[nothorses]

Pinned Post

A chaotic table of contents for posts I made (mostly) & reference sometimes, but can never find when I need to. Because nobody can stop me!

*If you’re here because some asshole told you I used to be a TERF:

In, like, 2013-14, one of the feminist pages I followed said they didn’t think trans women were women, I turned tail and ran, and then that interaction haunted me & filled me with fear/guilt for allowing someone like that to get anywhere near me. for years after. I was a teenager at the time. I have no idea how my talking about this turned into “nothorses used to be a TERF”, but uh. suffice to say it’s a fucking lie.

My Shop - Handmade fine art prints

Transmasc Discussion

“Transandrophobia” Primer

Identity vs. Position

Testosterone is not a “violent” hormone

Masculinity is not inherently toxic & Femininity can be toxic

Cis manhood is not the golden standard of manhood

On Transandrophobia

Transandrophobia on Tumblr

Transmasc experiences in statistics, Follow-up., Additional follow-up

How transandrophobia works  

Twitter thread on transmascs by @Azure_Husky

In the Wake of Elliot Page

J.K. Rowling and Trans Men

Hating transmascs is still transphobia

“Man hating” feminism hurts transmascs

TERFs love it when transmascs and transfems hate each other

Weaponizing feminist talking points against trans men

Common arguments against transandrophobia

“Trans-Inclusive” Radfems

Building Transmasc Community

Why Are We Silencing Each Other?

Yes, we know misandry doesn’t exist.

Trans Men & Male Privilege

Transfems, Transmisogyny, and the Fight to Recognize Transandrophobia

Other Discussion

On “Transunitism”

Queer History & Resources

“Transgender” and what it used to mean

Cis people fucking with gender is good for trans people too

TME/TMA’s “Identity = Oppression” problem

TME/TMA & Perception

TME/TMA Origins & “AFAB Privilege”

What Were Baeddels?

Common TERF talking points

Exclusionist Tactics 

“Kill all Men” & White Feminism

Yuri On Ice & Queerness

Interview With An Ex-Radfem

Hot Allostatic Load & Callout Culture

Competition vs. Obligation

On M-Spec Lesbians

Joan of Arc & “Crossdressing”

Resources

Transmascs of Color Rec List

Transmasc Creators Masterlist

TransTape: A Guide, (Don’t buy it on Amazon), Kinetic tape isn’t always cheaper

Types of Top Surgery Incisions  

My Top Surgery Experience

Transmascs in History

Baeddelism

Let’s Talk About Baeddels (Part 1) (Medium ver.) (Video reading)

When Baeddels Took Them (Part 2) (Medium ver.)

Brushes with Baeddels (Part 3) (Medium ver.)

I’ll be updating this when I think to!

[transandrogyny--turtlebug]

I dont really care about the tattoo. Its on a technical level done well, the symbolism is a bit heavy handed, he seems to like it so theres really not much to say about the tattoo itself.

Some people have a visceral reaction to seeing depictions of uteri to the point that seeing one feels like a personal attack on them. And that nothing can ever be just about trans men, even our own bodies. Thats what i got out of this.

If this tattoo was on like a white thin cis woman, everyone would be like "Hell yeah QUEEN!" but it's on a trans man, so they are utterly disgusted and personally attacked for some reason, and the reason is the hatred and control and abuse of trans men. You're so right

[dogboysora]

The Tattoo Post™️ is so revealing of the current state of trans discourse online. Really it’s quite a fascinating case study. Right from the jump we have the weirdly paternalistic framing that trans men should run tattoo ideas by their friends, insinuating that trans men innately have poor judgment. By singling out trans men as a demographic rather than just advising people get feedback on their tattoo ideas or stating that they think the tattoo in question is bad, OP implies that it is trans men specifically and no other demographic that deserve to be held to this level of scrutiny. And even if you stripped the weird gender wars bullshit away from the whole thing, there remains the fact that putting a stranger on blast over an innocuous tattoo is deeply weird and uhhh bullying? Just straight up middle school bully behavior? What the hell is wrong with you?

