dave ross is bored

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New things coming.

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I am going to have to accept that when someone asks me if I'm ready for Christmas that this is just the December version of how's it going and not telling them well Mindy does all the work and I'm not all that into it anyway and sorry for being a Scrooge. Today a construction worker in the elevator at my office asked me if I was ready for Christmas and I just said yes and it's almost here and how about you and didn't have to the deal with the external and internal questioning of what's wrong with me. Not sure why I haven't figured this out years ago.

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On the drive home after a morning hike with Louie, “Even Flow” came on the radio and I turned it up and told Louie I liked this song when I was a kid.

Rocking out to songs I liked as a kid in the van with my kids nowadays is one of my favorite spontaneous things to do.

“Do you still like this song?” Louie then asked.

Wow, loaded question, little one.

Pearl Jam was clearly my favorite band throughout high school, possibly sometime slightly before and after as well. Though at some point in my 20s stopped listening to them.

And even though I liked Pearl Jam over Nirvana in their heydays, I retrospectively think I prefer Nirvana.

So I told Louie, let’s listen to Pearl Jam when we get home so I can answer your question precisely.

Looked up Pearl Jam on Apple Music, put on Ten and we’re now on track 7 of 11 and I have to say I’m really enjoying this. Louie seems to dig it as well.

I wish this post had a broader message.

But the message seems to merely be I’m a 37-year-old dude who liked Pearl Jam in the ‘90s then stopped listening to them but now I’ve put their debut album on 25 years later and I still kind of like it.

I’m not sure this is good Tumblr.

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I have these grand ideas of writing interesting things.

And I’ve been at home for the last few days, plenty of time to  write full blog posts on a computer as opposed to my phone on busy weekdays.

But in my downtime, I’ve pretty much just watched The OA on Netflix.

At least I could have made some progress on reading some books, but I didn’t.

I am in a weird funk where I’m not spending the majority of my time doing the things I most want to be doing.

Need to figure this out.

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I made an omelet for the first time in my life today. Might have been the first time in my life I’ve ever even made eggs. I should probably be embarrassed to admit this but am not.

Wasn’t that hard really. Watched this video on YouTube. Took like 7 or 8 minutes from start to finish. Maybe tomorrow I’ll get a little crazy and add some fresh herbs.

Been in a slump in terms of eating right lately, breakfast being something I can’t quite crack, relying on Cliff Bars which can’t be the sustainable answer.

Want to start eating more real food. And I’m not even sure what qualifies as real food but eggs in the morning--with nothing more than a little butter and olive oil and cheese--certainly does.

Hopefully, trying something new (realizing that this something new is something completely ordinary to the vast majority of the U.S. adult population) will get me out of my funk and back onto a healthy streak.

I certainly need it.

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It’s Friday night and I’m home and I’m still writing blog posts on my phone.

I’m in a weird spot health-wise, I’m at way too high a weight and can’t seem to get back on track food-wise which in turn has led me to less exercise.

Tomorrow will be better.

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I didn’t like my post yesterday as I’m sure I have more interesting things to say about the early years of having kids and what happened in Arrival.

I could blame it on the fact I wrote it on my phone but I’m not going to do that because in earlier incarnations of me trying to blog daily I never did it on my phone meaning I brought my personal laptop for hotel room blogging on work trips and queued up blog posts in advance when if I didn’t take my laptop.

And I don’t want to do that. I’d rather just accept the fact that I’m not going to love all my posts in the interest of the bigger picture greater good of keeping this thing going because I have to believe I’m getting something out of the daily practice of writing.

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Saw a movie by myself tonight while traveling for work in Naples at a movie theater that serves dinner and alcohol which came in handy as I didn’t have time to eat beforehand.

The dinner wasn’t great but movie was. Saw Arrival. I like seeing movies at the theater but don’t often because kids and when we do get a babysitter we don’t go to the movies.

In the rare times I do take the opportunity to see something at the theater, it’s usually to see something sci-fi that is probably experienced best on the big screen.

Not sure I loved the story. But I reserve the right to change my opinion as I reflect on it over the next few days.

But I liked the movie overall because I liked its aesthetic. And that’s more important to me these days. Maybe I’m and older and wiser and more discerning or maybe I have just been listening to the Bret East Ellis podcast too much. Oh and Amy Adams was great and I now want to see more of her movies.

I will say I did tear up in the first few minutes as there was an opening Tree of Life-like sequence that involved parenthood and a dying child.

I will also say, the imagery of the young baby did take me back to when my kids were born and how that time in my life feels like another lifetime. And it’s weird–and I guess good–that as stressful as that time was to live through at moments, I seem to look back on it favorably.

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Me: You had a healthy start to the week yesterday. Let's keep it going on your 2-night work trip. Inner me: It's a long drive and you're hungry. Stop at the 1st gas station you see, get some of those mini Reese's Mini Peanut Butter Cups and finish the entire bag before you're even back on the interstate.

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“Freedom is our problem and freedom is our opportunity.”

- Seth Godin

I have way more freedom in my life to do cool shit than I admit to myself but use my responsibilities and obligations as excuses and crutches far too often.

Like right now. At this moment.

The kids are in bed. And I can be done typing this blog post very soon and still have an hour or so to do so many things and still get to bed a reasonable hour, but instead I will probably just watch something on Netflix.

So I better make it something good on Netflix.

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I read Seth Godin’s words are think they’re supposed to be inspirational and they are to some extent but I take them more as indictments of what I have not been doing.

I sped through this book, What To Do When It’s Your Turn, and want to go back an reread the quotes and reflect on them and blog about them here.

At dinner tonight Mindy asked me if I ever thought about doing something crazy and changing your life. And I said, yes, all the time.

