The Nitpicks Awaken

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In time you’ll learn to use it as I have.

So this is something that could be rectified in Episode VIII, but for now it doesn’t sit right with me. Why does it seem like Leia hasn’t been trained to use the Force? We see her sense Han’s death in the Force, but she never actively uses her power. Why doesn’t she go with Han, Chewie and Finn to Starkiller base? One would think that the powers of one trained in the Force would be useful especially if they are expecting to confront their Force-sensative son. It’s not like there are plenty of other people there to sit around a hologram and call out how many ships they’ve lost. 

For that matter, why didn’t she have the ability to train her own son in the ways of the Force? She was only a few years behind Luke in his Jedi training which probably wouldn’t have made a huge difference. Again we have a case of ignoring the internal logic of the series in service of nostalgia. Leia is a military leader in this film because she was a military leader in the original films, not because it makes sense for her character. Or am I missing something? E-mail me if you know why Leia doesn’t use the Force. Post a comment on this Webzone if you know why Leia doesn’t use the Force

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Speaking of weapons...

So this movie expects me to believe that Han has never had to use Chewie’s bowcaster. I mean, he probably wouldn’t want to unless it were absolutely necessary since it’s sized for a wookie not a human; I just don’t buy that at no point in their 35+ year partnership was he not forced to. Yeah, it’s good for a cheap gag in the movie, but it takes me out of the world more than it makes me chuckle.

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It is the weapon of a Jedi Knight

So the blaster rifle that Han gives Finn disappears sometime between when they’re in Maz Kanata’s basement (where it’s clearly strapped across his back) and when they’re on the battlefield. Now a bit of clumsy prop tracking is acceptable in every movie. Props disappear from shot to shot, they get held in different hands, they move mysteriously across furniture; but this is usually by accident. Finn’s vanishing blaster is by design, he has to lose the blaster so we can see him using the lightsaber.

Now my problem with all of this is that there’s no way a trained soldier would lose track of his rifle especially when there’s been an attack. Finn should be coming out of the basement with his rifle drawn, ready to fight (when he finally gets a blaster in this scene he seems to fall back on his Stormtrooper training with ease). But the screenwriters take his blaster away, they just disappear it into the ether, and force the lightsaber into his hands. This move doesn’t further the narrative of the film or Finn’s character arc--we already know he’s going to jump into this battle because he’s already demonstrated his bravery--but it does serve J.J’s beloved Mystery Box misdirection. 

See all of the film’s marketing has been showing Finn using the lightsaber so it’s a ‘twist’ when Rey is revealed to be the character strong in the Force. Where I take issue with this is that, watching the film, we know that Rey is Force sensative before Finn ever picks up the lightsaber. So we have an entire sequence of this movie that only exists to generate buzz in the internet speculation/hype machine. I would be willing to bet that now that we know that Finn isn’t strong in the Force he never picks up a lightsaber again.

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Remember Luke, the Force will be with you...until you pick up a lightsaber

This is really a criticism of a lot of Star Wars media: it happens a lot in Clone Wars and a few times in Rebels, but The Force Awakens continues the proud tradition of Force users forgetting they can use the Force while in a lightsaber duel.

Seriously there shouldn’t even be a fight between Kylo Ren and Finn or Rey. He shouldn’t bother trying to chase them down with a lightsaber when he can just as easily toss them around the forest like rag dolls with the Force. For that matter why doesn’t he pull Luke’s lightsaber out of Finn’s hand using the Force? It could be a callback to Han and Vader in Empire (and this film is nothing if not a long series of callbacks). I’m willing to grant that when they do go at it with lightsabers his ability is somewhat limited because of his wound, but physical wounds don’t compromise a person’s ability to use the Force so why doesn’t he remember to use it!? It’s funny because Rey only defeats Kylo because he reminds her that she can use the Force.

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Your friend is quite the mercenary...

So when Finn finds out he’s on a ship with Han Solo he reflexively calls him a War Hero. Keep in mind that this is a Stormtrooper, someone who has been conditioned from birth by a regime that idolizes and imitates the Empire. I’m pretty sure if these were the people teaching Finn’s Galactic History classes they wouldn’t be describing Han as hero. He would probably know Han as a ruthless mercenary, notorious pirate, or terrorist war criminal.

Now I know that at this point in the film Finn is still trying to maintain the illusion that he is a Resistance fighter for Rey, but the problem is that doesn’t read in the line delivery. (I’m fairly confident that this is probably a script problem not an actor problem, since a [hesitantly] or [halting] would have been enough of a context clue for an actor as clearly capable as John Boyega to pick up on) But that’s because the screenwriters don’t care about how Finn might think of Han Solo. Instead what we have here is another moment of cheap fanservice where the characters are trying to play emotions of the audience rather than remain true to their circumstances.

