Lost inside my head

25/boy/Germany/depressed with a fucked up mind/alkohol problem/drug addict/self hate/ suicidal/can't trust anyone/clean since 15.08.2021..

[dave16389]

I kinda hope I’m living in an simulation that’s about how much a single person can take bevor this person breaks and commits suicide

[dave16389]

I wish I could talk with someone about the heavy feeling in my chest I’ve been having for a couple days now. The feeling that makes every breath feel so hard and my hands shaking. It makes me feel so empty.

I can’t sleep and every time I eat I want to puke. I haven’t felt that bad in years but my head refuses to let me talk to someone.

[the-thought-corner]

"you're so distant" you literally made me feel like i wasn't important

[saduboiss-deactivated20260204]

sometimes I just get so sick and tired of fighting just to survive.

[dave16389]

I made my brother cry today with telling him how messed up my head is and and how miserable I am. So tell me how is this supposed to help when everyone ist saying talk to someone it’s gonna help

[dave16389]

Please let me die in my sleep tonight

[dave16389]

I don’t want a 25th birthday

[dave16389]

I’ve reached a new all time low

[dave16389]

And another year gone by.. still disappointing every one around me, still hurting every one around me.

I’m about to be a dad but how can I raise a child when I am like that. How can I be a good dad when I’m not even a good son or a good boyfriend by myself.

I am miserable, I am a failure. I will ever be a disappointment for me, for my parents, for everyone around me and especially for my son

And with that being said, happy birthday to me you little shits.

[destroyedlonelysoul]

it's fucking sad but this is THE ONE secret i never told anybody. not even my loved ones.

my biggest wish in life is to be free from depression and having kids. i always say that i hate kids but it's because i, myself, can't live with my depression. it's fucking exhausting to know that you're never going anywhere in life.

[dave16389]

Why am i doing this all the time

[dave16389]

I just can't stop destroying things.. why am I like this?.. why am I so stupid..

[dave16389]

Aaaaand welcome back to the shit show called: "my life"

[dave16389]

I made a lot of wrong decisions and fought for the wrong people. Now i have to live with it

[dave16389]

I didn't make it.. i stayed clean for 1 1/2 years.. but i couldn't stay away from it.. i failed myself..

[dave16389]

I got money and everything else I need. I should be happy.. but I'm not.. I still feel alone.. Cause all the material things in the world can't give you the feeling what a single person who truly loves you can give you..

[dave16389]

Everytime when i think i can trust someone i get replaced by the first chance they get. So yeah, i think I'm better off alone. I think that's just what I'm supposed to be.. I'm not even someones second or third choice.. I'm just someone people spend their time with when they got nothing better to do