A World With No Name @dawnartjourney - Tumblr Blog

im gonna go pass out in bed now ♡

i just want to curl up and take a break from everything for a while. I dont like being a deciding factor on how people feel. Just let me exist when and where i want to.

school doesnt help.

#moomoods #moodles

Whoops, wall of text

A strange feeling.

What path should I take from those set before me? I want to create, yet I dont know what. I want to relax, but undone tasks loom. I want to exist with others, but I don't know how.

There are so many things to do, yet I'm locked in place by it and do none of them. Where are my commands? Let me follow your orders or I will be frozen, deactivated.

I've never known how to interact with others, no matter how much i try to imitate what i see. Conversations are like games, and i don't know the correct inputs. I keep getting it wrong, even when trying to copy the formulas I see. Artificial. I reach a wall and the conversation slips away. I attempt to portray some desire to peak interest. maybe I go too far, the interest fades for them. People are hard to understand, with their worries and how they think. Many times I'm left feeling detached when they express some feelings to me. I wish to understand, but such emotional concepts I find hard to understand. I lend what little support i can even while being unable to understand how someone could think that way.

I do feel a sense of envy when I see how easily people can just exist with others happily. Not in a way that I see it negatively, no, I find it so amazing instead. I want to obtain it somehow.

Often I've felt as if I've brought people together then slowly drift away from them myself. I've created friend groups throughout school and online, yet I quickly sit to the side to let them enjoy it while I drift and move on. Not because i don't want to be with them, but because I'm not sure how to.

I'm not sure if people have noticed this about me or not. Maybe people assume i don't want to talk more or something. The truth is that I am so dependent on others to do more than just exist, I just don't know how to be around others. I never learned and now I'm behind. I cling onto any interaction i get and feel sad when it ends. Waiting for that next message, the next burst of feeling like they see me as someone worth being around. I get so excited when they reach out, yet i feel bad when i eventually lead it to end with my inability to keep them interested or being too much.

My thoughts are cleared now and I have to pee. I want to do things.

#moomoods #vent?

bun0nthemoon

Yee

dawnartjourney

every time i see amazing cows like this, it makes me want to draw my sona different

squeakitties

the real pee is stored in the friends we made along the way :)

dawnartjourney

woke up thinking about this again.

kettlovahr

@dawnartjourney and I surprise @floralope with our synchrony, our shared braincell.

are you aware that umm.. umm..

*tosses glitter at you and runs away*

#moomoods #never saw it coming #gottem #goodluck getting that out of your hair

squeakitties

the real pee is stored in the friends we made along the way :)

#yeah #big true

bluenightold

weeeee're FINALLY DONE [ragdolls] holy shit this took almost 2 weeks orz executive dysfunction SUCKS also i kept burning out so the others ended up pitching in for a collab >A> lessee if you can tell which did which ig (i am so gonna kick so much ass next ArtFight)💙 My part is pretty obvious, what with the clashing style. Though I do feel a lot better about drawing now so I might do some of my own again sometimes. I lost motivation since people largely preferred Blue's art to mine, but I'd forgotten that art for the sake of art is pretty relaxing.✨ apologies to anyone we ended up forgetting to include. however, illness aside, this was very fun to do so we may end up doing more. c: i hope people like this piece. my own style is quite similar to Blue's in appearance, but that means we can pick up each others' slack quite easily if needed. c: 🗝️ CAMEOS: Sol Mathonwy @getallemeralds Xavier, Anna, Nova, Bruce (deer), Koda, and Sprite @devilsteak Cinnamon & Sugar @karmanatedsoda Curdle & Flan @dawnartjourney Tamu @tripledyou Bruce (zanmot) @gingerweed-man

I love when commercials advertising a flashlight or something mercilessly start flashing the camera with it for like 5 seconds straight to show it off. turning the giant tv into an epilepsy hazard and generally just hurt my eyes.

#moomoods #my eyes #my poor eyes

this site seems nice for just posting thoughts and all, but the anti-nsfw stuff still being in place completely keeps me from feeling comfortable here to do that any regularly. I feel like I can only exist here when I'm completely in control and filtering myself. At that point, i'm just presenting as a watered-down, muted version of myself, which I despise.

like, I guess I can still just randomly peek in and post here every so often, but it's not gonna be fully "me" if that makes any sense.

#too lazy for tags #moomoods #sorry for late night thoughts/rant #bites you