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How many Parsecs?

Rey remarks that the Millennium Falcon is the ship that made the Kessel run in 14 Parsecs. Han corrects her down to 12, strange because when he's bragging to Luke and Obi-Wan he claims he made it in less than 12. You'd think if he were proud of the achievement he'd keep his story straight.

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Alert all commands, deploy the fleet

So apparently the New Republic has the worst galactic naval command in the history of galactic naval commands because they keep their entire fleet stationed in the Hosnian system; a planet which appeared (in the one shot where it was pictured) to be a civilian and government center. Usually you want to keep your starfleet deployed throughout the galaxy so they can respond to crises wherever they happen. Also it’s usually wise to station your fleets at shipyards where they can be mantained, repaired or restocked. In the Star Wars universe we know that there are entire planets and planetary economies devoted to the construction and maintenance of spacecraft (Kuat, Corellia, Sullust and Mon Calamari to name a few) yet the New Republic has its entire fleet stationed around a non-military planet. That would be like the entire U.S. Navy being stationed in the Potomac River, it just doesn’t make sense.

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Tear this ship apart until you’ve found those plans...

So after Poe and Finn escape from the Star Destroyer, General Hux orders a squad down to the planet to search the wreckage. A single squad!? I thought finding the information in this droid was important to you, like the whole reason you’re in orbit around Jakku and you send ONE SQUAD. Later Kylo says to Hux, I hope your troops can handle reterieving that droid and Hux doesn’t think “Hmm, maybe you’re right, maybe I should send another squad or a whole platoon, or a batallion; hell maybe I should send an entire legion to scour every inch of the desert to find the object that is the SOLE PURPOSE for our presence here.” 

No Hux just thinks that this is his banter hour with Kylo so we all make jokes about how at least his Stormtroopers are better than a clone army; you know, because they’re not all CGI and fake looking. Remember how bad those prequels were? Look at all the practical effects in this movie we’re in! Don’t worry guv’nor Kylo, practical effects will help us capture the hero, not sound tactics or strategy.

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Let’s talk about the trisaber

So lets ignore all the mechanics of how lightabers are supposed to ‘work’ because when it comes down to it they’re fantasy laser swords that resonate with space magic. Whether or not a lightsaber ‘works’ within the mechanics of its own universe should not determine the aesthetics of its design. Lore should really be the determining factor. For example we know that blue lightsabers are used by Jedi Guardians, green lightsabers are used by Jedi Consulars and purple lightsabers that say ‘Bad Motherfucker’ are used by Jedi Weapon Masters. When Luke shows up with a green lightsaber in Return of the Jedi it indicates a shift in his character to a more reserved, contemplative Luke than the previous films.

We know why Kylo Ren has a red lightsaber, but there doesn’t seem to be a lore reason for why said lightsaber has a crossguard (To be fair this may be something that is answered in future films). Now in all honesty there’s nothing wrong with a guard on a lightsaber given all of the dismemberment that’s happened in Star Wars, but historically most blade guards are circular: Gladii, Rapiers, Scimitars, Katana all these have circular guards because it protects more of the hand. The biggest reason European longswords have crossguards is because Jesus was popular in Europe around the time when lots of swords were being made. Also, as far as I know, there’s no cruciform iconography in Star Wars; so it feels wrong in the same way the saberstaff feels wrong: because there’s no lore reason (yet) for Kylo to go through all the effort to make a unique cruciform lightsaber. If anything you think he’d try to replicate Vader’s lightsaber since he seems to be such a big fan. 

As a personal aesthetic preference I think the cruciform lightsaber evokes too much of a european feel; since the Jedi practice of spiritual enlightenment through martial practice conjures a distinctly eastern feel. (To me there are a lot a parallels between the Jedi and the Ikko Ikki of Sengoku Japan). Still, so much of Star Wars is conjured from Western mythology and archetypes that this is the least of my issues with the trisaber.

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Remotes are one thing

So when Finn is tending to Chewie’s wound on the Falcon, he pulls out the old Jedi training remote. Now yes it’s good for a cheap laugh there, but seriously why is that thing still on the Falcon? You’d think Luke might’ve taken it to use with his pupils in their Jedi training, or that one of the long list of people that stole the Falcon woul’ve thrown the thing out or tried to sell it as a Jedi relic or scrapped it for parts. I mean when you get a new vehicle do you just keep whatever crap was lying around inside?

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TK-421 why aren’t you at your post?

So did the First Order stop installing comlinks inside Stormtrooper helmets? I ask this because it seems like it would’ve been super easy for Captain Phasma to give up the ghost on Han, Chewie and Finn’s break in. Sure they would’ve shot the crap out of her, but it’s suggested that the First Order does extensive brainwashing and mental programming on its Stormtroopers; so it seems more likely that Phasma would die trying to stop the Resistance than deactivate the shield for them.

