faded moon

[7244395]

Sorry we can’t cbt our way out of the fact that the earth is becoming observably less habitable with each passing year

[7244395]

Tbf we can’t cock and ball torture our way out of climate crisis either

[sloppystyle]

[minkstole-deactivated20210820]

this is so real actually

[cheeso]

The problem with tumblr

i am being pursued by a mysterious sphinx

[ask-vonbelfry]

… wat

[cheeso]

im being followed by a huge flying sphinx constantly

[hopeful-trekkie-deactivated2022]

James T. Kirk:

-Graduated in the top 4% of his year -was bullied by jocks -Is a history nerd -was so much of a teacher’s pet that he cheated on an exam and was commended for it -Was referred to as “a stack of books with legs”

Jean-Luc Picard:

-Spent all his free time drinking in pubs and playing billiards -broke more hearts than he can remember -started a bar fight that ended up in him being stabbed in the heart -likes to explore dangerous ruins of ancient civilizations for fun -wouldn’t even have become a starship captain if he wasn’t this much of a hothead

And yet people still manage to get it backwards???

[kalinara]

I think it’s a problem of First Officer, really.

Jim Kirk seems like a wild man because he’s standing next to calm, logical Spock.*  

Meanwhile, Picard seems stately and dignified because he’s standing next to Will “Any alien physiology is bangable if you just put some thought into it” Riker*.  

* Of course THEN, we get to the next layer, which is that Spock is the dude who told the Vulcan Science Academy to fuck itself, while Riker plays the trombone.

The Federation is a confusing place.

[cvrc11]

It’s definitely also a casting thing, to be fair. Shatner got a SCRIPT that said “play a giant gay nerd” but he played him like a jock fuckboy, and Stewart’s script said “play a jock fuckboy” and he played him like a giant gay nerd. Both of these were inspired decisions and I love them for making them. 

[lytefoot]

It’s age, too. We see Picard after he’s grown out of his nonsense. In the first episode, he has a talk with Riker like, “Hey, just so you know? I hired you because you got written up for calling out your last captain when he was being a dumbass. I consider calling me out when I’m being a dumbass to be an important part of your job.”

Meanwhile, Kirk is young and apparently hot (if you’re into that sort of thing) and all the alien ladies, through no fault of his own, want to bang him 100% of the time–this isn’t a thing he does on purpose and indeed is something he’s often horrified and baffled by.

[elidyce]

I personally like that every Starfleet Officer ever seen has ‘Shenanigans’ as one layer of their personality, all that varies is how far down it is and what prompts it. 

[decaffeinatedvoidwombat]

*sits down*

dont you think its weird. dont you think its weird that the space race last time was two of the biggest powers in the world. and now its a handful of rich men. dont you think its weird they can afford that. dont you think its bad that rich men can afford the same things as the government.

dont you think its weird that while the world is suffering and poverty is everywhere, where there's wars and climate change and human pain and homelessness. the same month I've watched people die on the news from unbearable heat and unprecedented flooding. that a rich handful of men are going to space, causing more carbon emissions. dont you think its weird that instead of putting their vast amount of money to use for good they're using it to find a way off the planet theyre destroying.

dont you think its really fucking weird.

[remakesihavetoremake-deactivate]

Bandersnatch sounds like British slang for pussy

[potstickersandpizza]

and yet “family-friendly” disney still hired him to play doctor strange. what a disgrace

[dykebisclavret]

this post is like getting smacked in the face twice

[guerrillatech]

[funnytwittertweets]

[lemonh0ney-deactivated20220827]

i think lesbians should be able to teleport

[rottingfacade]

there’s been an accident at the explosion factory

[insomniac-arrest]

how come cats look outside and start vibrating their little mouths so much and so quick while sounding like they are printing copies from a fax machine. why do birds do that to them.

[yahooanswers-official]

My cat when she sees a bird: ..-. .-.. -.– / .. -. / – -.– / – — ..- - ….

[tandembicycles]

[anexperimentallife]

[catgirlcaliphate]

Congratulations to Definitely Craig on being the funniest person alive.

[damonalbarngirl]

i wish i was a character on a silly tv show so gay people on tumblr dot com would psychoanalyze me for free

[anexperimentallife]

[ifonlymp3-deactivated20220624]

i got really mad at red today

[ifonlymp3-deactivated20220624]

this is literally one of the funniest things i’ve read today thank you

[fullmetalpotterhead]

[etirabys]

probably no one else finds this funny and I’m driving away my friends a fraction of a percent at a time every time I do it, but I think the height of comedy is when you react to an emoji with the same emoji in a chat medium that permits this

[itsbenedict]

🤔