a negligent gesture. “Well, who am I to pass judgment on the tenets of your Order, when the Jedi have kept peace in the Republic for one thousand years.”
Obi-Wan said nothing in a definite way.
Unfortunately, Obi-wan is too young and unprepared to see what Palpatine is doing and in his eagerness to be a good Jedi™ he plays right into his hand. He presents himself as the oppressive force – the one who doesn’t let Anakin be free – and cements the idea that Palpatine is more sympathetic to Anakin’s thoughts and emotions.
“But tell me, Padawan Skywalker, how it feels to have become a member of such a revered group.”
“It’s like a dream come true, sir,” Anakin said in genuine sincerity.
“A dream come true … Then you’ve long thought about the Jedi Order and about the Force.” Anakin nodded.
“I’ve always wanted to bring justice—”
“It’s not for you to decide your destiny, Anakin,” Obi-Wan said. “The Force will guide you.”
Palpatine smiled inwardly. Guide you to me, young Skywalker.
Palpatine asked for this meeting knowing he would take the opportunity to check out his competition (Obi-wan) and to start the grooming process with Anakin. What later became Palpatine & Vader’s relationship was the result of almost 20 years of abuse and manipulation. It wasn’t a accident. It wasn’t something that just happened. Palpatine turned Anakin into exactly what he wanted. He manipulated Anakin into becoming the kind of person that would allow himself to be turned into Darth Vader.
If you don’t believe me, believe Palpatine:
Dooku had talent, and could be a powerful placeholder. But this seemingly guileless pleasant-faced boy, this Forceful boy, was the one he would take as his apprentice, and use to execute the final stage of the Grand Plan. Let Obi-Wan instruct him in the ways of the Force, and let Skywalker grow embittered over the next decade as his mother aged in slavery, the galaxy deteriorated around him, and his fellow Jedi fell to inextricable conflicts. He was too young to be trained in the ways of the Sith, in any case, but he was the perfect age to bond with a father figure who would listen to all his troubles and coax him inexorably over to the dark side. [James Luceno. Darth Plagueis]
Anakin was a tool to used and nothing more. His turn from a friendly, innocent boy to a emotionally unstable monster was a calculate one. Vader wasn’t an accident. He was the result. The result of 10 years of unmitigated abuse.
Palpatine was grooming Anakin to become Darth Vader, which means that, yes, he was abusing him from the very start. He was abusing him every time he tried to undermine Anakin’s relationships with Obi-wan and Padmé, when he kept Anakin isolated, when he maintain himself Anakin’s only confidant, when he lied, etc.
And the sad part is that no one noticed. And the people who should have had the child’s best interest at heart, actually allowed the abuser to have further access to a little boy and later expected to profit from this abusive relationship:
“I would think that Anakin’s friendship with Palpatine could be of use to us in this—he has the kind of access to Palpatine that other Jedi might only dream of. Their friendship is an asset, not a danger.” Obi-wan Kenobi in Matthew Stover’s Revenge of the Sith.
Vader exists because a bunch of wise and powerful adults failed to protect a child from his abuser.
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