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From a certain point of view

I might catch some flak for this:

“I mean look at, like, Star Wars: You’ve got the droids, they meet the mysterious woman. Who’s that? We don’t know. Mystery Box! Y'know, then you meet Luke Skywalker he gets the droids, you see the holographic image. You learn, ‘Oh, it’s a message’ she wants to y'know find Obi-Wan Kenobi he’s her only hope. But who the hell is Obi-Wan Kenobi? Mystery Box! So then you go, he meets Ben Kenobi and Ben Kenobi is Obi-Wan Kenobi! Holy shit! Have you guys not seen that? It’s huge! So there’s this thing with mystery boxes and I started feeling like, compelled.”— J.J. Abrams

“It’s a big spawling space saga of Rebellion and Romance! It’s an epic of heroes and villains and aliens from a thousand worlds!”— Star Wars A New Hope trailer (1977)

One of these is about Star Wars, the other is a marketing ploy. But which is which? Only you can decide.

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Kylo Ren’s name is dumb

No, not Kylo Ren, that sounds dumb within the acceptable range for Star Wars.

I mean why did Han and Leia name their son Ben? Presuming they’re trying to honor Master Kenobi, why not name him Obi-Wan? Luke is the only person who really knows Obi-Wan as Ben because that was his hermit alias. Leia knew him as Obi-Wan, y’know, like “Help me Obi-Wan Kenobi, you’re my only hope”

But why would Leia and Han name their son after Obi-Wan? Leia never met him and Han always seemed to have a dismissive attitude towards him. Why not name him Bail after King Organa who did a hell of a lot more to fight the Empire as the ruler of Alderaan than Obi-Wan did as a recluse. You could even name him Jacen, because people worked hard on that EU stuff that’s no longer canon and it might be decent to acknowledge that. (Anakin Solo would be a happy compromise here)

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As if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror

This one really grinds my gears:

So in A New Hope the destruction of Alderaan has some serious emotional punch; Alderaan is only significant because it’s Leia’s home planet, Tarkin pretty much says this himself. When we see it destroyed we know nothing about Alderaan, its culture, its people, its history, but we look at Leia’s deperate and helpless face and we know exactly what we are meant to feel: Shock and Terror. When I saw A New Hope as a kid I really couldn’t believe it was happening. Hard as it is to watch, the destruction of Alderaan is necessary because it shows you exactly what the Death Star is capable of inspiring.

In The Force Awakens the First Order also feels it necessary to demonstrate the might of Starkiller base by destroying the Hosnian system. This time though we don’t get to view this event through the eyes of a character who we’ve spent time growing to love; this time we get General Hux doing his very best Hitler impression (more on this later) and then the weapon fires. No offense to the billions of sentient lives that were destroyed, but it means nothing, there’s nothing there to contextualize our emotional response other than a bunch of Nazi allusion. Now I hate Nazis as much as the next guy, but as a culture we’re so far removed from them that our distaste is more abstract than visceral. The best thing the audience does have to process this moment is whatever nostalgia residue is left from the destruction of Alderaan in A New Hope, and that to me is pretty despicable. The filmmakers destroyed five planets and billions of lives for a callback to a better movie and they didn’t even stick the landing.

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No THIS battlestation is now the ultimate power in the galaxy

So did the First Order look at the giant scrap piles that were the first two Death Stars and think...’Welp, third time’s the charm’

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Your Otyughs look bad and you should feel bad.

So remember that one scene in Mad Max where there’s the hundred death-rig pileup and a gi-normous explosion but all we thought as we watched it was “Damn! Super-obvious CGI is super-obvious”  This is the dark side of relying heavily on practical effects: when you do need to create something with a computer you have to go that extra mile to make it look like a part of the world of the film. The egregious moment in The Force Awakens comes when Rey accidentally releases some Otyughs (Yes I know they have a Star Wars name. Do better design than copy-pasting from your Monster Manual if you want me to remember it) that Han has captured. All of a sudden we’re straight out of the movie thinking, damn those Otyughs look fake. Say what you will about The Phantom Menace (and trust me, doing that is less nitpicking then giant radioactive cockroach stomping) but that movie did a better job of making CG and practicals work together.

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The guns, they’ve stopped

So unless the First Order stopped equipping Star Destroyers with working deflector shields Poe and Finn most certainly did not take out their turbolasers with a TIE Fighter. Oh and another thing, after Poe and Finn somehow gun down two Turbolaser batteries, somebody on the ship says “they’ve taken out our Turbolasers” as if there aren’t another 58 heavy cannons on the ship.