Anyway here are my favorite notes

Exhibit A: The very feminist take that people socially/medically/legally classed as female aren’t oppressed on the basis of being socially/medically/legally classed as female.

Exhibit B: Seeing a non-sexual image of a trans man and immediately thinking about him bottoming. Because sexually objectifying random people for no reason is, again, very feminist. 🙄

Exhibi— okay I don’t have anything to say, I’m just enamored by this one. What does it even mean. What if a cis guy was a trans guy. What if the world was made of pudding. What if words meant nothing.

[genderrat]

needed this out of the comments

[genderkoolaid]

also here's op of that post defending their buddies normalizing racism and antisemitism through absurdist jokes

[learn-how-to-love]

Trans liberation will never be accomplished if our community can’t understand that sex is as much of a made up false binary as gender is. I’m serious. “Sex” is just a set of terms for a group of phenotypic traits sorted into two boxes for the ease and comfort of cis and perisex people. It’s arbitrary. We’ve only clung to the idea that sex correlates with gender because that made deciding who was or was not worth personhood easier to enforce. Anyone of any gender can have- and enjoy having- a particular sex-associated trait. Whether it’s their genitalia, their chest, their dominant hormones, any of it, it doesn’t matter. Everyone should have the right to change those traits for any reason at any time, without exception. Transmedicalism is a doomed strategy aiming to assimilate trans identity into the existing gender/sex binary that will never succeed, because we are all considered a threat to the system no matter how much we try to reproduce the status quo. You will never be acceptable to transphobes, you can only stand united against them with the “trenders” and the “theyfabs” or you will be thrown aside as soon as we’re out of the picture. Reject all binaries.

[tboy-cock]

asking the person who claims to say "id cover my drink around you/cross the street if i saw you" and "you look like youd hatecrime me/call me a slur" to trans men to "affirm" our genders if they also tell cis men that they look like theyd rape or attack them because theyre men just to feel something

[genderrat]

tumblr "feminism" is great because it'll have people saying stuff like "hate targeted at trans men isnt transphobia"

[0x1-deactivated20220826]

dick makes people mentally ill. dick havers, dick wannabes and dick lovers are all insane. it's like toxoplasmosis, you have compulsive need to defend and push and worship dicks all the time and spead your dick mania to everywhere you go.

this seems rational and grounded in empirical evidence

[afloweroutofstone]

#lost in a fugue of penis delerium

[crapscicle]

[sister-hawk]

reblog to spread your dick mania to everywhere you go

[gaydiation-poisoning]

I'm gonna be so real some of y'all think you can't be trans if you were born with a vagina

[stillnotmollified]

some of you weren’t around for the fan fiction dot net purge of 2002 (when they banned explicit content and mass-deleted thousands of fics) and the livejournal purge of 2007 (when they deleted hundreds of blogs, disproportionately targeting queer & kink content) and it shows

this kind of policing is why ao3 was created

remember, kids, the three laws of fandom are:

- don’t like; don’t read

- your kink is not my kink

- ship and let ship

[rembrandtswife]

your kink is not my kink *but your kink is okay* don't forget that part

[kushblazer666]

[mutt-thingy]

already seeing people throwing around the term "birthday boy" and being transmedicalist about it.

[genderkoolaid]

literally why does anyone give a fuck about this guys tattoo????????

like this is genuinely fucking embarrassing for Y'ALL. if the fact that trans men have uteri and will talk about it and have feelings about it is this goddamn upsetting, go work on that yourself. i need y'all to reflect on why you love hallucinating the worst possible intentions when it comes to anything and everything a trans man does. this is so extremely a non-issue y'all just want to be an issue because the idea of trans men doing anything but quietly pretending to be cis men with extra steps triggers your internalized anti-transmasculinity.