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Struggling with what to write at the present.

Don’t have any ongoing series, like recapping improv classes or Joy Division/New Order songs, maybe I need to find another one.

Guess I had started blogging that Tyler Cowen online book(ish thing) about economic growth, but I lost steam.

Can’t find that Keith Johnstone improv book I was going to blog either, which is a problem because I borrowed it.

Finished that Seth Godin book that’s just a series of vignettes and quotes, so that’d be a good think to blog, post a quote from that then react.

Would love to pick back up blogging The Mary Tyler Moore Show from my old blog, but I don’t know how to jump back in.

Could blog my Emerging Market Finance book, at least the chapter on the financial crises that I never read.

Speaking of my MBA, could reread Thinking Fast and Slow and blog that, think I may have lent out my copy.

What about that health book from the ‘60s or ‘70s that I found intriguing and bought used on Amazon?

Can’t forget Power and/or Influence, still want to read those and they’d be bloggable.

But need to go ahead and finish Independence Day.

The fact is there are plenty of things to create series out of, I am just not inspired to start one at the moment.

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Sometimes I think about where I’m at in my life and the how I got to where I am and the decisions (and lack of decisions) I made to get to where I am.

And thinking back feels more like a movie than something I actually lived through.

And reflecting on this feels sort of cliche, Iike I’m a married 37-year-old white guy with 3 kids, and of course I’d feel like this eventually, because that’s how it happens in the movies.

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"The enemy of creative work is boredom, actually. And the friend is alertness. Now I think what makes you alert is to be faced with a situation that is beyond your control so you have to be watching it very carefully to see how it unfolds, to be able to stay on top of it. That kind of alertness is exciting.”

- Brian Eno

I can definitely say this is the case for improv. Except in improv they call it listening.

But I like the word alertness. 

Reminds me of Bob, my level 1 teacher, demonstrating the right way to play Zip Zap Zop, getting his body in pose of a middle linebacker right before the snap, knees bent, arms out, head on a swivel.  Alertness was the more precise word than listening for this exercise.

I recall the classes where I learned the most and performed the best is when I embraced my inner Bob and was alert.

Why am I still applying lessons I read online to improv? I haven't done improv in a month or so. Sure, I've being going to shows. But am I ever going to perform again? I tell people I'm pondering taking another class in January. But am I?

It's time I focus on applying the lessons of improv practically to life, no?

Alertness.

When I'm multi-tasking instead of paying full attention on a conference call at work.

When I’m zoning out while the kids are telling me about Pokemon or Minecraft.

When I’m watching Netflix when Mindy's trying to talk to me up in her office after the kids go to bed and have a few moments of 1:1 time at the end of the day.

Alertness.

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I’ve had Sturgill Simpson’s album on one of my Apple Music playlists for most of the year because though it was highly recommended from music journalists whose opinions I value, it was also billed as more country than alt-country, and that’s not really my thing. But then I saw it was nominated for album of the year by the Grammys and I gave it a listen while cooking dinner tonight. And then I immediately listened to it again. If this is country then I like country.

I have watched 2 Black Mirror episodes on Netflix, but are they all going to be so depressing? I am not sure I can take much more of these downers. I watched The Lobster on Amazon last weekend and not sure I get it but think I’d like to watch it again. Thought I was excited to see Boyhood when it finally came to Netflix, but now that I can, I am not sure I will actually watch it. I definitely can’t wait to watch Blue Jay which I understand Mark Duplass wrote just a 2-page outline of a script for, thus it was mainly improvised.

Edwin is now caught up on Star Wars movies to me. Took him to The Force Awakens back when it was in theaters and he loved it. Watched the original trilogy on DVD and he loved it too. I forgot how good the 1st 2 movies are, especially The Empire Strikes Back. I think it has something to do with the pacing. Maybe I’m back in on Star Wars? He and I watched Episode I this weekend and it was as shitty as I remembered (which is why I never bothered with the next 2). Edwin’s favorites so far are in fact Episode I and The Force Awakens, probably having something to do with them being more modern. He actually liked Jar Jar Binks which I guess proves that was for kids. I’m actually sort of curious for to see Episode II and III.

The post election analysis and hand wringing and mania about Trump are really taken their toll on my ability to read the news sources I once read. It’s really getting annoying. I find Ann Althouse and Tyler Cowen and Scott Alexander about the only things I want to read online. I need to find more blogs like those.

I really hope the Steelers close out the season well and make the playoffs. Their last few wins have been enjoyable for me.

Oh, and I just discovered ASMR videos on YouTube.

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I want to write a 10 best albums of the year post because I want to be the sort of person that writes year end best of lists, but I've scanned through my iTunes and realized I've only listened to 10 new albums this year in their entirety and one of those technically came out at the end of 2015. I guess I could listen to a bunch albums from other people's best albums of the year lists, and in fact I already have stuck a handful in easy to reach places in my Apple Music playlists, so maybe I'll do that. I doubt anything else could break into my top 3 favorites from Pinegrove, The 1975 and Car Seat Headrest, but I'm open to being proven wrong. So if i say I'll do so here, will I actually type up a blog post about this while I'm off for a few days around Christmas? Maybe. But maybe I should play it safe and say I'll blog my top 5.

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I read James Altucher blog posts and Seth Godin books and blog posts and they tell me my time is now and to create something and live up to my potential.

And I can believe it.

But I always seem to be waiting for something.

Waiting for the next restructure at my company so I know which city I’ll be in. 

Waiting for my diet and exercise plan to work so I can finally be healthier. 

Waiting for the kids to get older so we can downsize or live somewhere cooler.

My patience has led to many positive things in my life.

But I think it might be time for me to be a little less patient.