not a single trans person on EARTH needs ANYONE'S permission to feel any kind of way about their sexed traits. not trans women or nonbinary with their penises, not trans men or nonbinary with uteruses, nobody. "its bioessentialist" TO HAVE?????? AN ORGAN YOU WERE BORN WITH AND WHICH IS HIGHLY STIGMATIZED AND SO HAVE FEELINGS ABOUT IT YOU EXPRESS THROUGH ART??????????????????? oh cry me a goddamn river. you know what you are soooo right let's ban every trans man from ever talking about having a uterus or abortion or pregnancy, because its kind of bioessentialist and transmisogynistic to talk about the highly stigmatized body you have!!!!!!!!!

to quote a person in the notes' very shitty defense of why this tattoo is "bioessentialist":

The replies on this post are absolutely full of trans men defending the bioessentialist back tat. Because it’s been buried in sealioning and mansplaining, I’ll say it again: if a trans woman got a tattoo like this depicting any of her cagab’s reproductive organs, she’d be put on a sex offender registry (or perhaps a kiwifarms thread). You people KNOW this tattoo looks terfy. It’s impossible to ignore. And that’s why you need to tie yourselves in knots to pretend it isn’t.

that a trans woman would get shit on for having a tattoo of her genitals (which i would also defend btw. i think trans women should Also be allowed to have art about their sex traits on their body, i don't think art of penises should be seen as inherently evil or disgusting) is irrelevant to why this tattoo is supposedly so bad. "trans women couldn't do this!!!" okay? that's unfair but it is, i cannot express this enough, not this guy's fucking problem.

i am Positive that there are cis people who would also freak the fuck out about this and bitch and moan and make a big transphobic stink about it, too. i don't know if you guys have noticed, but anytime a company dares to put top surgery scars on any kind of advertising, people have a meltdown over "celebrating the mutilation of young girls." transphobes are not normal about trans men either!

"people KNOW this tattoo looks terfy" i think ceding the grounds of ANY art made of one of the most stigmatized and controlled organs in a human body to TERFs is fucking stupid and misogynistic! & i also know if a cis woman did this y'all would not care even half as much, because you are all just swept up in the queer community's most recent Crabs In A Bucket discourse and you jump at ANY chance to paint trans men as evil transmisogynists rubbing their uteri in poor trans women's faces by virtue of. checks notes. talking about having their ability to have an abortion legally denied which can in fact kill people.

i do not know how to tell you people this any clearer

it is not bioessentialism for trans men to have uteri and talk about having a uterus and make art about having a uterus. you are just projecting bioessentialism onto trans men because you have deeply ingrained anti-transmasculinity and the present discourse has worsened it immensely. it is not bioessentialist to have an extremely stigmatized organ used by patriarchy to control people and to talk about that sometimes or make art of that sometimes.

[genderkoolaid]

cis people are wayyyy too damn comfortable with making jokes about men getting pregnant. and frankly so are other trans people.

[genderkoolaid]

idk what trans man/transmasc needs to hear this but no you are not in on the joke. 9/10 when somebody makes an mpreg joke they are not laughing with you. they aren't even really laughing at you. they are laughing at a caricature of you. they know what a trans man is and yet have so little care about trans men that their first thought when it comes to pregnant men is the hilarity of a cis man being feminized (often forcefully) and how amusingly grotesque or amusingly erotic they find it. you are not in on the joke. you were never in on the joke.

[genderkoolaid]

like. :( this was a funny episode otherwise but this was just really uncomfortable and upsetting to see. especially since i know dropout cuts out certain prompts in editing for a lot of reasons, so this promot went through so many different steps and nobody brought up how this might come across? or nobody thought it was bad enough? and i kept waiting for the contestants (one of whom literally is genderqueer!) to work into their jokes something make it clearly about cis men or smth, but. no. and how am i supposed to take that y'know?

[genderkoolaid]

i think my biggest problem is that these jokes boil down to "isn't it so WEIRD that a man is pregnant/has breasts???? isn't that so STRANGE?????" and whether you take that the route of "this is funny because its disgusting/disturbing" or "this is funny because its extremely erotically charged, often in a way tied to humiliation/control" you are deriving comedy from the idea of a trans/intersex man's body just. existing naturally. there is no greater depth it is just "wouldn't it be funny if a man was female in some way? but still identifiably masculine but in a way that has been corrupted by the sexual embarrassment of the most stereotypically female act? isn't that amusing?" and at worst its another example of how, when people try to get one over on cis men through the route of gendered/sexed humor, it frequently relies on leveraging trans & intersex men as examples of a man at his most failed, embarrassing, sexually dominated. and the worst part is again that there's not even a cursory attempt to diffuse this charge by the comedians making these jokes, there isn't any acknowledgement of what they are talking about. it's like anyone who's ostensibly a trans ally enters this pocket universe where trans and intersex men don't exist whenever one of these jokes comes around. and how am i supposed to feel about this!!!!!!!!!!!!

[genderkoolaid]

also its funny that the only time I have ever seen any meaningful public outrage about these jokes was towards Lil Nas X with his Industry Baby promotional stuff. which i frankly didn't even mind. because while obviously there was an element of "man pregnant!! how strange!!" because of Society, but to me the humor was primarily "a literal reference to the album title" + "i have a new album coming out, so i am depicting myself as literally pregnant with my new album." if he had been a cis woman, it still could've been funny, because there was more to it than just the shock factor of him being a man (although that is mostly how people took it).

but yeah. the only time ive ever seen anyone get any meaningful pushback against these kinds of jokes, was when it could be used to "call out" a Black GNC gay man who was already getting a ton of homophobic hate. how interesting.

[genderkoolaid]

"boypreggers" "boyvulating" "boybortion" do you know that a black trans men had the cops called on him because he went to an OB/GYN? or how a black trans man had doctors try to pressure him into getting an abortion, on top of other racist and transphobic medical mistreatment that caused him to have a mental breakdown and develop PTSD after giving birth? or how a black trans man was arrested for shoplifting because he was pregnant and they assumed his baby bump was stolen clothes? or that a pregnant trans man had to jump out of an uber with his wife and run away from the car because the driver was threatening him for being a pregnant man? or how a pregnant trans man was murdered by his abusive husband and misgendered across the news? do you think about any of this ever? do you remember your mpreg obsession when you start talking about reproductive rights or do you immediately start talking about "men controlling women's bodies" without a hint of fucking irony? has your fetishization and mockery of male pregnancy actually translated into any meaningful support for men who can get pregnant?

& i wanna make this crystal clear my point is not "everyone who makes these jokes knowingly is doing it to mock trans men." many people who make these jokes DO think they are doing it in xyz totally lighthearted unrelated to trans men way you think justifies this. my point is that no matter what people think these jokes are about, they are indicative of how we think about and engage with the reality of trans and intersex men. at the very least i want people to think twice before they throw around these jokes like there's no deeper meaning here.

[forestgreenandgray]

What is transandophobia actually?

Because with all this recent discourse, I'm not sure a lot of y'all actually understand what we're talking about.

Invisibility. The complete lack of representation (much less GOOD representation) in media. The way cis people think trans = white feminine binary trans woman and nothing else. The way even queer spaces use language that excludes us, language that implicitly misgenders us.

Exclusion. The idea within queer spaces that masculinity and manhood is evil or bad or predatory (note: this idea also contributes to transmisogyny in some cases).

Infantilisation. This is the main way transandrophobia manifests among conservatives. They see all transmascs as teenage girls, easily influenced and unable to make their own decisions.

Medical Gatekeeping. There are a heartbreaking number of transmasculine people who have suffered or died because doctors have refused to treat their reproductive health issues. There's also the fear you experience going to the gynecologist's office if you appear 'too masculine', even if you know you need that care.

Misogyny. Transmascs are constantly told that they're only transitioning to escape misogyny by TERFS and their ilk. On the other side of it, some well-meaning 'allies' like to tell transmascs that they're "misgendering themselves" if they want to talk about their experiences with misogyny.

[doberbutts]

Additionally:

Physical Violence. Trans mascs are subjected to violent transphobia often by their families or coworkers or peers. Everything from being beaten to being murdered, however due to invisibility and our transphobic society we never hear about these cases or they are lumped in with 'mistaken identity' cases. Trans mascs who are stealth and pass as cis men easily are more likely to be physically assaulted if they are ever clocked, and trans mascs who occupy the same spaces as cis gay men are often subjected to the same physical violence.

Sexual Violence. Trans mascs are uniquely at risk to be forcibly impregnated as a means of forcibly de-transitioning them, as often one cannot receive care for pregnancy or even the end of one without a Female sex marker on your medical file. They are also at high risk of being forcibly married into an abusive relationship, or especially one that will have the means to forcibly de-transition them. Being clocked in public but especially in private spaces like bathrooms and bedrooms also carries a high risk of sexual assault and rape, to the point where packer companies still to this day utilize both the glance test and the squeeze test to tell you if it is safe to use in a public restroom. A transgender boy was forced to show his principal his genitals when cornered by the adult in his middle school boys' bathroom. I have had my own genitals forcibly revealed on school grounds in elementary school by fellow students to 'prove' my gender.

Medical Gatekeeping Part Two. T perscriptions are notoriously difficult to obtain and carry a lot of stigma due to being classed as a controlled substance. Medically transitioning is often stopped by both misogyny ("don't ruin your beautiful uterus") and transphobia ("self-mutilation"), as well as high criterias to meet before being able to proceed (BMI standards, You Must Be This Masculine To Ride The Transition Train, non-binary more like non-surgery, and more!) Insurance, also, will often deny hormones and surgeries despite having it accepted in their policies.

Forced Feminizing. Many trans mascs are forcibly feminized as a means to forcibly de-transition them even before they begin. From parents forcing their trans masc children to take estrogen to 'cure' them, to their social group forcing them into feminine roles, to close personal relationships telling them they will be abandoned if they stray off the beaten path, this is sadly a reality for many non-transitioning trans mascs who often begin to contemplate suicide from being trapped in this cycle. Suicide is the highest cause of death for trans mascs and rape is the number one crime against trans mascs and this exact problem tells you why.

Isolation. This is a two-fold problem- due to invisibility, prior to the internet it was difficult to find *any* trans masculine people to share experiences with. This lack of representation leads to children in unsupportive homes left to feel broken and ashamed and directly contributes to the suicide problem. Those who survive this but are never given a word for it often go into survival mode and never speak about it with anyone, which cuts the new generation off from the old. We see this in every single person who is 50+ saying 'there's a word for that??? I thought I was just broken' and 'I made my piece with being a broken woman/failure at womanhood/not like other women (girls)'. BUT due to our proximity to men and manhood, we also are exposed to the isolation experienced by men on a regular basis. Cis men often do not have the support systems, close personal relationships, physical touch and emotional outlets, etc that cis women do. Many cis spaces are hostile to trans people, and trans mascs often find themselves either treated as man/woman-lite or outright denied access from these same support systems as a result. Trans mascs are often left to experience the trauma and isolation that makes cis men's suicide rates skyrocket, and many must experience these things completely alone.

Intersection. Black trans mascs and the way that the world goes from treating them like black women to black men often discuss how the grass is hardly greener on the other side. Disabled trans mascs often must choose between treatment for their disabilities and medical transition. Gay trans mascs are often considered predatory and accused of being rapists. Straight trans mascs are often considered predatory and traitors to lesbians. Trans mascs who call themselves lesbians are denied access to a part of themselves they have often had for longer than their transitions. Trans mascs who exclusively date men are de/misgendered and- if physically in a cis gay male space- sometimes subjected to physical violence if clocked. T4T trans mascs are considered mentally ill and de/misgendered and have their sexualities invalidated. Immigration is not an easy task when transgender nor is incarceration. Trans mascs are often forced to play on women's/girl's teams and then heavily punished for their testosterone levels or forced to choose between playing and de-transitioning if they have an advantage.

That, too, is what trans mascs run the risk of in this country. I cannot speak for those outside of the US.

[gender-incinerator]

"where are all the older transmascs and trans men?"

dead or detransitioned.

they were killed by their families. by their partners. by random strangers.

they killed themselves because they weren't treated with respect.

they never got out of the closet because they live in a part of the world where people seen as women don't have any autonomy.

they detransitioned because they had no support, because they were pushed out of community and safe queer spaces.

they're so stealth nobody in their lives knows they're trans, because they get treated with less respect when people know.

where are our transmasc elders? the community failed them, and now they're an endangered population.

[gor3sigil]

A cis woman tells me that maybe she should transition to gain male privilege as I'm recovering from getting beaten up in the men's bathrooms.

I tell her to be my guest and give me a call when she gets her jaw broken, I always carry a first aid kit and a pepper spray.

She calls me a misogynistic asshole.

A cis man tells me that he'd sure love some T.

Gave him my prescription and best of luck with the constant shortages and getting denied.

He calls me a pussy.

I'm fighting for my life and reproductive rights. I get told to get off women's fights, that it's not about me, like I shed my womb after my first T shot.

I search for support groups for SA victims, and I'm stuck in the same “women/NBs only”. Still shooting my shot, send an application. I introduce myself. Never get a call back.

I go to a trans night. Say I go by he/him. Get told back “yeah, that's how we all start !” by a trans woman. I'm too exhausted, I get up and I leave.

I hang out with my friends, one of them drunkenly says masculinity is a prison we must learn to escape. She gets rows of applause. Back to drinking alone.

Yes I could explain it. But who'd you rather be ? A delusional girl or a man made threat ?Or it could be better, I could just not exist ! And we'd bleach my corpse and I'd become a casualty. Not an F, ot an M, a W for Wound and for Wrong.

I put a candle on a single cupcake, 2 years on HRT. I blow it in the dark. Curtains closed like casket.

[cadaverer]

we NEED to reintroduce "cis" to the regular tumblr lexicon. which men get to play in the world cup? which men are used in medicine trials? the world is designed for which men, exactly?

[sollun-tea]

I have come across several blogs of people (especially transfems) who stated that trans men, transmascs or nonbinary people are not disproportionally marked unfriendly with the shinigami eye extension. I've seen someone even say that it's transmisogynistic to call it out.

Yet, I've come across this, side by side in broad daylight. The pink censored name is a random post and I censored the green one because I do not want anyone giving this person anymore attention.

The green "trans-friendly" post was made by a transmedical trans woman who has also made extremely horrible posts on nonbinary people, trans men and transmascs. A large number of her post targets specifically individuals who are AFAB for existing as AFAB trans folks, and she at times uses transmisogyny to excuse her behaviour. Her blog is clearly unsafe to most if not all, yet she was marked trans friendly.

The post on the right was made by a nonbinary person. I left them uncensored because their blog looks really cool and I think people should check them out. Their blog looks safe and alright yet it's marked unsafe.

And this is not the first time I've seen this. I have seen blogs by vile people who have straight up wished death on a whole group of people, talk smack about others in the commuity, and hold very horrible views but are marked trans friendly, and I've seen many get marked unfriendly because they bring up things like transandrophobia, exist as intersex, or heck, they criticized shinigami eye. Actual transphobes and TERFs are marked but then I've seen that most transfemmes I come across are marked green regardless of what they say for the most part, unless they criticize other transfemmes the they're marked red. Meanwhile, a LOT of trans men, intersex, and nonbinary people are marked red, but if they 100% agree at their own expense then they are marked green. This is why I don't trust this extension. Word of advice, rather than assuming right off the bat that the person is safe or not safe, actually check the blog. When I see someone marked red, I check their blog for myself to be sure. And when I see someone marked green, I'm still wary till I check. This extension doesn't help trans people feel safe, it only helps specific transfemmes feel safe from literally everyone else, even when they are unsafe to others.

[cyborgjaguarshaman]

I made a really shitty comic about the current transmasc vs transfem infighting in the trans community. We're all going to the same concentration camp either way, so I don't see the point.